"No…no…no, no, no…Oh, God, no, no-"

"Shut up – what is wrong with you?!" I yelled from the flea's spacious living room. I had my feet propped up on his couch, against his wishes, of course, and my mind was beginning to lapse into a dark space several times as my eyes were starting to close. The slow and easy road to sleep threw my dozing car off its highway when I heard whimpering coming from Izaya's bathroom. His laments were getting frantic by the second, and frankly, my veins were practically begging me to let them burst apart.

Suddenly, the cause of the sky-rocket of my temper rushed in the room, hot tears bubbling in his eyes.

"Sh-sh-sh-shizuo…!" he blubbered, "I-I…I guh…gah….m-my f-f-fa-"

"Dude, I can't understand you!" I said angrily getting up from the leathery throne. Tears were now coming out in buckets from his crimson eyes as he hiccupped violently. He tried to speak again but was racked by another wave of forceful sobs.

"Mah…m-mah, my-my fa-fa…!"

I scoffed and mocked him, "What - 'Mah, mah, mah, poker face'?! What's the matter with you?!"

His cries didn't stop, his cheeks flushing a bright red from his wails, and I was just about to throw him out of his own house. Trying to create a relieving juncture with Izaya Orihara is far from pointless when he's in despair. When in this state, his speech can be the most maddening thing to deal with, not just the dramatic crying. The type of lexicon he learned all his weary words from, I will never know…

I sighed, almost about to claim defeat and leave him alone, until I heard a soft, hiccupped sigh.

"Ah…ah…my…" a gulp, "My…my face is…"

"What? What about your face?" I asked unconsciously tapping my foot in frustration, "Why were you whining and crying in the bathroom?"

A few more sniffles, then the truth finally let itself out of the raven's mouth.

"I…I have…I HAVE A MOLE!"

…

"…A mole…? You are crying-"

"But Shizu-chan-"

"NO – you are crying…over a freaking…mole? Just a small…brownish dot on your face?"

A nervous sniffle rang through the silent latitude of the room, but he nodded slowly nonetheless.

People who know me really well, like Shinra, Celty, and Kyohei, also know that I hate never-ending sob stories, BUT…it makes me even madder when the subject of those tales are completely trivial. If I wanted to hear those types of stories throughout the day, I'd just read the Twilight series, maybe even choose between Team Edward and Team Jacob, even though I wish everyone in that book would go with the "Romeo and Juliet" legacy and just die already. It's dark to think that way, but I'm not the only one that wants it to happen.

I put my head in my hands and took a deep breath, careful not to explode in front of the boy I reluctantly call one of my best friends.

"Izaya…" I exhaled slowly, "It is just…a mole…"

He got frantic all over again, "But-but-but it wasn't there before! Moles don't just pop up and decide to hang out on people's faces! They're almost like wannabe zits, except moles stick with ya' for a loooong time!"

"…Where exactly…is the mole, Izaya?"

The smaller teen wiped his eyes one last time before tilting his chin upward to the right a bit and pointing a spot near his lower left earlobe. Sure enough, there was a little mole resting about a hair away from the base of his ear. It did indeed look like it just sprouted up, but it was very tiny and didn't look malignant either.

"See? Didn't I tell you?!" Izaya widened his eyes to look at the caramel spot, "What if I have…cancer?! OH, GOD –WHY ME?! I'm only seventeen, a high-achieving honors student who's also the class president and-"

I rolled my mocha orbs way up into my head, almost getting them stuck, "Izaya, the thing is benign, but if you don't want me saying that, then why don't you go talk to Shinra, 'kay?"

I didn't even wait for his response as I paced back over to my sleeping spot on his couch. The leather was quite malleable, seeing as though as it still had a dent from where I was laying before, and I sat down immediately stretching out and yawning. Weekends are my lazy days, and boy, waiting all week for school to be out really paid off.

When I closed my eyes again, I felt a strange feeling that something wasn't right. Like some sort of…demonic aura was hovering over me and spreading out through the entire room.

I rolled one looping eye up to meet Izaya's crimson ones, blazed and absolutely livid. I could've sworn I heard his teeth grinding against each other trying to contain his frenzied anger. I'm eighteen and all, but Izaya's death-like stare was scaring me, so I shifted uncomfortably.

"…W-what…is it?"

"I absolutely loathe this mark on my face." He said calmly yet heatedly.

"…Yeah…?"

He leaned in close to my face and whispered behind bared chops.

"Fix. It."

I jumped up, nearly bashing my forehead with his.

"'Fix it?!'" I yelled, "How am I supposed to fix something that's as natural as breathing air?!"

"A mole just magically appearing on my face is far from natural!"

"You may have been out in the sun too long!" I tried to compromise, "Didn't you have track practice all last week for at least two to three hours a day?"

He brightened his eyes in sudden realization, and stood up straighter to place his finger on his cheek.

"I suppose…it was extremely hot as well…"

"Mm-hmm, "I nodded, hoping to end this mindless conversation quickly, "Sunlight does that to you, and besides, don't think of it as a flaw on your face. Think of it as…"

He leaned in closer, "As what, Shizu-chan?"

I didn't want to say it, but I was in desperate need for some sleep.

"A, um…beauty mark…?"

Izaya's crimson orbs, which once held the mark of my impending death, danced and sparkled in an excited fashion. If Izaya was stranded on a deserted island with nothing to eat or drink, he probably could survive off of compliments. He's just that narcissistic…

"Aw~!" he squealed, "Thanks, Shizu-chan~! That's so sweet!"

I mumbled something that even I couldn't figure out and plopped back on the couch. The flea said something about changing his clothes for something or other – I don't know since my left ear was squished closed in the couch cushion and I was partially deaf in the other.

A minute passed. Then two more, three, and four more still. It was a new record. Smiling with deep satisfaction and comforting pleasure, I began to see the road again, this time, much smoother and all fluffed up.

"Ah…absolutely. Perfect." I said happily to myself.

Almost there, nothing stopping me now. Absolutely noth-

"AAAAH! Shi-shi-Shizuo! I-I-I got fat - I can't fit into my jeans!"

…

"Mother of Almighty God…"

'Nother Vocab assignment, nothing special, really...BTW, with the whole partially deaf thing, I just added that in. It's not canon or anything.