Realizations

Kensi and Deeks have always had their "thing" – that unspoken non-relationship, always hanging in the air. When things start to change, Kensi realizes that she can't keep Deeks hanging on a string forever.

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles, any of its characters or anything.

His feet hit the pavement, sporadically and frantically, as he sprinted one of his several shoreline jogging routes. He had specifically chosen this route, the one that was mostly against the beach front and most exposed to the cleansing ocean air, to clear his head. Today was a difficult day, to say the least.

X

"So, handsome…" Kensi drawled, dragging one finger up the bicep of the profusely sweating monkey-suited gangster-wannabe. Deeks couldn't help but roll his eyes. Both at the fact that the suspect was wearing a full tuxedo in the height of summer in LA, and at Kensi's shameless flirting. He could feel the guys' eyes boring into the back of his head, and he embarrassedly knew they were 100% aware of his feelings. Feelings that he, Marty Deeks, not once in his life thought he'd experience. At least not at this level.

Jealousy.

As Kensi walked off to the bar to refresh their drinks, she swayed her hips sensually and the douchebags eyes never left her ass. She approached him (dressed in his own ridiculous suit, but certainly more weather-appropriate) as the barman. She ordered a fruity cocktail, which he knew she hated in reality, but which was her alias' fave, and a scotch for the suspect. When she caught his eye as he shifted the glasses closer to her, her eyebrows briefly quirked into a frown, and her eyes became hard and cold as if to ask 'What's your problem?'

In any other situation, he would've let the corners of his mouth curve into a cheeky, crooked smirk (the one he knew she secretly loved) and laid on some cheesy, ineffective line to diffuse the tension. This time he just swallowed and evaded her eyes. When she turned and stalked away, a distinct aggression and anger now in her steps, he didn't even look back at her.

X

It was killing him.

Their "thing". Or rather, the ambiguity of their "thing".

He had flirted with girls platonically before, many times, and remained friends, but this was something different to anything he had ever experienced. Sometimes they were buddies – nothing more or less – that pulled each other's legs and always had a biting back-and-forth battle underway. Other times, it was as if they were at the precipice of going somewhere very, very different. Those times, when they were standing way closer than friends ever would or should, with tension sparking between them and their lips like magnets, pulling together… Those times it was as if they were together. Seriously together… Not the kind of relationships he'd had before.

It's also those times that are probably to blame for his lack of interest in girls these days. He finds himself scoping out talent at the beach, or when entering a bar, less and less. Honestly, if he had any male friends that weren't in the same we-speak-not-of-it cahoots (see Sam, G, and even Eric), he'd probably be labelled and mocked as "whipped".

What a mess he'd gotten himself into…

X

"What the hell was wrong with you today?" She asked, entering the locker room after her de-briefing with Hetty. He's shocked for a minute, still dragging a towel through his hair from his shower and naked from the waist up, wearing his jeans but no shirt.

"What was wrong with me?" He asked, throwing the towel and scouring for his t-shirt in his locker. He could have pointed out how her eyes lingered at his chest a moment too long, but right now he was strangely not in the mood for humour. In fact, his head was throbbing with a hot, angry pressure. If she wanted to pick a fight right now, a fight was what she was going to get.

"When I went to get drinks at the bar, what was up with you? Deeks, that's so unprofessional!"

"What was unprofessional? I didn't say anything, did I?"

"Oh, your face said enough."

"I don't think I was the one to cross any professional boundaries today. I think you were."

"ME?"

"Please, when you went back to the suspects with the drinks, you nearly bit his head off whenever he spoke. Without any reason, other than you'd just gotten drinks at the bar, and the barman didn't chat with you. I'm the one who's unprofessional, Kensi?"

"I was most definitely NOT!" She fumed. They were full-fledged screaming now and he was briefly grateful that the team had left them to scream at each other in peace. "Don't go throwing blame around just because you were…"

The word was left unspoken, but it rang loud and clear in the silence.

He didn't reply to that. He pulled his t-shirt over his head, grabbed his phone and wallet, and strode out of the locker room, and then the building.

X

Jealous.

He wanted to hit himself over the head for it. His behaviour was childish. But how did she expect him to react?

What a mess…

What a complete, total-…

"Woah, Cody, slow down!" Not far ahead from him, he saw a woman pulling at the leash of an extremely enthusiastic retriever, as it pulled excitedly forward and away from her, closer and closer towards him. And closer, and…

"WOAH!" He fell back as the dog jumped onto his chest, the momentum of his movement sending him off-balance and onto his back. The gravel stung his shoulders, but he couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up out of him when the dog started licking his face all over.

"Oh my goodness!" He heard a feminine voice. "Cody, get off! Come on, please…" Was it just him, or was there a tinge of laughter in her voice as well. "I'm so sorry sir, I just…"

"No, it's okay." He said with a chuckle as the woman pulled Cody off of him and clipped the leash that had come loose back into his collar. "It's alright, I'm fine. That's quite the enthusiastic pup you've got there."

"He's a bit excitable. I don't know why he reacted like this, he's usually much more relaxed when we run by the beach."

Deeks pulled himself up and dusted the gravel off of him, and looked up. He was momentarily speechless when he took in the woman next to him for the first time.

"I'm so sorry." She said, smiling a dimpled apologetic smile, and extended a hand to pull him up again.

"That's alright. He probably just smelled my dog, Monty, on me."

"You have a dog too?"

"Yeah. He's a bit older now, so he's not always up for a late-night jog anymore."

She smiled at him. The sun was lowering down into the ocean and the sky was turning a burnt orange, which shone and reflected on her caramel-coloured locks.

"Listen, I was wondering… You know, to apologize for my dog's… if you would like to..?" Her cheeks were tinging an adorable pink, and he deep brown eyes flashing towards a coffee stand close by. He put two and two together.

"Coffee?"

"Only if you like."

"I would… Like that, I mean." He was sure his face was mirroring her blush. The thought the he was very much acting like a teenager with a crush occurred to his, but her stunning smile quickly killed it. "I'm Marty, by the way." He extended a hand to shake.

"Alexis." Her hand was soft and her skin was smooth and he held onto it for a beat longer than was probably appropriate for a handshake. So sue him. She was pretty as hell.

They walked to the coffee cart together with Cody running playfully between them, and drank their coffee on a beachside bench together.

And for the moment, the first moment in a very, very long time, a woman other than Kensi had his undivided attention.

This has been running around in my mind for a long time. It'll be a multichap, hopefully I'll have time to update more regularly than I have the last year. The dog, Cody, is inspired by my own adorable retriever by the same name. Please review and let me know what you guys think!

Much love,

Zanny