This is a test to see if I still have the capabilities of writing. Please review and let me know how this is and if I still can write at all.

Pain pulsated out from my head as I extended my wings out to my sides. Belly up, I coughed violently clearing my throat of the debris and blood that choked my airway. My eyes rolled around under my eye lids as I wiped the grime out with my tips of my wings. My body, now crumpled and ruined, protested against every command my brain sent forth to encourage movement. Upon opening my eyes, the dark forest canopy above taunted me as the looming night engulfed me.

Consciousness once again restored to me, my mind raced a thousand miles an hour. "Wh- What happened?" was the overlying topic my mind was focused on before a single memory caught my attention. Shudders ran coarsely through my body as I struggled to sit up right, but to no avail.

A new sense of panic crept over my being, "Where… Where is she?"

Half propping myself up with my right wing, I scanned the surrounding area furiously.

"No, no, no!" I screamed in my head as I swiveled my gaze in an almost three-sixty degree motion. Glimpses and images flashed in my mind's eye as I slowly put the pieces together.

We… We were attacked.

Feathers and crumpled plumage lay scattered in the area around me coupled with bits and splashes of blood. Examining the feathers closely I noticed their familiar hues could only belong to one person.

Testing my legs again, I tried to stand up, but a crippling pain within my chest restricted my movement and sent me down on my back again. Rattling my head in an attempt to cope with the pain I slowly opened my eyes again from where I clenched them tight in response to the pain. Blood coated my plumage in clumps all over my chest down towards a large gash in my thigh right before my talons.

Barring my beak, I closed my eyes again as another surge of pain echoed through my head, sending off a chain reaction of more aches from my chest down to my mangled leg.

The important bird at hand still never left my head...

Leaning up again, I scanned my surroundings again. The feathers around me trailed off a ways before disappearing behind a bush. I laid my head back down again, convulsing to the side once before I looked back up at the trail.

Struggling to let out a pent up breath, I gritted my beak before decided on the next course of action.

The trail is all I have to go off of now, and I need to find her…

Slowly, I reached out with my right wing, attempting to pull myself along the floor of the jungle. After struggling to pull myself for some time, I deemed the method fruitless, expending too much energy and achieving absolutely no results.

Rolling over to my stomach, I pushed myself up with my wings and clawed at the ground with my good leg until I managed to get a favorable position to push myself up. Hobbling up right, I refocused my head and waited for my eyes to level out. Swaying back and forth my vision blurred several times as I went light-headed and nearly collapsed again.

Releasing another slew of rough coughs, I steadied myself and reached out to take my first step. Upon carefully testing, I put as minimal weight as I could on my bad leg, hobbling quickly forward and landing on my good leg again as pain exploded from my bad leg.

Letting out a sigh of relief, I quickly looked up again at the trail of feathers ahead.

Jewel, please be ok…

I began my short journey, hobbling in short increments as I painstakingly walked forward at a snail's pace. My emotions were nonexistent as my mind focused on my goal: Locating my mate.

As I came upon the bush, I leaned against the small branches of the bush for a short rest before heaving my weight up again and beginning the meticulously painful process of walking that I was reduced too.

I didn't dare try my wings to move about, they were locked closed from the pain I was enduring and something was terribly wrong with my right wing, to which I didn't have time to pay any attention to diagnose it.

As I passed the first chain of bushes I followed the crumpled blue feathers all the way until I reached a familiar clearing. To my relief and disgust, a small blue figure lay piled up in the middle of the clearing.

My search had ended, but my worries were just beginning.

"Jewel?" I called out dumbly as I stumbled down to the ground again. "Jewel…"

I coughed out another glop of blood, closing my eyes at the intensity of pain that surged from the convulsion. As the pain ebbed down, a lump of despair remained in my heart as I looked back up at my mate. I had to make sure she was ok.

