This is a one-shot based on a series of pictures I saw on tumbler by wistfulwacher (wistfulwatcher. tumblr post/35343084021/the-girl-i-dreamed-up-doesnt-exist-and-if-she) So the credit for the idea has to be given there. Thank you again for the beautiful pictures! I made a prompt that was given back to me and I wrote this almost instantly and decided to make it presentable today, because I wanted to gift you all with a little bit fluff.
The idea for the pictures and the story is based on the move Practical Magic. In the movie the character of Sandra Bullock made a spell to never fall in love again, inventing a love for her with attributes that couldn't possibly exist. This is just toying with the idea that Regina might have done the same after she had lost Daniel, never wanting to feel that kind of loss again. But what if she had chosen characteristics that belong to a certain savior?
Read and enjoy.
Disclaimer: I neither own Once Upon a Time nor Practical Magic. I just lend the ideas for creative storytelling.
Amos Veritas
A spell to summon true love
She will hear my call from a land away
She will whistle my favorite tune.
And she will slay a dragon with her father's sword
She will detect a lie before I even utter a word
Her touch will be like magic
She will be marvelously kind and forgiving
Her favorite shape will be a star
And sometimes her eyes will seem green, sometimes they shine a clear blue
"Then love again."
Regina sat in her study, a glass of scotch in her hand. The whole town was celebrating Snow and Emma's return, and it wasn't like anyone cared where she was. No one seemed to remember that it had been her who had bestowed Charming with the means to get his family back together.
She just felt incredibly tired. Sleep had evaded her for days. Every time she retired to her bedroom she had dreams about Daniel, always resulting in his last request.
Then love again.
For all intense and purposes it had been his last wish for her and she would at least try to comply if she didn't know that it was entirely impossible. There was a void inside her that was never to be filled again. Maleficent, may she rest in torment, had been right. But she would have never suspected this void to be called loneliness.
"Love is a weakness, Regina."
Her mother had been right and so wrong at the same time.
Loving and raising Henry was the best thing she had ever done. Her love had fueled her, empowered her. Nothing else had been more important than her son.
This was where her mother had been wrong. Loving someone didn't only make you happy and weak, but strong, protective.
Her present misery had all started with this one awful day, when he hadn't come home. When he had run away to find his real mother as he so nicely put it. She had done her best to love him and still he had left to trade her in for Emma Swan.
"I went and found my real mom!"
It had hurt her far more than she had believed it possible.
And that was where the weakness set in. Love is a gift you give freely. And in the case of her son it clearly had come unrequited. He rather stayed with his grandfather who he barely knew than with his real mother, the woman who raised and loved him.
Giving her love to a child, who was supposed to love you back hadn't seemed as impossible as romantic love. It hadn't been as risky as falling in love.
Also there wasn't a single soul in Storybrooke whose real personality didn't despise her. If she hadn't hurt them personally she had hurt their friends or families. Now there was a choice for romantic love.
The curse which should have brought her happy ending only came with loneliness.
It probably had something to do with Rumple's twisted sense of humor. His endgame was still unclear, but she didn't care anymore.
"I want to redeem myself."
She had tried. So much.
She had actually helped to get them back in the hope that Henry would realize her change, maybe even be proud of her. In her most hopeful moments she had dared to imagine him coming back to her.
Instead he hadn't even so much as looked at her.
"Emma! You're back!"
"I found you!"
It had been a chorus of Charmings and she simply hadn't been able to stand it. She had waited for two whole minutes for anyone to notice her, until it had become too painful to bear.
And now she was sitting in her office, drinking until the world started to look better and she forgot that she had ever missed the insufferable Miss Swan. Which she didn't.
Or she passed out.
She would take either one because she was out of real options. Earning Henry's love back didn't work and it didn't look like she would ever have a chance.
They were good and she was evil.
Henry was right in his black and white view of the world.
Maybe she should just leave and be done with it. Who knew what would happen if she crossed the town line? Chances were she would lose her whole memories. If she left herself a letter with instructions she might even be able to start over somewhere new.
Although she had no idea who she would be without her memories, it might be the only way to honor Daniel's wish.
"Then love again."
She was so deeply absorbed in her own thought process that she didn't hear the door of her mansion open.
It was quickly becoming a complicated task to refill her glass and not to lose her train of thought at the same time. Listening to her surroundings on top of that would simply be too much to ask.
"Regina?"
Completely shocked she looked up at the intruder and spilled a huge amount of her scotch on the table and herself. Without thinking she jumped up, put the bottle on the table and tried to rub the sticking liquid from her pants with her bare hands.
What a mess.
In an instant the intruder was at her side, grabbed some tissues from the box by the window and wiped the table clean, before she turned to her.
"Sit down."
Regina complied reluctantly. Her brain was in a haze. It was too preoccupied with the past to pay enough attention to the present to realize that she never took orders.
The next thing she noticed was a batch of blonde hair hovering over her knees, carefully dabbing at her trousers.
