THE EVIL THAT MEN DO
Author: MeB (aka XanWill4Ever-Michael B)
Email: [email protected]
Spoiler: Majority takes place in the summer after the First Season. There are scenes that takes place some time after Lovers Walk from Season 3.
Pairing: Oz/Willow-at the beginning, and at the end.
Summary: Willow loses her memory and finds help from a private investigator in Boston.
Disclaimer: The characters from Spenser For Hire belong to Robert Parker. All characters from Buffy tVS belong to Joss.
Rating - R xwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxw
As Buffy would say..."This is not gonna be pretty. We're talkin' violence, strong language, adult content." From Welcome To The Hellmouth
A FOREWORD
I don't know about you, but I usually don't read the Foreword of a book. But maybe I should start. I just wanted to type this in on how I felt about writing this story.
I was in the process of writing a different story for the SFA list called The Brotherhood when I saw in the news that Robert Urich had died of cancer at 55. I liked Robert. He was a great actor. My wife and I used to watch Spenser For Hire when it was on Lifetime. I have quite a few of Robert Parker's novels about Spenser and I think of Robert Urich as Spenser when I read them.
I don't know what you can call me. A softie? Crazy? I don't know. But I felt like I should write a story that crosses over Buffy the Vampire Slayer with Spenser For Hire. So I wrote it. It's done, except for the Epilogue, but that will come soon enough. This story took me awhile to write and I have a lot of mixed emotions about it. My wife tells me that as a nurse, nurses make the worst patients. Well, I say that as a writer (wannabe), writers make the worst critics. I loved this story. I hated it. I wanted to keep it going. I wanted to throw it out. I don't understand fully why this is so with this story. Maybe it's because I know that once it's on the list, people are going to read it.
This is different than anything I've ever written before. It deals with some very sensitive issues and there is some strong adult content in this story that I've had to be careful in wording, hence the R setting.
I hope you like this story. If you do, let me know. If you don't, let me know.
I've added things to this story also that mention things that will happen in the Brotherhood. I hope you like that one, too. But that's all the preview you're going to get for Brotherhood.
Tomorrow, the Prologue.
Thank you.
Michael B aka MeB aka XanWill4Ever
Trivia-Sarah Michelle Gellar was on a Spenser For Hire episode called The Company Man in the late '80's.
The Evil That Men Do Prologue Parts 1-15 Epilogue
Prologue
At one time, not too long ago, the library used to be a place where all of the usual gang would hang out and talk about the next horrible demon that had to be dealt with. They would all sit around the table and for the most part, they would enjoy spending that time together as friends. Even as family.
Nowadays, that wasn't the case. If they had to really research something for the Slayer to help her win the next fight, then they would all buckle down and join in the cause in spite of everything. In spite of what Willow Rosenberg and Xander Harris were caught doing in the basement of the old factory Spike had locked them in. It had been a mistake, and they hadn't really gone too far, but the damage was done. And the damage even seemed a little bit irreparable.
Xander Harris was at the library now and he had his History books out and he was actually planning on studying from the books. Something he was not quite accustomed to. Then again, he wasn't quite used to the fact that people were shunning him and they were treating him like a slime-ball, so he had to find some way to occupy his mind. That is where the actual studying came into play. The library was a quiet place, for the most part, when it wasn't inhabited by people who wanted to boil him in oil so he hoped for an uneventful study time.
Fat chance.
The doors swung open to allow two people to gain entrance and they were two people that he truly didn't want to see at the moment. Those two people were Cordelia Chase and Daniel Osbourne, otherwise known as Oz. They walked up to the table and Cordelia was already gracing Xander with one of her looks. The kind of look that was reserved for melting a person on the spot like butter under a hot sun.
"Oh, isn't this just great," Cordelia let out a sigh. "You're here?"
Xander wanted to say something like, "Well, if you can see me through all of that mascara, glamor girl, then it must be true that I am indeed here and not elsewhere." Or he wanted to say something even nastier than that, but he chose not to say anything at all in the end. He continued to pretend that he was studying very hard, and he even turned a page for affect.
Oz didn't say a word to either one of them. He casually walked over to the computer at the end of the table and sat down. He looked at Xander once...just once and wished he hadn't. He had to fight off this strong desire to rip Xander's heart out from his chest. Oz decided to concentrate on his homework instead.
