The medical quarters are dim, and the fluorescent lights give off a sickly glow. The bad light turns R's skin gray again, and I want to rip off one of his bandages to make sure that his blood is still red-vital and living. I settle for watching the soft rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. I can just barely discern the flutter of his pulse in his neck.

A pulse.

I'm still in a state of shock. Everything has been upended and turned inside out. I'm sure the horrific truth of what happened to my father will sink in, eventually. At some strange and inopportune moment, I know I'll suddenly collapse into grief. Right now, though, all I feel is a kind of stupefied wonder at the life thrumming through R's veins. And hope-stronger than it's ever been before.

R stirs a little, dreaming. A frown furrows his forehead. I lean forward, fascinated with the fleeting changes of expression in his face. I remember the first time I saw the corners of his mouth twitch upward in the facsimile of a smile, how strange and jarring it was.

The dream he's having wakes him. Long lashes flick up from brilliant gold eyes. He glances around the dingy room until his gaze finds me. His expression relaxes and he smiles.

"Julie."

My name comes easily now, smoothly, no longer sounding ripped by sheer force from his vocal chords. He tries to sit up, and grimaces in pain.

"Stop." I tell him. "You'll open your wounds again."

"It hurts." He sounds delighted.

"Duh," I reply.

"You don't understand. It hurts." Laughter dances under his words.

I know what he means. He hurts because he's alive. I lean forward and press my lips against his. He responds, kissing me back and winding his uninjured hand through my hair. We pull apart a little and he rests his forehead against mine. "So much I want to say" he murmurs. "I always had so much happening in my head-so many things I wanted to tell someone. To tell you." His body shudders. I can't even begin to imagine what being dead was like for him.

"Do you remember anything from before?" I ask.

R leans back, eyes faraway. "Some." He replies. "I dream, but it's blurred. Like an old VHS tape. The vivid dreams are about here. Now." His eyes meet mine warmly. "You." I feel my face flush, surprising me. I'm no stranger to men's admiration. But somehow, R is making me blush. We both jump when the door rattles open. Nora sticks her head in.

"Hey guys." She grins widely at us. "I've got a visitor for R." She walks in, and an enormous man follows. It's R's friend, M. His skin hasn't quite lost all of its gray zombie flush, but he looks far more human than the last time I'd seen him.

"Dude, look at you!" He ruffles R's hair so hard it stands on end. "Looking all human and stuff."

R's eyes turn serious. "I always was human, M, we always were. It's just-different states of being. Varying degrees of death"

M lets out a thunderous laugh. " Shit. I always knew you were some kind of philosophic genius under all that hair." He ruffles it again, so it stands up in the other direction. "My name's Marcus, by the way."

"Marcus." R's eyes stare past us. I wonder what they're looking at.

"Yeah. Do you remember your name?" R doesn't answer him for a moment. Then he just smiles.

"Just call me R." His hand finds mine, and we wrap our fingers together. I feel his heartbeat in his wrist. "Just R."