I wrote this back on Tumblr, like, FOREVER ago; at the time I didn't think it good enough to merit publishing on FFNet, but I've been in a bit of a 'PUT EVERYTHING ON FFNET FOR GREAT JUSTICE' mood, so why not?

Pretty much the whole concept was inspired by chapter 8 'Dude Appreciation' of Oh, Marceline! by Kataangfanficer, a very NSFW fic that colored a few of my thoughts about how Fubbline could go; I really hope this isn't too terribly similar to that story, because I can't abide the thought of ripping her off. I feel uneasy about the very idea; part of the reason I haven't posted it was concerns that it was too similar. If so, I'll happily take down this story if deemed neccesary.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything I don't own, nor make any claims to.

Sidling along on the tree branch, Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum noted in a halfway distant manner that the leaves she dislodged made a pleasing noise as they were parted from branch, half-crunching but not quite so violently, the weight of her hips as she moved a superior force enough to send the leaves drifting down and floating away on air currents.

Bubblegum prided herself on the ability to observe and remember extraneous details occurring all around her, particularly if they were unrelated to her current task. When organizing fizzling bottles of unstable chemicals, great racks of equipment duplicating ancient formulas of long-lost civilizations of scientific power so great they reached the stars and beyond, serums of beneficence and power coming to fruition…why, it was so very important to keep track of all the details.

(She knew, alas, that her attention to detail was rooted most strongly in the material focuses. She had witnessed so many signs that she should not have: wistful remarks about year-past birthday gifts, side-long smiles that turned bashful when she looked down, friendly banter that suddenly turned panicked and afraid when she spoke a seemingly playful flirtatious note… she had done wrong, she believed, and she was ashamed, and had resolved to do better than what she had done. Her attention to detail had to be implemented properly.)

Beside her and floating in the air as easily as if she had been freed from gravity itself, Marceline the Vampire Queen, warlord of all the vampire clans in Ooo by right of conquest and personal might, scoffed at the Candy Princess and her continually wandering focus to leaves falling off branches, when it was supposed to be directed at the tree house a short distance away; the two women were not so far that they couldn't see with ease, but weren't so close that a casual glance out by its inhabitants would reveal their presence.

"Come on, come on, come on!" Marceline hissed, no venom in her voice, just playful insistence. "You know, you're making a heckuva lotta noise, Peebee-"

"The leaves are making the noise, not me," Bubblegum replied. She wasn't really paying attention, reaching into a large belt-studded handbag made of dragonskin. It was perhaps not really her style, but it had been a gift from Marceline years past, she had no idea what it had been given for but she liked it quite a lot, all the compartments and inner space (bigger on the inside than the outside and Bubblegum had been utterly entranced with the concept since she, newly created and lacking in wisdom, had met a charming - if not altogether sane - man who'd come crashing into her castle inside a blue box vastly larger in the inside). After fumbling through for a few too-long moments, she pulled out her goal: a pair of binoculars, of brass and iron, many small fiddlely instruments and focusing lenses all about it, and featuring glass lenses forged from lightning-struck crystal upon it. "Ah, here we are! Have you yours'?"

Marceline raised her own binoculars, a vastly simpler affair. It was quite boring; there were just some magical runes Bubblegum knew amplified visual clarity, and a magnifying assembly about the lenses. (Bubblegum scoffed, quietly. Some people just had no sense of epicness.) "Got 'em!"

Bubblegum wiggled around excitedly, dislodging more leaves. She considered herself lucky she had thought to wear practical shorts and a hoodie for this outing (clothes not unlike what Finn would have worn, she thought with the hint of a giggle and a fond smile). Marceline never resisted a moment to needle her Candy Princess, and remarked, "Y'know, if you laid off the candy…and Candy People…maybe your butt wouldn't be so big and you wouldn't be causing leaf genocide right now."

"I'll thank you of all people not to be talking about overly generous hips and posteriors if I were you," Bubblegum replied, raising an eyebrow. "…And it's not genocide if I'm not destroying all leaves. This is more of, ah, decimation."

"Kinda spooky that you know the difference."

"Oh, quiet, you!"

"I don't wanna!" Marceline whined, childishly. (Bubblegum had often considered that Marceline had far to go before she outgrew the mindset of a teenager, and in her more speculative moments thought that she herself was no less immature, and it was at times a humbling that Finn was often more mature than either of them in certain ways. Not often, certainly, and it made her feel a touch better about being so fond of him despite the age difference. Ooo had no care for such gulfs when maturity was not an issue, but Bubblegum was old enough to remember a world of different proprieties, and at times she could feel the ghosts of ages past frowning at her fancies.)

Bubblegum had a mind to inflict upon Marceline's immaturity all manner of imprecations regarding buffoonery and a general lack of emotional competence, and contented herself with a ladylike 'hmph!' of disapproval. Marceline stuck her forked tongue out and smiled, fangs dimpling her tongue's surface curiously. Bubblegum was torn, as so often, kissing Marceline on the forehead just to see how she'd react, or headbutting her right in the nose. She turned away and said, "Are you quite certain Finn's brethren are away? I would hate for them to, ah, interrupt…"

"Don't worry, I got them out of the way," Marceline assured her, with a wicked grin that didn't really reassure Bubblegum one little bit.

(Elsewhere, Jake and Finn's recently revealed trickster demigod of a brother Loki Liesmith, yawned most mightily in synchronized, only to witness a large zombie bear staring at them from the comfort of the booby-trapped lair they had been sealed in with it, and at least a dozen zombie dragons, twenty zombie tigers and lions each ten regular zombie humans, and at least one inexplicable zombie pineapple were facing them.

"Huh," Loki said. "…Finn must be having another date without his consent again."