Cordelia continued to glare at Xander with her books in one arm and her other hand on her hip. "Excuse me, but I thought you were going to leave town or something. Maybe the next time Sunnydale sponsers a circus or something, you can join the freaks and leave with them."
Xander glared up at her. He was sorry he had hurt her the way that he did and he had already realized long before now that he could never take it back. Neither could Willow. It was done! So he was guilty in the third degree, but even so, he didn't know how much more of this he could take from Cordelia. She was beginning to revert back to the old days when Cordelia Chase was a real bitch.
He opened his mouth to respond, and that's when Buffy Summers walked in.
"Hi, guys," the perky blonde began cheerfully. "How is my favorite..." She hesitated as she saw their solemn faces. "...scoobies?"
"I really came in here to study for an exam, but that--" Cordelia pointed at Xander. "--should really be in another library in another time zone." She fixed Xander with another red hot glare. "So you were leaving...when?"
Buffy wasn't sure how she was going to continue to deal with this if it went on much longer. Ever since Xander and Willow were caught in the act, her friends were getting farther and farther apart from each other and from her. She didn't want to lose them. If it wasn't for them being in her life, she would have lost her sanity a long time ago.
They were the only ones who knew what she was, a Vampire Slayer. She could talk to them about things that no one else would ever understand. But if the bonds of friendship were truly broken, what kind of hope did they have for a future? She couldn't be what she was without them.
She couldn't do it.
"I'm not going anywhere," Xander told Cordelia through clenched teeth. "Deal with it."
Cordelia glared daggers at him. "Deal with it?" She turned her head to look in Oz' direction. "Oz--"
Oz didn't even look her way. "I'm really trying to study. I don't want to be bothered by this, Cordelia."
"Cordelia, why don't we--" Buffy began, trying to help diffuse a situation.
Cordelia ignored her and she took a few steps toward Oz with disbelief. "Who the hell are you? I thought you were someone who's girl was kissing another boy. How can you sit there and be so calm about this? Doesn't it bother you that Willow was practically on top--"
Oz' patience was gone. He rose to his feet so fast that the chair he had been sitting on crashed to the floor. He glared at Cordelia. "Do you really think I don't care about this?" he asked her. "Do you really think that this doesn't eat me up inside every time I see Willow or Xander?" He paused as he tried desperately to reign in his emotions. "You don't make it any easier when you throw it into my face."
Buffy held up her hands pleadingly. "Guys--" she tried again.
Cordelia was looking at Oz as if he had grown an extra head on his shoulders. "What is your deal? Why are you getting mad at me?"
"Because you are the one who is bringing it up!" Oz snapped. "What are we supposed to do? Leave school or town because we can't share the same room now?"
"They're the ones who should leave, Oz. Not us."
Buffy looked at Xander.
Xander had his head in his hands. He felt so bad about the whole thing. Now he was responsible for Oz and Cordelia fighting.
"It's not going to happen, Cordelia," Oz said impatiently. "We can't ignore them...and I don't want to ignore them. They were my friends. Friends are supposed to stick together...no matter what."
"You are so right, Oz," Buffy said as cheerfully as she could. "We're all friends here, so don't worry. Be happy."
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Oh, God, Buffy. You're not going to sing, are you?"
Buffy frowned. "Uh, no. No singing." She needed help with these guys. "Look...where's Giles? Maybe he has something for me to slay." She said under her breath, "One can only hope."
Xander aimed a thumb toward the back offices. "He's back there."
"Great. I'll just go and check in on him." She waved her hands at them and smiled. "Now you three just play nice. Okay?"
"X-Xander..."
Xander raised his head and he looked. But so did Cordelia, Buffy, and Oz. They all turned their heads to look at the source of that voice.
And there was Willow.
Buffy took a good look at her and she got scared. Something was wrong. Willow looked like a lost and frightened little girl even with her hair short and on her shoulders. Willow's eyes were wide, her steps were hesitant, and she was visibly shaking.
"Willow?" Buffy inquired with concern. "Are you okay?"
Oz was watching Willow with concern, too. As for Cordelia, she didn't notice that there was anything wrong with Willow.
Willow, however, did not hear Buffy. She didn't see her either. Nor did she see Cordelia and Oz. Her eyes were locked onto Xander alone. Xander himself took one look at Willow and he almost turned white. He looked panic-striken.
"Oh, God, not now," he muttered fearfully. "Not ever."
