Not really sure what to classify this as crack fic, humor, parody; I don't really know so I'll let you decide. I bought RE: ORC and feel in love with Spectre, how can you not love a cannibalistic Russian in a zombie game. I don't own Resident Evil ORC or any of the characters. So basically Wolfpack are brought together for the first time, forced to live together to really get to know each other, Umbrella feels the better they get along, the better their missions will be.

The First Night

Karena "Lupo" LesProux was the first to arrive at the house, or to be correct, mansion. The team leader of Delta team, aka Wolfpack didn't like this, being forced to 'bond' with her new team mates for a set amount of time as an order from the higher ups. If she hadn't needed the large payments that Umbrella paid her for her missions to support her children she would have quite when they told her she was going to be thrown into a mansion provided by Umbrella to 'get to know' her new team mates. It did have its points, if you know someone you can work more comfortably with them and more efficiently but like this, it was just unusual.

Lupo walks into the Foyer, a beautifully decorated with oak tables, vases with flowers, rugs, doors leading to other sections of the house and of course a large stair cares leading up to the second floor. The leader sighs and rubs the back of her head, touching the silky brown hair done up in a bun, this was so frustrating but no use crying over it especially when she gets paid for this. Lupo walks up the stairs and moves down a hallway and opens another door walking into a large bed room with dark red sheets, comforter, and a canopy.

The room itself was rather beautiful a fire place, the large bed, a table, red couch, dresser, bathroom, everything a woman could need for staying in hell for how knows how long. The woman sighs and pulls off her blue glowing mask and throws it on the bed along with her bag, opening the bag and pulling out a file before walking back downstairs and heading to the living room to take a seat on a large leather couch and throwing her feet up on the coffee table.

The woman looks up at the fire place in front of the coffee table and rubs her eyes a bit; this was going to be a very long, very awkward night. As the leader goes to open the file folder a noise puts her on full alert, the sound of footsteps in the room but no one there to cause the sounds. Lupo pulls a pistol out and points it at the area the sound comes from and cocks the gun, ready to shoot.

A blue shimmer appears, followed by a man in black leather and a gas mask with glowing blue eye covers, "You must be our new leader, Lupo. I am Vector, recon." Lupo lowers the gun and puts it back in her belt going back to the file until heavy footsteps fill the room. Vector walks over to a large leather chair and sits down, eyeing the new man that walked in. Lupo eyes the man as well, she couldn't decide what was more intimidating, the man's size, his mask, or the metal left leg.

The man walks over towards the other two, his armor clicking loudly from all the explosives attached to his belt, his boot heavy with each step, seeming to have no difficulty moving despite his metal leg, "Hector 'Beltway' Hivers, demolitions." The man walks over and sits down heavily on the couch next to Lupo.

Lupo sighs, "Lupo, squad commander." Lupo goes to open the file and twitches as her hand lies on the file only to be interrupted by another set of footsteps. Lupo looks up to see an Asian woman with a very interesting mask, two blue glowing 'eye' like parts on the lower part of the mask.

The woman walks up to Lupo and sits next to her, "Christine 'Four Eyes' Yamata, field scientist." The woman looks over the two men and Lupo, "You the team leader?"

Lupo twitches and nods, looking up at the doorway to see if any other person would walk in, waiting for a few minutes before turning back to her file and going to open it, again hearing more footsteps. Lupo closes her eyes and opens them to see a rather intimidating woman in black leather and covered leather gas mask. The woman would be rather well built with blond hair behind her mask and she seems a bit scary.

The woman walks over slowly, almost stalking towards a chair and sits down, all eyes on her, "I am Michaela 'Bertha' Schneider, medic." The woman would have a heavy German accent.

Beltway's glaring mask tilts to the side, "Oh shit, our medic is a dominatrix."

Lupo shakes her head and opens the folder and reads over the thick papers inside as the others side around, seeming to size each other up for the first time. Vector was the first to break the group sizing "Is this all of us?"

Four Eyes looks around, "Isn't there supposed to be three men and three women?"

Beltway puts his feet up on the same table as Lupo, "So we have a slacker, big fucking deal, he'll be dead from the first mission."

Lupo looks up at Beltway, "Not a slacker, according to this file he's getting brought here by Umbrella. The guy is a new transfer from the Umbrella European sector." Lupo would have a French accent as she talks.

Bertha pulls out a pair of forceps from her leather jacket and inspects them, "What use will he be to us?"

Lupo flips a page over, "According to this he is a veteran of the Cold War, an ex Soviet spy. The guy is a Surveillance expert and specializes in long range weapons. Vladimir "Spectre" Bodrovski, Russian, he was transferred from the European branch for unstated reasons but it was under Umbrella's orders."

Beltway waves a hand dismissively, "Just a communist Russian bastard."

Vector leans over and crosses his fingers and puts his elbows on his knees, "Can he speak English?"

Lupo flips through the files, "I can…speak it." Lupo and the other members of the new team Delta look up at the door way to see a man in black cloth and leather, an interesting leather mask on his face, showing goggles and an extended lower mask.

Bertha puts her forceps away and looks up at Spectre, "Spectre I take it?"

The new man nods a bit and moves over to the last chair and sits down, his black combat boots rather quite against the floor. Lupo and the rest of the team take time to size this man up. Spectre was shorter then Vector and Beltway and he seemed lean compared to them, obviously not a heavy combat person.

Lupo puts the file away, "I am Lupo, team commander. Bertha is our medic, Vector is our recon, Four Eyes is our scientist, and Beltway is our demolitions expert. Since we're all here now it's to finish this 'bonding' so we can get onto our first mission, Umbrella wants us to get to know each other, to improve our teamwork."

Four Eyes rubs on a syringe in her hands, "I'd rather be working on my virus samples."

Beltway pulls off a grenade and plays with it in his hands, "I'd rather blow this place up, this is a fucking stupid assignment."

Lupo rubs her temples, "Enough, we have orders to do this so do it and lets be over with it." Lupo looks over at Vector who crosses his arms, then looks over at Spectre who just watches through those odd goggles but remains silent.

Beltway looks over at Spectre, "What's wrong, you too damn good to talk to us?"

Spectre moves his head to look at the larger man, "I have….nothing to say." Spectre's voice heavy with his Russian accent.

Four Eyes watches the Russian, "Why do you keep pausing like that when you talk?"

Spectre gets up and walks towards the doorway, "English…isn't my first language"

Bertha gets up as well, "It's natural to speak a new language slower, makes sure you don't say something unintentional."

Spectre leaves the room and heads upstairs to the room he would choose to stay in. This would be such a horribly long 'mission'.