"Scream all you want, Miss Richie, I'm afraid nobody can hear you!"
The large chamber of Evil Lair echoed with Megamind's proclamation as the bag was yanked from the brunette reporter's head. She sighed heavily and blinked, her eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness. The room was silent as she stared at the blue alien, irritation clear on her face. He watched her eagerly, as though he expected that the terror of her situation would suddenly dawn upon her and she'd finally oblige him with the screams he sought so desperately each time they did this.
Or, rather, each time he did this to her. Which was a lot.
It had to be the third time this month.
"Really, Megamind?" Roxanne asked with a droll and exasperated voice. "Do you really think I'm going to scream for you?" The blue alien squirmed in his chair uncomfortably as she confronted him with the harsh reality. He glanced insecurely over to Minion, who was standing beside the woman, the bag clutched in his large mechanical hand. The large shoulders simply shrugged.
"I have never screamed in all the years we've been doing this," she continued, sighing,"What could make you possibly think I'm going to start now?" she asked, her voice weary as she lifting an eyebrow at him in annoyance.
Megamind's jaw slackened while he thought about her question. The sassy reporter tilted her head, waiting patiently for his answer, her eyes drilling into him unwaveringly. His expression sank under the weight of her assertion as her stare took its toll. Her smirk grew more, the further his smile faded.
Suddenly he snapped his fingers and pointed at her accusingly, leaning forward in the chair.
"That's not true!" he proclaimed, as his eyes flew open in excitement. He met her gaze sharply with a smirk of his own and Roxanne sat back, her expression suddenly one of apprehension. "You did scream once, I remember it quite clearly!" She furrowed her brow in disbelief and distress when he refuted her claim with this charge. Clearly, she was at a loss by his reference.
Megamind said nothing more, but crossed his arms triumphantly and leaned back in his chair. He took his turn to smirk at her now and waited patiently, knowing the memory would return to her shortly.
"You did scream, Miss Richie," Minion confirmed, trying to be helpful to his boss. She glanced up at the fish with the same irate expression, then looked back at Megamind.
Roxanne sat up straight in her chair, her indignant posture clearly indicating that she would have crossed her arms in answer, if they weren't so typically bound behind her. Her brown eyebrows knitted together in confusion as she stared at his celebratory grin, her irritation growing by the second. Suddenly it came to her.
"NO," she protested firmly, frowning as his smirk grew six times more wicked when he saw the recognition on her face. "THAT does NOT count."
Megamind sat forward on the very edge of his chair, gripping its armrests as a giddy expression lit his face while he pressed his advantage. "Oh, yes it does. You screamed!" he answered with a gleeful voice.
"Your stupid machine jabbed me in the butt!" she complained bitterly, the embarrassment from the years old incident now suddenly just as fresh as it was then. Her mortification was apparent on her cheeks as she flushed from the tips of her ears all the way down to the somewhat low cut neck of her dress.
During that kidnapping so long ago, one of his machines had experienced a typical Megamind malfunction, but this one had been a little too close to her at the time. A part shot out when the apparatus experienced a small bang, like the backfire of a car. Said projectile did, indeed, jab her in the butt.
No skin was broken but it tore her skirt, leaving a big hole where a considerable amount of her tender, curved flesh was quite visible. It even left a small bruise, and she felt mild discomfort for the next week or more whenever she tried to sit on that cheek.
The awkwardness that ensued had been embarrassing to them all, and the situation was not made better by the phallic shape of the machine's offending, ejected part. Roxanne had to admit, however, that Megamind and Minion both did their best to accommodate her and make up for it, behaving like perfect gentlemen.
Well, almost.
Though she never said anything about it to anyone, she still swears to this day that she more than once caught Megamind staring at her bared behind, before all was said and done.
Her skin flushed a deeper crimson yet as the memory washed over her in full detail, as crisp as if it were yesterday. The blue alien grinned further at the sight of her reaction.
She protested further, "I wasn't scared, it surprised me!"
"Oh yes, I'm sure you were only 'surprised', and not terrified by my eeevil machine!" he answered gleefully, making air quotes with his fingers as he said the word 'surprised'.
Fuming, she added bitterly, "and, it hurt! But more than anything, it was embarrassing!
"Well as I told you then, I'm sorry you were hurt and embarrassed. BUT," he paused, snickering when he used that word, while Roxanne only rolled her eyes and seethed even more at his juvenile and rather lame pun, "be that as it may, you screamed!" he answered with a mirthful voice while Roxanne fumed, her brow now creasing in anger as he started a small bout of maniacal laughing at his at his apparent triumph. He glanced over at Minion who only half grinned at this turn of the banter, the fish looking more uneasy than anything by the memory of Roxanne's humiliation.
All the while, the reporter fixed them both with a disapproving glare, the flush of her chagrin still bright on her cheeks and ears. She stewed in frustration for a few moments. Setting her jaw, she decided she'd had enough of being on the defensive. Two could play this game.
