HI! I AM BACK, SORRY FOR LONG DELAY, DIDN'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO GO ABOUT WRITING THIS CHAPTER! MY WRITING MIGHT BE A BIT SHAKY SO PLEASE DON'T BE TOO HARD ON ME OK? ALSO, I AM BORED SO POST AN OC IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT AND I MIGHT USE IN ANOTHER FANFIC ENJOY!

Chapter 7: Answers at Last?

Liz felt the covers before she felt anything, the snug pressure of the blankets surrounding her, making her crave to go back to the blissful darkness of sleep. Then, the nagging little sensation in the back of her head began, like a pinprick, and it didn't even take a second before the memories of last night came flooding back like a windstorm. Liz realized with a start that she could not remember anything after going into Kid's room, her insides clenching into a massive clump and dropping into the farthest part of her. She desperately tried to remember going back to her room, leaving Kid afterwards, but that memory didn't come. She slowly realized whose bed she had fallen asleep in, shooting up like a springboard with horror coursing through her veins. Light had come in from the crack in the door she had left open, and in the light, she saw the young death god sleeping soundly beside her. Liz's head started to ache with anxiety and panic. What would he do if he saw her here? Would he be angry? Would he kick her out? Did he even remember the events of last night? Panicked thoughts raced through her mind like a whirlwind, spinning everything out of control, and she had to gradually force herself to calm down, shoving the choking panic back down her throat. Relax; he won't be angry, Kid isn't that kind of person… at worst, he'll just ignore it. He'll pretend it didn't happen- Her thoughts flashed to that horrible blank mask he put on, and she gritted her teeth. No, that was not going to happen. She knew how fragile he was now, and he needed help, whether he wanted it or not. That night, she had realized who he was, what he was, and she was not going to let that slip away again. Elizabeth Thompson had been given another chance; she was going to use it to help them both. Commanding herself to be unperturbed, she examined him, trying to find evidence of stress, of nightmares, anything that evidenced he had had a stressful night. She felt herself relaxing as she searched his face; it was smooth, relaxed, completely tranquil as if last night's events never happened. His multi-colored hair was scattered across the pillow, just the position she had left him, and Liz felt sweet relief bubbling up inside her chest; Kid had slept like a log. She nearly chuckled; some of the hair was in his face, giving him an even younger look that the sleep already gave him. She felt something unfamiliar well up in her, and she didn't even realize her hand had subconsciously reached out to brush some of the hair back until it had just touched his forehead. Alarmed, she snatched back the offending limp, and warmth surged into her face. No. Elizabeth, you are NOT going down that road. You will be, at most, friends. Good friends. It's not like… I don't… She cut off the steadily growing stream of embarrassing thoughts, focusing on the matter at hand, ignoring the sensation that someone had lighten a match under her face. She was Elizabeth Thompson, not some hopeless romantic girl who swooned over boys.

"A boy who saved you and your sister, gave you a beautiful place to live, made your sister happier than she's every been in her life, and forgave you when you nearly killed him."

