Chapter Three

Angela Anderson smiled at her son and Sam when they walked in the door.

"Hey, Mom," said Blaine.

"Oh honey, you know how I feel about that word," she said, pouring herself a glass of wine. "I'm far too young to be called, 'Mom.'"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Right. Sorry, Angela."

Angela gave him a satisfied look, then she gave Sam a hug – Sam noticed she smelled like grapes, she must love her wine. "You must be one of Blaine's friends from school."

Sam smiled. "Hi, Mrs.—" she shot him a nasty look. "Hi, Angela."

"I'm so glad Blaine has a new friend!" Angela said somewhat icily. "He's been moping around the house ever since the last one – what was his name again? – left for college. Chicago, I mean. Didn't he go to Chicago?"

Blaine frowned. "His name was Kurt and he moved to New York."

"Right, right. Sorry about that dear." She turned to Sam and smiled devilishly at him. "And who are you, handsome?"

"I'm Sam."

Angela groaned. "Such a plain name for such an extraordinary boy."

Blaine sighed.

"… Thanks?" Sam said. He shot a confused look to Blaine, who shrugged slightly and stared at the ground. God, this was awkward. Was she hitting on him? He wasn't interested. It's not like she was ugly but… no.

"So are you staying for dinner, Samuel?"

"It's just Sam," he smiled awkwardly. "And no, I'm not. I was actually just dropping Blaine off and wanted to stop in and make sure I met you. I've heard… things about you."

"That's very polite of you, Sam," she spit his name out like it was poison.

"Thank you," he said. "Bye, Blaine! Nice to meet you, Angela…"

"Nice to meet you too!" she slapped his butt as he walked out the door.

"MOM!" Blaine yelled.

"What?" Angela asked. "Did I do something wrong?"

When Blaine walked into the choir room the following day and sat down next to him, Sam started laughing uncontrollably. Blaine wondered if Sam's brain had broken or something.

"Why do you keep laughing?" Blaine asked.

"Because," said Sam, "your mom wants it."

Blaine looked away, disgusted. "She wants what?"

"This," Sam said, rubbing his hands across his chest. Blaine winced at the sight of Sam doing that.

"Don't flatter yourself," said Blaine. "She treats everyone that way. One time Finn came over and she sexually assaulted him, too. So don't flatter yourself too much." He wondered if that came out too harshly. He wasn't sure why he felt so strongly about this. It's not like Sam reciprocated the feelings of his mother. Did he? Blaine was horrified by the very thought of it.

"Jeez man, fine. I was just joking."

"I'm sorry, Sam," said Blaine. "I didn't… I didn't mean to lash out at you."

"Whatever you say."

"Could you two homos shut up for just a second?" Kitty groaned. "I was trying to tell everyone that I know the perfect song for Sectionals this year. I'll be singing a solo, obviously."

"Why the hell would we let you sing lead?" Tina asked. "You've been in the club for like, a week! Some of us have actually earned our time in the spotlight."

"Yeah, like me!" said Sugar.

"Um, don't I get a say in this?" Finn asked. "Sectionals are still a couple of weeks away. I think everyone should get a fair chance to get a solo. We'll have auditions next Tuesday for everyone. Is anyone interested?"

Every single hand in the choir room went up, accompanied by assorted yelling.

"I'm getting this solo," said Sam.

Blaine laughed. "Whatever you say."

After glee club rehearsal ended, but Sam tapped Blaine on the shoulder as he was going out the door. Blaine jumped a bit, still not used to being touched by Sam.

"Hey," Sam said. "We should totally practice for the solo together."

"You realize that makes no sense, right?" Blaine asked, shooting the blond-haired boy a puzzled look. "It's a solo. Why would we practice together? We're competing against each other, after all."

Sam nodded. The truth was that he enjoyed spending time with Blaine and thought this was as good of an excuse as any to keep doing that. He didn't know why, but being with Blaine made him feel like he was useful, needed, wanted. Sam struggled with self-doubt sometimes, so it was nice to be around Blaine. Even though he was resistant he still managed to make Sam feel appreciated. "I just thought it'd be cool to help each other out. We could still compete, but we could meet up with each other and just practice together. May the best man win, you know?"

Blaine smiled. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, actually." He was happy he'd be able to spend more time with Sam, but… it just wouldn't feel right. He realized he'd started crying.

"Blaine! What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"It's just…" Blaine took a deep breath and paused to think. "Before… I would've done something like this – practicing for a solo – with Kurt. And it's not that you're not amazing, it's just… it brings up memories of him. How we supported each other. And now I don't have that anymore, and I probably never will again. It'll never be like that with Kurt again and it's all because of me and what I did." He started breathing heavily. "I'm really sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to freak out. You must think I'm crazy. Sometimes I'll be fine and then just start crying uncontrollably. This isn't even one of the worst times, to be honest. But… I still want to practice with you."

"Dude, I'd never think you're crazy," said Sam. "You're just going through some stuff right now, and you're depressed. I just hope you can learn to stop blaming yourself. Maybe it'd help if you talked to Kurt."

"He won't pick up my calls," Blaine said, without a shred of hope in his voice. "What's the point?"

"Didn't anyone tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Kurt and Rachel are coming into town tonight for Thanksgiving. They're staying with her and her dads. I'm really sorry, I thought someone would've told you."

"That doesn't help anyways. Kurt wasn't interested in talking to me before, he won't be now."

"It can't hurt to try," said Sam. "He's had time to calm down now, maybe he'll realize how much you mean to him."

