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Why Nothing Ever Happened

"For the first 19 years of my life nothing happened. Nothing at all."

Before she turned 19, Rose Tyler had two lists: "Things that happened" and "Things that didn't". They were two distinct lists and the latter had many more things than the first. But in hindsight, it made sense. If Rose Tyler had been given everything that she should have been given she would have never grown. She would have never turned into the spunky, kind, strong, brave woman that could make a man in a leather jacket with a blue police box give her the opportunity of a lifetime. If Rose Tyler had been given all the things she deserved, she would have never become the Rose Tyler the Doctor could love.

When she was young, Rose always figured that she should have been rich. She was positive that she was supposed to be a princess and her father was supposed to be a king who would float in the sky in a zeppelin (no matter how hard she tried, Rose could never quite explain where that part of her fantasy came from). Rose even went so far as to tell her mother her dreams to which her mother only shook her head and told her that it was time for her to take her bath. Rose was never had money.

Sometimes, Rose played dress-up as a girl. It was one of her favorite games and she would attempt to convince anyone who stepped into the flat to play it with her. But the best games of dress-up were the ones at Mary's house because she had a total of 16 different dresses. Some of them were long, some were white, some had flowers on them, others came with necklaces. But the best one was a beautiful pink dress that had a full skirt and pink shoes with bows on them. Rose never got to wear that dress even though she wanted to.

Every other person Rose knew had stopped wishing on stars by the time they reached age ten, but she never stopped. She wished for a friend when she was eight. She wished for her mom's boyfriend to become her father when she was 12. Rose wished that she would get a boyfriend at the age of 16. When she was 19, she wished that someone would love her. Rose Tyler never stopped wishing.

Rose always wanted a dad. She was well aware that she technically had one, but she couldn't remember Pete Tyler so, just like any other person, she wished for one. She sat and watched as her mother dated man after man after man. She had liked some, she had tolerated most, and hated a select few. There were some men that came and talked to her and took both her and her mother out for chips. Rose had liked them the best. She barely tolerated the ones that brought her presents because even as a little girl she had refused to let her love be bought. She has despised the ones that came to the flat and were shocked to learn that Jackie had a daughter. Those were the ones who had yelled at her mother. Those were the ones that had made Jackie cry and that had made Rose sad. Rose never had a dad.

Rose had always swung on the swing set in the local park. She had discovered it as a young girl and it had been her favorite place to play. When she was 14 and she went there for the first time in years with tears in her eyes. She had run there crying because her mother's new boyfriend had yelled at her and threatened to kick her out of the flat if she didn't stop causing Jackie trouble. His name had been Phillip and he was the first one of Jackie's boyfriends that Rose truly wanted to make disappear. For months after Rose had gone to the park when things had gotten hard, but then the boys that bullied her at school found out about the swing set and Phillip started coming and trying to talk to her there, so Rose had been forced to give it up. She had wanted that park to be her sanctuary so badly, but it couldn't be her safe place if her nightmares could find her there. Rose had never had a sanctuary.

At the tender age of 16, Rose had thought that the greatest sign of true love was a man dancing with a woman. She had seen old movies and you always knew who was in love with whom based on whom they danced with. So she had started looking for a man to dance with her. She spent Fridays with her friends in clubs with the sole intent to meet a man with whom she could have her 1940's movie moment. She met many men, all of whom could dance, but none of whom she could truly dance with. Rose never met her dance partner.

When Rose turned 17, she found herself set on the idea of leaving Europe and going to America for a summer. It had been one of those things that she had wanted to do for a few years but had only just realized was an actual possibility if she really worked for it. She had worked overtime and holidays for a year and each penny that wasn't used to pay for clothes or food went into her "America Fund". That is, until her mother had lost her job and Jackie's boyfriend stolen a thousand pounds from them and Rose's "America Fund" had been the only thing keeping food on the table. Rose never left the country.

By the time Rose was 19 she had given up on falling in love. She had resigned herself to contentment and she had rationalized that maybe what she labeled "contentment" was actually love for someone who has gone through a couple hard relationships. Maybe contentment was just a more adult form of love. That head-over-heels feeling was just for teenagers who had just been on their first date and experienced their first kiss. Love was for those too inexperienced to see trouble and heartbreak. At the age of 19, Rose Tyler had never fallen in love.

As she walked down into Henrick's basement, Rose thought of everything she had never had.

As she ran away from Henrick's while it exploded, Rose had no idea what things she was about to be given.

