A Christmas Coma

By Jerseygirlinoxford

A/N: The spirit of Christmas is upon me, and it inspired me to write a Holiday Plum! At least the writing muse has returned, and I am back to work on Not Without You. I hope you like this story. It's my usual mix of humor, suspense, action, and angst, but it will have a happy ending. It's a Christmas story after all. While I appreciate your reviews(and I still want them), I'd like to ask all my readers for a favor. I have been a volunteer at the Ronald McDonald Family Room at Duke for almost 7 years now. Ronald McDonald Charities is a wonderful organization. It's something that most people will never need to use, but if you do have a sick child, there is no greater resource in your corner. So…next time you are at McDonalds, please put $1.00 in the donation box if you have enjoyed this story. Or if someone does a good deed for you, pay it forward. This is the season of giving.

Chapter One

With Christmas only two days away, Vinnie harped on Stephanie to pick up the remaining skips before he left for his cruise. Stephanie already grabbed the embezzler and the drunk driver, but the armed robber still eluded her. Figures, that skip would pay for all her Christmas shopping and January's rent. Stephanie decided to cash in her body receipts now, do a little shopping, and then look for Timothy 'Tiny Tim' Mathews tomorrow. His profile pegged him at six foot four. She didn't even want to think about what body part gave him the nickname 'Tiny'.

Stephanie pulled her car from the police station's lot and headed towards the bonds office. Fortunately, Morelli was nowhere to be seen. They had another blow out about her job…and playing couch commando with the remote control. That was just after Thanksgiving, and she'd only seen him in passing. She still couldn't decide if she missed him or not. That couldn't be a good sign for any relationship.

She turned onto Montgomery and almost ran over another ex. Dickie Orr had been shuffling across the street carrying a brand new Dirt Devil. He came from the direction of A & G Appliances. Dickie wouldn't have been such a loss, but that was a brand new vacuum. Briefly overcome with the spirit of the holidays, Stephanie rolled down her window to apologize.

"Watch where you're going, dumb ass!" Dickie screamed at her. He tossed the vacuum into the trunk of his red BMW then gave her a middle-fingered salute when he realized it was her.

"What an asshole," Stephanie muttered under her breath. She should have run him down like she did Morelli. She gave Dickie another Italian hand gesture before hitting the gas pedal.

To Stephanie's dismay, a black Porsche Cayenne sat at the curb in front of the bonds office. The holiday season usually brought out the best in people…except Ranger. And her ambivalent feelings about him didn't help matters either. Ranger's mixed signals had taken a toll on her. He said that he loved her, was emotionally attached to her, was always there for her, but made it clear that he wanted no part of any committed relationship with her. Stephanie was past the point of being able to settle for just friendship.

On the other hand, there was Joe Morelli. Her mother's constant tirades of settling down and marrying Morelli had gotten old as well. Stephanie did love Joe, and she was pretty sure that Joe cared for her too. She just never had that giddy, head-over-heels, butterflies in the stomach, feeling of being in love with Morelli like she did with Ranger. Ranger was magic, and Joe was a friend with benefits. As much as she felt like she would be settling with Joe, she got the impression she wasn't Joe's first choice either.

Stephanie eased into the open space two cars behind Ranger's Cayenne. As her luck would have it, Ranger emerged from the office. And even worse, her parking spot sat right across from the alley. Swell. She knew it wouldn't do any good to pretend that she didn't see him. Ranger already was leaning against the brick wall at the corner of the building.

Stephanie stalled by slowly gathering up her paperwork and organizing her pocketbook. With Ranger's crankiness and her confusion, she dreaded this encounter like a trip to the gynecologist. She glanced his way and noticed that he had crossed his arms. Now she had to deal with a cranky and impatient Ranger. She deeply inhaled, blew the stray curls off her forehead, and exited the car.

"Oh, hi Ranger," she began. "I didn't see you there."

Ranger's blank mask stayed in place as he took her by the elbow and guided her into the alley. Pressing his body into hers, he backed her against the bricks and kissed her with everything he had. Her body betrayed her as Stephanie grabbed the front of his jacket and gave back as good as she got. It was probably only seconds, but it felt like a lot of minutes before her mind regained control. More mixed signals. This had to stop before it destroyed her. Cutting Ranger out of her life would be the hardest thing that she would ever do. Stephanie may never fully get over it, but at least it would force to her move on with her life. Stephanie pulled away and looked down. Ranger moved in for more, but she put a hand to his chest.

"Don't," she whispered.

"Why?" he asked. No emotion in his voice at all. "You back with Morelli?"

Stephanie rolled her eyes. Like that had ever stopped him before. She couldn't look him in the face, so she just shook her head.

"What's wrong?"

It was now or never, she thought. As much as she wanted to be with Ranger, the non-relationship relationship they had was going the same place as her friends-with-benefits relationship with Morelli…nowhere.

"I…I can't do this anymore, Ranger," she told him softly.

Ranger raised a brow and crossed his arms again as he straightened. "What are you talking about, Babe?"

"I'm talking about us. This. Kissing in this alley. You telling me that you love me but don't want a relationship," she blurted out. Now that the flood gates had opened, she couldn't seem to stop. "I'm all mixed up inside and don't like how it feels anymore."