"Hey, I found a note," Jake said. "'Dear Jake and Loki: I've taken the liberty of tossing you into this cavern of zombies so you can have something to do with yourselves while I take advantage of your adorbs little bro. MWAHAHAHAHAH. Have fun imagining the unspeakable doom me and PB shall visit on him. Punches and hugs, Marceline.'" He glanced at Loki. "Welp, at least romance isn't as hard as Mom said it would be."

Loki tilted his head. "I know Momma Freya said it's always worst when the lady - or ladies - want you and don't think your opinion counts for anything. Pray for our little bro's soul. PRAY FOR HIM."

Jake frowned. "You don't really think Peebee and Marcy don't CARE about Finn's feelings, do you?"

"Of COURSE they care and they'd back off in a bit if Finn said no!" Loki retorted. "Probably. I mean, MAYBE. I guess. So to speak. That isn't making you feel better, huh?"

"NOPE.")

Marceline tensed as, through her binoculars, she spied a familiar shape moving through the windows, blissfully unaware of the two women's presence. "Oh SPIT, there he is! Get 'em ready!"

"Here, here, here!" Bubblegum said, hurriedly affixing a visual recording device to her own binoculars, and when it became apparent that Marceline hadn't the slightest idea how to do the same for the one Bubblegum passed to her, fixed it up for her. "Honestly," She said, but good-naturedly. "It's like you hadn't lived through the Age of Marvels-"

"Ssh, he's RIGHT THERE!"

"…Marceline, I honestly don't think it matters how loud we talk. Finn can't hear us over here!"

"Psh, like that matters. Guys can SENSE predatory intent!"

"What, really? Oooh, I must test that…!" Bubblegum shook her head. "Oh, Marceline, you're distracting me! I'll have you know, Dude Watching is a noble and sacred bonding time for women…" Still mumbling to herself, she noticed that Marceline wasn't paying attention but hunkering under the shelter of an umbrella with one hand and peering through her binoculars. Realizing with a gasp that precious Dude Watching minutes were falling away, Bubblegum put her own binoculars up.

At once it became apparent that Finn was quite cheerfully strolling around through his living room with a sense of confidence that was so vast it qualified for its own magnitude (and gave Bubblegum a set of not-quite-quiet giggles and a warm blush). "Mm hmm…!" Marceline muttered, chuckling. "Today is most def a good day!"

"…Marceline?" Bubblegum asked.

"Shh, I'm trying to enjoy this-"

"Why isn't he wearing a shirt?"

"What are you- HOLY SPIT HE'S NOT WEARING A SHIRT, HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THAT?!" Marceline's words degenerated into mildly bestial exclamations before she got control of himself. "Dang, Peebee, just…dang! Look at that, look at him!" And there was much giggling and glee from both ladies.

"Oh my, I didn't realize Finn was so…plump," Bubblegum said in a near-gasp. "It's…it's quite attractive, he just looks so squeezable!" She gasped, hardly daring to believe she had just said that, and lost control to further giggles.

"There's some serious muscle under all that," Marceline murmured, her voice a modulated purr, feminine delight grinding out from each syllable. "He's like a little teddy bear. That could punch a dude's face in. Hee, I LOVE it…"

They muttered and chuckled and exchanged comments about it, and then… "OH MY GLOB, he's taking his hat off!" Bubblegum exclaimed. "His hat! Why his hat…he never takes his hat offOH MY GLOB LOOK AT THAT HAIR. How the…how does…how does he keep all that hair in his hat?! I MUST KNOW FOR SCIENCE, OOH I WANT TO TOUCH IT."

"Dude, he's got better hair than me! More hair, even!" Marceline exclaimed. "My new goal in life is GETTING MY HANDS ON ALL THAT HAIR and- aw, that's just not fair, why is he DANCING, it just WOAH, LOOK AT THAT HAIR MOVE. I AM HAVING FEELINGS. ALL THE FEELINGS, BONNIE. ALL THE FEELINGS."

And then incomprehensible chatter, mostly on the impossibility of the movements of his HAIR alone being absurdly enticing and gorgeous.

"Hmm?" Bubblegum said moments later, lost in daydreams of snuggling Finn and giving him quiet little kisses just on the back of his neck and styling his hair into a giant pompadour with neon letters that read 'EAT AT JOE'S', because Joe deserved to have some advertising.

"Bonnie," Marceline whispered, suddenly very still and very quiet as only a predator watching prey go into utterly defenseless can go. "He's going into the shower."

"He's not- OH MY." Bubblegum paused a moment to register it all and confirm it, gasped, and peered more intently. "He's…yes, into the shower! Oh my OH MY, is he really going to…?"

"OH MAN," Marceline squealed - and it WAS a squeal, such a charmingly girlish sound that it startled Bubblegum a bit - and she suddenly bounced in place (an interesting accomplishment when one is floating) exclaiming, "SHOWER SCENE, SHOWER SCENCE."

"He's going into the bathroom! We are quite fortunate that he has windows in there!" Bubblegum spoke, for the benefit of her recorder. "I think, yes, he's stepping into the shower, he is STEPPING IN THERE…wait, why is he still wearing his shorts before he steps in there?" She considered, dismissed it, and continued narrating. "I think, yes…he's adjusting his shorts, I think, YES, he's…he's…"

And the moment changed as, in their view, Finn abruptly stopped what he was doing and turned around, inexplicably facing them. "…What's he doing?" Bubblegum said.

"He's…waving." Marceline said. "Waving right at us."

There was a long pause.

Bubblegum nearly dropped her binoculars. "He knows," She whispered in a low quiet voice.

"…How the stuff did he FIND OUT!?" Marceline said, both moderately panicked and impressed.

And, stepping out of the shower and quietly chuckling to himself, Finn mentally checked off 'Mess With PB and Marcy's Heads' on his big list of things to do that week.