Kristene &
Kuzco
A Parody of the movie "Kate and Leopold"
By: Megan Clifton aka JessieofTR
Part III "Where the Heck Am I!?"
T he next morning, the sun shone high in the sky, and Kuzco, who was laying on the couch, slowly opened his eyes. He slowly sat up, at first, unawear of where he was. He was about to get up and go to the dining room, but was shocked to find that he wasn't home in his palace. This area was strange! His eyes widened and his hand accidently rested on Jerry's remote, turning on the television at a very loud volume....
Now wide awake, Kuzco shot up and stumpled over his own feet. Jerry, who had fallen asleep on his other couch, shot straight up at the loud noise. He fumbled to grab the remote and turn off the tv, before trying to help Kuzco to his feet.
Kuzco got to his feet himself, and backed away from Jerry. "Wha....wha....wha...?" He couldn't speak.
"It's ok, it's ok..." Jerry held up his hands. "I know you must be a bit scared, your highness, but I'm here to help you...."
Kuzco eyed him. "I've been kidnapped....this is some strange laboratory and you've KIDNAPPED ME TO DO EXPERIMENTS ON ME, HAVEN'T YOU!!!!!!?"
Jerry sighed and held up his hands again, trying to silence him. "Calm down! Calm down! Look, it's alright. I haven't kidnapped you. You're the one who followed me!"
Kuzco stared. He was right, actually. His memory slowly came back to him and he remembered that this was the strange peasant who was wandering his palace.
Jerry sighed. "I can explain everything. You see, the reason we can understand each other is because the portal somehow allows people to adapt to the time period..."
"What portal!? What the hell are you talking about!!!? WHERE THE HECK AM I!!!!?"
Meanwhile, Kristene was rushing around her house, gathering things she needed for her work/school day and getting dressed. She was brushing her teeth when she heard all the noise coming from her ex-boyfriend's apartment. What is he doing, now? She thought to herself.
Jerry explained everything to Kuzco. About the portal, and how he could understand him. Kuzco seemed to be understanding, but also alittle angry. "So lemme get this straight..." He said, in the calmest voice he could. "I'm....in the future?"
"Yes....the future...and that, outside, is Houston, Texas."
Kuzco nodded. "Yeah....sure.....now I wanna go home...I'm sick of these games..."
Jerry blinked. "I can't...take you home....the portal doesn't open again until next monday..."
"Look...." Kuzco sighed. "I don't care....about your fricken damn portal....alright!? I just wanna go back home to MY palace, MY kingdom, and GET OUT OF THIS SO CALLED FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Um....hello?" There was a voice behind them, and Kristene was at the window.
Kuzco stared. "Um....hi..."
"Kristene!!! Go!!!" Jerry glared at her.
"Oh wow....thank you for that LOVELY good morning, Jerry! My EX-boyfriend!" Kristene glared back, and Jerry crossed his arms. She turned to Kuzco and smiled. "And you must be the Arabic emperor..."
Kuzco glared someone. "I'm an INCAN emperor!"
Jerry sighed and walked to the window, closing it, locking it, and closing the curtains. "Hey!" Kristene shouted. "Jerry!!! I want my cd player back! GIMME MY CD PLAYER! Jerry!!!"
Kuzco raised an eyebrow, as Kristene shouted in the background. "Who was that? She was....rude....but I feel like I've seen her somewhere....."
Jerry sighed and rolled his eyes. "That's Kristene Wilson...and you probably haven't seen her anywhere before...she's always like that and there's no one else like her....we just broke up last night.."
"Broke up?"
"It's a term...thing....now listen. Don't answer the door. Not for anyone...not even Kris. I have to make a run to the store to pick up a few things.." He said, grabbing his keys and rushing out the door.
Kuzco was left standing there, blinking. He sighed and sat down. Great...he was stuck in the so-called "future" and was a like a prisoner! He wanted to get back home and go to his palace. But then again...it might be interesting to see how the future turned out....
"JERRY!!!" There was a pounding at the door. "I just want my CD PLAYER!!!" The door began unlocking and Kristene walked in. She stared. "Where's Jerry?"
"He said he had to go to the marketplace...." Kuzco blinked.
Kristene laughed. "Marketplace....yeah, sure....look, can you find my CD player for me? I want it for the library....."
"CD player?" He stared. "I don't even know what a CD player is......and I don't care..." He crossed his arms. "What I WANT to know is where you emperor or king resides."
She raised an eyebrow and shook her head, laughing, while rumishing through Jerry's drawers and stuff. "We have no emperor or king...we have a president who lives in Washington...and enough with the emperor buisness...who are you really? I mean, are you a good friend of Jerry's, a doctor, lawyer...actor? Someone who illigally crossed over the Mexican border? What?"
He sighed. "I'm an emperor....Jerry brought me here from the past...not that I WANT to be here....and where the hell is Washington? I want to go there!"
"Washington is miles away from here...you'd have to fly..."
"Fly!? I don't have wings! I'm being serious!"
Kristene rolled her eyes, as she opened another drawer. "AHA! Found it!" She pulled out her CD player.
Kuzco eyed her. "Also, I must say.....have I seen you before?"
She smiled. "Maybe you've seen my ancestor! You tell me!" She laughed. "De ja vu, hun...that's all I know.." She smiled as she grabbed her purse. "Oh and.....guys don't wear dresses in the future.."
Kuzco stared and looked at his cloths, then glared at her. "THEY'RE ROBES!!!!"
"Alright, Mr. Arabic emperor.." She laughed and walked out the door.
