Fagey McFagengton The 5th

Title: Intervention and Reconnection

Written for: CharTwilightMom

Written by: EternallyCullen

Rating: M

Summary/Prompt Used: Sometimes new parents will go against the odds to have some alone time. Even if it means making the most of the offers they get... (prompt used: Dad/InkWard)

Special thanks to Frankielynn for smacking me around and kicking me over my comma use, and to my SamWard and OCD-Pea for pre-reading. You ladies are super special.

Over the past few months I have discovered a few new things. Firstly, having a baby is both the best and the worst thing in the world.

My husband Edward and I were blessed with our son, Brody, after just two months of trying. Trying being me having my merina coil removed. I had honestly expected conceiving to take a lot longer that it did. I'd started to feel little less than human. I felt the need to sleep a lot more, and Edward even commented on the fact that my boobs had got bigger – which ultimately resulted in me socking him in the face because when he grabbed me it hurt like fuck... I decided to take a pregnancy test and was rewarded with two blue lines.

My pregnancy was pretty much text book stuff. I had a little morning sickness during the first trimester – nothing too horrific. I did get little uncomfortable towards the end, and then really frustrated when I went overdue... but it was amazing. My libido went crazy and Edward was more than happy to give me what I needed, pretty much whenever I wanted it. Our love life had never been better.

Then Brody arrived.

And of course, you have to wait six weeks until the Doctor gives you the all clear to get at it again... not that sex was even on my radar for a good few weeks after his birth. I'd even considered swearing off dick for the rest of my life after the exorbitant amount of stitches I'd had after an encounter with some forceps...

However, we'd had it all planned out – I even set up the bedroom like some sort of corny seductress's lair. Satin sheets, candles and soft music – the whole shebang... and then when it came to the crunch and his long fingers skimmed the outside of my panties; we were jolted apart by a piercing scream coming from the baby monitor. I excused myself and went to go check on Brody, fed him a little and an hour later he was snoring softly back in his crib once again. I went back into the bedroom to find my husband passed out, in the dead center of the bed, on his stomach. Snoring. Loudly. It was only nine thirty.

He literally must have just got comfortable and fallen asleep. He was still clad in just his boxer briefs and on top of the covers. The gauze and wrap covering his newest bit of ink was coming away from his shoulder. I loved looking at all of his tattoos. It reminded me of how we met – which was in his tattoo studio of all places – where I'd fainted whilst choosing a font for my ex boyfriends name. Yes, choosing. I heard a buzzing across the room and saw some huge dude getting inked on his HEAD and darn well passed out, cold.

I didn't get the tattoo, and the immediate attraction to Edward meant that I didn't have the boyfriend for much longer either. I had been stupid being with James for so long, and although the attraction of tattoos was great – I love them... I couldn't see myself with several. Especially a tramp stamp of some guy who was never planning on marrying me anyway.

Edward was perfect. His toned arms covered in two full sleeves, with the most eclectic designs you could imagine, but it suited him amazingly. Before we married he got my name and a damn swan placed on his chest, right over his heart. Far too cheesy for me, and there was no way in hell I would have asked him to do it – but it was his own design and he wanted it. That, and it was a sweet gesture. And now, on his right shoulder, in the most beautiful text, our son's name and date of birth.

Or naughty night in the sack didn't happen that night, nor in the following weeks. Each time, the same thing happened. We'd get down to it. One time he even got inside of me, and after one thrust, Brody woke – stopping us yet again.

My sister in law, Alice told me just to keep going, that Bro could wait a few damn minutes... that he was safe in his crib. We tried that, but my damn boobs disagreed. Brody's screams went an octave higher, and just like magic, my tits became a fucking milk fountain. Talk about killing the mood.

On the weekends we tried nap times, but Brody knew exactly when to wake up. Every. Single. Time.

After a further six weeks, I guess we started to give up. I wasn't really in the right place to leave Bro over night so that we could get away. He wasn't taking to a bottle very well. I'd tried a couple of different brands of formula, even purchased a super amazing electric pump, but Brody wasn't giving in. Nope, he was a baby of the boob. So in all honesty, it wasn't as though we could just leave him with someone and have a weekend away.