"I don't think that'll work."
She observed dryly, finally finding back to reality. The sight of Emma Swan on her knees had sobered her up a lot. Suddenly she was slightly embarrassed.
"You think?"
Green eyes looked up to meet her in a worried gaze.
"God, Regina, what have you been doing?"
"Drinking."
That much should be obvious.
"Yes, I can see that."
Emma had stopped treating her trousers, but didn't make any motion to get up. In fact one of her hands was still lying on Regina's thigh, making her increasingly uncomfortable. As Emma examined her Regina believed to spot worry in her eyes, but that was a ridiculous notion.
Right now she wished she could magically send her alcohol buzz away.
Emma slowly stood up, but didn't back away. It appeared that she didn't want to scare her.
Her observations were becoming more ridiculous by the minute.
"Maybe you should go upstairs and find a change of clothing."
"Sure."
Regina doubted her ability to climb the staircase right now. At her sarcastic response Emma seemed to come to the same conclusion and shrugged.
"I could help you to your room."
The offer was hesitantly delivered but nevertheless an offer that confused Regina even more. She didn't need confusion right now. She needed to drown her sorrows instead of looking at one of them.
Preferably alone.
"Why don't you tell me why you're here, Miss Swan? Just so that we both can get on with our evening activities."
Regina smirked at Emma's evident surprise to her articulate response. She could be as drunk as Leroy, her ability of speech never left her.
Not knowing what to do Emma started fidgeting with the last tissue in her hands. Regina could feel her smug smile widen. Even drunk she could still intimidate Miss Swan.
"I came here actually to talk to you, to ask you something, but since you are, er, unwell, I'll better come back tomorrow."
After giving her a hesitant look she slowly turned around. But Regina wasn't going to just accept that. She wasn't going to wonder the rest of the evening what Princess Charming (heavy sarcasm) could have possibly wanted to ask her.
"You can get all the answers you want right now. I'd say this is a uniquely advantageous situation for you. Why not benefit from the opportunity?"
Sighing Emma brushed a strand of blonde hair out of her face.
"I won't 'benefit from the opportunity', because I don't take advantage like that."
She actually had the audacity to form quotation marks in the air.
"Right, because you are the savior now, the white knight, the good person."
Regina scoffed.
"No, because I want real answers and right now you would just try to hurt me."
"Come on, Miss Swan. What do you want to know? I'll promise you that this is time to get the most real answers."
She gestured to a chair in front of her table. The possibility of spreading her hurt intrigued her. Though on second thought Emma probably was the last person, who deserved it.
Curiously she examined her own thoughts. Why did she care what Emma Swan deserved?
Deep down she knew that she felt drawn to the other woman, loved how she challenged her, but that was a notion she certainly wouldn't entertain.
Emma hesitated again. She was torn by the need to get an answer and the doubt that Regina could actually give her one in her state.
Regina knew immediately when she had made her decision, because she suddenly straightened her slump shoulders and walked to the door.
"I'll wait for answers in the living room. If you manage to get changed upstairs and come back without hurting yourself, you're probably sober enough to be talked to."
With that she simply walked out of the room.
Regina was fuming. She was to decide when and if she was able to communicate not this… person.
For a moment she pondered to just stay in her study and keep drinking until she actually forgot about Emma.
But then Emma might be too stubborn to leave.
Or worse find her passed out and decide to help.
Plus the almost empty bottle of Scotch served as a perfectly good excuse to at least make her way into the kitchen.
If she made it there she could try to conquer the stairs. Not that she was curious for the annoying woman's question. It was more that she really wanted her to leave.
She definitely didn't want to spend any time with her.
It took her a quarter of an hour to get out of her soaked dress pants and into the most comfortable jeans she had, which were still very classy and unfortunately tight. A skirt while being easier to get into was non-negotiable since she had the slight suspicion that she wouldn't be able to keep her normally controlled posture.
When she reached the living room, silently because she had left her shoes somewhere, she caught Emma sitting on the couch absent-minded toying with her necklace. She seemed not very sure of her decision to stay.
Regina sauntered over and sat right next to her. Get into someone's personal space to make them anxious. She had learned that lesson early in her life by being on the other end of the intimidation.
However she had forgotten that Miss Swan rarely backed down. Emma just sat up straight and examined her out of green eyes.
For a moment Regina actually faltered. There was nothing in Emma's expression that told her what to expect. It irked her. Normally she was so good at this.
For once it was Regina who first backed down. She didn't know what it was, but suddenly Emma's presence made her feel something new. To cover up her slip she leaned even more back, turning on her standing light.
She felt more comfortable properly seeing Emma's face. In the sudden brightness her eyes almost seemed blue.
Green or blue eyes.
A distant memory tugged at her tumbled brain, but was gone within a second. Regina shook her head to clear her thoughts and kept her curious gaze on Emma.
"So, what is it that you wanted to know?"