I forced myself back on my talons, leaning heavily on my good leg. Stumbling forward a few feet, I pushed and pushed myself to close the distance between me and my mate.

Jewel… Please be ok! My heart cried out as if it was trying to reach out and grab her to aide her.

Upon reaching my mate I dropped down to my left side, completely exhausted and numb from the pain that now engulfed my entire body.

Jewel's once luscious plumage was now dim and torn up. Gaps and gashes in her feathers scattered her torn and ravaged body. Glimpses of our attack filled my brain again as I saw pictures of the terrible eagles that attacked us. I couldn't picture it all together, but one last horrifying image of Jewel getting struck filled my head and destroyed the barrier holding back my emotions.

I cried, unlike I have ever cried before as I lifted up my weak wing and placed it over her slowly. Her face as peaceful as it usually is when she is asleep.

Her body looked so damaged and I kicked myself for not being able to protect her, yet my mind still couldn't wrap around the horrific event that had transpired. My breathing increased and the flow of tears remained gushing from my eyes.

"Jewel…"

My heart kept protesting against my body, beating heavier and heavier as I studied her unchanging face. It was as if my heart was trying to break out of its encasement inside me and save Jewel from her distressed state, to heal her wounds and keep her safe from the darkness of the forest at night.

"Jewel? Wake up… Please, we need… to find... some shelter." I croaked, shaking her like I did every morning when she overslept.

Wiping my eyes I glanced down at her mid abdomen where I witnessed her take a deadly blow. Blood soaked the feathers around the marred flesh and clumps of dried blood stuck to the tips of her once perfect plumage.

"Jewel, c'mon…" I said shaking her again, this time with more urgency, "Jewel we have to… get you to… Tulio."

Yet no matter how much I prodded and shook her body, she remained displaced away from the conscious world.

Terror and dread filled my heart as I started to panic.

"Jewel? Jewel! Wake up!"

I broke down and pulled myself closer to her, burying my head in her chest. My bad leg's condition deteriorating from blood loss, I let it lay limp, using my wings to hold my poor, dear mate.

Reality came and smacked me in the face, as the finality of the situation and her life becoming blatantly obvious. My tears intensified and came in broken convulsions as my chest heaved under the emotional stress. My heart beat against my chest, reaching out desperately desiring to bring Jewel back.

Still being taunted by the presence of her body, her smells, and he beautiful, yet crumpled feathers, I cried out to her one last time in a wordless moan as the emotional torrent ripped me apart inside.

It was over for her… No matter how much I so desperately wished, there was absolutely no way I could will her back to life. She was dead, and nothing I could do would ever change that. The breath of life literally was stripped from her lungs as the very fluid that fueled her existence stained the ground, her chest, and now mine as I compressed our bodies, burying my head and crying unlike how I've ever cried before.

Coupled with her loss, the pain of not knowing what exactly happened tore into my heart as well. What could I have done to save her? What could I have done?

I didn't care that I was bleeding or hurting I just wanted my Jewel to wake up, yet that impossibility overshadowed my own fate, to which I could care less.

My head throbbed and swirled, as I went light-headed again, an obvious symptom of my own blood loss, but I didn't care.

What was my life without her there? What purpose would I have without my Jewel, my love, my precious, precious mate…

But… Then again, what was the purpose of life in the first place? What goal or achievable outcome was there to aim for in life? To continue the species? What importance would that serve in the grand scheme of things?

What was life really? For what purpose do things happen?

From what point were things lined up to have such a gruesome outcome? How far back would I have to go to change where I am at this moment? Where did I go wrong?

Millions more questions raced through my head, by at the forefront "WHY" was the biggest thing clawing around in my head. Why did things have to end up like this?

There is, I conclude, no purpose or whim or reason as to why things occur, for there is no meaning in life in the first place…

How different would the world be with or without me and my mate tomorrow? Our existence was meaningless anyways, fitting it was cut short I suppose…

Life, really, has no reason. No meaning or motive, only direction. The direction individuals put on it, for themselves and the direction others force upon each other.

