"Don't play with that! You don't know what's dangerous and what's going to corrode your skin on contact."

"Had a lot of experience, have you?"

"Hardly, but I know what's dangerous and what's not."

"Are you saying I don't?"

Grimmjow felt Nnoitra push Stark into him and stumbled against a table before regaining his balance. He turned to the other two with an annoyed look on his handsome face.

"Will you guys quit it?"

"He pushed me." Stark said as he yawned into Nnoitra's face. "Besides, I wasn't even trying to start a fight."

"Suck up!" Nnoitra hollered, not even bothering to keep his voice down.

"Shut up already!" Grimmjow grabbed Nnoitra by his shoulders. "Do you want Szayel to wake up?"

All three Espada turned to look balefully at the tall, rotating titanium pod in the center of the steel laboratory. For days on end – weeks, even – the pink haired Octavo had been skipping meals to 'rejuvenate' in his pod. Despite everyone else's curiosity as to what exactly Szayel was doing in there, no one really bothered asking for fear of being roped into his next experiment.

"I'd say right now he'd be about as weak as that Shinigami kid." Nnoitra snickered into Grimmjow's face. "The one you have a huge crush on."

"I do not!" Was what Grimmjow would have liked to holler, but at the very moment felt like punching Nnoitra in the gut for calling him out, so he did. The second his fist ploughed through air to hit the Quinto in the stomach, Nnoitra pulled the trigger on Szayel's molecular teleporting contraption.

Grimmjow was hit with a magnificent white beam and was sent flying to the back of the laboratory.

x

There was a sickly churning sensation in his gut, like he was being yanked about with an extra long piece of invisible string. Ichigo opened his eyes and instantly felt like hurling the contents of last night's dinner onto his bedroom floor. At second glance, the teen realized the room he was in wasn't his own.

What the hell had happened? Ichigo was sure he hadn't ingested anything out of date. Yuzu would never cook anything that had expired for the family.

"Grimmjow, everything alright?" Someone was snapping fingers at his right ear, then his left. "Sensory organs seem fine. Now, for vision. How many fingers am I holding up?"

A white-gloved hand was thrust before his face, three fingers waggling. Ichigo blinked and groaned a little.

"Uh, three." He mumbled.

"Good. How do you feel? Dizzy? A little sore?"

Ichigo reached up to scratch the back of his head. His hair seemed a lot longer and coarser than it usually was. He took a long look at his hands and gaped. Those did not look like his own hands! Longer fingers, broad nails and fair skin replaced his usually tanned hands.

"What?" Ichigo looked up and felt his insides freeze.

Szayel and a couple of other Espada were looking at him expectantly. Holy shit! What were they doing in Karakura? More importantly, what were they doing in his bedroom?

Ichigo looked around wildly. Walls of steel, shelves and cabinets stacked neatly with various bottles and boxes, three steel sinks and one large, long experiment table. He was in a laboratory.

How did this happen? When had he gotten here? The last thing he remembered was sleeping soundly in bed.

"Grimmjow?" Frowning, Szayel snapped his fingers before his face worriedly.

It was getting annoying. Ichigo swatted his hand away and scowled.

"He's fine." It must've been the appropriate reaction. Szayel shot him a relieved smile and nodded to Nnoitra. "I guess there's still some more refining to do with the Atomizer. I'll figure something out."

Aizen walked into view. Ichigo felt his heart leap up into his throat.

"Good. You may return to your quarters and rest. No more missions for today." Aizen gave him a dismissive wave and turned away to consult the pink haired Espada with a stack of papers.

Ichigo couldn't help but stare at him apprehensively. What was going on? If this was a dream, it sure as heck was a real one. He could even see the fine lines in Aizen's forehead as the Shinigami traitor frowned while Szayel said something.

"Let's get going." An Espada whom Ichigo had never fought before but knew him as Stark walked over and held out a hand. "Can you stand?"

This was the first time an Espada acted friendly toward him. No hostility at all in Stark's expression; it was crazy.

"We need to leave. Aizen wants Szayel to conduct some experiments for him and trust me, you do not want to be here when that happens." Ulquiorra strode over to look at him. "Grimmjow?"

Grimmjow? They thought he was Grimmjow! Ichigo couldn't wrap his mind around the utter strangeness. Well, maybe he did look like Grimmjow. But that was absurd, because … well, because! Mind shot with a high dose of confusion, Ichigo could only blink as he let himself get pulled up to his feet, supported by Stark and Nnoitra.