It felt easier to let go of her inner turmoil and focus her energies outward.
"I have a couple of questions. Can I trust that you answer honestly?"
"I thought you had the superpower of recognizing every lie. Was that a lie of yours?"
"You know very well that one can lie by omission."
She briefly considered that but shrugged. Simply because she was willing to talk to her, didn't mean she would suddenly be honest.
"I will answer as I see fit."
"Whatever."
Defeated Emma leaned back into the white sofa cushions.
"Did you do the spell that brought us back?"
"Charming didn't even feel the need to tell you that?"
"Regina, just answer me, please."
"Is that some kind of non-question you already know the answer to so that you can position your inner lie detector?"
"You did help, didn't you?"
"Yes, I did. I did not only help, but I got all the supplies and cast the actual spell."
"Thank you."
She actually sounded sincere.
"Did you try before or was it a success at first try?"
"I didn't try until I knew it would be a success. What do you want to achieve by that question?"
Emma sighed.
"Okay, I am gonna lay it on you and you can either explain it to me or laugh at me or whatever. I don't care."
It was obvious that she did indeed care; she almost seemed eaten up by it. Regina simply waited.
"When I was there, I mean, right after we fell through the portal, I felt a pull to come back. The only reasonable explanation I had was that you tried to somehow pull us magically back, but Snow didn't feel it. I asked her because I thought I was going crazy. Her answers didn't really comfort me. Though she told me that Henry could probably convince you to get me back, she thought you'd be too happy to see her gone to even try with her. She asked me about what exactly I was feeling and agreed that it was some kind of magic, but… please, Regina, tell me you have been trying all the time?"
During her little rant Emma actually conveyed some of her turmoil to Regina. It was confusing. What Emma described definitely sounded like magic, but she knew without a doubt that she hadn't been doing anything like that. At another time she would have reveled in the desperate tone of Emma's voice. Now she strangely felt the need to comfort her, to help her figure it out.
She found herself missing Emma's confident side.
"What exactly did you feel?"
"Was it you?"
Regina shook her head.
"No, but tell me anyway."
Surprised eyes met her own.
"You're going to help?"
"If you feel the need to put it that way, yes. Now, Miss Swan, a description would be helpful."
Emma rolled her eyes and sighed.
"Like I said, it was some kind of pull. It was constantly there and it started even before I was fully conscious."
"Did it ever stop or become weaker at some point?"
She shook her head.
"No, not really. I mean sometimes when we changed direction it seemed like it grew stronger, but I was exhausted so that could have been due to my imagination. Are you sure you didn't cast a spell?"
By the way it sounded Regina suspected Emma almost wanted her to be responsible.
"Miss Swan, I am trying to help you here. You have to figure out whether you want to trust me on your own."
Emma shrugged and stared at her hands, continuing to fidget with her ring.
"Did it disappear once you came back here?"
"No, I still felt it."
Her answer was reluctant and Regina knew she was getting somewhere.
"You still felt it. Does that mean that it's gone now?"
"Yes."
"When did it wear off exactly?"
Suddenly Emma's eyes blazed with anger.
"Do you get off playing me like this? I know you have something to do with it! I know I am not imagining this and it isn't some crazed feeling. You did this!"
She was taken aback by this sudden outburst.
"Excuse me? I'm trying to help and you're here accusing me of… What exactly? And what grounds do you have for these accusations?"
Emma leaned forward, perfectly imitating her regal posture:
"Because it stopped when I saw you in your study."
"What?"
That added up to some really strange conclusions.
"You felt a pull towards me?"
Emma chose not to answer.
A pull. Constantly. There was only one thing that did that.
For a moment Regina was shocked into silence. But she could imagine some people regarding that as perfect poetry, she just couldn't think of anyone who could be that cruel. Even she herself wouldn't put someone under a love spell. She had seen people jumping of cliffs because of simple attraction spells. They were dangerous and unpredictable.
She took a breath and collected her thoughts, looking up at Emma as she revealed her conclusion.
"Since we are being honest I have to tell you that it sounds a lot like a love spell."
"A love spell?"
Emma whispered hoarsely but the disbelief in her voice was more for herself than for Regina. She must have at least suspected it. While she sometimes might seem dense, she wasn't actually that stupid.
"It wasn't you?"
"No."
"But you're going to help me figure it out?"
"Yes."
With a sigh Emma shrugged out of her jacket, draping it over the armrest. Simultaneously her Sherriff's star and her gun fell out. On instinct Regina moved forward to catch the gun. It landed safely in her hand while the star clattered to the bare marble floor.
She was now slightly bending over Emma's lap. For a moment she stayed in that position looking up in very dark green eyes. Her vicinity aroused Emma.
At this insight a sudden heat coursed through her body as she leaned back, slowly as if to make sure to not come in contact with Emma again.
"Nice catch."
She was sure Emma meant to sound appreciative. Instead her voice had dipped down to a low whispering that send goose bumps all over Regina's skin.