Why then… Why do I miss her, if life itself has no meaning.

Why does my heart yearn to hold her again, to cuddle deep in her warmth and to fly with her in the glorious skies of Rio once again.

Why do I miss her?

Opening my eyes from what seemed an eternity of having them closed I look at her face again, as peaceful as ever.

"Jewel…" I said one final time, caressing her face with the tip of my primary feather on my wing.

I guess, now… Now I'll rest here with you… I'd have it no other way.

I watched you change, from the lonely outcasted bird looking for someone… I watched you change for me, from the love we shared, the experiences we held together…

I watched you change to the majestic beauty you were before this terrible demise..

Another wave of light-headedness hit me as I fell back, landing belly up. My breathing slowed and the edges of my vision blurred, and began to slowly fade.

My lower body had become completely numb, and I began to lose control of my bodily functions. My consciousness retreated deep within as I stared up into the dark canopy above.

The universe surrounded me, collapsing down awaiting my departure from this earth. I felt numb, so completely numb and cold.

My emotions shriveled up and I focused up on the swaying canopy above, waving goodbye in the shallow breeze.

Why… Why do I miss her so much? Could… It be… Love?

Was that… The answer the… Whole… Time?

With the last ounce of energy, I tilted my head to catch one last glimpse of my mate.

Goodbye… Jewel.

As the first glimpses of light peaked through the upper canopy, the sun greeted my dreary, damp eyes with its brilliance.

Confused, I slowly looked around and found familiar surroundings… I was in my hollow.

Confusion still clouding any rational thought, I perked up from my perch only to be restricted by a warm body resting on top of mine. A blue mass of beautiful, perfect plumage laid leaning on my shoulders with wings holding me tight.

"Wha- what?" I asked still completely baffled.

"Good morning, Blu." I heard a voice of sweet honey call out. Giant blue sapphire eyes greeted me, giving me a loving stare.

"Je-Jewel?" I asked out shivering for an unknown reason

"Yes Blu?"

Unbelievable joy swept over me in that very instant, relieving all worries, all stress, all doubt, and all fear.

I reached out and grabbed my mate with my wings, bear hugging her with the most intensity I ever showed to her. My heart jumped for joy, and relief overflowed my senses.

Her alluring scent filled my nostrils as I buried my face into her chest and cried, heaving my chest deeply as I exploded all of my emotions out in tears.

At first, she was taken aback. Yet, my perfect mate embraced me as much as I did her, waiting patiently for an answer yet accepting my emotional explosion.

She rubbed my back with her wings comfortingly and in that moment I lost myself in sheer bliss.

"Jewel… I dreamed that… I lost you." I wept out in broken fragments as my tears flooded out of my eyes.

"It's ok Blu, I'm here."

"I dreamed that… I lost you… and that… I also died… I gave up on… Life, hope… Oh, how I had no hope… I can't live without you… Jewel."

"Blu, I'm here…" She repeated lovingly and soothingly as she rubbed my back with her wing, comforting me much like a mother does. I was openly grateful for her acceptance of me.

"I didn't realize how much I needed you… Until now." I said, pulling myself away from her and looking her deep within her sapphire gems.

"Blu, I'll never leave you. I need you as much as you need me. We'll never be separated." She smiled back at me, holding my wings in hers, "I love you."

"I love you too, Jewel." I repeated back, "I never meant it more, and I'll never take that fact back."

Life has a reason. It has a determinable reason and purpose, one that individuals must define for themselves. The purpose of life, I figured, is for the discerning of the individual experiencing it.

My reason for living, is my love. Without her, Life has no meaning.

She is my meaning of life.

I'd appreciate reviews. Thanks guys,

Sorry I've been away, haven't been myself lately. This isn't me coming back, this is me testing the waters. Please let me know what you think if anyone out there still reads what I put out.