Eventually the attempts at the sexin' disappeared completely and the two of us would just fall into our bed – usually at different times because the whole air between us was weird. We started bickering about the silliest of things. We became distant with each other.

I hated every single moment of it. I became paranoid that Edward no longer wanted me anymore – he'd stopped trying, and I felt so undesirable. Of course, deep down I knew that it wasn't his fault. I'd read that once couples find themselves miles apart after the birth of a baby.

It's such a life changing experience, sometimes the father can feel himself pushed out by the new arrival, especially if the mother is nursing...

Not nursing wasn't an option. Kid had to eat. I thought that perhaps when he started weaning, we could get everything back on track. Could we honestly wait another three months?

The feeling of being epically horny, and both physically and mentally exhausted at the same time was utterly confusing. I couldn't stay awake during the evening as my body was working on overtime to make up for the lost sleep when Brody awoke during the night.

Things were still okay... Edward didn't appear to resent Bro at all. He was still an amazing, doting daddy and would even get up in the night and bring him into our bed so that I could nurse without having to get up. He seemed to understand that I was tired – still I felt bad as I knew that we needed to be more for each other than just Brody's parents. I desperately needed my husband back. I missed him every second of the day when he was at work.

Alice and my best friend Rose invited themselves over and came armed with chocolate cake, I knew something was up as soon as they breezed into my living room.

"What gives, Bella?" Rosalie demanded, her hands on her hips.

"Rose, stop, remember what we talked about?" my sister in law chastised. Rosalie rolled her eyes and sunk back into my couch, shrugging a shoulder.

I took a breath, it seemed as though this was a planned intervention.

"Coffee?" I offered.

"Later, Alice murmured as she sat on the arm of the love seat beside me. She patted my thigh gently. "We need to talk to you first. Just hear me out, okay?"

I didn't like where this was going. "O...kay, talk," I leaned back and waited.

Alice looked uncomfortable but continued none the less. "Listen... Jazz said...well, he is worried about you and Edward. And now I am too. Edward happened to mention to Jasper that things have not been great between you lately?"

I blanched; my heart beating a mile a minute as my mouth dried out, and I found myself lost for words. "I...I don't know what you're talking about! Everything is fine, never better in fact."

Rose rolled her eyes again and leaned forward. "Bella, you are a terrible liar. It's written all over your face. And we know you. You haven't been laid since Bro was born."

"You don't know what you're talking about-" I began to protest, but Rose cut me off sharply.

"Uh ah, we know you better than anyone and we are on good authority... You know we tried to disagree at first and we thought that Edward was just being a selfish prick and expecting more from you... But it's amazing what a few bottles of beer and a few Jack and cokes will do. He told us everything, Bells. And we want to help you. And. You. Will. Let. Us."

I didn't know what to say... at first I was angry at them for poking their noses in, but the compassionate look on Alice's face spoke a thousand words. Edward had sought help. Perhaps unknowingly, but he had.

Three hours, and two bottles of Pinot Grigio later, the plan was in motion. When I say two bottles, Alice and Rose consumed almost two bottles whilst I settled for a glass and a half – even that was chased down with a couple of diet cokes.

Two days later...

Saturday finally arrived. Edward knew that we were going to be visiting Emmett and Rosalie's place with Alice and Jazz for the evening, and that we'd be staying over, but that was all he knew. What he didn't know was the big plan of seduction.

It was going to be strange... seducing my husband in my best friends' guest bedroom. Especially with them all staying in the house. The plan was: Intimate dinner party and catch up, copious amounts of wine (well, copious for them, I still had to take care because of nursing,) and a sleepover so nobody had to drive or rely on cabs.

Rose was like a fucking Stepford Wife when it came to entertaining. I just knew everything would be perfect.

The girls were going to listen out for Brody for the evening, and I'd still be within spitting distance should he demand the Milk Bar to open. The girls figured that if he woke at a bad time, they could at least keep him entertained for an hour or so.