Kuzco glared, and yelled after her. "I'M NOT ARABIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
By: Megan Clifton aka JessieofTR
Part III "Where the Heck Am I!?"
T he next morning, the sun shone high in the sky, and Kuzco, who was laying on the couch, slowly opened his eyes. He slowly sat up, at first, unawear of where he was. He was about to get up and go to the dining room, but was shocked to find that he wasn't home in his palace. This area was strange! His eyes widened and his hand accidently rested on Jerry's remote, turning on the television at a very loud volume....
Now wide awake, Kuzco shot up and stumpled over his own feet. Jerry, who had fallen asleep on his other couch, shot straight up at the loud noise. He fumbled to grab the remote and turn off the tv, before trying to help Kuzco to his feet.
Kuzco got to his feet himself, and backed away from Jerry. "Wha....wha....wha...?" He couldn't speak.
"It's ok, it's ok..." Jerry held up his hands. "I know you must be a bit scared, your highness, but I'm here to help you...."
Kuzco eyed him. "I've been kidnapped....this is some strange laboratory and you've KIDNAPPED ME TO DO EXPERIMENTS ON ME, HAVEN'T YOU!!!!!!?"
Jerry sighed and held up his hands again, trying to silence him. "Calm down! Calm down! Look, it's alright. I haven't kidnapped you. You're the one who followed me!"
Kuzco stared. He was right, actually. His memory slowly came back to him and he remembered that this was the strange peasant who was wandering his palace.
Jerry sighed. "I can explain everything. You see, the reason we can understand each other is because the portal somehow allows people to adapt to the time period..."
"What portal!? What the hell are you talking about!!!? WHERE THE HECK AM I!!!!?"
Meanwhile, Kristene was rushing around her house, gathering things she needed for her work/school day and getting dressed. She was brushing her teeth when she heard all the noise coming from her ex-boyfriend's apartment. What is he doing, now? She thought to herself.
Jerry explained everything to Kuzco. About the portal, and how he could understand him. Kuzco seemed to be understanding, but also alittle angry. "So lemme get this straight..." He said, in the calmest voice he could. "I'm....in the future?"
"Yes....the future...and that, outside, is Houston, Texas."
Kuzco nodded. "Yeah....sure.....now I wanna go home...I'm sick of these games..."
Jerry blinked. "I can't...take you home....the portal doesn't open again until next monday..."
"Look...." Kuzco sighed. "I don't care....about your fricken damn portal....alright!? I just wanna go back home to MY palace, MY kingdom, and GET OUT OF THIS SO CALLED FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Um....hello?" There was a voice behind them, and Kristene was at the window.
Kuzco stared. "Um....hi..."
"Kristene!!! Go!!!" Jerry glared at her.
"Oh wow....thank you for that LOVELY good morning, Jerry! My EX-boyfriend!" Kristene glared back, and Jerry crossed his arms. She turned to Kuzco and smiled. "And you must be the Arabic emperor..."
Kuzco glared someone. "I'm an INCAN emperor!"
Jerry sighed and walked to the window, closing it, locking it, and closing the curtains. "Hey!" Kristene shouted. "Jerry!!! I want my cd player back! GIMME MY CD PLAYER! Jerry!!!"
Kuzco raised an eyebrow, as Kristene shouted in the background. "Who was that? She was....rude....but I feel like I've seen her somewhere....."
Jerry sighed and rolled his eyes. "That's Kristene Wilson...and you probably haven't seen her anywhere before...she's always like that and there's no one else like her....we just broke up last night.."
"Broke up?"
"It's a term...thing....now listen. Don't answer the door. Not for anyone...not even Kris. I have to make a run to the store to pick up a few things.." He said, grabbing his keys and rushing out the door.
Kuzco was left standing there, blinking. He sighed and sat down. Great...he was stuck in the so-called "future" and was a like a prisoner! He wanted to get back home and go to his palace. But then again...it might be interesting to see how the future turned out....
"JERRY!!!" There was a pounding at the door. "I just want my CD PLAYER!!!" The door began unlocking and Kristene walked in. She stared. "Where's Jerry?"
"He said he had to go to the marketplace...." Kuzco blinked.
Kristene laughed. "Marketplace....yeah, sure....look, can you find my CD player for me? I want it for the library....."
"CD player?" He stared. "I don't even know what a CD player is......and I don't care..." He crossed his arms. "What I WANT to know is where you emperor or king resides."
She raised an eyebrow and shook her head, laughing, while rumishing through Jerry's drawers and stuff. "We have no emperor or king...we have a president who lives in Washington...and enough with the emperor buisness...who are you really? I mean, are you a good friend of Jerry's, a doctor, lawyer...actor? Someone who illigally crossed over the Mexican border? What?"
He sighed. "I'm an emperor....Jerry brought me here from the past...not that I WANT to be here....and where the hell is Washington? I want to go there!"
"Washington is miles away from here...you'd have to fly..."
"Fly!? I don't have wings! I'm being serious!"
Kristene rolled her eyes, as she opened another drawer. "AHA! Found it!" She pulled out her CD player.
Kuzco eyed her. "Also, I must say.....have I seen you before?"
She smiled. "Maybe you've seen my ancestor! You tell me!" She laughed. "De ja vu, hun...that's all I know.." She smiled as she grabbed her purse. "Oh and.....guys don't wear dresses in the future.."
Kuzco stared and looked at his cloths, then glared at her. "THEY'RE ROBES!!!!"
"Alright, Mr. Arabic emperor.." She laughed and walked out the door.
Kuzco glared, and yelled after her. "I'M NOT ARABIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"