Maybe the last drink had been a little bit too much.
Emma reached for the gun, slowly enfolding Regina's fingers from it.
"The safety is on, nothing could have happened."
They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity until Emma broke the contact leaning down to retrieve the Sherriff's star.
"You know what's funny?"
She started sounding unsure of herself and the conversational tone she was aiming for.
"When I was a kid I always drew pictures of a starlit sky. I used to lose myself in the endlessness of space, imagining my own formations since I could never remember the real ones. It was my favorite thing to do."
"Are we sharing now, Miss Swan?"
The second the sharp tone left her mouth she felt guilty, but Emma wasn't even impressed by her words. She simply looked at her lost in thought.
"Did you have a favorite hobby as a kid?"
"Miss Swan…"
"I know that when I leave this house I'll start feeling miserable again and since I am currently sitting on a very comfortable couch instead of forest dirt I am going to enjoy this feeling. Are you going to make me feel miserable again or are you going to help?"
That was a loaded question.
So Regina avoided the real question behind the words.
"I am going to help you figure out what's exactly going on with you. If it has something to do with my presence it is as much about me as it is about you, which annoys me to no end. While we are figuring this out, we can get you a little bit more comfortable. If you're thirsty you can help yourself in the kitchen."
She didn't miss the relief in Emma's nod as the other woman stood up and left the room.
Almost immediately Regina stood up and walked towards a locked cupboard, testing the doors she knew where securely closed. If she only remembered where she put the damn key…
It had been years since she had last looked through the books that this cupboard held. There were some old diaries and spell books she had collected before she had become the Evil Queen, back when her mother had still tried to teach her magic. She had always kept the spells her mother didn't want her to learn, the ones Cora deemed useless. Maybe one of them held the description of a love spell that was this strong.
Though it certainly was strange that Emma had started feeling this pull once she had arrived in the enchanted forest. Usually that would mean that the spell had to have been cast there. Deep in thought she leaned her back against the cupboard.
And that was how Emma found her when she returned with a glass of Scotch in her hand, kneeling in front of a locked cupboard with a frown etched on her face.
"Regina?"
"I'm thinking."
"Well, maybe it would be more comfortable for you to do your thinking on the couch? Or somewhere else other than the cold floor?"
"You're right."
Reluctantly she stood up. She had gotten the message that Emma wanted her to sit on the couch with her. Debating whether she should amuse herself by fulfilling Emma's wish she frowned at the other woman.
"Did you get into a fight with someone over there? Someone who would think it funny to do that to you? The savior feeling the need to be near the Evil Queen?"
Emma flinched and refused to meet her gaze when she finally sat down right next to her. Usually this kind of reaction would raise the urge to play with her, but she actually just wanted to help. It was disconcerting and with a lot less alcohol in her system she'd probably stop to think about her reactions.
"Er, I don't know."
"You have to know. Did you meet someone who did magic?"
'"Well, yeah, but I don't think…"
"Who?"
Emma gripped her glass tighter.
"Regina, that's a conversation for sober adults."
"Well, you are still sober and I am an adult."
"Funny, Regina, but not very adapt to this situation."
"Why?"
"Because, well. I'm pretty sure you're gonna react badly."
If Regina wasn't anxious before she was it now. She tried for a self-assured voice and almost managed it.
"Just tell me."
"Don't freak out, okay? We have destroyed every possibility we could think of that would allow her to follow us here."
"Who?"
But she already knew. She could only mean one person.
"We met your mother, Cora. And when you call someone insane, that's exactly how you picture them."
"What does she know?"
Emma gulped and avoided her examination by looking at the ground like she found something very interesting at her feet.
"She knows about Henry. That he's yours and mine. I'm sorry. I was being stupid. I don't know why but I just trusted her, there was this weird warm feeling and I didn't listen to Snow's warning."
Regina slowly shook her head, reined in her fear and laid her hand on Emma's arm in a comforting gesture.
"She probably made you trust her by magic. You are not half as stupid as I usually make you out to be."
With wonder Emma in her eyes stared at the hand on her arm.
"Was there a compliment hidden in that?"
Before Regina could answer, confusion dawned on Emma's features.
"Is that really all you have to say to that?"
"Well you told me that she has no way of following you here?"
"Not that we know of."
"Then I refuse to panic until I have to."
She couldn't let herself feel the panic that her mother's presence evoked, because she knew that this panic would take her over and she wasn't about to let that happen.
"What an adult thing of you to do."
Emma's response tripped with sarcasm. Regina mastered the fear of her mother with deflection.
"What kind of adult thing did you tell your mother when you left to go find me?"
By the look of Emma's face she had made the perfect point.
"I didn't. I snuck out."
She at least had the decency to look embarrassed.
"Really?"
"Hmhm."
She nods in confirmation and Regina lets out a dry laugh, immediately stopping herself. She couldn't laugh at something that Emma had done or said. Quickly she mastered her control again.
