Author's Note: This is my first time ever really writing any sort of fanfic. Please review and let me know if there is something that I need to work on in future chapters. I'd love your feedback and want to make this story as good as it can be. Thank you!

I still can't believe it. Kurt's here. At the show. Thank god Finn showed up to save me from what would have been a really awkward conversation. I could tell it was just as awkward for him as it was for me. He wouldn't even look me in the eye. I mean, it is great to see him again, but this was the worst possible time he could have shown up. I have to be out there singing Beauty School Dropout in like, just a couple minutes and all the lyrics are jumbled in my head right now. I can't go on. I have to find Sam, maybe he can have someone take my place for the scene. That's why they invented understudies. Right?

I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I can't find Sam anywhere, and nobody else can either. There's 15 minutes left until I go on and whoever is taking my place is going to need as much time to prepare as possible. What am I going to - "SAM!"

Crap. Don't scream backstage is like, rule number three of being in a show. I can't worry about that. My heart is pounding as I run over to Sam.

"Sam, I can't go on. Kurt's here and I saw him before the show started and I'm freaking out and I just can't go on because I don't remember the words and if I see him sitting out there I don't know what I'm going to do and I just can't do this right now I'm so sorry." The words were just pouring out of me and tears were welling in my eyes. I could hardly see straight let alone think. Suddenly, I felt Sam wrap his arms around me.

"Blaine," he was whispering in my ear "you can do this." He pulled away and looked into my eyes. "You know this song better than anyone else and its phenomenal. You were the first one to have any song memorized. If anyone can go out there and knock everyone's socks off, its going to be you. Just remember all the hard work you put into it and don't let Kurt ruin your performance. Everyone believes in you."

He was right. Nobody else knew the song, nobody else could take my place. I had to do this. I had to prove to myself that I could do this. It was time for me to shine.

As soon as I set foot on that stage, our eyes locked. He was the only person in the entire auditorium. It took everything that I had not to run off and hide. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't let everyone down. Sugar, Ryder, Marley, I couldn't let them down. I couldn't let Sam down. He put so much work into this show and I couldn't blow it. I heard the music and I started singing. The first couple notes, a little shaky. Focus Blaine! Focus on Sugar, you're singing to her, not Kurt. Don't think about Kurt. Alright, so far so good. Just keep going and you can freak out when you get backstage. Don't look out at the audience. Almost done, thank god. Crap. The look on Kurt's face. I miss that face so much... DAMMIT BLAINE. Just finish the song already.

And that was that. The song was over, I took my leave of the stage and immediately found a small room and cried my eyes out. I couldn't believe that he would do that to me. He knew how much I loved him and how sorry I was for the mistake that I made. I betrayed him and he broke my heart. I deserved it. Why am I so weak? Why am I so desperate to not be alone?

"Maybe it would be better if I just died." I was thinking out loud now. "I should have never come to McKinley. I never should have opened up to Kurt back at Dalton. None of this would have ever happened. I would still be with the Warblers. I would have been able to find a way to be happy there." Tears were streaming down my face. I wish I could have just gone back in time. Back when everything was okay and I didn't have to blame myself for anything. I just wish the pain would go away.

"Please, someone, make the pain go away. Just end it now. Please. I can't handle anymore." Silence. Nobody is going to help me, so I have to help myself. I reached my hand out and grabbed something rough. Rope. I tied it up like I had seen on those crime shows when people get hanged. Good thing dad sent me to boy scouts hoping it would get rid of the gay. Loop it around my neck, hang it from the ceiling, and jump off the chair. That's all that I had to do. I'd be dead in the next 30 seconds and all my issues would be gone. No more hurt, no more guilt, no more mistakes. It was for the best. I'll never hurt anyone else. One step off this chair and it will all be over and I can finally be at peace. Everyone can be at piece.

My entire body is shaking. I have to do this. I took a step forward. "Goodbye everyone." I closed my eyes, heard a loud bang, and everything went still. I went still.