Buffy had heard him. What was going on? she asked herself.
"Xander..." Willow stopped moving. She looked so scared. "Please...I-I need you."
That was it for Cordelia. She tossed her hands up into the air and then she put her hands on her hips. "Oh, that is just so good, Willow. And you once accused me of having no tact?"
"Cordelia," Buffy said in a warning tone.
"What? Since they got caught, they might as well be needy in public now?"
Xander ignored them all. He went to Willow and she grabbed desperately onto his arms as if they were a lifeline.
Oz went around the table and stopped between Buffy and Cordelia. He had a very bad feeling in his gut. "This isn't about us, Cordelia," he said softly, watching Willow with growing concern.
"Xander!" Willow cried out suddenly. Her eyes were full of tears. "P- please, help me!"
Xander put one hand on her shoulder, and he touched her face with the other hand. "I'm here, Willow."
She looked into his eyes. "I-I...I saw what they did!"
It was what Xander had been afraid of. "Oh, God...Willow." He held her face in both hands. "I'm so sorry."
"I saw what they did!" she cried again. "I-I saw what th-they did t-to Kali! I-I saw...I saw wh-what they did!"
Suddenly, she just collapsed.
Xander caught her and he held her in his arms as he lowered her gently to the floor. She sobbed against him, her body shaking uncontrollably. Buffy couldn't stay on the sidelines any more as she was afraid for her friend. She hurried to her friends side with Oz behind her. Cordelia just stood there with her mouth open.
Xander held Willow and he looked at Buffy. There were tears in his own eyes. Then he turned his head. "Giles!" he shouted. "GILES!"
Rupert Giles came out from the back. He took one look at the scene before him and he froze. "Er...Xander, wh-what's wrong with Willow?" he asked.
Xander looked at him desperately. "She remembers, Giles. Willow's memory is returning!"
Buffy stared at him. "Oh, my God. Memory? Xander, what are you talking about? What happened to Willow's memory?"
Giles took Willow from Xander and he gently picked her up. She was still repeating over and over again, "I saw what they did...I-I saw what they did...I saw wh-what they did..."
"Xander, you come with me," Giles said as he carried Willow to the back office.
Buffy, Cordelia, and Oz began to follow.
"Buffy," Giles said to her, "you wait out here with the others."
"What?" Buffy asked in disbelief.
Xander followed Giles and Willow into the office and he closed the door behind them. Buffy stood there and stared at the closed door. She was trying to comprehend what had just happened.
Slowly, she turned and she found Oz and Cordelia watching her. "What just happened here?" she asked them.
Cordelia opened her mouth to say something. Then she closed it. She didn't know what to say. She had been getting used to the idea of being mad at Willow for stealing her boyfriend away from her, but now she found herself being deeply concerned for her.
"She saw what they did to Kali," Oz said softly, trying to work it out in his mind.
Buffy turned her head to look at him. "What?"
Oz paused in thought. "It's what Willow was saying. She saw what they did to Kali." He regarded Buffy and Cordelia. "Who's Kali?"
Buffy shook her head. "I-I...I don't know. Do you, Cordelia?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "No. I don't know any Kali."
Oz frowned as another thought occurred to him. One he didn't like. "Not knowing who Kali is bothers me. But there's something that bothers me more." He paused. "Not knowing who 'they' are."
"Wait!" Buffy held up her hands as if in supplication. When she spoke, there was a catch in her voice. "Just wait a minute! Xander said that Willow's memory was returning. Returning from where? When did Willow get amnesia and none of us knew about it?"
Oz looked at Buffy. "I don't know. Maybe it happened...whatever it is...during the summer before we began to date." He shook his head. "Since I've known Willow, I've never known her to have amnesia...or anything. I would have known if something was wrong."
"Can you be sure of that?" Buffy asked him.
He nodded. "Yes. I can. I'm guessing that something traumatic happened to her. It must have happened during that summer...Your first summer here in Sunnydale."
"Well, I actually spent that summer with my father."
Oz nodded. "Right." He glanced at Cordelia. "The point is...something happened. Whatever it was that did happen, Xander was there. And so was Giles."
Buffy nodded knowingly. "Something happened and they didn't tell us!" She turned to Cordelia. "Did you see Xander and Willow at all that summer?"
