This isn't right.

That's what I keep telling myself over and over again. And yet, here I was, enjoying the pleasure of making love to someone who I wasn't supposed to be with in the first place.

His fingers intertwined in mine, gripping it tight above my head as he pushed himself inside of me gently and slowly. A soft moan slipped through my lips as the pain gave me a mix of both hurt and satisfaction.

He kissed my small lips tenderly, his hot breath brushed past my cheek as we kissed. We broke the kiss but the love-making still continued.

I ran my fingers through his short hair and reached to the back of his head to bring him closer to me. He got in even deeper with that.

My back arched as his bare hands slid through my waist. He buried his lips in between my breast, sucking my skin to his own pleasure.

Though this wasn't how we had planned for our little meeting to end, but I was pretty sure that this wasn't something we're going to end up regretting in the morning. At least that's what I thought.

Waking up in misery

"What have I done?" A sigh of frustration reached upon my hearing thus setting me up on a wake. I rolled over to the side and met Randy's back. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head down. I could sense almost immediately that he was disappointed with what happened last night. I couldn't blame him for feeling that way. After all, he was still someone's husband and last night was thoroughly a mistake he had made out of his unconscious state of mind.

"Hey." I dared myself to get closer to him, touching my fingers to his back.

"What have we done, Mara?" He asked quietly, almost unheard if you didn't pay much attention.

"It's okay, Randy. Everything's going to - "

"No, it's not going to be okay!" He yelled, getting up from the bed and turned himself around to look at me. His sky blue eyes were bloodshot red, a look of miserable made up his face.

"I spent this whole week cursing Sam for all of her cheating with another man and now here I am, waking up in a bed with you while still wearing this goddamn wedding ring on my fucking finger!" He shot up his ring finger in my face. I gulped silently, not sure of the right thing to say.

He rubbed his face forcefully. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. And I'm really sorry for what happened last night."

"Well, don't be."

"Why not?"

"'Cause I'm not sorry. At all." I said calmly, lifting my head up to meet his eyes.

He frowned, "What do you mean you're not sorry?"

"Randy ... I love you. Only God knows how I wish every day and night to be with you. I've been loving you since the day we first met. I couldn't tell you this because you were so madly and deeply into Sam. I admired you for loving her that much and little did I know that each day I'd spent hanging around playing bridge with you and Sam had made me fall in love with you instead of just admiring made me wanna have you all to myself." Tears were welling in my eyes as those words travelled out from my mouth.

Randy's mouth dropped a little once he heard everything that I'd said. I watched him carefully stroking his hair, sighing slowly as he did so.

"Why is this all happening to me?"

"Randy, I -"

"Just stop it, Mara. Things aren't going to work out between us. Let's just forget that all of this ever happened okay?"

My heart sunk instantly. He expected me to forget all of this? Boy, he must damn stupid or just out of his mind.

"Obviously we were drunk last night and you're probably still hungover from last night. That's probably why you say what you've said."

He slid on his clothes from yesterday and left the house instantly. I was left alone by myself to mourn over this heartbreak he gave.

Chasing you away

-One month later-

I stopped seeing Randy after that night. I received calls from Sam a couple of times occasionally, asking me to come over to play bridge with her. I kindly turned down her offer, throwing off ridiculous excuses just to avoid to see her or more precisely, Randy. I didn't think I have the same strength I had before to meet him eye to eye again. His words were too harsh that it had put me in the hall of shame. I didn't think I could lift even one eye to look at him. Plus I didn't want to be the one that ruin other people's marriage.I was told that Randy and Sam had reconciled after the whole cheating thing.

Here I am; crawling back to you

The rain was pouring heavily outside in the middle of summer. I don't know what happened with the weather routine but the rain seemed to arrive at the wrong season. Nonetheless, I was happy to welcome this rain.

I was reading Nora Robert's when I heard a loud banging on the front door. I quickly shut my book and rushed to answer the door.

"Hi" Randy appeared at my front door, being all soaked up by the rain and a friendly smile lit up his face.

"What are you doing here?" I flustered.

"Visiting you, obviously." He smiled, a little wider this time.

I battled with myself just then, whether to let him in or ask him to leave.

Don't let him in, Mara. He refused you, remember?

Get out of the way and let him come into the house. The poor guy is all wet!

Don't, Mara. He'll break your heart again, damn it!

He's just coming to visit you. What's the worst that could happen?

Everyhing that's worse will happen if he gets in.

"Are you going to leave me frozen to death out here?" Randy asked, shaking my thoughts away.

"Oh, sorry. Come on in." I stepped out of the way, allowing him to walk inside the house. Water dripped from his hair and his clothes to the carpeted floor.

"Wait here. I'll go get you some - "

Randy took me by the wrist, stopping me from walking away from him. He pulled me closer to him, our bodies connected as we engaged in an overpowering gaze into each other's eyes.

"Randy, you're married." I reminded him in a soft breath of whisper.

He held up his left hand. I noted his ring finger was empty.

"What ha- "

"I let her go. It was useless fighting for something that was already broken." He told with no sense of sadness in his voice. He was surprisingly calm.

I didn't know whether to feel happy with that news. But one thing I know for sure was that I'm not going to let him take my heart that easily after what he had done.

"What do you want now, Randy?" I asked coldly.

"You"

"Bullshit!" I shouted, pushing him away from me. "You think you could have me that easily after breaking my heart into pieces?!"

"Look, Mara-"

"Save it, Randy. I don't wanna hear any apologies or any other shit you'd come up with." I turned around to walk away from him. Yet, I found myself being spun by him and was forced to look at him again.

"Mara...I know you probably hated me for what I said last time. But believe me, I got caught up in the situation that time. I didn't mean to hurt you the way that I do. I just feel so messed up with everything that time. After I got home, I suddenly realized about my feelings for you."

"Oh whatever, Ran-"

"Mara please. Listen to me. I love you. You were always there for me everytime I needed you and you cared for me so much more than Sam ever did. And I admit I was too stupid to realize that." He grabbed my face in his hands, bringing it closer till our noses touched.

"What about that night? Did you regret it or - "

"No,not one bit, in fact I was thankful that that night happened 'cause it have brought me the closest I've ever been to you."

"You don't know how much you've hurt me."

"I know but I'm begging you, Mara baby, please give me another chance. I'll spend the rest of my life to make things up to you." He said with a plea in his blue eyes.

We stared quietly into each other's eyes before I leaned forward to kiss him. His hands reached for my waist as I tangled my arms around his neck. He slid his hands to the back of my thigh and wrapped my legs around him as he picked me up with his arms.

"I love you, Mara" Randy whispered softly after we broke the kiss.

"I love you more, Randy."

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