Lifting an eyebrow, Roxanne's lips twisted in a vicious smirk as she fired back.
"Fine. So you admit that the only way you can make me scream is to poke me in the ass?"
Megamind's laughter turned to loud fits of choking as her tone left no doubt the double entendre that she had fully intended. The bag fell as Minion's hands both flew to cover his mouth, the fish half shrieking a gasp in innocent shock at her naughty undertone. Roxanne smugly grinned as she watched with satisfaction the lavender flush that instantly covered the blue alien's cheeks, neck, and ears. His eyes were wide as he stared at her in disbelief while he half choked, half stammered protestations in a stream of incoherent babble.
Roxanne said nothing, but grinned with satisfaction. He stumbled over his own half-formed words, their eyes locked as his embarrassment grew with each passing moment, and along with it, her wickedly pleased smile. Minion stood quiet as a mouse, his hands unmoved from his mouth as he looked back and forth from reporter to his boss and back, repeatedly, his eyes wide as saucers.
Finally, Megamind stood in frustration, the sudden motion sending his chair wheeling away as he cleared his throat conspicuously. "Oh, let's just call your boyfriend in tights and light this party!" He stared down at Miss Richie as her smile bloomed into sweet amusement at him. He frowned at her and crossed his arms at her adoring smile while Minion continued to look from his friend down to the woman and back again.
"Well?!" Megamind complained bitterly to Minion, forcing himself to look away from Roxanne's adorable smile. Why was it so hard to take his eyes off of her?
Jumping at Megamind's impatient bark, Minion scurried over to the console and started to work various controls.
"So what is it this week, Megamind?" Roxanne asked with considerably less interest, this week's scheme being far less entertaining to her than their banter. Not that she found the banter interesting or engaging. No, she never enjoyed that, she told herself. It was just...less boring to her then the evil plot du jour.
"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" Megamind crowed, walking over to her slowly. He grinned as he approached, joining his hands behind his back.
"Not really," she muttered.
"That way you can tell your boyfriend when he gets here?" he asked further with a chuckle as he leaned down to come near her. "Not that it would help. He's doomed this time," the blue alien assured her with a low voice as he came within inches of her face. Roxanne's breath didn't quicken, she assured herself. It was...chilly. Yes, that was it.
The cold would also explain her goosebumps.
Green eyes stared into blues as he smirked at her, chuckling softly. Her eyes were equally playful, her smile lilting. "Is it another giant robot?" she asked sarcastically with feigned excitement, "Maybe with spikes?" His eyes narrowed slightly at her as she continued, his smile fading slightly. "Ooh, ooh! I know! You could put a laser or two on it, just to make it original!" There had been at least 3 robots this year alone with spikes and lasers.
Megamind seemed unfazed by her accusations of the banality of his evil, though her nearness had succeeded in increasing his pulse, as always. He breathed in the scent of her as he hovered near her face, his gaze still locked with hers as she smirked at him. She lifted her eyebrows as he stared back in silence.
"You can guess all you want, but you'll never figure it out," he finally answered with more confidence than she expected. Her eyebrows lifted even higher.
"Oh?" Roxanne asked, "are you finally going to do something unexpected?" she smirked all the more as he stared back at her. Somehow she hadn't noticed how much closer he had leaned in, or how much faster her breath was coming.
He chuckled deeply, but that definitely did not send that chill down her spine. "You'll just have to wait and see..." he told her in a low voice, smiling from ear to ear.
Roxanne's heart pounded in her ears as she stared into those intense emerald eyes, her breath catching in her throat as he stared at her wordlessly, the distance seemed to diminish even more, to almost nothing.
"We're ready to transmit, sir!" Minion's sudden yell broke the trance they had both fallen into. They both jumped at the sound of his voice, Roxanne blinking as she wondered what had just happened, while Megamind straightened bolt upright as if he was caught doing something he shouldn't have been. He struck his head against the light hanging low above Roxanne and her chair, the metallic bang of his head on the rim ringing through Evil Lair as he cried out.
"OW! My giant blue head!" He shouted out in pain as the lamb swung out on it's chain, sending the light flying away, casting long shadows about the two of them.
Roxanne couldn't help but smile, even as she winced at his plight, sucking in her breath as she saw the lamp come back at him. "Megamind!" she tried to warn him, but only managed to divert his attention towards her, instead of to the pendulum swinging for its second strike on his azure noggin.
"What?!" he answered with irritation just as she blurted, "lookout!" at exactly the same time the lamp struck his head again.
"OWWWWW!" he cried out again, longer this time as the second blow rang out. Roxanne bit her lip, her expression painted with sympathy for his plight, mixed with amusement at his awkward antics. She tried very hard to suppress her giggles, only partly succeeding.
"Maybe we should just call it a day, huh? You can send me home early and nurse your lumps?" she asked. "I mean, if you can't handle the lamp, you're probably not up to taking on Metro Man..."