Cordelia frowned. Then she said, "I saw them at the Bronze once a few weeks before school started. Xander told me that they had gone to Boston with Giles."
"Boston?" Buffy frowned in thought. "Why did they go to Boston? What happened to--?"
"Buffy."
Buffy, Cordelia, and Oz turned. Giles was standing there and he looked tired.
"Giles," Buffy said as she approached him. "Is Willow okay?"
Giles frowned as he took off his glasses. "I-I gave her something t-to calm her down."
Buffy stared. "You gave her something? W-what did you give her, Giles?"
"A sedative." He put his glasses back on. "A good Watcher is always prepared, Buffy." He let out a weary sigh. "I-I guess I just wasn't prepared then. None of us were."
"Giles, what's going on?"
"I-I have to forgive him, Buffy. At least, I have to remember that it was Angelus that k-killed Jenny." He looked at her. "Not Angel."
Buffy hesitated, "Giles, what are you saying?"
"Willow needs Angel. She needs you to bring him here."
"Angel...knows about this?"
"He does."
Buffy took a deep breath. "You're scaring me. What happened to Willow? Why did she lose her memory, Giles? And when did it happen?" She regarded his face. "Is she going to be okay?"
"She's going to need all of our love and support." Giles put his hands affectionately on her shoulders. "P-please, Buffy. Just g-get Angel. Then perhaps Willow will be strong enough to talk about it."
Buffy hesitated. She looked at Cordelia and Oz, and then she left in a hurry to get Angel without another word. Giles watched her go. When she had disappeared through the library's double doors, he turned to regard Oz and Cordelia with a solemn expression of his own.
"I...I try not to interfere in relationships that don't concern me," Giles began softly, "but in th-this case, and in these circumstances, I must. I'm very much aware of w-what has transpired between Willow and Xander, and- -"
Cordelia shook her head. "Giles, please. Don't bring this up now."
"Cordelia, you will hear me out. Both of you will." He looked at Oz. "Willow has not been herself. S-she has gravitated toward Xander and-and she had felt this need to be with him instead of you. Oz, I believe that this is not something that she had planned to do. It...it was something that she needed to do."
Oz looked at him thoughtfully. Then he nodded his head. "I think I understand."
Giles looked surprised. "You do?"
Cordelia looked at Oz.
Oz nodded. "Well...yeah. It kind of makes sense when you think about it. Whatever she had been through...the memories that have begun to return...Willow was trying to repress them, wasn't she? Once they started to return to her, she needed a way to defend herself from them...so she turned to Xander."
Giles was impressed. "Th-that's exactly what I surmised has happened. The only thing is I believe she was unaware of it. It was more her subconscious at work than any conscious effort of her own."
Cordelia sighed. "Are you saying that in an attempt to block out her memories of whatever had happened to her, Willow threw herself at Xander?"
"Yes." Giles frowned. "If you want to put it that way."
"So...she had an excuse?"
Oz glanced at her. "If we hadn't of walked in on her and Xander, Giles, would she be okay now?"
Giles thought about it. "Maybe. B-but her memories would have returned eventually anyway."
"Wait a minute," Cordelia said with a sigh. "I'm still trying to get this. Xander was Willow's defense mechanism?"
Oz and Giles looked at her.
"Does that make it right?" she wanted to know.
Oz shook his head. "Look, Cordelia. I was hurt when I saw them together like that. But my pain cannot be any worst than what Willow is going through right now. If it helped her at the time, then I'm glad it did. I wished it could have prevented any further pain to her. What they did, as far as I'm concerned, is in the past. Because if Willow needs me now, then I'll be here for her."
"You're taking her back?"
"If Willow wants me back, yes." He frowned. "I thought we went over this about this whole thing not being about you."
Cordelia just looked at him. She was concerned about Willow but her way of handling it wasn't like everyone else's way. She turned to Giles. "Did Xander have a defense mechanism?"
Giles looked thoughtful. "Actually, h-he may have sensed Willow's change and indirectly tried to prevent her memories from returning by responding to her. He was there. We-we had all agreed that it would be best if her memories did not ever return." He paused. "B-but I'm afraid it's, er, too late for that."
"So...what do we do?" Cordelia asked.
"We...we wait for Buffy and Angel to show up." Giles looked at them with a solemn expression on his face. "We'll tell you our side of what occurred and wh-when Willow wakes up, and if she's able...she'll tell you hers."