I knew if the plan worked, I would be eternally grateful to my friends for this. Even though I was ever so slightly squicked out about them probably being able to hear us going at it. But damnit, I was desperate. I wanted and needed my husband back. It seemed like it was the last chance we were going to get to change our lives for the better.

Jasper was in on the plan as well, but only on a need to know basis according to Alice. We had decided to leave Emmett out of it so that he didn't give the game away to Edward. Also he was quite fond of teasing, and we'd never hear the end of this. So yes, he was kept entirely in the dark.

So I secretly packed for the two of us – separate overnight bags in case Edward was tempted to snoop. Alice had foreseen that it would be a good idea to keep the special things, aka my latest purchases from Victoria's Secret. I'd also been able to easily hide the something else I'd gotten earlier in the week. I wondered how Edward would take it, but I was certain he'd like it at least.

Edward seemed to be looking forward to a night in with our closest friends and his sister. He commented on how it had been such a long time since we'd all last been together as grownups – and of course he was right. The last time was when I was about a half way through my pregnancy. It was then I also realised that I had been distancing myself not just from my husband, but from them too.

I was excited as well...and nervous. I felt like a virgin on prom night as I locked myself in the bathroom and attacked myself all over with the razor. I wished that Edward would pop his head around the shower door like he used to and take me from behind. He remained downstairs the whole while though, as I didn't even hear the floorboards creak outside of the room. I'd even left the door ajar in case he was to be tempted. We'd really grown apart.

Dinner was fantastic and the wine flowed freely. Rose had seriously outdone herself. Brody stayed awake staring at me from his little seat on the floor as we ate and giving me a knowing look. He knew something was up. I just hoped he'd play along and give me at least thirty minutes.

We retired to the living room to talk once we'd finished, and surprised Edward by leaving Brody in his seat and curling up alongside him. He smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders and let me snuggle.

An hour or so later and Brody, full from his supposed last feed of the night was snoring gently in my arms. The rest of the plan was down to Rose, Alice and Jasper.

"Hey, Bella, you know I set the travel crib up for you in the second bedroom, feel free to go put him down... I took the liberty of switching on the monitor as well so we will be able to hear him." Rosalie grinned at me and I smiled in return.

"Thanks Rose, I think I'll go do that now. He seems settled enough... and you know what," I feigned a yawn," do you mind if I go to bed myself? Make the most of him having a sleep? I've not had all that much this week?"

Alice, ever the perfect little actress looked at me sympathetically. "Oh gee, Bella, we understand... hey, why don't you just leave the monitor here and we will listen out for Bro for you so you can sleep?"

I looked at Edward who was staring into his wine glass. He looked a little upset. "I don't know, guys. I don't want to put that on you. Maybe I'll just stay up with you after all?"

"We wouldn't want you to be exhausted, Bella," Jasper piped up. "we all know you're tired. It can't be easy."

"Yeah, go ahead Bella," Rose smiled. "Go. We'll still be here in the morning."

The plan was in motion. Finally. Edward didn't look at me, so I ran my fingers lightly through his hair. "You don't mind?" he just looked up at me and shrugged. He smiled a little, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah, okay." He replied.

I bid goodnight and thanks to the others, and carefully stood up with Brody. Fighting back tears I climbed the two flights of stairs and put our son down to bed. He didn't make a sound as I tucked him into the little portable crib. I made sure the monitor was switched on correctly and crept out of the room and pulled the door shut behind me.

If all went according to plan, I had thirty minutes before Edward would come up – but judging by his reaction to my wanting to go to bed downstairs, I was starting to doubt if that would even happen. Even with the peer pressure of his sister, brother in law and our best friends, he could still be a stubborn bastard.

Once in the guest room, I gasped. Rose and Alice were amazing. Candles were scattered over surfaces, some incense was already burning. The en-suite bathroom was stocked with fresh towels and various new bottles of oils, lotions and bubble baths. My girls had really gone all out for me.

I quickly cleaned myself up and grabbed the VS bag out of the bottom of the dresser, just where Rose had told me it would be. I put the dark blue bra and boy short set on and examined myself in the mirror. I still looked like me, just slightly curvier. My stomach was still pudgy from Brody, and of course my boobs were huge compared to what they used to be... but it wasn't terrible. I had been one of those seriously lucky women who managed to somehow forgo getting stretch marks. Something about good elasticity in the skin. I looked womanly. Tired, but feminine.

