After a few days of rest, Janeway and Chakotay were back on the bridge in command of Voyager. They were not together, picking up exactly where they had left off with separate shifts. The crew, already puzzled by their disappearance for several days, whispered even louder in the mess hall and amongst themselves. The illness which had only affected three crew members was being met with even more suspicion and doubt.

Tuvok mentioned the whispers in the privacy of the Captain's ready room. She waved him off having heard it all herself but knew the first person she needed to address it with was Chakotay. She asked Tuvok to have him report to her ready room immediately.

A few minutes later, her ready room door chimed and Janeway called him in. Chakotay walked over and politely sat in the chair she indicated. He watched her rubbed her forehead as she sat down too. She did not look at him and he knew she was trying to find the right words to begin. He decided to help by offering another apology but she stopped him.

She shook her head as she gazed out the window into space. "This situation wasn't our fault. But it's brought up a lot of issues and we need to talk about them."

"Captain," he said.

She put up a hand and said, "Let me say this first." She took a deep breath and turned to face him. Her sad eyes matched his as he waited for her to speak. "You were right about what you said in my quarters. Mark and the rest of my family probably have given up on me by now."

He nodded. "Mine too."

They were silent again for a moment until she leaned back and said, "That hurts to admit out loud, Chakotay. It makes it real."

Chakotay watched her struggle with her emotions and realized that, in the past several days, she had been more vulnerable with him than she ever had allowed herself to be before. He knew the fever had permitted her recent loss of control but this was a real and determinate show of vulnerability on her part and he respected her immensely for it. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"No, I'm sorry. This whole situation and everything we've been through since is my fault."

Chakotay leaned forward. "Captain, we are not going back to this self-blame. I won't let you. You had good reasons for making the decision you did. We are the first crew ever put in a situation like this and we've done damn well so far. You should be proud. "

She sighed and said, "I know and I am. I don't want to debate that anymore. What's done is done. It won't change anything. I just thought when we found that wormhole that we might be able to find another quick way back to get everyone home but…I just don't know anymore."

He smiled and said, "None of us know. We just have to accept our journey as it is and move forward, together."

She nodded. "I realize that now and I thank you for helping me face that. You're a good First Officer, Chakotay. You'd make a fine Captain."

"I already have made a fine Captain but are you planning on going somewhere?"

She smiled and ran her hand along the top of her desk. "No. That's not what I meant."

"Good. Because I'd miss you."

She looked up and smiled. "I…I would miss you too."

"Well don't get all heartbroken about me now."

She chuckled. "No, I really would miss you. You're a good friend and…" She stopped and took a deep breath. "And, in another place, and maybe in another situation, I…I might…"

He grinned and said, "You're not ready to do this, Captain. Besides, I already know what you're trying to say to me."

She looked intently before saying, "Do you? Do you really understand?"

"Yes, I do. I'm a great First Officer, remember?" He reached for her hand but she hesitated and he pulled back. "Captain, I respect that just because you are a galaxy away from your fiancée and the fact that, in all likelihood, he has or will move on eventually, your feelings just don't go away for him. You need time."

She nodded. "Yes, but the other part of what I am saying, Chakotay, is that you and I can never get involved. You know that. We could never run the ship that way."

He sat back in his chair and shook his head. "No, I don't know that. I do know that if I'm going to spend the next sixty or seventy years of my life on this ship that I'm not going to spend it alone."

She straightened in her chair. "Well, then you can take me off your short list of potential bedmates, Commander, because I'm not interested in heading up the rotation."

His dark eyes flashed in anger. "Who said anything about a rotation? I'm talking about a long term committed relationship not a bunch of one night stands." He shifted and added, "So, I guess it's just my professional status you admire but as a human being, you don't think much?"

"No, Commander, but your past history does precede you."

"Are we talking about Seska again?"

Janeway slapped her desk. "No, we are not and never mention that woman to me again!"

Chakotay moved closer and studied her. "I see what you're trying to do, Captain, and it won't work. If you're not interested in me romantically, fine. I can accept that. But you are and you are pushing me away because you're afraid. You have a penchant for punishment."

"Punishment?"

"Yes. You are punishing yourself with a lonely life sentence all because of where we are and how we got here. You haven't heard a word I've said. It's happened. It's done. Maybe we'll find that quick way home and maybe we won't. But I am not going to let you stop living your life because of your self-pity. You enjoyed yourself the other day with me because you let go and gave in to your desires. You gave in to your natural impulses and it felt good. More than good because I'm great, remember?"

Janeway's eyes darted with his as she listened to his words. "I said good, Commander, and you're dismissed."

"From this room, maybe. But not as your friend. Even if that's all I'll ever be to you, I won't let you make this journey home or walk your personal path alone. It's unacceptable and I won't have it. Not as long as I am aboard this ship."

She rose up and leaned forward. "Commander, maybe you missed the part the other day about what you think you will and won't permit me to do. That is never for you to decide for me."

Chakotay rose too and stepped up. With a nod of his head, he said, "And maybe you missed the part where I forced that issue and you gave into me and enjoyed it." He paused and said, "Good Day, Captain."