Rose was never rich, so it made her heart swell when the Doctor would buy her some expensive trinket without a second thought, which he did every chance he got. Most of the time, Rose didn't even manage to say how much she liked something before the Doctor had bought if for her. More often than not, Rose would return to her room on the TARDIS and she would find some gift on the bed with a lengthy explanation of what it was sitting next to it. Because Rose was never rich, she could appreciate that the Doctor didn't care about something's price tag.

Rose never wore frilly dresses as a girl, so it just made the TARDIS's closet that much more impressive. The first time she had walked into the closet her mouth had dropped open and she had been certain that she was dreaming. The rows and rows of clothes. Her first thought, as childish as it was, was to think that the Doctor's closet would have been the best thing when she was five and played dress-up. When she wanted down-time hanging around the TARDIS, Rose often went and would try on the hundreds of different outfits from all times and places. It made her feel like a princess and she loved it. Because Rose never wore frilly dresses as a girl, the Doctor would secretly buy her the most beautiful dresses he could find.

Rose never stopped wishing on stars, so when the Doctor took her to see to the year 7853 to see a meteor shower, Rose wanted to cry. Hundreds of potential wishes flying above her head and, honestly, she wasn't quite sure what to wish for. So Rose just leaned into the Doctor's hug and fell asleep listening to the sound of both of his hearts. It was the best night of her life. Because Rose never stopped wishing on stars, the Doctor gave her every one of her wishes.

Rose never had a dad, so the Doctor goes out of his way to take her to experience things that Pete Tyler would have experienced. If there is one thing the Doctor is good at, it's research. So one day he goes and learns all that he can about Pete Tyler while Rose sleeps soundly in the TARDIS. The Doctor asks about his favorite food, music, color, experience. He learns everything; all the while thinking about the fact that the man he is talking to will never know that his daughter is sleeping peacefully only meters away, a hole in her heart where her father should have been. But that hole just makes it even more special when the Doctor takes Rose to see Pete Tyler propose to Jackie, feigning shock at the coincidence the whole time. Because Rose never had a father, the Doctor goes out of his way to make sure that he fills that hole in her heart.

Rose had never had a sanctuary, so it means the world to her when the Doctor welcomes her into the TARDIS. He lets her go anywhere and she has keys to every one of the rooms except his, but that wasn't how it had always been. When she had first started travelling with the Doctor, she could only get into her room and the rooms that didn't have a lock. She had to earn every one of the keys she was given. And then the Doctor regenerated and right before they landed in New New York, he handed her a whole key ring full of keys and promised her that she could go in any room in the TARDIS. After all, it was her home now, wasn't it? She was not quite sure what to think about the fact that the Doctor was willing to trust his home to her in its entirety. It had taken her months to realize that she had never been in the Doctor's room and that she didn't have a key to it. It hurt Rose that he had neglected to give her the most important key, but that disappointment was drowned in the joy that came with learning that for the first time Rose had a place she could go to where she would always be safe. If she had come back to the TARDIS after their adventure with the daleks and the cybermen, Rose would have found a single solitary key on her bed labeled "the one room you don't have a key to". She never gets that key and it sits on her bed for the rest of eternity. Because Rose has never had a sanctuary, the Doctor bends over backward to make the TARDIS a place safe for her.

Rose never had a man who would dance with her, so when the Doctor waltzes with her in the 1940s, it is part of a dream come true. In the two years that they will travel together, the Doctor dances with Rose more times than she can count. They dance at fancy parties, at casual get-togethers, in the TARDIS with music blaring at the most unreasonable decibels. The longer the two travel together, the more they dance and the more Rose hopes that the Doctor loved her as much as she loves him. Because a man had never truly danced with Rose, the Doctor takes every opportunity he can to pull her into his arms and spin her around.

Rose had never left the country, so when the Doctor takes her to America in the summer of 2004 and takes her to do all the things she had wanted to do when she was 17, it takes away her breath and she remains speechless for hours. It means the world to her that a man who would obviously be much happier to take her to see the first anti-gravity Olympics, would take her to walk around Central Park. Because Rose had never left the country, the Doctor takes her everywhere.

Rose had never fallen in love, so it shocks her when she finds that she isn't just the Doctor's best friend anymore. She had always thought that falling in love would be something that would happen in the blink of an eye. She thought that she would be able to pinpoint the exact moment and be able to say "There. That's where I fell in love." But that's not what it's like. Not at all. It takes two years and it shocks her when she discovers that she can fall in love with anyone. Because Rose Tyler had never fallen in love, the Doctor couldn't help but give her his heart.

Author's Note: Just a little plot bunny that was floating around my head. I hope you liked it and thank you for reading and reviewing.

Have a magnificent day,

-When In Doubt, Smile