AN: Oppa Gangnam Style! I just watched that for like the millionth time. It never gets old. Too bad there were no waffles.

-Chapter 2-

Lanius was an old soldier. He had been a warrior who would attack 20 man squads by himself. The men that were his enemies feared him, and for good reason. His tribe however, were not as such. When Naruto had walked into their camp, his tribe had surrendered immediately, driving him to an inconsolable rage. In his rage, he managed to take down 75 of the shinobi of the tribe before being knocked out.

When he awoke, his face had been horribly scarred. That's when Naruto walked in. In the mans hands was a helmet forged to look like the God of War Mars and a sword called The Blade of the West. He had said that he healed him because he was strong. That he needed a strong man to lead his forces to unite the west.

Lanius accepted without hesitation, his only request was to kill all the members of his former home. Naruto said make it the men and leave the woman and children, and you've got a deal. Since then, Lanius had been Naruto's greatest general, advisor, and friend. Gaining the moniker 'The Monster of the West'.

Now, in his golden ages, he was doing his duty to the empire he helped forge.

"Now, we will open the floor to the clans for questions."

With that, the head of the Kahn Clan, Shao Kahn, stood," You have come here to participate in one of our most sacred tournaments. Do you know how it got started?"

"Please, enlighten us." The Tsuchikage said.

"The tournament is just a once a year thing. It pit's the greatest fighters in the entire empire against each other. Only the strong survive it. One person from each of your villages may enter. The same with us, each district will submit one fighter. These were the rules set down by our Emperor, and so they shall be upheld! The lot of you should feel honored to know that you are the first outsiders to participate, much less watch the entire thing."

Another clan head stood." My name is Tia Harribel. My question is, what do you expect to gain while here?"

The Raikage answered," Were hoping for an alliance. We wish to be allies so that in the future, we might become stronger together. We do not wish to be your enemies, as the others most likely do too. We however wish to, during the tournament, show our strength, as I can tell you respect that."

Lanius spoke up," You are correct. We do not like weakness. But, your definition of weakness might not be ours. Our strength comes from our unity. Our ability to rely on each other. I will inform the Emperor of your self appointed task."

The Tsuchikage stood next," We came here to see what the empire was like, and to see if you are a threat. We too do not wish for war, however we do not want you as allies."

The Mizukage stood, many of the men ogling her," The Mist is here to form an alliance like Kumo. We however wish this through a marriage to someone of the Empire."

The Kazekage, Gaara stood next," I came here to see if my friend Naruto Uzumaki was here. I have sorely missed him."

"And what, pray tell, will you do if we show you where Naruto is?" Questioned Lanius.

"I will embrace him in friendship like he did me all those years ago. I have missed him and his optimistic ways. My life seemed, empty, without him being my friend."

Silence pervaded the room as Lanius stared at Gaara, and Gaara at Lanius. Finally, Lanius spoke," After the meetinf, I will take you to him. Now, Mizukage, who are you \offering in the marriage?"

"A female swordswoman named Ameyuri Ringo. She is the most suitable of candidates."

"I will also ask you to bring your subordinate to the Imperial Palace tonight for the banquet with the Emperor."

Soon it was Tsunade's turn," I have come to have my strongest shinobi participate in the tournament. And to see if the Emperor will reconsider combining our lands into a larger empire. Maybe I can also take a look at his sick child."

Lanius nodded.

Orochimaru stood," I wish to see the Emperor and speak of combining our lands. My daughter, Tayuya, is one of his wives. I was hoping he would accept."

Lanius nodded again," Yes, he has spoken about this to me in the event you brought it up. He told me personally to inform you that he does accept."

With that done, the Kages were sent back to their rooms.

-Later that night, Banquet hall in the Imperial Palace-

Naruto was preparing for the banquet when his door opened and his daughter, Yachiru, ran in in a pink kimono." Daddy! Why do I have to wear this? Can't I wear my awesomely cool shirt?"

"No, Yachiru. You need to wear it. I hate it as much as you do, but I still wear it."

Soon, his wife, Fuu, came in, obviously pregnant. She leaned down and kissed him." Naruto, the guests have arrived. I told Jasper to take them to the dining room. Harribel and the others have gone to her fathers, Barragan's, estate for the duration of the month. Its just you, me, Koda, and Yachiru. Stark went with Harribel."

"Thank you for telling me. How is Koda?"

"He should be fine enough to make it through dinner."

"Ok then, lets go get him and have a nice dinner."

-With the Mizukage-

Ameyuri was not happy. Her kage had practically sold her off to the Emperor. Now here she was, wearing a purple kimono with socks and tabi, waiting in the didning room with her hair out of her usual style.

'Kami, why? What did I do? Besides being a killer, what did I do?'

So she sat there until the door at the end of the room opened and in came the Emperor, one of his wives, and his two children. Ameyuri looked at the children, the boy, Koda if she recalled, looked rather sick, but had spiky blackish hair and green eyes. He was wearing a small soldiers uniform made to fit him. It consisted of a green double sided buttoned jacket and green pants with black boots. He looked absolutely bored.

The girl was grinning and waving in a friendly manner, wearing a pink kimono. She sat by Ameyuri and smiled at her, she for some reason gave one back. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

Standing at the head of the table, mask secure over his head, Naruto addressed th gathered people," Thank you those of you from the east for being here. Thank you fighters for putting your bodies and lives on the line. I would now like each fighter to introduce themselves."

"Barrakka of the Imperial District."

"Chojuro of the Mist."

"Kirabi from Cloud."

"Kurotsuchi from Rock."

"Pakura from Sand."

"Sasuke Uchiha from the Leaf."

"Lanius of the Iron District."

"Thank you all for being here. I would now explain the origin of the tournament. In the beginning of the Empire, we had many people with grudges against each other. So, to fix this, I came up with a tournament. A way to let the people settle their problems. So I had each district, as there are twelve in the empire, send their greatest fighters to compete in a tournament. The people would watch and they would chose a side. The side that won, would get whatever was being argued about in their way."

The kages had to respect that. It was an effective way of settling problems.

"And now, time for the food!" With that, Naruto took his place at the head of the table, the kages and their fighters, along with Ameyuri to see her future husband, wathced with bated breath as he took his mask off. Tsunade gasped with shock and Sasuke snarled with anger.

"Yo, Granny. How ya been?"

AN: Boom. Stop, in the name of the…. I don't know how this song goes. So heres a waffle * Shows a half eaten waffle* Fuck you!

(Omake 1)

Sasuke stood before the man he would fight in the first round." Give up now loser, you can't win."

The figure just narrowed his eyes, and charged.

Sasuke was beginning to lose, he was taking so many hits! He was kicked into the air and viciously slammed into the ground.

"Who are you?"

"I'M RICK JAME BITCH!"

(Omake 2)

Sasuke stood before the man he would fight in the first round." Give up now loser, you can't win."

The figure just narrowed his eyes, and charged.

Sasuke was beginning to lose, he was taking so many hits! He was kicked into the air and viciously slammed into the ground.

"Who are you?"

"I'm fucing Charlie Sheen bitch!"

With that, Charlie called on his warlock powers and tigers blood to summon cocaine, his mighty white sword, to smite the man who dared attack his home!

With a mighty yell, Charlie Sheen turned Sasuke into ash in the wind.

Yelling to the cheering crowd, Charlie Sheen shouted, I'M COMING FOR YOU RICK JAMES! WE WILL HAVE OUR BATTLE!"

And that's when SHIT. GOT. SERIOUS.