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TO BE CONTINUED--
Author: MeB (aka XanWill4Ever-Michael B)
Email: [email protected]
Spoiler: Majority takes place in the summer after the First Season. There are scenes that takes place some time after Lovers Walk from Season 3.
Pairing: Oz/Willow-at the beginning, and at the end.
Summary: Willow loses her memory and finds help from a private investigator in Boston.
Disclaimer: The characters from Spenser For Hire belong to Robert Parker. All characters from Buffy tVS belong to Joss.
Rating - R xwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxwxw
As Buffy would say..."This is not gonna be pretty. We're talkin' violence, strong language, adult content." From Welcome To The Hellmouth
A FOREWORD
I don't know about you, but I usually don't read the Foreword of a book. But maybe I should start. I just wanted to type this in on how I felt about writing this story.
I was in the process of writing a different story for the SFA list called The Brotherhood when I saw in the news that Robert Urich had died of cancer at 55. I liked Robert. He was a great actor. My wife and I used to watch Spenser For Hire when it was on Lifetime. I have quite a few of Robert Parker's novels about Spenser and I think of Robert Urich as Spenser when I read them.
I don't know what you can call me. A softie? Crazy? I don't know. But I felt like I should write a story that crosses over Buffy the Vampire Slayer with Spenser For Hire. So I wrote it. It's done, except for the Epilogue, but that will come soon enough. This story took me awhile to write and I have a lot of mixed emotions about it. My wife tells me that as a nurse, nurses make the worst patients. Well, I say that as a writer (wannabe), writers make the worst critics. I loved this story. I hated it. I wanted to keep it going. I wanted to throw it out. I don't understand fully why this is so with this story. Maybe it's because I know that once it's on the list, people are going to read it.
This is different than anything I've ever written before. It deals with some very sensitive issues and there is some strong adult content in this story that I've had to be careful in wording, hence the R setting.
I hope you like this story. If you do, let me know. If you don't, let me know.
I've added things to this story also that mention things that will happen in the Brotherhood. I hope you like that one, too. But that's all the preview you're going to get for Brotherhood.
Tomorrow, the Prologue.
Thank you.
Michael B aka MeB aka XanWill4Ever
Trivia-Sarah Michelle Gellar was on a Spenser For Hire episode called The Company Man in the late '80's.
The Evil That Men Do Prologue Parts 1-15 Epilogue
Prologue
At one time, not too long ago, the library used to be a place where all of the usual gang would hang out and talk about the next horrible demon that had to be dealt with. They would all sit around the table and for the most part, they would enjoy spending that time together as friends. Even as family.
Nowadays, that wasn't the case. If they had to really research something for the Slayer to help her win the next fight, then they would all buckle down and join in the cause in spite of everything. In spite of what Willow Rosenberg and Xander Harris were caught doing in the basement of the old factory Spike had locked them in. It had been a mistake, and they hadn't really gone too far, but the damage was done. And the damage even seemed a little bit irreparable.
Xander Harris was at the library now and he had his History books out and he was actually planning on studying from the books. Something he was not quite accustomed to. Then again, he wasn't quite used to the fact that people were shunning him and they were treating him like a slime-ball, so he had to find some way to occupy his mind. That is where the actual studying came into play. The library was a quiet place, for the most part, when it wasn't inhabited by people who wanted to boil him in oil so he hoped for an uneventful study time.
Fat chance.
The doors swung open to allow two people to gain entrance and they were two people that he truly didn't want to see at the moment. Those two people were Cordelia Chase and Daniel Osbourne, otherwise known as Oz. They walked up to the table and Cordelia was already gracing Xander with one of her looks. The kind of look that was reserved for melting a person on the spot like butter under a hot sun.
"Oh, isn't this just great," Cordelia let out a sigh. "You're here?"
Xander wanted to say something like, "Well, if you can see me through all of that mascara, glamor girl, then it must be true that I am indeed here and not elsewhere." Or he wanted to say something even nastier than that, but he chose not to say anything at all in the end. He continued to pretend that he was studying very hard, and he even turned a page for affect.
Oz didn't say a word to either one of them. He casually walked over to the computer at the end of the table and sat down. He looked at Xander once...just once and wished he hadn't. He had to fight off this strong desire to rip Xander's heart out from his chest. Oz decided to concentrate on his homework instead.