Ranger stepped back and leaned against the opposite wall. "I've always been honest with you, Stephanie."

Stephanie? Yikes. That didn't sound too good. Now that she laid all her cards on the table that was all he had to say? Her Italian-Hungarian blood began to boil.

"Are you sure about that?"

When he didn't answer, Stephanie turned to leave.

"Babe…please."

Please! He pulled out the kryptonite. Damn it! She sighed and slowly spun to face him.

"You have no idea how much I want to…" he began, but Stephanie cut him off.

"Yeah, I know. There are things I don't know about you. Your lifestyle doesn't lend itself to relationships. Blah blah blah," Stephanie told him. "Whatever, Ranger. I get it."

Ranger tried to reach for her, but she put up a hand again.

"No, you don't get it," he insisted but kept his distance.

"Remember when you told me that you would ruin me for all other men? Well, you did. You ruined my heart. How long did you think you could play with my emotions before I would break? Well, let me clue you in…I'm broken!"

Stephanie knew it was only a matter of time before the tears would fall. She hated for people to see her cry. She scurried out of the alley before the first tear fell. She couldn't face Lula or Connie, or anyone for that matter, so she practically dove in her car. Praying, she turned the key and breathed a sigh of relief when the engine cranked right over. She gunned the motor and tore down the street without looking back.

Stephanie didn't even make it around the corner when the Batman theme wafted from her purse. She refused to answer it. Her apartment was out; Ranger would probably show up there. She couldn't go shopping because she didn't turn in her body receipts. And listening to her mother go on and on about Morelli wasn't an option either. With two days left, she might as well go find Tiny Tim.

She pulled into the drive-thru at McDonalds and order French fries and an egg nog shake. Then she parked at the back of the lot to review his file. Denial and McDonalds' fries couldn't push her fight with Ranger out of her mind. Where she got the strength to say those things to the man in black was a total mystery. It was also a long time coming. But she couldn't help feeling guilty too. Ranger might have played with her emotions, but he had always been there for her as well.

The Batman theme played once more. Again, she ignored it, but he left a message this time. Her brain and heart debated listening to the message or deleting it.

"Oh who am I kidding?" she muttered as she connected to her voice mail. Of course she wanted to hear what he had to say. Her head was done, but her heart wasn't ready to let go.

"Babe…don't give up on me."

Shit! Shit! Shit! He did it again. This was a kabillion times worse than please! Just like on Star Trek, that message was like a tractor beam pulling her back. Did she just give him a wake-up call? Did he think he'd be able to use his Ranger charm to keep their non-relationship going? More confusion.

Stephanie had always made herself available to Ranger. Maybe it was time to let him sweat for a change. Ranger didn't like unknowns. Ranger always had to be in control. For once, Stephanie had the feeling that she might have the upper hand. She replayed his message. Maybe this was a good thing, she told herself. It put her mind at ease enough to refocus on her skip.

Tiny Tim Matthews belonged to The Breed motorcycle club. Not good. Stephanie couldn't understand why the bond was so low with all his priors. Normally, a guy with this history would be in Ranger's price range. He worked at Hailey's Pub on the other side of town. Looked like he was two-timing the girlfriend who posted his bond. The alternate address sure wasn't his mother or his sister! She decided to start at Hailey's.

A few motorcycles and a couple of cars were scattered in the parking lot. She scanned the license plates, but none matched Tiny Tim's. Stephanie polished off her egg nog shake then started for the door.

"Oops," she sighed.

Stephanie placed her bag on the hood and took inventory. No gun, no pepper spray, and no cuffs. Only her wallet, keys, a wayward Tic Tac, and a tampon could be found. Her spidey senses twitched. She hadn't planned on looking for Tiny Tim until tomorrow. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Then again, when was she ever really prepared to do her job? Bringing in this skip would really pull her out of a financial hole. It wouldn't hurt to just check out the place. Besides, even the toughest men cowered in the presence of a feminine hygiene product. She shook off the bad vibes and slipped inside the bar.

The dim lighting hindered Stephanie's ability to identify Tiny Tim or anyone else for that matter. She could make out one man behind the bar, three other men and a woman seated in front of him, and about three other people at a table in the back.

"What'll it be?" the bartender called out to her.

"Oh…nothing," Stephanie replied. She shuffled over to him. "I'm looking for Tiny Tim. Have you seen him around?"

"Who's askin'?" the bartender asked cautiously.

"A friend," Stephanie lied. "He left me a message that he needed some money, but he didn't let me know how to reach him. I thought I might catch him at work."

The bartender nodded. "He'll be in at nine."

"Thanks. I'll come back later," she told him.

Stephanie felt a sense of relief to be leaving the bar without any trouble. She decided that she would go back to the bonds office and turn in her body receipts. With the money, she could go shopping and avoid Ranger at the same time. Now that was the best idea she had all day!

Distracted by her thoughts, Stephanie did not hear the person sneaking up behind her.

"Stay away from him, you bitch!"

She didn't know what hit her, but intense pain shot through the back of her head. The world spun as the gravel came up to meet her. Her vision fogged as she fought to stay awake. The last thing Stephanie heard was Ranger's voice telling her not to give up on him. Then she slipped into the abyss.

To be continued…