"Grimmjow obviously feels a little out of it." Szayel gave Ichigo's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You'll be back to normal after you get some rest."

Stark gave Grimmjow – nee Ichigo – a light pat on the back. "Hear that? All you need is some sleep."

So.

If Grimmjow was out of his own body, and Ichigo was in Grimmjow's, did that mean Grimmjow was in Ichigo's body? Ichigo barely realized they were at Grimmjow's bedroom until Stark pushed open a door with a beveled number six on it. It looked a lot like a hotel room's door. Once inside, Ichigo feasted his eyes on the interior. Bare white walls, blue bedspread, and a small wall rack of books. He was led to the bed and made to sit on it.

"Here, let me get your boots." Stark knelt down to undo the laces around Ichigo's feet.

The teen shot a weak smile at him and managed a mutter. "Thanks."

Stark gave him a surprised stare. His steel gray eyes narrowed suspiciously. Ichigo prayed he wouldn't realize who he really was. It suddenly occurred to him that Grimmjow probably never said thank you, ever. Which wasn't surprising, but Ichigo guessed he should've seen it coming.

"Feel better." Stark let it go after a short, somewhat tension-filled moment. "Get some sleep."

Ichigo scowled like he'd seen Grimmjow do – which wasn't hard because he was quite used to scowling himself. "Yeah."

Smirking, Stark turned away and followed after Ulquiorra and Nnoitra. The bedroom door shut with a quiet click. Ichigo exhaled a long sigh of relief. So they hadn't noticed he wasn't Grimmjow after all. He leapt out of bed and dashed to the small door that led to the bathroom.

Blue eyes, blue hair, a bone mask and very even white teeth. Grimmjow stared back at him with something akin to shock and disgust.

x

Grimmjow flailed – in a manly way, so he assured himself – and felt something hit him on the head. Or more likely, he'd hit something with his head. It hadn't hurt, but it was a bit of a shock for a few minutes of utter disorientation. Well, at least the sickening pull from somewhere around his bowels had vanished.

There was a small poke on his left knee. Something small was trying to crawl under the sheets with him. Huh. Sheets. When had he gone to bed? Grimmjow remembered being in Szayel's laboratory when Nnoitra had pulled the trigger with the molecular teleporting gun, aptly named Atomizer, with the firing end aimed at him. There had been a horrible yank on his stomach, a twining feeling constricting his intestines, and a whole lot of mixed up sound mashed around with his hearing. After that, he'd blacked out. Now, he was ready to kill Nnoitra, grind Pantera around his intestines and slice them up before turning him inside out like stripped pork. But because someone nice had put him to bed, Grimmjow figured he'd murder Nnoitra in a less sadistic way than he'd previously decided on.

The sky outside the window was a lovely shade of orange streaked with white clouds that were on the verge of revealing the sun. Something at the back of Grimmjow's memory sparked the thought that it was daybreak. Probably from one of those experiences he'd had from living as one of the beings he'd eaten.

Another thought, labeled his Most Sensible Common Sense, which Grimmjow happened to like the least because it told him exactly what he didn't want to hear despite it being the truth, said that Something Was Up.

And it was.

Grimmjow stared down at the rising tent beneath his bedcovers, and narrowed his eyes. He hadn't had a hard on in decades. Not since he'd been a teenage Arrancar. Then it hit him. There was no sun in Las Noches. Even if Aizen were to set him in a hypnotic state, Grimmjow could still figure out what was real and what wasn't.

The steady growing lump around his nethers seemed to be fighting itself. Grimmjow had no idea how his erection seemed to be doing it, but then again he had a sinking feeling this wasn't really a hard on.

And he was right. It seemed to be counting.

"Fifty seven, fifty eight, fifty nine, BADABOOM!"

A little sandy orange bear with brown frills leapt out from the blanket onto his stomach muscles. Grimmjow's first instinct was to squash it, but only curiosity held him back.

"Annnnd the teenager explodes with a giant splash!" The bear sat on his stomach and drummed a beat somewhere around his ribs with little bear hands.

"Wake up time, Ichigo! School's the best place for booby watching! If you don't go early, you'll miss the best girls! Which is what you haven't been doing, so you've never gotten a girl!" The bear ended up in a chuckling heap on his upper thighs.

Ichigo?

Grimmjow was sharp, even when he was half awake and confused. The bear had called him Ichigo, and this was not his quarters in Las Noches, nor was there a sun.

x

Christmas is coming. Who's excited? :)