Kin

Merlin wasn't used to speaking his mind. He had spent far too long hiding his secrets, and yet, there was nothing more exhilarating then finally sharing it with someone.

Gilli was nothing like him – he had been torn apart by the fear of magic. No one ever had told him he was special, or that he could up his magic to good uses. He had wanted nothing but to win – to show himself and the others that he was worth something. Merlin surely could understand that.

And it wasn't his fault – not really. He had been taught that way, of course he would act as if magic was a power to oppress other people. Uther had made it clear that there was no place for their kind in his realm, or in any realm that wished to keep their peace with Uther.

He could feel his heart beating when he whispered the spell and showed the boy the fire in his hand. The surprise in his eyes was almost enough, but not quite. There was need for words – need to be understood, and Merlin understood it all.

It wasn't easy to be special.

It wasn't easy to lie all the time.

It wasn't easy.

And yet, it was the only life they would know for a while. It hurt, and it was painful, but it was for the best. It was to guarantee a better future for all of them.

He couldn't even be upset when Gilli decided to go on with his show, to do his best to beat Uther. He understood too well that Uther's actions were to blame when he had made breathing a hardship for them. He could only look, and hope, deep within him, that Gilli was really like him, that he was ready to forgive.

Merlin was right – Gilli didn't do it in the end. He had said enough, it had been enough, and he would never be alone again. He would always know where to look for someone, because Merlin had risked it all for him, as he should have done it before, and every time another sorcerer showed up, too scared by their own powers to be able to deal with them without unleashing it against those who had made it a crime to be born with magic.

He couldn't turn time back, he couldn't fix the things he hadn't done, speak the words that had choked in his throat when Morgana first begun to develop her powers. He couldn't help her anymore, and this would forever be in his heart, as something he wished he had done.

But he could do it for Gilli, and be there even from afar, and be by his side he would.

They were kin.