What happens when you jump blindfolded into an abyss? Are you not subjected to the laws of gravity? Does the impact not seal your fate? Why this agitation, this unease? There is no need to see where you are headed. Sensing your doom is no different from staring it right in the face. The end result is the same. You shall be engulfed by the abyss. And you cannot oppose it. Because you yourself have chosen to soar into it.

Illumination

[POV: Lieutenant]

The weak flicker of the candle danced rebelliously on the walls as I struggled to clean my armour in the near-darkness. I had forgotten. The day had been exhausting and my mind had been filled with thoughts of revenge, making me forget my own rituals.
I soon heard footsteps in the corridor. I knew he was there. He could perceive even the faintest glow of a light in the distance, like a lone sailor in the middle of an ocean.
"You are up uncommonly late, old friend," Amon said as he stood behind me.
I turned to look at him.
"Y-Yes," I replied, as though I'd been startled. "I realized I forgot to clean my armour and got out of bed to take care of it. We had a very... challenging day and it somehow slipped my mind."
"It isn't like you to forget your old soldier's habit."
"Indeed it isn't," I said, resuming my polishing. "I don't know how it happened. I usually cannot go to sleep until I have cleaned my armour. They might have declared me a deserter and denied me the rank I should have received, but along with my war skills, my soldier's etiquette will always belong to me."
"That is a very valuable habit; it denotes self-respect and discipline. Two crucial qualities without which it is useless to undertake anything at all in life."
Amon walked passed me to sit at the other end of the table.
"I agree," I said, his words still echoing through my head as I kept cleaning my armour.
I finally glanced up and saw my leader with his elbows on the table, hand over mask.
"But what are you doing still awake at this hour, Amon? Have you been... not sleeping again?"
His yellow eyes met mine, though one of them was drowned in the shadow of his mask and remained hidden.
"I cannot sleep," he declared. "My psyche is endlessly simmering with thoughts of the revolution."
Not again. Such recklessness. Lessons never learned, battles always renewed.
"You cannot expect me to sit and watch while you destroy yourself," I said, my voice tense with outrage. "I will not have you collapse like you did last time. You hadn't slept in two weeks. Two weeks, Amon. How long has it been now?
"I don't know. Five days, perhaps."
His nonchalant demanour only angered me more.
"It is unacceptable. We need you to have all your strength, for what would we do without you to lead us? Without you to inspire us? Without you to equalize those odious, bastard benders?"
"I appreciate your concern, but I feel perfectly fine. In fact, I've never felt better, stronger or more lucid than I do now."
"But you must take better care of your health. You must try to - "
"I cannot help it, Lieutenant," he said, interrupting me. "And even if I could, I wouldn't want to. It is the price I must pay for what I can do."
I held my breath and sustained his gaze.
"What… What do you mean?"
"I never did tell you, did I? About how I learned to equalize. You never asked."
"I…I never dared to. And I didn't think it was necessary I should know. Why should I presume to have the right to know all of your secrets? You told me of your suffering, of your loss. You saved my life and gave it a new meaning. You conferred me the rank I was denied. What more could I ask of you, but to lead me? I pledged my existence to you and our glorious cause, and I will follow you in battle to the grave, if I must."
"But perhaps you should know. Perhaps I should tell you about my illumination, so that you may understand me better, Lieutenant."

"Where to begin. As you know, in the time of my exile, I traveled the world to gather as much knowledge as I could, the fire of our ideals already burning silently within me. One day, the hands of fate brought me to a mountain range in the southern Earth Kingdom, not too far from the old town of Gaoling, I believe.

I was tired and hungry, and desperate to find a place to rest, but I was utterly alone on those unwelcoming cliffs. The red sun was setting, mocking me and my foolish ambition. I wanted to make it across to the next village, but I felt my strength desert me with each step.
I kept on walking regardless, until - at last - I saw the silhouette of a man in the distance.

This lonely figure I beheld at dawn was just like me, cast aside and shunned because an ugliness was seen in him. In his case, he had a gift benders and non-benders alike feared. He was a master of hypnosis and an illusionist.
It was he that would become my teacher. He was a madman, a genious, a prodigy. His name was Tao.

