Author's Notes: In this story, Finn is 15. Pen Ward has said he's 14, and a lot of time has passed on the show since then (FOUR MONTHS in "All The Little People" alone!). I hope this makes my story a liiiiittle bit less creepy. Lady Rainicorn's dialogue is abstracted out because I don't speak Korean and don't want to insult anybody who does with Google Translate mishmash.

Whatever it Takes

An Adventure Time fanfic by Tim333

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Chapter 1: Like a Child

Finn the Human opened his eyes and saw the hospital ceiling.

"Ahh! What? What's going on?"

Dr. Ice Cream entered his field of view. "Oh good, you're awake."

"Dr. Ice Cream? How long have I been out? Last thing I remember I was with Flame Princess and things got, um... really hot... uh, that is, I mean-" He touched his face and recoiled in pain. "Youch!"

"It's okay, I know what you mean. You've sustained moderate burns to your face and arms. You must have passed out from shock. Your fiery friend brought you back to Candy Kingdom."

Finn sat up. "Flame Princess! Where is she?"

"Er... We really didn't think it was a good idea to let a being of living flame into the hospital, especially since I could melt. She did leave you this card, though."

She handed Finn a chunk of wood. Roughly charred into it were the words "Oops! Get well soon! - FP"

Finn smiled. "Aww. That was nice of her."

The doctor turned to the door. "He's up!"

Shortly thereafter, Jake the Dog and Princess Bubblegum rushed into the room. They talked over one another in their urgency to greet Finn.

"Oh Finn, thank Glob you're okay!" said the Princess.

"Hey, Bro, you doin' all right?" asked the dog.

"Hey guys. Things got a little steamy and I guess I fainted like some kind of baby who faints all the time. Pretty embarrassing."

"Whoa, dude, she really baked your toast," said Jake. "Do you want me to go get some of that magical healing cyclops goop we saved?"

Finn appraised himself in the reflective surface of the hospital bed. "Nah, man. We've got to save that junk for stuff that won't heal. I'll be - ouch - fine."

"Finn," said Princess Bubblegum, "I'm sorry to spring it on you at a time like this, but we've really got to talk about something."

"What's up, Peebles?"

The Princess sighed heavily and looked away. After a pause, she looked back to Finn and spoke. "You've got to stop seeing Flame Princess."

Finn almost leapt out of bed. "WHAT? Not this drizz again! We've been over this, Princess!"

Bubblegum wrung her hands. "Finn, I'm sorry, but it's not what you think. Did Jake tell you about her unstable elemental matrix?"

"Yeah, but that's all fixed now!"

"Oh, Finn... I thought so too. But your condition, and the readings I took from her when she came to Candy Kingdom... The stability she showed was just a temporary dip in an overall trend of increasing entropy. By having a romantic relationship with her, you're putting not just yourself, but all of Ooo in danger!"

The teenage hero's face contorted in frustration. "No, you're wrong! We'll be more careful! We can keep it under control!"

"Finn, if it were under control, would this have happened? Your burns aren't from simple contact, they're the result of a huge burst!"

"I can take care of myself! You just want to control everything!"

The Princess was taken aback. "Wh-what?"

"I'm tired of you treating me like a child. I'm not anymore, Princess. I've been through more stuff than most adults!"

Reluctantly, Jake spoke up. "Euhhhh... Listen, bro, I think she might have a-"

But Finn was too upset to stop. "It's not fair! You've got no idea what it's like being me. You're surrounded by all your loyal candy subjects, but I'm pretty much the last human! There's hardly anybody who even looks like me! You don't know what it's like to be so lonely. After all I've done for Ooo, why don't I get to be happy?"

Finn breathed in and out sharply. Everyone was stunned into silence - the happy-go-lucky adventurer almost never opened up about the solitude of his humanity.

The Princess stepped calmly toward the window and stared into the distance. To only herself, she whispered, "Whatever it takes..."

She turned to Finn. "You're right, Finn. I was wrong to treat you like a child."

"Huh?" He hadn't expected to be taken seriously.

"If it seems like I'm talking down to you, it's because there's so much pressure on me. They all depend on me. Not just the candy citizens - I'm one of the most influential monarchs in the land."

She placed her hand on his. "But you feel the same pressure, don't you? I've allowed myself to depend upon you and Jake for so much. It's because I trust you completely. I feel like I know you better than any of my subjects."

Princess Bubblegum looked deep into Finn's eyes, which twinkled and blurred in a confused tangle of emotions. "You're wrong about one thing, though," she continued, "I know all about being lonely. To all of them, I'm the voice of authority or the one who fixes everything, making them feel safe. I love my subjects, yes, but I've never had time for any personal relationships. Sometimes I feel all alone. It's totally lame juice." Her eyes opened wide. "Heavy weighs the crown."

