Slip of the Tongue

featuring John Shepard and Ashley Williams

"We'll What?"

Legend: "speech", Ashley's thoughts

Note: Set after the events of ME2.

"Listen, skipper," she began, nervously looking down. "I know I've been giving you a hard time ever since Horizon. The second anyone mentions the word 'Cerberus' within earshot, it's like everything else gets blocked out. You know how I am, don't you?"

Shepard looked at her with an unreadable look, crossing his arms. "Once maybe, when I hadn't died and come back to life, I could say I did. But you changed, Ashley."

The former gunnery chief raised her voice in defense. "That's not true, Shepard! I haven't changed; I'm still the level-headed soldier that can get the job done for you. I've even gotten better with dealing with those damn government bureaucrats over the years."

"You lost faith in me," the marine uttered silently.

Ashley's eyes widened at the accusation, and knew she could raise a counterargument to that. She did, in fact, become suspicious of her former Commander when they first met. Despite knowing him and having worked with him, she still held him at arms length. "I..." she began, trying to find the right words to say, before dropping her head in defeat. "I did. I should have known better to, but I did."

The room they were in felt cold all of a sudden. I don't think it's the temperature. "Shepard, I've been trying to look up more of the facts since we last met. I know now that you haven't been brainwashed or recruited by those xenophobic Nazis."

"And you made sure to double check all of my claims while you were at it," came the Spectre's low voice. "You wanted to see if my word was still worth something to you."

That hit the woman like a sharp knife. "Your word was always something to me, dammit! I just had to... follow protocol, that's all." Her last few words trailed off. She didn't really like to make excuses, as if they needed more barriers to separate them from each other at this point.

There was a silence before the man in front of her spoke up. "At Horizon, I was still disoriented from being out of action all this time. I was surrounded by people I didn't know, people I never thought I could be in the same room cordially, let alone work with. I reached out to you, Ash – you saw it in my eyes – and you pushed me away." Shepard turned to face the window overlooking the vastness of space, his back turned to her. "You were the first person I fought on the field with that I was able to contact. Do you know how devastated I was after we left?"

The pain was audible in his ears, and something wet and warm began to build in her eyes. Appearances be damned; I can't take it anymore. "I'm sorry, Shepard," she cried, wrapping her arms around his strong waist for dear life. It felt as if he would slip away from her life at any moment. "I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking straight, I didn't even consider what you must have been through. I was so selfish; I just want to take it all back and go back to working with you... to being with you..."

Her Commander said nothing as she continued to tear her defenses down in front of him. Her heart was totally on display, and only at one other time in her life did she let someone other than herself look at her in this state – one magical night two years ago. "Take me back, skipper! You've been the only man on my mind for two whole years. I don't think I could stand another day longer! I don't even care that you've fallen for that suit hugger; just let me be by your side again!"

Slowly, the body of the man she feared she could never touch again stepped forward, leaving an aching emptiness in its wake. Ashley could hear her heart shattering into a million pieces right there. He... made his choice. He can't even stand touching me anymore, she thought in despair, and promptly snapped her head up in surprise when two firm hands held onto her arms. "Shepard?"

"You really have changed, Ash," he spoke softly, a warm expression on his face. "You normally wouldn't give in to your emotions like this. Have you gone soft over the years?"

"Shut up, damn alien lover," the former gunnery chief retorted, not meaning the racist remark. "You're looking at over two years of frustrated woman not having gotten any since her man kicked the bucket." Her eyes couldn't stay on him, and settled for a pocket of shadows in the room. "...I'm afraid you'll push me away for good. I just couldn't imagine that."

"You don't have to worry about that," he replied, returning his hands to his side and developing a relaxed stance. It disappointed her, but knew that it was time to learn how to be more professional in front of him; She was there when I wasn't, after all. He's made his decision, and I need to respect that. "My crew always needs dependable heads like yours. I'd love to welcome you to the SR-2, Gunnery Chief Williams."

The woman smiled affectionately at the title. It was outdated as hell, but she enjoyed the nostalgia coming from hearing her be called that, particularly by her Commander, after so long. "Looks like you'll need a bit more debriefing on the latest developments, skipper. I'm not a Gunnery Chief anymore, and I'll be damned if you give me a shit job just 'cuz you can."

"I'll have you know that the sanitation and food delivery engineering position pays highly and is a very well-regarded job aboard my ship, Williams," Shepard replied playfully. Both chuckled lightheartedly; this was the atmosphere she was longing for so long. "I've got some more checkups I need to go over with my crew. I'll see you on the Normandy in 30 minutes." Turning to leave, Ashley watched his large back with a smile.

"We'll bang, okay?"

Ashley blinked. "What did you just say, skipper?"

"I said I have to go." Shepard cleared his throat and promptly left the area. The woman just stared in confusion, scratching her head. Maybe not everything was going to be just like old times.

fin

Just a blurb I thought after watching one too many episode's of Gamer Poop on Youtube. It gets me every time; I just had to type a quick one out. It went a bit longer than I expected; I just really love a) dialogue and b) a dash of hurt/comfort relating to the transgressions done to our resurrected hero. I still hope the inside-ish joke made its impact by the end. Tell me if it did, or what didn't work for you if it didn't.

About my work on my current in-progress stories (Liberating Effects and Misadventures), I'll see if this Christmas break will give me enough uninterrupted free time to work on it. I promise I won't leave it to collect dust forever; the stories I want to tell will not be denied freedom from my mind.