"Okay, back to the topic of our conversation. Is the pull gone now? Would you think it came back if you left? And did it start before or after you met my mother?"
Emma frowned at her, but answered accordingly.
"Yes, it is gone now. And like I said it was there when I woke up so definitely before I met your mother."
If she had felt the tug as soon as she had entered the enchanted forest it was more than likely that the spell had been cast before she had gone there.
"Can you do me a favor and open up that cupboard over there? There might be something in there that could help us."
While she looked even more confused, Emma nodded and walked over to the cupboard, only to be stopped short by the lock.
"Regina, it's locked."
"I know, I didn't want Henry to find books about magic. They could be dangerous to a child. You were a thief, weren't you? I would expect you to be able to pick a lock."
Minutes later they were both sitting on the couch again. Emma was leaning backwards, resting her head against the backrest, while Regina commented everything she read in a low voice.
Somehow her low ramblings must have acted soothingly to Emma, because by the time Regina picked up the next book, Emma was fast asleep.
Carefully Regina leaned towards her and brushed the blonde hair out of her face. Following a sudden urge she gently stroked her cheek, enjoying the smooth feeling of Emma's skin.
She had dreamed about doing just that numerous times before. Not that she would ever admit it.
And of course she blamed the alcohol for actually following through.
"Mhm."
Evidently Emma wasn't quite as fast asleep as she had thought. Her eyelashes fluttered and widened green eyes looked at her in wonder.
"You touched me."
Regina once shook her head once without backing away. Emma smirked at her, closed the distance between them again and captured Regina's lips with her own.
Emboldened by the alcohol and the longing in Emma's eyes she responded, moving her lips against hers. Emma moaned into the kiss, eagerly pulling her closer with hands that were suddenly on her back, at her neck. Regina clumsily climbed on top of Emma's lap, leaving the sweetness of her lips to start nibbling at her neck. She was elated. Being this close to Emma made her magic sing, their contact reverberating deep inside of her. She caught herself in the process of enjoying it far more than she should. Regina somply didn't want it to end.
She found Emma's pulse point and started lightly sucking she heard a soft moan originating from under her lips and she suddenly felt much more excited.
When her hands slid under her shirt caressing the soft skin of her back, Emma drew carefully back.
"We shouldn't be doing that."
"But it feels so right."
Shocked at her own voice sounding her thoughts, Regina let go of Emma's shirt.
"I know."
Emma gave her a small smile and leaned to her, giving her an incredibly sweet kiss speaking of promise.
"But you are incredibly drunk and I wouldn't want you to do anything you might regret."
"Always the white knight."
Regina teased. She wasn't ready to let this opportunity go. If they were to have sex, she could always explain her sweet kiss with sexual desires and nothing else, but Emma lifted her from her lap and sat her down to on the couch next to her with strong arms.
"You do know that I am an adult, right?"
"I know you're drunk and I don't want to wake up in prison tomorrow with sexual assault charges."
"Well as you obviously took back the position of the Sherriff and are the reigning Princess I don't think you have to worry about that."
"Still…"
Emma laid a hand on Regina's cheek and Regina tilted her head. She slowly placed soft kisses on Emma's wrist. Emma closed her eyes and in obviously took a lot of her self-control to talk again.
"Let's just talk about that tomorrow. We are in research mode right now. You wouldn't want me to do this because of a spell, would you?"
Regina snorted unhappily, but accepted the book Emma was pressing in her hands. She carefully folded her legs under her and growled.
"You're going to regret this!"
She threatened although Emma was at least halfway right. In her current condition she wouldn't be any good. At anything.
On the other hand Emma could very well just act because of the spell, though she had said that she didn't feel the pull as long as she was near her.
Slowly she got back to the research. It was the reasonable thing to do.
Somewhere between the second and the third book she skimmed through Regina was surprised by her own fatigue. She rested her eyes only for a second and was asleep in the next.
Emma was woken by bright unbroken light. She definitely wasn't in the forest anymore. Something warm and comforting was near her. Although her muscles were kind of sore she hadn't felt this relaxed in a long time.
When she finally opened her eyes she was shocked into complete consciousness. Regina's arms and head were resting on her legs, while her own head lay on the other woman's slender waist supported by her own hand.
She nearly had a panic attack, before she slowly started to untangle herself. After she had gotten herself in an upright position she looked at the peaceful sleeping woman draped across her lap. She couldn't bring herself to wake her.
Also she didn't really dare to wake her. Who knew how Regina might react to this?
Within her reach was one of Regina's spell books and she grabbed it, determined to usefully spend the time until Regina woke up. And maybe it would help her pretending not to have noticed where Regina had slept when she woke up.
Yeah, that was surely going to work.
When she started going through the book she noticed the curly writing of a younger woman. It was a collection of spells and wishes for good luck just like Regina had said.