Cordelia continued to glare at Xander with her books in one arm and her other hand on her hip. "Excuse me, but I thought you were going to leave town or something. Maybe the next time Sunnydale sponsers a circus or something, you can join the freaks and leave with them."
Xander glared up at her. He was sorry he had hurt her the way that he did and he had already realized long before now that he could never take it back. Neither could Willow. It was done! So he was guilty in the third degree, but even so, he didn't know how much more of this he could take from Cordelia. She was beginning to revert back to the old days when Cordelia Chase was a real bitch.
He opened his mouth to respond, and that's when Buffy Summers walked in.
"Hi, guys," the perky blonde began cheerfully. "How is my favorite..." She hesitated as she saw their solemn faces. "...scoobies?"
"I really came in here to study for an exam, but that--" Cordelia pointed at Xander. "--should really be in another library in another time zone." She fixed Xander with another red hot glare. "So you were leaving...when?"
Buffy wasn't sure how she was going to continue to deal with this if it went on much longer. Ever since Xander and Willow were caught in the act, her friends were getting farther and farther apart from each other and from her. She didn't want to lose them. If it wasn't for them being in her life, she would have lost her sanity a long time ago.
They were the only ones who knew what she was, a Vampire Slayer. She could talk to them about things that no one else would ever understand. But if the bonds of friendship were truly broken, what kind of hope did they have for a future? She couldn't be what she was without them.
She couldn't do it.
"I'm not going anywhere," Xander told Cordelia through clenched teeth. "Deal with it."
Cordelia glared daggers at him. "Deal with it?" She turned her head to look in Oz' direction. "Oz--"
Oz didn't even look her way. "I'm really trying to study. I don't want to be bothered by this, Cordelia."
"Cordelia, why don't we--" Buffy began, trying to help diffuse a situation.
Cordelia ignored her and she took a few steps toward Oz with disbelief. "Who the hell are you? I thought you were someone who's girl was kissing another boy. How can you sit there and be so calm about this? Doesn't it bother you that Willow was practically on top--"
Oz' patience was gone. He rose to his feet so fast that the chair he had been sitting on crashed to the floor. He glared at Cordelia. "Do you really think I don't care about this?" he asked her. "Do you really think that this doesn't eat me up inside every time I see Willow or Xander?" He paused as he tried desperately to reign in his emotions. "You don't make it any easier when you throw it into my face."
Buffy held up her hands pleadingly. "Guys--" she tried again.
Cordelia was looking at Oz as if he had grown an extra head on his shoulders. "What is your deal? Why are you getting mad at me?"
"Because you are the one who is bringing it up!" Oz snapped. "What are we supposed to do? Leave school or town because we can't share the same room now?"
"They're the ones who should leave, Oz. Not us."
Buffy looked at Xander.
Xander had his head in his hands. He felt so bad about the whole thing. Now he was responsible for Oz and Cordelia fighting.
"It's not going to happen, Cordelia," Oz said impatiently. "We can't ignore them...and I don't want to ignore them. They were my friends. Friends are supposed to stick together...no matter what."
"You are so right, Oz," Buffy said as cheerfully as she could. "We're all friends here, so don't worry. Be happy."
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Oh, God, Buffy. You're not going to sing, are you?"
Buffy frowned. "Uh, no. No singing." She needed help with these guys. "Look...where's Giles? Maybe he has something for me to slay." She said under her breath, "One can only hope."
Xander aimed a thumb toward the back offices. "He's back there."
"Great. I'll just go and check in on him." She waved her hands at them and smiled. "Now you three just play nice. Okay?"
"X-Xander..."
Xander raised his head and he looked. But so did Cordelia, Buffy, and Oz. They all turned their heads to look at the source of that voice.
And there was Willow.
Buffy took a good look at her and she got scared. Something was wrong. Willow looked like a lost and frightened little girl even with her hair short and on her shoulders. Willow's eyes were wide, her steps were hesitant, and she was visibly shaking.
"Willow?" Buffy inquired with concern. "Are you okay?"
Oz was watching Willow with concern, too. As for Cordelia, she didn't notice that there was anything wrong with Willow.
Willow, however, did not hear Buffy. She didn't see her either. Nor did she see Cordelia and Oz. Her eyes were locked onto Xander alone. Xander himself took one look at Willow and he almost turned white. He looked panic-striken.
"Oh, God, not now," he muttered fearfully. "Not ever."