Drawing nearer, I found him in a trance, sitting at the edge of a cliff, speaking to the wind. I did not dare interrupt him, but I needed shelter and my feet would carry me no longer. So I sat by him and waited.
When he finally emerged from his daze, he sensed my presence and called me an intruder. He said he had come to this mountain to live in solitude and contemplation, and that I had no right to be there. Because I would not move, he suddenly paced towards me and declared, yes, declared: 'You will leave this place immediately.'

I believe that he wanted to hypnotize me. He reached out for my forehead, but then he saw my mask.
He stood before me with an inquisitive, crazed look in his eyes and asked me if Koh has stolen my face. I did not know what he meant, so I simply told him that firebenders had stolen my face and my soul. "Nonsense", he replied. I can see your soul right through your wretched, yellow eyes. It is ripped and torn like sails of a ship that was caught in a merciless storm."

The truth of his words shook me. Tao backed away, no longer seeing me as a threat. I felt compelled to tell him my story, and in exchange, he told me his. Long ago, he'd been chased away from his own village, because people feared his gift and thought it evil. But he had been given it by the spirits themselves. As a boy, he had demonstrated natural inclination for the arts of the mind. When he was 6 years old, he could could influence people's perception, making them believe he could bend spoons. By the age of 19, he had already read most of the literature on hypnosis and mind control and had completely immersed himself in their practice.
Tao's talent captured the attention of five spirits whose names were never revealed to me. They were the ones who, when he grew older and wiser, gave him the power of creating the most fantastic of illusions. They wanted him to show the incredulous mortals a glimpse of the spirit world, because they believed the mortals would be less resistant if it came from one of their own.
They were wrong. Tao was quickly declared dangerous and his show was forbidden. How could a man produce such elaborate visions? What insidious trickery, what perverse manipulation of the psyche was he employing? How dare he trifle with their minds? If spirits had indeed granted him such powers, they were surely evil. Some people are too proud to accept to have their weak minds elevated. They would rather rot in their own base concepts of reality. Tao was brutally beaten and chased from the village, and every other place where he tried to perform his act, for his reputation preceded him everywhere. So he went to the mountains, away from the rest of the world that hated him so. And he had been living there, secluded, in poverty and misery, under the roof of a run-down, improvised home ever since.

Tao sensed something in me and offered his hospitality. He said that I had unusual spiritual strength, not unlike that which he'd had as a child, and that perhaps he could teach me what he knew. If the spirits found me worthy, they would surely allow me to learn. Ultimately, they would help me find a use for my skill.
And so I stayed with him, for I believed it would be useful. He taught me about the dark arts of hypnosis and mind control. He also taught me about the light chakra, about insight and illusion. I found myself able to to things I never dreamed I could do, though in practice, I never reached Tao's level. I was far from it.

However, about a year later, Tao said that I had nothing more to learn from him. I could manipulate people's will with persuasion - a light form of hypnosis. I was also able to invade their psyche and I knew how to impose illusion upon the light chakra. But Tao did not believe that the spirits would grant me to create spectacular illusions so that I could put on shows for the mortals like he had done. He believed that they wanted something else from me. The little I'd acquired - for according to him there was no question that the spirits had allowed me to learn - was to be used otherwise. So Tao sent me away to find it out on my own.
I gladly left, for my time with Tao had not been particularly pleasant. There were many things that were wrong about him. Many things that I hated. He was also growing more insane each day, getting lost in multiplying fits of delirium for hours on end, leaving me there wondering when he'd come back to reality. Perhaps I even doubted what he had said about the spirits. But all in all, I had acquired new knowledge and believed it was indeed time for me to move on. I know now that in making me his apprentice, Tao had followed the will of the spirits.

Indeed, soon after I had left the mountains, the spirits manifested themselves to me in the Si Wong desert. It was on the day of the summer solstice.
I still don't know how I had the strength to cross those burning dunes all by myself. I had ventured through the desert knowing it could mean the end of me, and somehow, I didn't care. If I was to be erased by the sand, then so be it. It would have meant that I was weak and that I deserved to die. The desert would simply finish what the firebenders had started so many years ago, when they swarmed into the home of a family of poor, defenseless farmers and destroyed their peace forever.