Some were downright scary. Like an illustration to put a needle into a bird while saying a wish. Yuck.
Others were kind of sweet. Like planting lavender for luck.
But it wasn't like she really believed in that sort of thing.
She had seen Cora's magic, but believing that lavender would bring luck was too much to ask of her.
Near the middle of the book she found a page that had clearly been exposed to rain. There were little dried drops all over words that were written in a girly yet elaborate script. It was somehow familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.
"Amos Veritas" the caption proclaimed but Emma didn't even know what language it was supposed to be. If she had to guess, she'd say Latin, but that didn't get her any closer to the meaning of the words. "Amos" sure sounded a lot like Amor. Since she was looking for a love spell she started to read.
Amos Veritas
A spell to summon true love
She will hear my call from a land away
She will whistle my favorite tune.
And she will slay a dragon with her father's sword
She will detect a lie before I even utter a word
Her touch will be like magic
She will be marvelously kind and forgiving
Her favorite shape will be a star
And sometimes her eyes will seem green, sometimes they shine a clear blue
Emma's heart faltered. What the hell?
She knew Regina's handwriting very well from several notes that had been delivered to the Sherriff's office with immediate instructions on how to handle things, how to ask for an increase in the budget and so on. At the beginning it had though insulting actually been helpful. Nowadays it was just annoying.
The point she was trying to make was that this wasn't Regina's handwriting. It couldn't be. She looked a little bit closer, examining every curved letter.
Maybe it could be a girly sort of Regina's script? It was possible that she could have written it when she had been younger, like a lot younger.
When she had been still living in the fairytale world, where the spell for her tugging sensation had to have been cast.
Confusion dared to overwhelm her, but Emma squinted and tried to make sense of the words. Maybe she was just imagining things. So she closely examined every line of the spell.
Sometimes her eyes will seem green, sometimes they shine a clear blue.
She had heard people telling her that her eyes seemed to change their color regarding the brightness of the surrounding light.
Her favorite shape will be a star.
Well, that was a given.
She will be marvelously kind and forgiving.
Those were some words she wouldn't describe herself with. Although one of her greatest faults was that when she actually loved someone she used to be almost too forgiving. She was never ready to let them go again, which was why she usually refused to let anyone near her.
Well, it surely had failed in Storybrooke. Apart from the fact that she had found her mother and had been friends with her over the last year, she loved Henry. Then there was Regina who she already had forgiven for a lot. And probably would have to forgive for other things that would come into the light in the future.
Her touch will be like magic.
She did help Regina to open the portal, didn't she? It hadn't seemed like Regina had been able to do it alone. So loosely interpreted, it fit.
She will detect a lie before I even utter a word.
Check. Although she had no idea if she always spotted Regina's lies, because she so often worked with omission or lied to herself, she still had her superpower.
And she will slay a dragon with her father's sword.
Er, yeah. No comment on that.
She will whistle my favorite tune.
An image rose in Emma's mind.
One day Regina had caught her humming in the station. At first Emma hadn't even noticed her standing there and when she had finally looked up Regina had just stared at her. And instead of insulting her or anything like she usually did, she had told her to pick up Henry from school. Before Emma could have answered, the other woman had been gone.
What had been even stranger had been the loud music sounding through the Mayor's mansion when she had brought Henry home.
"Oh no, it's classics day."
Henry had begged her to leave for at least another hour but Emma hadn't been about to irritate Regina after she had freely allowed her to see Henry.
With a short goodbye Henry had run up to his room and Emma had caught Regina sitting in the living room humming loudly to the same serenade that had been playing in Emma's head. It hadn't been difficult to recognize since she only knew the one. She didn't even know its name, just the resounding melody of the orchestra. One of her foster moms had played it every evening before they went to bed.
Somehow it had stuck.
Maybe it had been Regina's favorite 'tune'.
She will hear my call from a land away.
She had felt the tug from another realm.
Everything fit, but it was still weird.
She couldn't picture a younger Regina spelling a person she didn't even know to fall for her. It didn't make any sense at all.
While her confusion threatened to overwhelm her again she kept staring at the page as if it would give her an answer.
Right at the bottom of the page there was a barely legible scrawl of two additional sentences.
The girl I dreamed up doesn't exist. And if she doesn't exist, my mother can never take someone away from me again.
When the meaning of the sentence sunk in, a need to take this young girl into her arms rose inside her and took over her whole body, especially considering that it was a young girl who had been tormented by Cora.
Snow had just recently told her why Regina hated her that much and Henry had let it slip that they had met a zombie in the stables. David had confirmed to her that it had been Daniel. She couldn't imagine what kind of emotional torture it had to have been for Regina.
Following her rising instincts she protectively laid her arm on the other woman's shoulders. As much as she was a force to be reckoned with when she was awake, her slender form almost appeared to be easily breakable.
Without thinking about it Emma bent forward to push a strand of chocolate brown hair out of Regina's face. She let her hand linger on the cheek enjoying for a moment the softness of her skin, before she slowly pulled away and just looked at Regina.