A smug little voice in the back of her head snickered. She decided not to justify it with an answer. Setting her teeth, and looking at Kid the way she did with Patty when she was sick, she decided it would be best to let him sleep, as long at he didn't start having visible nightmares. At the same time, she had a feeling leaving him alone would not be the best of ideas, her thoughts flashing back to last night. No, definitely not a good idea. She sighed inwardly at the only logical option: she'd have to sit here until he woke up. Based on the light, the sun was reasonably up, around seven to eight… she felt a shift beside her, turning around quickly; Kid had turned over, facing the other direction and curling up snuggly. Liz felt a small smile work its way onto her lips; Patty did that sometimes, when they had found a halfway decent motel. Patty… what would have happened to her little sister had they never been together. Starved most likely. Starved or lost her sanity. Was that Kid's fate? To lose his sanity when he had no one to lean on? She felt a twist in her chest as she remembered his attempt at kindness; she and Patty could have helped him, couldn't they? Maybe we still can, she thought, a warm feeling radiating through her chest, before feeling it extinguish as the explosion came to mind, her recklessness, Kid's betrayed face. Perhaps if she had actually cooperated, she wouldn't be in this situation, Liz realized. She set her jaw. Whether it was her fault or not, it was destroying him from the inside out, and she would be the one to help him, to pay off the debt she owed to the soul who had saved the only family she had. Liz and Patty… they were his family now. Families helped each other, and she didn't know where his aforementioned "father" was in any of this, but she knew one thing for sure: She was not going to rely on him to help his "son". If Kid had fallen this far without him noticing, he was no help to Kid, and based on his coming at his father's beck and call (she recalled with a grimace the wasp witch incident), he was certainly not a positive side to Kid's life, and therefore out of the question in terms of talking to him to find out anything to help Kid. Then, she realized, wincing, she'd have to get the answers out of him. Yeah, that should be easy, she thought, pulling a face. Like peeling a turtle. Getting Kid to spill his emotions. It'd be easier to teach Patty advanced particle physics. At least that had a set outcome. She exhaled forcefully through her nose, trying to calm herself. The first order of business was to get the Reaper to come back out of his shell, which, depending on the effect last night had on him, could be an easy task, or nigh impossible to accomplish. It all depended on whether Kid was willing to confront his moment of weakness. Remember, he's a child… in a way. Liz had to admit it; that was stretching the truth a little. He was plenty mature in a lot of ways Liz wasn't, in temper and composure. Than again, those things didn't really matter when one was unstable to the point of having an all out breakdown and smashing a bunch of sharp objects everywhere. She'd rather be sane than mature, she could say that much, and having to get Kid to be both posed a rather large obstacle. Now, how to go about doing that is the question…

She stopped, her thought raging to a screeching halt as she became aware of tiny, but shuddering movements behind her. She abruptly turned, and realized with a twist of her guts that Kid was shaking like a leaf. Tentatively, she placed a hand on his shoulder, giving what she hoped was a reassuring squeeze,

"Hey. Kid, it's alright, I'm here, I won't hurt you…"

Ok, maybe not the most uplifting of consolations… She held back another wince as she felt him brace.

Well… I'll find out now…

/\(/*\)/\

Kid woke up in a vague haze, some part of his body aware he was curled in a ball, the rest feeling as if he was floating through clouds of thick mist. He couldn't think, he couldn't move, and yet a penetrating feeling was lodged in his chest. It took him a second to recognize the feeling as sorrow. He felt his stomach do a backflip and he clenched his fists; sorrow was dangerous. Sorrow made one weak. Desperately, he tried to repress the painful emotion, block it out.

He couldn't. Panic began to spread throughout his limbs, in his veins, pumping in his heart. He couldn't black out the pain anymore. Why? He had been blocking it out all these years, why-

Last night. The memories came slowly, but he became aware of what had happened, what he had done. The pain of nausea came up on him, clawing its way up his throat and trying to force itself out through his mouth. He had lost control. What had been tame all those years had broken loose, and he couldn't stop it anymore. Madness… he had been aware of it, but he had ignored it all these years, letting it fester and gnaw at him like the foul pestilence it was. And he couldn't stop it now, could he? He began to shiver violently, fear and sickness squeezing his insides and mind. He was going insane, and nothing would be left of him once he was swallowed by the darkness he kept walled up for so long. No, he couldn't, he didn't want to, he was Death, he wasn't supposed to… his mind collapsed in on itself, terror taking a hold on him and reducing him to mental babbling.

He didn't want to be consumed; he didn't wanted to be consumed, he didn't want to be consumed.

"Hey. Kid, it's alright, I'm here, I won't hurt you."

A warm hand rested on his shoulder and gave a squeeze, quelling the anxiety and horror. He balked at the touch, freezing, every muscle in his body tense.

That's right.