Buffy had heard him. What was going on? she asked herself.
"Xander..." Willow stopped moving. She looked so scared. "Please...I-I need you."
That was it for Cordelia. She tossed her hands up into the air and then she put her hands on her hips. "Oh, that is just so good, Willow. And you once accused me of having no tact?"
"Cordelia," Buffy said in a warning tone.
"What? Since they got caught, they might as well be needy in public now?"
Xander ignored them all. He went to Willow and she grabbed desperately onto his arms as if they were a lifeline.
Oz went around the table and stopped between Buffy and Cordelia. He had a very bad feeling in his gut. "This isn't about us, Cordelia," he said softly, watching Willow with growing concern.
"Xander!" Willow cried out suddenly. Her eyes were full of tears. "P- please, help me!"
Xander put one hand on her shoulder, and he touched her face with the other hand. "I'm here, Willow."
She looked into his eyes. "I-I...I saw what they did!"
It was what Xander had been afraid of. "Oh, God...Willow." He held her face in both hands. "I'm so sorry."
"I saw what they did!" she cried again. "I-I saw what th-they did t-to Kali! I-I saw...I saw wh-what they did!"
Suddenly, she just collapsed.
Xander caught her and he held her in his arms as he lowered her gently to the floor. She sobbed against him, her body shaking uncontrollably. Buffy couldn't stay on the sidelines any more as she was afraid for her friend. She hurried to her friends side with Oz behind her. Cordelia just stood there with her mouth open.
Xander held Willow and he looked at Buffy. There were tears in his own eyes. Then he turned his head. "Giles!" he shouted. "GILES!"
Rupert Giles came out from the back. He took one look at the scene before him and he froze. "Er...Xander, wh-what's wrong with Willow?" he asked.
Xander looked at him desperately. "She remembers, Giles. Willow's memory is returning!"
Buffy stared at him. "Oh, my God. Memory? Xander, what are you talking about? What happened to Willow's memory?"
Giles took Willow from Xander and he gently picked her up. She was still repeating over and over again, "I saw what they did...I-I saw what they did...I saw wh-what they did..."
"Xander, you come with me," Giles said as he carried Willow to the back office.
Buffy, Cordelia, and Oz began to follow.
"Buffy," Giles said to her, "you wait out here with the others."
"What?" Buffy asked in disbelief.
Xander followed Giles and Willow into the office and he closed the door behind them. Buffy stood there and stared at the closed door. She was trying to comprehend what had just happened.
Slowly, she turned and she found Oz and Cordelia watching her. "What just happened here?" she asked them.
Cordelia opened her mouth to say something. Then she closed it. She didn't know what to say. She had been getting used to the idea of being mad at Willow for stealing her boyfriend away from her, but now she found herself being deeply concerned for her.
"She saw what they did to Kali," Oz said softly, trying to work it out in his mind.
Buffy turned her head to look at him. "What?"
Oz paused in thought. "It's what Willow was saying. She saw what they did to Kali." He regarded Buffy and Cordelia. "Who's Kali?"
Buffy shook her head. "I-I...I don't know. Do you, Cordelia?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "No. I don't know any Kali."
Oz frowned as another thought occurred to him. One he didn't like. "Not knowing who Kali is bothers me. But there's something that bothers me more." He paused. "Not knowing who 'they' are."
"Wait!" Buffy held up her hands as if in supplication. When she spoke, there was a catch in her voice. "Just wait a minute! Xander said that Willow's memory was returning. Returning from where? When did Willow get amnesia and none of us knew about it?"
Oz looked at Buffy. "I don't know. Maybe it happened...whatever it is...during the summer before we began to date." He shook his head. "Since I've known Willow, I've never known her to have amnesia...or anything. I would have known if something was wrong."
"Can you be sure of that?" Buffy asked him.
He nodded. "Yes. I can. I'm guessing that something traumatic happened to her. It must have happened during that summer...Your first summer here in Sunnydale."
"Well, I actually spent that summer with my father."
Oz nodded. "Right." He glanced at Cordelia. "The point is...something happened. Whatever it was that did happen, Xander was there. And so was Giles."
Buffy nodded knowingly. "Something happened and they didn't tell us!" She turned to Cordelia. "Did you see Xander and Willow at all that summer?"
