Chapter 9

Kurt had started his drive with determination, but now taking the exit to Westerville only moments away from the hospital butterflies had taken over his stomach once more. Forcing himself to take deep breaths, he parked the car and walked to the entrance hall where he had agreed to meet Nick. The younger boy was already waiting for him and together they made their way to the right floor discussing their tactic all the way. They both agreed that Kurt should talk to Blaine alone, and way too fast for Kurt's liking, he found himself gently pushing open the door to Blaine's room.

Blaine didn't look much better than the day before, the white sheets still matched his complexion, but at least now he was awake. The moment Kurt had entered, their eyes had met, and to his surprise Blaine remained calm, albeit a bit fidgety.

"Hi." he mumbled, pushing away the remainder of his hospital breakfast, still mostly untouched.

"Hey." Kurt answered, moving right into the room to take the seat next to Blaine's bed.

There was silence for a moment, an awkward void accompanied by Blaine's fidgeting and Kurt staring forcefully out of the window. Then, they both tried to speak up.

"Listen, I ..." "Blaine,..."

They both stopped, looked at each other and after a deep breath Blaine continued speaking.

"Thank you for coming." he said.

"Always." Kurt answered.

"You didn't have to." The younger boy insisted.

"I wanted to. Blaine, I promised you, I'd always be there for you and I haven't been, so of course I'd come." Kurt said softly.

"I cheated on you, why would you still want to be here. I don't want your charity, I don't deserve it."

"We don't always get what we deserve. I came and I am not leaving till we've talked." Kurt answered with a certain steel in his voice. Despite his tone, which made Blaine quite obviously squirm, there was also a hopeful glimmer in his former boyfriend's eyes.

"Now, I want to be honest with you. I haven't forgiven you yet for what happened." Blaine's face fell.

"I am not saying I never will, but I need time. In the meantime, I am still your friend and I want to know you're okay."

"I'm fine." Blaine mumbled in reply, his eyes no longer on Kurt, but downcast studying his bruised hands.

Agitated Kurt grabbed him by the shoulder and gave him a shake. Blaine gasped, but his attention was back on Kurt, who spoke while holding on to Blaine's shoulders.

"You're not fine Blaine. You are in hospital after you were beaten up and found unconscious in an alley. Do you have any idea what could have happened to you? Don't you think I know what has really been going on?"

Having vented somewhat, Kurt sat back down watching Blaine as he nervously bit his lip.

"How long? How long has this been going on, Blaine?" His voice had been colder than he had intended and Kurt could see that Blaine was close to tears.

"Three weeks." was the quiet response from the hospital bed, and indeed it was choked as if Blaine was seconds away from sobbing uncontrollably. Immediately Kurt scooted closer and grabbed his hand.

"Why?" Kurt pressed as gently as he could.

Tears now started to roll down Blaine's face as he answered.

"I don't know. I felt horrible after what I had done to you and at first I just went boxing in the gym and for a moment it made me feel better or at least it made me feel numb. It was after I had been back at Dalton that things really got out of control. I felt like Nick had betrayed me and ..."

Blaine suddenly stopped and wiped the tears from his face in silence. Kurt had already heard the story of Blaine's visit to Dalton and Nick's guilt over playing on his friend's emotion. Kurt didn't know if he was more mad about that or Nick's inability to notice that Blaine had not been alright. Nevertheless, pointing the finger didn't solve anything now, so instead he turned back to Blaine.

"And what? You can tell me. I know that there is blame to share and I'm not innocent. I'm not saying you had a right to cheat, but I know you good enough to know that there must have been a reason and my constant absence was probably a part of it."

Apparently Kurt had nailed it straight on the head, because Blaine winced and then gave a short nod.

"I am not, I am not blaming you. But in my darkest thoughts and listening to that song, I thought you had left me because I was too messed up and that you couldn't have really loved me if you broke your promise so easily." As the words were spoken Blaine stared at the wall across him pointedly avoiding Kurt's reaction.

"Blaine, I ..." Kurt choked.

"No, I know I had no right to think that. I know it's not true, but I'm trying to explain why I went back. I hated myself for it, but it made me feel something and that was good enough, at least for the moment." Blaine said.

"It has to stop." Kurt announced his eyes searching for answers in Blaine's expression.

The other boy nodded stiffly.

"I know. I just don't know how." came the much quieter response.

Kurt let out a deep sigh. There was the crux of the matter. Blaine needed help, and Kurt was glad that he acknowledged that fact, but it didn't solve their main problem. There was no one in Blaine's immediate environment who knew about these fights. Sure, Nick would be there from now one, but Blaine wouldn't be in the self-contained environment he had been in at Dalton. There was no way Nick would be able to provide the support Blaine needed. Neither could he. For one he had to go back to New York eventually, and then he wasn't quite ready to deal with Blaine as if nothing had ever happened. He doubted it would work for his former boyfriend either.

"You need people at McKinley who are there to support you. We get you back to your therapist and you can talk to Nick and me, but they have to know Blaine. We'll tell them together if you want or I'll do it myself, but they need to know." Kurt said squeezing Blaine's hand for comfort as he withdrew with a frightened expression on his face.

"No. No you can't. They'll think I am crazy , some lunatic. They'll think I just want the pity. I, I can't... Kurt." Blaine vehemently shook his head, his whole body shaking with emotion.

Immediately Kurt moved closer to Blaine and now held on to both of his hands while speaking gently but determined.

"You need help Blaine. You're not fine and you're not perfect, but that's ok. You need to stop pretending and show people the real you. They're your friends, they're not gonna hurt you or leave you or think you weak."

With those last words Kurt had pulled Blaine, who had started to softly cry again, closer and now held him in a hug as Nick moved in with a middle aged women in tow. He questioningly raised an eyebrow at their embrace, which Kurt only met with a half-attempted shrug and a questioning nod of his own towards the stranger in the room.

"His therapist." Nick mouthed not loud enough for Blaine to hear and Kurt nodded.

Gently he pried himself from Blaine's hug and settled back into the chair.

This would be a long morning indeed.