She saved you. Elizabeth came to save you…

He remembered now. The elder Thompson sister had rushed into the bathroom, broke the spell of Madness on him. He remembered her helping him back to his room, putting him to bed, telling him she didn't mean too cause that explosion. Was she lying? No, he knew lies. That wasn't a lie, it couldn't have been. She didn't mean to cause the accident, and then had saved him despite his blame. If she hadn't been there, he would have lost himself, maybe permanently. And she had stayed. The whole night… why? It didn't make since. What had he done for her? Granted, he had let her and her sister stay with him, but that was due payment wasn't it? She didn't… it wasn't…

"Kid?"

Elizabeth's voice was softer now, her hand tightening on her shoulder. Slowly, he turned over to face her, terrified for some unknown reason. When he saw her, he felt like his soul was being torn limp from limp by a thousand clawed hands. She was concerned for him. Why? He couldn't understand, but out of nowhere, a small memory came to mind…

Once, when he was out reaping, an old man was dying of starvation on the streets. He had prepared to reap his soul, when he stopped. Beside him was a young child, a little girl by the looks of her, who wept and clutched his hand like it was the last thing in the world that she could hold on to, begging him not to go. The old man had only smiled, and said that it was his time, and he wasn't afraid. The girl needn't cry for him, he was happy. But the girl had only wept harder, and told him she wanted him to have lived better. Kid had been confused. The girl shouldn't care. She did not know him, she was the daughter of a wealthy family and she had no reason to feel sorrow for the death of one who was of no value to her. Kid had reaped his soul there, collected it, and went on his way. It was of no business of his, he did not need to worry about it.

Now, he looked back, and asked himself at that second,

"Is that the reason Elizabeth cares?"

The same reason the little girl had… but this was different. He didn't like Elizabeth looking like that, it was his fault for falling into that phase. She had no reason to feel pain for him, it just wasn't right. So he did the only thing he knew how to do. What humans did when they felt they had wronged someone, as he had wronged Elizabeth.

"I-" his voice's weakness startled him, and he forced it steady, "I apologize Elizabeth. You need not be concerned for me."

He tried at a remorseful look, but the act he had mastered would not come, and all he managed was a sort of half-assed flinch that blatantly spelled out LIE. The concern faded from her face, to his relief, however it was replaced by a frankly evil death-glare, and her hand tightened on her shoulder to the point where it ached a little.

"Don't. Kid, just… no."

Her words were filled with barely restrained fury, and, based on the grip Elizabeth had on his arm, she would have punched him if not for his state. He couldn't absorb this… he had only made her angry. His apology had meant well… but-

"Ask her."

He blinked. That was right, the little voice was right. Why didn't he ask her?

"You're afraid of the answer. Death the Kid, afraid of an answer. Who would have thought?"

The little voice mocked. He gritted his teeth. Was he? Was he afraid of a few little words? Yes. He was. But, he realized, were had fear got him? No, he had to find the reason. It was the only way, he didn't want to be consumed by Madness, he couldn't.

"Why?"

He stopped, his throat clogging everything it could, blockading any noise from passing it. He avoided Elizabeth's eyes, focusing intently on the covers. He didn't want to see her face when he asked. Would she laugh at him? Or be disgusted that he didn't understand what she did? He felt himself grow very cold, even though his body could not technically feel heat or cold.

"I want to help you."

His eyes widened in surprise. He had not been expected that. He had been expecting mocking, or condescending. At least from Elizabeth. But… she wanted to help him? …Like Patty did.

"Patty's gonna' help Kid, and we're all gonna' be happy, okay?"

The girl's cheerful voice echoed through his head, from the day before this one, offering to help him on the way to the Kishin. She had wanted to help him too. He hadn't understood then either… she wanted him to be happy. He didn't get it, it didn't make since. He wanted her and Elizabeth to be happy too, but… Elizabeth thought he was a spoiled brat, right? She resented him for everything he had! So why was she trying to help him?