Lost in sleep she seemed peaceful. It made her look even more beautiful than usual. Her full lips were slightly opened, the scar barely visible over in the shimmering light of dawn.
Carefully Emma let a finger glide over the scar.
She had known her feelings for Regina before she had started feeling this pull towards her, this pull towards home. There had been a reason that she had risked her own life to protect her. It had been instinctual and not the least bit about Henry.
Her attraction to the infuriating woman had been there right from the start. She had noticed after one of her fights that the terrible mood Regina had left her in partly came out of dissatisfaction.
When she had realized she had actually fallen in love with her, she had tried to get away. It was her usual knee-jerk reaction to feelings. At first she had tried to take Henry with her, but that had been out of fear to disappoint him. She had always known that Regina was a good mother.
Lost in her own thoughts she had started sorting through Regina's hair, massaging her scalp.
She didn't notice what she was doing until Regina opened her eyes to look up at her with a content smile.
Emma felt herself return the warm smile and wished she could hold on to that moment. Whatever the strange circumstances were, Regina was waking up in her arms, smiling up at her.
"Morning, sleepyhead", she said in a low voice that surprised even herself.
Of course Regina jerked upward as soon as she lost the sleep induced haze and glared at her.
"Miss Swan, what are you doing in my house?"
It was too easy to resist the temptation so Emma smirked and answered innocently.
"Well, don't you remember what happened last night?"
For a second the shadow of suspicion appeared on Regina's features and she actually looked down in an unmistakable gesture. She was making sure that she was still wearing her clothes.
"As I recall, you've been asleep long before me."
"Yes, I was."
Emma admitted her grin widening.
"But someone woke me up again."
"I did?"
She wasn't sure whether Regina wasn't remembering or still in the process of waking up.
"You did."
Regina's hand ghosted to her own lips and a small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.
"I did, hm?"
So she was remembering. And she wasn't freaking out. Maybe that came later. Right now Emma had another issue to address. She pointedly raised the book in her hand.
"But you left reading material lying around."
The decision came to her in a split second and she pushed the opened book into Regina's hands.
"Read it and tell me, whether that was you. I am going to look for water and some painkillers that you most definitely will need."
"Water and painkillers sound appealing, but…"
Before Regina could hold her back, Emma left the room. She felt Regina's fuming stare in her back, but sauntered out of the room anyway. Torn she hastily gathered a bottle of water and some pills from a high cupboard in the kitchen. On the one hand she really didn't want to see Regina's reaction on the other hand she needed to. So she sneaked back to the living room, pausing in the doorway to observe her.
Regina sat cross-legged on the couch, now glaring at the book instead of her. It seemed to take her a moment to let the words sink in. Her rigid shoulders slumped as she carefully raised a hand to her cheek in shock.
She looked up and found Emma's gaze. Pure shook dominated her features. Emma had never seen her expression so open, so honestly shaken.
"I am so sorry."
So it was true. But it wasn't like she hadn't already known that.
"So, what does that mean exactly?"
She asked in an offhand tone before she handed over the painkillers and let herself fall on the couch again.
Probably to gain some time to think Regina took the pills before facing her.
"I don't exactly know."
"You don't know?"
Emma had been understanding up until now. She hadn't freaked out because it wouldn't do them any good, but that didn't mean that she didn't feel the need to freak. But before Emma could really lose it, Regina held up a hand, stopping her.
"No, Emma. Don't get me wrong. I want to figure this out for you. It's just… I was very young when I did this spell. I didn't understand any magic and the only reason it took was because I had more power than I could have imagined."
Confusion took Emma over as she started gnawing at her lower lip, she didn't even look up as Regina started talking again.
"It was meant for me, you do understand that, don't you? I did it, because I never wanted to feel loss again."
She still didn't look at Regina, lost in her own confused feelings. It proved to be a mistake, since Regina took her silence the wrong way. Without a warning the older woman's voice broke.
"I am sorry that I did it, Emma. I took advantage of the spell yesterday and kissed you. I shouldn't have done it. I'll figure out a way to overrule the spell."
Surprised Emma took in Regina's anxious expression. That was the opposite of the woman she knew.
"You're sorry?"
"Of course. You should be with your family right now. I've destroyed enough of your life and you shouldn't have to suffer through these feelings when you're probably despising me. Casting a spell like that is worse than the things I did. I've seen what people under a love spell can become. That's the last thing anyone could understand under the description of redemption. It's…"
Emma silenced her by putting a finger to her mouth. When Regina finally looked at her, she closely examined her features. She knew what she was feeling, but she had to be sure what Regina was feeling too.
"Would you be sorry for kissing me, if it wasn't for this spell?"
Hurt crossed over Regina's exceptionally unprotected features and told Emma more than she was asking.
"I responded to something I thought you wanted."
Her answer was quick and sure, more guarded than her open face.