I walked day and night, until I became so exhausted that I fell to my knees by a large crater. And that's when they chose to appear before me in a vision.
The five spirits who had given Tao his powers. In that instant I knew it was them, and I cursed myself for all the doubts I might had had about their existence. They stood there, those vague, dark forms, observing, contemplating, as though they could see my scars behind the mask. They seemed to be wearing masks themselves, as though they wanted me to feel at ease in their presence. As though I was to think of myself as their equal. "Rise", one of them said, and they told me that they knew about my suffering. They said that after the affront of denial, the spirits were now faced with an even greater offense. Some mortals had indeed come to think of themselves as higher beings than the spirits, using their bending abilities idly, or to claim supremacy over others. They said that in time their gift had become a vice. Benders had been infected with arrogance and had become impure. They had created chaos and disorder and their bending had to be removed. It was time for someone to cleanse the world of their impurity. The spirits who disagreed were just as corrupt as the benders.
The figures all began to speak at the same time, causing me unbearable pain. But the streams of their cavernous voices intertwined in my head, until they finally became one. It called my name. I felt my body gently floating upwards, though my feet were still firmly dug into the sand. My eyes were assailed with light and a cold wave rushed through me. Everything became clear, like the eternal fog had lifted from my mind.
That's when I blacked out. The illumination had been all too powerful, all too sudden for my mortal mind. I saw my mother, felt her gentle embrace. And then I felt my face burning all over again. The bender's transgressions against me were renewed.

When I woke up, I was alone. But not for long. A small group of sandbending desert-dwellers attacked me. It all happened so fast. One of them moved in towards me.
I dodged his attack, grabbed him by the back of the neck and touched his forehead like Tao had taught me. I wanted to try to impose the illusion of his allies turning against him. That way, I could better persuade him to bury them and himself under the sand. But upon entering his psyche, something else happened instead.

I took his bending away.

Oh, how he screamed when he realized what I had done to him. Like I had just ripped his soul out of his body. The cowards amongst his companions fled like rats. The braver ones, I equalized. I would no longer endure the tyranny of benders. No pity, no compassion for the depraved. From then on, I knew that the spirits had found me worthy. And I knew what I had to do with my life. All the knowledge I had gathered in my travels, all the training I had been through had led up to that moment. I was going to start a revolution."

[POV: Amon]

The Lieutenant gazed at me in silence, completely absorbed by my story. I had never told it to anyone before. Not in such detail. The parts I had omitted did not matter. He now knew me better than anyone else in the world.
"Insomnia, Lieutenant, is a price I must pay for my ability," I continued. "When I equalize, I momentarily enter the subject's mind. I introduce a permanent illusion in the subconscious, blocking insight in the light chakra. So in time my own mind becomes restless, as it cannot bear to be confined to its own realm anymore. The more I equalize, the less I will sleep. A small sacrifice, considering that Tao lost his sanity in exchange for the gift he was given. I am not a spirit, Lieutenant. I have the limitations of a mortal. But I am dedicated to our cause, and I will keep on doing what is necessary for the Revolution."
He finally spoke, placing a hand over his heart, as though he were about to swear an oath.
"I... I understand. And I am honoured that you have shared your story with me, Amon. Deeply honoured."
"It was only natural that you should know. We are friends, after all, are we not?"
"Yes. And that is why, despite what you have told me, I feel the need to insist that you should take care of yourself. Perhaps if you took a break from mass equalizing?"
"That is out of the question."
"But you will collapse again."
"I will collapse and recover. Then I will collapse and recover again. And again… It is to be the cycle of my life."
"Promise me that you will rest, at least. Lie down on your bed and do not exert yourself. Promise me."
His concern for me was so pathetic. So misplaced.
"I promise," I replied, rising to my feet. "Now I will bid you good night, Lieutenant."
He rose with me. As I walked passed him, he spoke again.
"Good night. Amon?"
"Yes?"
"May I ask what happened to Tao? Did you ever… see him again?"
"I did. Tao was an earthbender. So I returned to the mountains and equalized him. It was no easy task, for his mind was a sinister gallery of twists and turns. It offered much resistance. But in the end, the spirits favoured me."
He searched for his words, killing the impulse of his morality and convincing himself of the false righteousness of an act of treason. I had conditioned him well.
"It…It was the right thing to do, my leader."
I started walking away.
"Well, you go and rest now, sir. Alright?"
"I will. Good night," I replied, then closed the door behind me.
When I got to my cold, empty room, I took off my tunic, my undershirt, my armour, my mask. I put them on the bed and scoffed at the Lieutenant's plea.
I would not rest that night. In the darkness, I dropped to the ground and began doing pushups.

I was not one to waste my time.