Rumbelle with a side of Snowing. No spoilers, no smut. Actually no reason to post this. Just a Storybrooke retelling of a really old joke.

Forgive me.

OUAT is property of Disney/ABC.

Two men sat at the bar. One was tall handsome chap, ruggedly built and attired. The other was older, nattily dressed, with a cane sitting next to him. They were drinking Sam Adams'. The older man spoke..

James...I finally popped the question to Belle...and we've set the date. But I've never been married...and you and Snow seem very happy. Ya have any advice.?"

James took a sip, then said said, 'Gold, my friend...let me tell you something. On my wedding night on our honeymoon, I took off my pants, handed them to Snow, and said, 'Here, try these on.''

She did and said, 'These are too big. I can't wear them.'

I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.'

Ever since that night, we have never had any problems.

'Hmmm,' said the imp. He thought that might be a good thing to try.

So...On his honeymoon, Rumple took off his pants and said to , 'Here, try these on..!

She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.'

Rump said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that.'

Then Belle took off her panties and handed them to Rump. She said, 'Here, you try on mine !

Rumple did and said, 'I can't get into your panties.'

Belle said, 'Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.'

And Rumplestiltskin lived happily (whipped) everafter...

FIN