He must have looked troubled, or at least confused, because he heard Elizabeth speak again, this time in a gentle voice, like one would use for a child,

"With humans… we want to help each other. We care for others who need it because…"

Elizabeth trailed off, seeming lost for words, but Kid understood. Of course, he thought, resentment sprouting up inside him; this was pity. Pity was the last thing he wanted. Yes, help the pathetic little boy out because he doesn't understand. He gritted his teeth, growling,

"I don't want pity…"

He didn't care that his anger was showing; he would never, at any costs take pity from someone. Elizabeth looked at Kid in surprise, then frustration, her voice irritated,

"No! It's not pity… it's… compassion I guess…"

Her words were unsure of themselves, and it didn't make sense. Compassion wasn't the word she meant, he knew that much. So even Elizabeth didn't know it?...

"Kid."

He broke away from his thoughts, looking at Elizabeth this time. Her tone of voice… it was the tone she used when he told her that she loved Patty more than anything… strong, steady. He didn't know what to think of it.

"I'm doing this because you saved Patty and me. Wait!" She interrupted as he opened his mouth to object, "You don't get it Kid! You didn't just save us! You gave us everything we ever wished for in our lives. Patty's childhood. A place to live." Her voice was tight now, as if struggling to hold back tears, the hand not on Kid's shoulder clenched into a fist at her side, "And you… you hardly asked for anything back. What, kill some monsters in exchange for the life you only dreamed of? We can't repay that Kid, life doesn't work that way!"

Kid only stared at her. He didn't understand, it didn't make sense. Why did humans always make things so complex…

"STOP IT!"

He started violently at the yell, completely unprepared for it. Elizabeth had tears in her eyes now, whether tears of anger, sorrow, or frustration, he couldn't say.

"It's not a damn math problem Kid, you can't understand it like that! Just… what did you feel last night?"

The question caught him off guard. He had felt Madness. He was afraid. Afraid. Emotions… was that what she was trying to say? To think like that made one weaker, he had always known that much… But look where that got me. He thought ruefully. So… was she saying that was the solution? Humans are so confusing…

"I was afraid."

He admitted quietly. If it took the truth to understand, he must tell it. It took all his strength to keep his voice steady, and even then, he thought he betrayed some of his sorrow, some of his shame at being weak. Elizabeth sighed, the tension seeming to drain from her body,

"And you wanted it to go away right? I felt like that, but Patty helped me drive it away to protect her." Kid stared, speechless. So… was that why she protected her? A purpose in life… he was Death. That was his purpose… wasn't it?

"I want to help you now, because I know what it's like, being afraid like that." Her voice was barely audible, her eyes cast downward, "You saved us, but you're still afraid. You saved Patty…" The sister's voice caught, and she took a deep breath, "Patty helped me out, and you helped Patty. So I'm going to help you escape fear now." She smiled. It was a genuine smile, like she cared. He didn't know why, but Kid liked it.

"Do you understand?"

She tone was encouraging, hopeful. Kid thought for a moment. That fear… yes, he hated it. If Elizabeth found a way out because of Patty, and Elizabeth loved Patty…

So that is the answer, isn't it.

Yes, it was. What he had forsaken… he had forgotten what it was like to feel that. All he remembered was pain, a thousand weeping, agonized souls screaming in his ears, the bloodied body of the only one who had been willing to love him, wanting to block out the image forever scorched into the depths of his soul...

But what was before that?

He clenched his jaw, delving into the full memory of it, finding whatever he could of the tattered, withered memories. They were charred with whatever attempts he made to destroy them completely, but he could discern one thing from the blackened, emaciated remains of his childhood. Warmth. It was like someone had lite a tiny fire in his chest, spreading throughout his limbs, glowing throughout his whole body. No matter how he tried, he, he could never erase that memory. It had been… happy then. It hadn't hurt, and he hadn't had to lock it away. Was that what Elizabeth felt for her younger sister? Was that what could help him? Could he be helped?

"If you want too."

The voice had taken on a softer tone, and, it might have been a figment of his imagination, but… it was farther away. If you want too…

"Will it make you leave?"

He asked it. Somehow he knew the answer, even though it did not reply. And he knew the answer to his own question, the one he asked beforehand. He looked up at Elizabeth.

"Yes."

He could be helped. He wanted to.