Megamind spun around to glare at her as he reached out and grabbed the swinging lamp, cutting short its third try for his skull. The blue man scowled at her, but deep down he found himself unable to stay angry as she smiled at him so sweetly.
Of course, he wasn't about to close down now, or let her see the way her smile melted his anger away. He frowned at her.
"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" he asked bitterly.
"Yeah, actually I would," she started to answer with a flat tone, but he talked over her.
"Sadly for you, evil has only disregard for the desires of its victims," he continued in a lofty tone.
"I'd noticed the disregard," she butted in, now sounding truly annoyed and adding, "but evil? Come on, Megamind, you don't even come close." His rants about being evil always put her in a bad mood.
Crossing his arms, he huffed at her indignantly, "I'll have you know I'm very evil!"
"Puhleeze!" she barked back in a bitterly sardonic voice.
"I'm the super villain for an entire city!" he proudly proclaimed, lifting his chin to look down his nose at her.
"Nobody else in the city claims to be a villain," she answered drolly, meeting his gaze, "you kinda got the position by default."
"I leave the population quaking in terror!", he rebutted emphatically.
"Because your inventions tend to blow up when they're not supposed to!" she shot back quickly.
"I have 73 life sentences!" he declared smugly.
"For kidnapping me, attempted murder against Metroman, who's invulnerable by the way, theft, and property damage with wanton destruction." She snapped back. "No charges of murder, manslaughter, or anything like that..."
"I've created monstrosities of evil that are abominations of science and nature!" he cried desperately, his expression looking desperate as his voice growing louder. He gesticulated wildly to make his point as he realized that he was losing to her wit yet again.
"So what?! They've never actually hurt anybody! Neither have you!" she shot back impatiently, blurting the words out in frustration, realizing too late it was a foolish rebuke. Of course he'd hurt people. He must have. He was the villain.
She paused, waiting for his reply that would shut her down.
But Megamind froze at her charge, shocked to silence. Roxanne hesitated, then blinked in surprise as her own hasty words sunk in, her brow furrowing as the silence grew.
Tilting her head slightly, she watched him as she waited for his rebuttal, for the bold claim of all those he had hurt or killed. She was greeted with only silence as he looked at her uncomfortably.
"You never have really tried to hurt anyone, have you?" she asked slowly, with a dawning realization. Megamind raised a finger and was about to say something, when she quickly added, "besides Metroman!" He froze, swallowed, then dropped his hand and slowly shook his head, looking ashamed, trapped.
Lifting an eyebrow as the enormity of it washed over her, she continued slowly as the pieces started to fall into place, "You've never even really tried hurt me, have you? Through all these years of kidnapping...?" He tried to answer, but only managed to silently work his jaw a few times. She watched him intently, as he stood before her, defenseless.
Her stare grew more intense as the idea starting to take root in her mind, the very concept shocking her to the core.
In spite of all his machines that he'd threatened her with, Roxanne had noticed in the back of her mind that they more seemed like props for show than real weapons with intent to do her harm. More than once, in fact, Metroman hadn't quite managed to get to her in time and the evil gadget in question had always misfired or malfunctioned at the last possible moment, failing to harm her.
Slowly it all started to fall into place. For years, she'd watched all his schemes that were doomed from the start. For years, she'd rolled her eyes at all of his shows of villainy that always seemed too flashy, too showy, with no real substance or intent behind them. For years he'd kidnapped her again, and again, but never hurt a hair on her head, not even once. It could only mean one thing.
Megamind was faking it.
He opened his mouth to speak, but before the first sound could come out of his mouth, a piercing, metallic whine began to fill the room. It was a small yet piercing noise at first, but it quickly grew bigger and louder.
The spell between Roxanne and Megamind was broken and the two looked at each other with surprise. Angry disappointment flooded her at the timing, but it was mixed with a feeling of dread at the strange noise which was growing louder. It reminded her of an aircraft diving to earth.
"Megamind..." she began apprehensively, watching his confused expression with increasing alarm. "What are you up to this time?" The question was asked loudly to be heard over the noise as began to overwhelm, her voice laced with worry as the first trembles of fear started to creep into her.
The sound quickly crescendoed to the point of becoming painful.
The look of confusion and fear that she saw on his face filled her with abject terror as he answered simply, with a frightened voice, "That's not me."
Suddenly their world erupted with the deafening roar of an explosion that shook the very foundations of the building, knocking Megamind and Minion off their feet and tipping Roxanne's chair over backwards, sending her crashing down. She screamed as she fell while machinery and furniture toppled about them. The woman cried out in pain as the back of her head bounced on the concrete floor. The lights sparked out, leaving the room pitch black save for the light from smaller explosions inside Evil Lair, sparks flying in the darkness.
Roxanne started to lose consciousness from the blow to her head. As awareness slowly left her, she heard Megamind shouting something, and Minion's voice answering.
The fear she heard in their voices gripped her heart with icey fingers.
Then her world went black.