"It's a tiara," said Jake, "and it looks pretty light to me."

She smiled softly. "You know what I mean, silly. But Finn... I'm starting to realize that when you're around I don't feel like that. I get this warm bubbly feeling and I always want to smile. I'm so sorry things can't work with you and Flame Princess, but... maybe you don't have to be alone."

Finn's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about, Princess?"

Slowly, she reached up and pulled off his hat. To avoid causing further pain from his wounds, she very tenderly placed her soft pink hand upon his cheek, then leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. Jake slapped his hands to his cheeks in shock, dragging them down like pancake batter.

When Bubblegum pulled away, Finn's voice was strangled by confusion. "P-Princess?"

Jake grabbed the Princess roughly by the arm. "'Scuse me bro, PB and I have gotta go have boring grown up talk stuff. Be right back okay see ya!" He dragged her out the door and down the hall. To make sure Finn wouldn't follow them, he took her outside and stretched them up onto the roof. Then he said, "Just what in the blooping heck do you think you're doing, lady?"

Bubblegum brushed her hair away from her eyes. Her expression was completely serious. "Jake. Please listen to me."

"Uh uh! You're playing weird head games with my homie, and I don't like it!"

"Jake, you have to think hard about this. You know Finn can't keep seeing Flame Princess. It's not safe for anybody."

Jake pouted. He didn't want to admit it, but there was no way around it. "Well, yeah, okay. But that doesn't mean-"

"And you know Finn! Loneliness drives him crazy!" She clutched her fingers upward and shook them to illustrate her point. "Even if I forbid him, even if YOU forbid him, we can't trust him to stay away from her!"

"You... you don't know that." He didn't sound confident.

"I know he's been crazy about me for years. If he had me, he wouldn't go after-"

"Geez, Princess, do you even listen to yourself? Everything's a means to an end with you! He's only 15 years old and you're gonna mess him up! You're gonna mess up his heart guts and make all his emotional glands all twisted and gunked up and they won't work right anymore!" Jake stretched up until he was taller than the Princess. "You can't do this! I won't let you!"

Bubblegum finally lost her cool. "You will not tell me what I can't do!" she snapped. "I will do ANYTHING to protect my Kingdom and this land! It is my duty! You think you can push me around 'cause I look cute and sweet? Do you have any idea what I'm capable of? I could have one or both of them imprisoned! I could have Flame Princess snuffed out! I could even control Finn's very mind with the power of science!"

Jake's head retreated into his body. "Eeeep!" The Princess suddenly seemed a mile tall.

However, she then slumped forward and seemed near tears. "But I'm not a monster, Jake! I care about Finn and I don't want him to be unhappy! This is the only way I can ensure everyone's safety without doing something terrible. And I know lying would be unfair, but I'm not lying about my affection for Finn! Okay, so I never thought about him like that before, but I can learn to work around the age difference. Don't you see? This way it works out for everybody."

Jake regained some of his nerve. "Everybody except Flame Princess."

Bubblegum waved a hand dismissively. "Tch. She's evil anyway. I've seen her aura."

"I'm not so sure you're good either. You ever turn that aura viewer on yourself?"

She was taken aback. "I'm not evil!"

"Never said you were evil. Just not good."

Jake looked away. The Princess stared at the ground and rubbed her shoulder. Harsh words and hurt feelings infused the air with the stench of regret.

Bubblegum sighed. "Please don't tell him about this, Jake," she implored.

Jake crossed his arms. "No way man. I'm not down with this manipulative donk."

"If you won't listen to me..." She whistled sharply. Soon, Lady Rainicorn was at her side. Anyone who knew the princess would recognize the words she spoke as meaning "At your service, my Lady."

Jake's eyes widened. "Lady? You're on her side?"

At first, Lady spoke somewhat sharply with a glance at Bubblegum, who looked a bit guilty. But then she spoke softly to Jake and coiled her long flank around to rub the spot where their Rainipuppies gestated, soon to be born.

Jake's lip and jowls trembled, then he cast his glance downward. "I guess you're right, baby. Nnnnngh... Okay. Okay, I won't tell Finn. But you better treat him right, Princess!"

Bubblegum smiled a tired smile, overcome by relief. "I will, Jake. Sorry for getting all... blehhh on you back there," she said, sticking out her tounge and waving her arms around.

"Ehhh, it's cool. I'm kinda used to you talking like that when you get all mad sciency anyway."