And another SPN fic! A shorter one this time, my first drabble! Hope you enjoy.

Warnings: Language, mentions of character death

Disclaimer: I don't own SPN or the poem mentioned in this fic. I don't make an profit off of this.

Selfishly Unselfish

You saved my life he says I owe you everything.

You don't, I say, you don't owe me squat, let's just get going, let's just get gone, but he's

relentless,

keeps saying I owe you, says Your shoes are filling with your own damn blood,

you must want something, just tell me, and it's yours.

But I can't look at him, can hardly speak,

I took the bullet for all the wrong reasons

~(Wishbone by Richard Siken)

People like to make it noble, courageous, romantic.

It's none of the above.

It's dirty and underhanded and goddamn selfish.

You saved his life but no matter what you tell yourself, no matter what you say out loud, you didn't do it for him. Not really.

You did it for yourself.

You did it cuz you can't live without him.

You're a coward and pathetic, a failure, and you shouldn't even be alive. It isn't natural.

But you've made up for it.

One year and then you're gone. You think it just. You think it righteous.

He keeps looking at you, won't stop staring.

His body and his mouth and his eyes keep screaming why?!

You say something about a promise, words that you swore to your father, a burden that has always been yours to carry.

Watch out for Sammy.

You go on and on like it's complicated, like it isn't the simplest thing in the world.

The simple truth is…

You did it simply because you love him, your baby brother, all the family you have left.

You did it simply because you didn't know how not to.

You did it simply because...love makes you selfishly unselfish and you don't even give a damn.

Let's not talk about it, let's just not talk.

End.

So? How was it? :) Let me know what you think please! Just drop me a few words!

Until next time guys!

~Shadows