I woke up at noon feeling like I got hit by a bus.

The house was still and silent again, signaling that everyone had left for the day. I had locked my door last night, so no one could disturb me. I guess they noticed, I'm not sure. I opened my door not bothering to put a shirt on. I slowly walked down the steps, noticing the lingering smell of bacon and pancakes. I checked the microwave and there was a plate for me. I closed the door not feeling like stuffing my face at the moment. I step out on to the porch, and it was quite beautiful outside. The summer sun felt good on my bare skin.

I heard a loud bang that made me jump, it was coming from the garage.

WTF…

I slowly walked to the garage.

As I got closer I heard Dean singing Foolish Heart by Steve Perry.

It was quite beautiful, and I almost got lost in it, but then I realized I wasn't alone and what the hell was Dean doing home.

I couldn't deal with the heat ache that I knew was written all over my face. I couldn't face him, not right now.

I slipped back into the house practically running to my room. I closed and locked the door.

"Why are you so stupid Cas, just grow up, people deal with crushes all the time." I told myself.

I knew this was true but it hurts thinking that Dean might have actually liked me. Maybe I could spend the summer in my room and no one would notice.

I really didn't want to waste the day though, so I climbed out my window on to the roof and sat there for a while.

After about an hour I heard a small knock on my door.

"Cas…are you alright? You haven't eaten dinner or breakfast. I'm starting to worry about you." Dean said.

Ugh. I knew I couldn't send Dean away he wouldn't take my excuses.

I was tired of hiding anyway, this is who I am.

I didn't run and grab a shirt or even bother to change my bandages which now had blood stains on them.

I opened the door.

"Dean I am fine." I say.

"Cas…what…cas?" Dean says bewildered.

He looks at me, I see his emerald eyes water.

He raises his hand and smacks me in the face, just hard enough for it to hurt, then he wrapped his arms around me.

I stand there frozen, not exactly knowing what to do next.

I hear sobbing.

"Cas…how could you…are you ok..." He says as he looks into my eyes.

I see the tears streaming down his face.

"Don't you know how important you are to me? I can't lose you." He says sobbing.

I am still like a statue. I've never seen Dean lose it like this.

And then out of nowhere Dean's lips were on mine, moving furiously and frantically.

I am melting and struggling at the same time.

Dean Winchester is kiss me…..DEAN WINCHESTER IS KISSING ME!

After a minute of like super frantic kissing Dean pulls away.

"Cas I can't do this anymore….I need you…I want you." Dean says pleadingly.

I tried to think rationally as the lingering tingling still danced upon my lips.

"Dean…I do not understand." I say still in shock.

He takes my hand and leads me to the bed. He sits down motioning me to sit beside him. I sit next to him feeling every muscle in my body tense.

"Cas I am gay ok…I've been fighting this for a long time. Hoping I could just push it down, but I can't not anymore. Not with you. I've been so afraid to get close to you, I didn't want to be another notch in your wrist, another person to let you down. I tried to stay my distance, but I just cannot do it. I've always kind of known how you felt about me, I mean I'm not blind. I was still in denial, and yesterday I finally knew. Yes, I was on a date with that girl, but nothing happened. The whole time we lay on the couch I felt like I was betraying you. I felt sick and disgusting. I knew you were upset, I came up last night to really tell you how I felt but I was a wimp and couldn't go through with it. Only now I wish I had, because I could've saved you so much pain." He said stuttering towards the end.

I was speechless, what could I say.

I took my hand to his face slowly rising it to mine and I kissed him like I've never kissed anyone before. I kissed him until my lungs were dry. I kissed him.

We lay in each other's arms lazily for the rest of the day, I even think I may have dozed off a few times. It was beginning to get dark and garth and Bobby would be home soon.

"Dean what will they say if they find us here like this?" I asked.

"I don't really give a damn." He said snuggling into my shoulder.

I laughed. It sounded foreign to my ears, it had felt like ages since I laughed.

"Cas I want you to know that, that stuff you found in the garage was for you." He said.

I smiled.

"Also I am just a lame ass wimp, I'm sorry I didn't have the courage to tell you how I felt before this." He said.

"Dean, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry." I say.

"What the hell are you sorry for?" He asked.

"This…" I say as I lift my wrist up for him to see.

"Oh Cas we all have our flaws. In every single moment we do what we think is right for that time and that space. I cannot fault you for something you felt was right to do at that time, but please for my sanity's sake will you try to do very less of that?" He said with that beautiful smirk on his face.

"Yeah Dean…as long as you stay true to yourself and share the true you with me. No more masks, no more walls. Can you do that?" I ask.

"I can try. Cas I don't trust easily. I don't let people in either because I usually let them down." He says.

"Dean you are a beautiful and amazing person. You will never let me down."