Back in the bedroom I walked over to the bed and sat awkwardly on the side... how would I sit or lie when he came in? On top of the sheets, or under?

After lighting all of the candles set out across the room and setting my iPod in the dock and selecting a playlist, I settled for on top of the sheets, on my stomach. I pulled my Kindle out of the bag and started to read to distract myself.

I jumped when I heard the door creek open, but I didn't turn around to face him.

"Y...you're still up?" He asked - his voice deeper than usual.

"I was waiting for you," I whispered.

"I can see that... who... did they?"

I nodded and smiled. "It seems there was some sort of an intervention. Alice helped. We clearly needed it. They admitted that they got you drunk and you spoke about how you were feeling. Edward, I'm so sorry. I never meant for it to get as far as that. I hate the fact that we have drifted so far apart. I want you so much, but we never seem to have time for us anymore."

The bed dipped beside me as he sat down and his hand trailed down my spine which made me break out in goose bumps immediately.

"We are both to blame... we haven't been trying hard enough. It's so difficult, but I'm going to make an effort. And I'm sorry you had to find out my feelings through our friends and... my sister. That's not humiliating at all..." he chuckled darkly.

I shook my head quickly and rolled onto my side as I gazed up at him. "No, I needed to know that you were hurting too. I was too wrapped up in myself and my depression. I am sorry you felt pushed out."

Edward kicked off his shoes and lay down across the mattress next to me. His left hand cupped the back of my neck and tangled in my hair. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. "I didn't feel pushed out; I just didn't know how to handle everything. I love you so damn much."

"I love you too," I rasped, "things are so different now, but it doesn't change how I feel. We just need to work on this. I need you so much. And I need this." I waved a hand between the two of us.

Edward nodded, smiling as he leaned forward and rested his forehead on mine. He took a long breath in and his eyes met mine. They were dark and hooded. "You are so beautiful, lie down for me, let me see you properly."

I inhaled sharply at his instructions and rolled over onto my back, my thighs pressed tightly together. I broke out in goose bumps as his eyes raked over my body. He began at my painted toenails and worked his way up. When he reached my chest he stopped and tapped a finger gently on my arm.

He'd discovered his gift.

"It's yours... open it." I instructed as his finger traced over the lightly taped down gauze.

Of course, he knew what the gauze was used for. He knew that there was something very permanent etched on my ribcage just a few inches below my heart. I rested my hands at the back of his head as his fingers carefully and very gently peeled away the tape. He lifted the bandage so slowly that I thought I was going to combust.

He was silent for a moment. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he blinked rapidly and shook his head. I started to worry that he didn't like it.

"I wasn't expecting that," he finally whispered. He didn't look at me and I felt my eyes well up with tears.

"I'm sorry –"I began.

"What?" He cut me off, "Why in the hell are you sorry? This is amazing... beautiful in fact. I never would have expected you to... you got inked for me, and better still you got me on you."

I finally looked at him as his index finger trailed lightly across the italic lettering of both his name and his sons.

"You like it?"

"I love it. I love you, Bella, you're incredible." He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the words, and then moved upwards and pressed one over my heart. "And, it appears that the intervention worked. We're alone." He smirked. "We know some awesome people."

"That we do," I gigged as Edward pushed himself up and onto his elbows and hovered over me.

"We'll have to be quiet though... do you think you can do that, Mrs Cullen?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Edward, I think they know what we're going to be up to... they did all of this."

"True, but baby, I don't want anyone but me to hear you when you come... and the thought of my friends and sister hearing... it is sort of a passion killer. And that we don't want. So can you be quiet?" He asked as he started placing kisses to my cheeks and forehead.

"I'll try, but I can't promise anything. I'm so fucking horny right now that I think I'm going to explode if you don't touch me soon."