"Do you really think I should talk to him?" Blaine asked.

"Of course I do," Sam smiled and gave his friend a reassuring look. "Maybe he can forgive you and the two of you can get together again. Even if he doesn't, you can get… that word. For when you know it's over."

"Closure?"

"Yeah, you can get closure. That's good, right?"

"I guess it is, you're right," said Blaine. "I'll talk to him tonight."

"Awesome!" said Sam, and he patted Blaine on the back. "I'm sure it'll go fine. And if it doesn't… I'm here for you, okay?"

"Thank you, Sam."

"No problem," he said. "By the way, once you're done, call me. We can meet up at your house and start practicing."

"Right, sounds good."

"Good luck."

Blaine stood at the front door of Rachel's house, doubting his decision to come here. What if Kurt didn't want to see him? Why would he? He was just about to change his mind and drive back home when Rachel noticed him and opened the door.

"Blaine!" she said loudly, delighted. "It's so great to see you!" She pulled him in for a tight hug.

"Hey, Rachel," he smiled. It really was nice to see her again. He was surprised she was being so nice and welcoming, given that Kurt definitely told his best friend and roommate what he'd done.

"Come in!" Rachel said.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am," said Rachel. "My dads are out of town until Thanksgiving and Kurt is visiting his dad right now, he should be back soon. You're here to talk to him, right?"

"Yeah, I am," Blaine said. He looked around the house for no real reason, other than that he was starting to feel a little awkward. He came right out and asked, "Does he hate me? Do you think he'll want to talk to me?"

"He could never hate you, Blaine," said Rachel. "He was mad for a while, and he did feel hurt by you. But I think he's ready to talk to you about it."

"Do you think he wants to get back together?"

Rachel paused. "I really don't know, Blaine. I hope so, though. I'm rooting for the two of you. Don't tell him I said that… I've been pretending to be mad at you. The truth is that if anyone deserves a happy ending, it's you, no matter what mistakes you make on the way there. You deserve to be happy, Blaine."

The two of them made small talk for ten minutes until Kurt walked in. His mouth dropped open at the sight of Blaine sitting on the couch.

"I'll leave you two alone…" said Rachel, who went upstairs to her room.

"Blaine, what are you doing here?" Kurt asked.

"I needed to talk to you."

Kurt shook his head and then swallowed a lump in his throat. "Start talking then."

"If you don't want me here, I can leave," Blaine said sheepishly. "I just wanted to have a chance to talk to you, I don't feel like we left things right."

"You're right," said Kurt slowly, almost as if he was tripping on the words. "I was just surprised to see you here, that's all. I was planning to just stay home tonight and watch Funny Girl with Rachel."

"I love that movie," said Blaine.

"I know…"

Blaine struggled thinking of the right words to tell Kurt. What was there left to say to him? "I'm really sorry for hurting you, Kurt. It's the last thing I ever meant to do."

"I'm sure you are."

"No, Kurt. You really have no idea. You were the very most important thing in my life, maybe the only important thing to me. And just because I was starting to have some doubts I screwed it up. And the doubts were all in my head! It was the single stupidest thing I've ever done, and I hope it doesn't ruin us forever. I love you, Kurt. And I always will."

"I love you too, Blaine. And I'm glad you're sorry." Kurt sat down now. "But… I just can't be with you. Not now… and probably not for a long time."

Blaine winced at the bluntness of Kurt's words. "Why? There isn't someone else, is there?"

"No, there's not. But there could be eventually. And there could be someone new for you too. We don't know yet. We think now that we're destined to be together, but the truth is that we're not. The doubts you were having probably weren't all in your head, you know. It's not fair of me to go away to New York and expect you to just wait for me."

"It's completely fair!"

"It isn't. This is your senior year, Blaine. You should be able to live it, and it's going to be without me."

"So you don't want to get back together?"

"I want to," Kurt said, and wiped a single tear from his eye. "But it's better for both of us if we don't go through this all again. It's just not going to work out. Maybe we can give it a try next year when you've graduated, but for now it's a bad idea."

Tears were falling down Blaine's face. "It's just because you can't trust me, isn't it? I did this."

"No, it's not your fault. Obviously you sleeping with someone else didn't help, and it did hurt me, I won't lie. But I think this was inevitable. It was silly of us to think this could work out."

Blaine started to cry even harder. "Alright. It was nice to see you. G-Goodbye, Kurt."

"Blaine, are you alright?"

"Of course I am," Blaine lied. "Bye." He ran out of the house and got back into his car, driving home as fast as he could.

He got home and saw a note from his mother on the counter. Supposedly she was out on a business trip, even though she didn't have a job. Probably out having an affair with a millionaire, as she was wont to do.

Blaine jumped when his phone started ringing. He checked it and saw that it was Sam calling, but he wasn't interested in talking to him, or anyone else ever again for that matter. Out of impulse, he dropped his phone into the toilet. He looked around the bathroom and noticed a large jar of painkillers opened on top of the shelf. His mother must've been having another one of her "headaches." He picked up the pills that had been spilled and when he had a thought. Kurt was all that he was living for. The only thing that mattered. And Kurt said that he didn't want to get back together. If he didn't want to get back together, why should Blaine keep dealing with the daily torture of his life?

He dumped a handful of the painkillers into his hand and walked back out into the kitchen and poured himself a tall glass of his mother's favorite red wine. He leaned back his head and threw the painkillers into his mouth, washing them down with the wine. He sat down on the floor, waiting for relief to finally come.