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Breathing

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Epilogue: Santana's Sweet Release

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You had said the words, you had gotten them out, you had removed that burden of weight from your chest, and you felt free. There didn't seem to be anymore chains shackling you down. There were no more unresolved issues to deal with. There wasn't any more unfinished business to attend to.

You were done.

It was now only a matter of time before the end. You could feel it in your body, the change occuring, until one day, you knew it was happening. The time had come, but rather than be laced with fear like you used to be, you settled down in the hospital bed, and listened to the sound of your breaths.

You were on your last one hundred, and you had made your peace. No one needed to hear anything during that moment. No one needed to see you take your final breath. That moment was between you and your body, one last goodbye as it fought valiantly to keep you going, to keep you breathing, to keep you alive, but it was time to stop. You'd fought enough, you'd tried to survive, and now you were bowing out gracefully.

The drugs in your system were doing a wonderful job of keeping you calm as your body tried hard to keep going, but in your mind you knew this was the moment to let it all go. And as you inhaled that last breath, your final breath, you accepted all that was awaiting you.

It was not game over, you had advanced to another level, one where you were to go back to the start and try again, but this time with the courage to tell the girl you loved her in person, and then go on to complete the last level and win. This last breath, the one leaving your lungs right at that moment, it was your fresh start, your renewal, your hopes and dreams and happiness encased into one breath, and death was your sweet release.

You had told her, in a cowardly and selfish way, but now you were ready to do it all again, to do it in person, to say it to her face, to kiss her softly as you whispered the words again and again, and laugh with her as you shouted them from the rooftops.

You were ready for it all.

And it was with a sharp, gasping breath, you awoke back at the beginning of that level, cold and shivering from the water but hot from the heat of that summer. You broke the water and looked round Quinn's backyard, getting splashed by the others in the pool, but you ignored them. Your eyes sought out the one person you needed to see, and just like that, your eyes met Rachel's.

This time around, you'd tell her.

This time around, you'd get it right.