Cordelia frowned. Then she said, "I saw them at the Bronze once a few weeks before school started. Xander told me that they had gone to Boston with Giles."
"Boston?" Buffy frowned in thought. "Why did they go to Boston? What happened to--?"
"Buffy."
Buffy, Cordelia, and Oz turned. Giles was standing there and he looked tired.
"Giles," Buffy said as she approached him. "Is Willow okay?"
Giles frowned as he took off his glasses. "I-I gave her something t-to calm her down."
Buffy stared. "You gave her something? W-what did you give her, Giles?"
"A sedative." He put his glasses back on. "A good Watcher is always prepared, Buffy." He let out a weary sigh. "I-I guess I just wasn't prepared then. None of us were."
"Giles, what's going on?"
"I-I have to forgive him, Buffy. At least, I have to remember that it was Angelus that k-killed Jenny." He looked at her. "Not Angel."
Buffy hesitated, "Giles, what are you saying?"
"Willow needs Angel. She needs you to bring him here."
"Angel...knows about this?"
"He does."
Buffy took a deep breath. "You're scaring me. What happened to Willow? Why did she lose her memory, Giles? And when did it happen?" She regarded his face. "Is she going to be okay?"
"She's going to need all of our love and support." Giles put his hands affectionately on her shoulders. "P-please, Buffy. Just g-get Angel. Then perhaps Willow will be strong enough to talk about it."
Buffy hesitated. She looked at Cordelia and Oz, and then she left in a hurry to get Angel without another word. Giles watched her go. When she had disappeared through the library's double doors, he turned to regard Oz and Cordelia with a solemn expression of his own.
"I...I try not to interfere in relationships that don't concern me," Giles began softly, "but in th-this case, and in these circumstances, I must. I'm very much aware of w-what has transpired between Willow and Xander, and- -"
Cordelia shook her head. "Giles, please. Don't bring this up now."
"Cordelia, you will hear me out. Both of you will." He looked at Oz. "Willow has not been herself. S-she has gravitated toward Xander and-and she had felt this need to be with him instead of you. Oz, I believe that this is not something that she had planned to do. It...it was something that she needed to do."
Oz looked at him thoughtfully. Then he nodded his head. "I think I understand."
Giles looked surprised. "You do?"
Cordelia looked at Oz.
Oz nodded. "Well...yeah. It kind of makes sense when you think about it. Whatever she had been through...the memories that have begun to return...Willow was trying to repress them, wasn't she? Once they started to return to her, she needed a way to defend herself from them...so she turned to Xander."
Giles was impressed. "Th-that's exactly what I surmised has happened. The only thing is I believe she was unaware of it. It was more her subconscious at work than any conscious effort of her own."
Cordelia sighed. "Are you saying that in an attempt to block out her memories of whatever had happened to her, Willow threw herself at Xander?"
"Yes." Giles frowned. "If you want to put it that way."
"So...she had an excuse?"
Oz glanced at her. "If we hadn't of walked in on her and Xander, Giles, would she be okay now?"
Giles thought about it. "Maybe. B-but her memories would have returned eventually anyway."
"Wait a minute," Cordelia said with a sigh. "I'm still trying to get this. Xander was Willow's defense mechanism?"
Oz and Giles looked at her.
"Does that make it right?" she wanted to know.
Oz shook his head. "Look, Cordelia. I was hurt when I saw them together like that. But my pain cannot be any worst than what Willow is going through right now. If it helped her at the time, then I'm glad it did. I wished it could have prevented any further pain to her. What they did, as far as I'm concerned, is in the past. Because if Willow needs me now, then I'll be here for her."
"You're taking her back?"
"If Willow wants me back, yes." He frowned. "I thought we went over this about this whole thing not being about you."
Cordelia just looked at him. She was concerned about Willow but her way of handling it wasn't like everyone else's way. She turned to Giles. "Did Xander have a defense mechanism?"
Giles looked thoughtful. "Actually, h-he may have sensed Willow's change and indirectly tried to prevent her memories from returning by responding to her. He was there. We-we had all agreed that it would be best if her memories did not ever return." He paused. "B-but I'm afraid it's, er, too late for that."
"So...what do we do?" Cordelia asked.
"We...we wait for Buffy and Angel to show up." Giles looked at them with a solemn expression on his face. "We'll tell you our side of what occurred and wh-when Willow wakes up, and if she's able...she'll tell you hers."
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