"You woke me up, Regina."
Emma reminded her, but didn't give her a chance to object her.
"Why did you help us getting us back?"
"For Henry to trust me again."
This time her voice started to waver. She knew very well that Emma would catch her lie.
"Was there any other reason?"
Suddenly Regina shoved her back to the couch, glaring at her.
"Do you feel the need to torture me in return for your feelings?"
"What?"
Emma shook her head and shifted her weight to put a little bit more distance between them. She had gotten the answer she wanted to have. Maybe she would have wanted Regina to actually say it, but of course she would never admit that she felt something for her. Not at least until she knew without a doubt that her feelings were mutual.
"I would never want to torture you."
"Well, let's test that theory when that spell is lifted and you're realizing that you actually kissed me."
Slowly Emma put a hand to Regina's cheek, caressing the soft skin. Despite herself Regina leaned in to the contact, feeling her eyes fluttering when the desire to enjoy this feeling threatened to overwhelm her. Emma leaned forward and nuzzled Regina's smooth neck.
"Emma…"
"Shhh. What I am feeling for you, it's not a spell."
"How can you…?"
Again she silenced Regina with a single finger. Then she talked between setting kisses over Regina's jaw line.
"Your spell was activated when I first got into the enchanted forest because that's where you had made the spell and I started to feel a pull towards you. But I started being attracted to you long before that."
Regina felt weaker than she would have ever allowed herself to feel
"You did?"
"Shhh, listen. I've been attracted to you since I first saw you. You were so beautiful and so secure of yourself. It was beyond sexy."
"Emma…"
"Attraction of course isn't necessarily the same someone would feel under a love spell. And I realize that you probably need proof, but why did you think I protected you after the curse broke? Sure, I could explain it with Henry, but Henry certainly didn't ask me to put your life before mine. That's what I did, when I pushed you out of the wraith's way. That's why I ended up in the enchanted forest."
Regina's expression could only be described as tortured.
"Emma, the spell makes you feel the need to please me. It's not real. If you stayed we would never know if it was because of the spell."
It was a last desperate attempt and surely sounded like one. Emma just gave her a crooked grin.
"Yeah, well all relationships have their problems."
Regina suddenly stood up, grabbed her by the wrist and tried to pull her upwards.
"You need to leave. You think this is real, but it isn't."
Emma looked up at her with a self-assurance she had never felt in her life before.
"You know that spells like that only have power if you believe in them. And I don't, because I know that I've felt this way before all of this happened. This pull from your spell was only a guideline for me to get back where I belong to."
She stood slowly up. Since Regina was still barefoot, she was actually a little bit taller than her. Coupled with her anxious expression it increased how small she looked in that moment. Emma carefully lifted a hand to caress her cheek.
"I love you."
Without surprise she noticed tears forming in Regina's eyes.
"You don't want to believe me because you don't think you deserve it, but after all that you've been through you do deserve it."
She took Regina's hands in her own, feeling an all too familiar tingle forming in her arms.
"Your spell brought me to you yesterday. Right now I am here on my own volition. And you know it, because you can feel it is true."
Emma brought her linked hands up to rest them over Regina's heart.
"You feel it here."
She knew she was going out on a limb. Normally she wasn't the person to put herself out there. Under normal circumstances she would have run as far away as she could. But this wasn't normal. At all.
Yesterday and this morning she had felt a glimpse of what she could have and she wasn't about to let this go.
And she had closely watched Regina's reaction to her. She was sure.
"Emma, you're not thinking straight. It's the spell…"
"No, Regina, I am most definitely not thinking straight",
She smirked at her, pressing her hand over her heart.
"But I am sure. Trust me. Take a leap of faith."
"I don't have any faith."
Emma instinctively pulled her in a firm hug and whispered into her ear.
"Then have faith in me."
A moment passed until Regina freed herself of the embrace only to catch Emma's lips in a passionate kiss.
Immediately Regina felt overwhelmed by the wave of feelings that hit her. She hadn't believed herself capable of this depth of emotions anymore. In return she tightly held on to Emma's shirt, pulled the other woman closer to her, feeling her everywhere.
Strong hands stroked over her hair, slid down her back and pressed on her backside, forcing them ever nearer together.
And Regina relented into Emma's touch. She allowed Emma to lift her, wrapping her arms around her.
"Bed?"
A barely recognizable whisper asked on her neck.
"Upstairs."
Regina ordered tilting her head to embrace Emma's lips into another series of desperate passionate kisses, as she felt Emma walking them towards the stairs.
And slowly but surely she lost herself in the way Emma's tongue struggled with hers for dominance, the way Emma's hands were strongly holding her, caressing her back, the way it made her feel safe and protected, made her feel loved…she lost herself in everything that was Emma and she knew that this was what it was supposed to be like for her.
This was how her happy ending was supposed to feel like.
Please review. I'm kinda new at fanfiction and I would love to know what you guys think!