His lips were suddenly on mine. They were soft at first but our quickly progressed, his tongue lapped across my lips and begged for entry. I gladly give it up and he began kissing me like it was both our first and last time together. It felt hungry and needy. It wasn't long before my fingers began to claw at his shirt, pulling it out of his pants. His hands ghosted down my arms and across my ribs, before cupping my breasts gently. He knew that they were tender – his kindness and gentleness touched me.

I pushed him back and he got onto his knees and pulled me into his arms. My thighs rested on either side of his as I made quick work of his shirt buttons and pushed the offending article of clothing off his shoulders. He took care of his belt buckle and fly. He was already hard and throbbing between us, still covered, but just the feel of him made my mouth water. How the hell did we go this long without being together?

"You're gorgeous. Baby, you look utterly incredible." He whispered, sounding as though he were in awe as his eyes raked over me. I blushed, gazing down, but his fingers tilted my chin up so that I was looking at him. "You are. All of you. When you were carrying our son, I don't think you quite understand what it did to me. Seeing you glow. Your body protected our child and that is amazing. You are simply stunning."

He laid us back down and then rolled over, shedding his pants and boxers. He was back on me quickly and I relished in the length of his hard body pressed deliciously onto mine. I gasped as his fingers lightly traced over my panties, which were soaked in anticipation. He removed them quickly and cupped my sex which caused me to moan loudly.

"Shhhhh, baby, I want to make you feel good, but you need to be quiet," I bit my lip and exhaled. "That's a good girl," he whispered as he tugged my panties down slowly. "You're so wet. Is this all for me?"

I nodded and my teeth once again clamped down on my lower lip. His dirty talking used to drive me to the brink. I wanted to cry out and only just managed to stifle a whimper.

He cupped my bare sex, sliding his fingers gently against my glistening folds, coating himself in my arousal. He slipped a digit into me and groaned. "You're still tight around me; I can't wait until I get my cock inside you again."

"Then fucking shut up and do it, I need you inside me, Edward. Please don't tease me anymore. Please..." I wasn't above begging.

He didn't need telling twice. I sighed in happiness as he slid home for the first time in months. He took it slowly, allowing me get used to his length, and when he was sheathed entirely, he stilled and looked into my eyes. "I'd forgotten how amazing you feel." He murmured. He kissed me and began to move inside me.

He was slow, steady and so gentle. The more he moved within me, the wetter I got, and the more worked up. I needed more and I could tell he was holding back on me. I gripped his hips tightly, bucking my own hips, meeting his forcefully. The look in his eyes changed from tender to wanton in a split second and I swear he growled as his hold on my waist and thigh tightened as he thrust back into me harder.

"Ohhhh, Edward, plllllleeeaaasseee!" I moaned quietly. He pressed wet kisses to my neck as he continued to thrust. We met each other's movements with precision and there was no sound to be heard other than our breathy moans and the sounds of our skin slapping together.

"Oh, God, Bella. I'm so close. I'm sorry baby, I'm not going to last much longer," my husband panted as he snuck a hand between us and found my clit, pinching down gently.

"Jesus, holy fuck!" I cried out. "Me either... just keep doing... shit!" I cursed as he pinched me again, only harder. I came undone around him. I'd not even felt the build up as I exploded, my walls clamping down around his cock and milking him. Two, hard thrusts later and a bite to my collarbone, Edward followed and pulsed inside of me before collapsing on top of me with his head buried in the crook of my neck.

"Wow," he panted after a few moments. "What was that?"

My fingers threaded into his hair and scratched his scalp. "I think that was us reconnecting." I whispered, with the biggest, shit eating grin on my face. "We need to do that again... and soon. Now that we know we have the perfect in house babysitters."

"Oh yes, definitely." Edward agreed as he rolled off me and pulled me back into his arms, wrapping us in the creased covers. "Now you need to sleep. I'll still be here when you wake up."

And he was. Every single day there after. Sure, it was hard work balancing my love life with my husband, and taking care of our demanding child, but we managed it.

All thanks to an intervention from our nearest and dearest. We couldn't thank them enough.

Thanks for reading, I hope CharTwilightMom enjoyed it. I had a blast. Thanks also to VampMama for running FAGE, this was my first time and I'll be back next time.