Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.

Rating: T , just to make sure.

Pairing: Clint/Coulson

Warning: Mental instability, depression, mention of PTSD, swearing, verbal abuse, they have a daughter to make the fic work.

A./N.: I watched the movie two days ago and had a day-dream about Clint and Phil.

And the story is the result of my musing.

I'm not a doctor and can just use what I know or learned on the internet. I use facts the way I need them to make my muse work (she likes to irk me sometimes), though, so it's not correct and I messed a little with the events.

I hope you can forgive me and enjoy the story nonetheless.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Six months.

Six months ago his husband asked him to leave.

The divorce papers were sent by mail two weeks after he was forced to leave.

And now Fury told him that his ex-husband and love of his life was dead.

DEAD.

It was his fault, Loki took control over his mind and body.

He betrayed S.H.I.E.L.D. and helped Loki to regain entry to the helicarrier and a way out of his cell.

Clint was sure he killed Phil in some way.

His 13 years old daughter refused to see him, he tried to talk to her and convince her to move in with him but she screamed at him to leave her alone and get the hell out of her life.

She blamed him for the divorce.

She blamed him for Phil's death.

She had every right to.

He took the compromising mission and it backfired, badly.

And now he lay here, in medical.

Strapped to a bed and drugged to his eyeballs with the best antidepressants the Agency had to offer.

Every time he closed his eyes he saw his Phil, he could even hear him.

His smile, his hero crush on Steve, his beautiful eyes and his soothing voice.

He wanted to cry but he couldn't and he hadn't the slightest idea why.

Nick put him in medical after he broke down for good.

It was hard to live with what he'd done but to know Phil was one more name on his list of killed Agents was too much.

So he lost it once and for all after things calmed down a little.

"Clint?" Nick had a bruised jaw, where Clint's fist had connected with his bone, four days ago.

Fury tried to touch his apathetic friend and set him off.

The archer yelled and hit everyone who tried to approach him.

So Nick had to knock him out and dragged his ass down to medical.

"Hey," he answered softly. He felt terrible.

"I have to tell you something," Nick sat down on the chair next to the bed and eyed his old friend for a while before he spoke.

He placed a hand on top of Clint's while he spoke.

Explaining that Phil wasn't dead. That they lied to convince the Avengers to form a team against Loki. And that he was sorry.

Then came the question Nick asked him for months.

What happened between him and Phil?

Clint said nothing.

He felt betrayed and abandoned, even though he had no right to feel that way.

Phil got pictures of Clint with different women and he accused Clint of cheating.

He never cheated on Phil but the older man refused to listen and ended what they had the last 18 years.

"I want to leave med bay," Clint said absentminded.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Clint," the director watched him thoughtfully.

"Please."

"I see what I can do," he got up and left.

:::::::::::::::::::

Two more days and he was out of the shrink's clutches and his first destination was Phil's room.

Clint's presence alone set off the heart monitor Phil was attached to and a nurse threw him out of the room.

Phil said nothing, he just glared at him with sleepy eyes but the hate within was unmistakable and Clint felt one more layer of his heart crack.

Steve forced him to move in with them and he got his own room in Stark Tower.

"Phil's daughter is living with us until her dad is fit enough to leave medical," Tony informed him and it felt like the other man had thrusted a knife deep into his heart, "Her name is Catrina."

"I met her once," Clint nodded curtly.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed the moment she saw him.

"I live here, Cat," he said nonchalantly.

She had made it clear that he wasn't her daddy anymore. That he was nothing to her anymore.

"I want to move out," she seethed.

"Why do you Coulson's hate Clint so much?" Tony asked frustrated.

Phil was polite around Clint but his tone of voice was freezing whenever he addressed the archer and they never spoke more than necessary.

"'cause he's an asshole."

"Watch your language," Clint said automatically while he hid the pain away.

"That will be fun" Tony rubbed his forehead, "Stay out of your way then," he said and left.

He was too tired to deal with them.

"Don't worry I'll stay away from you as best I can." Clint turned around and strolled back to his room.

He sat down on his bed, eyeing the bottle of antidepressants he got that morning, with the strict instruction to take them.

After a long moment he opened the bottle and swallowed one of the pills.

He wished Natasha was with him but she was on a mission somewhere on the other side of the world.

Clint took deep breaths.

He saw the look in the eyes of his victims. The shock, the betrayal mixed with the knowledge that their end had come, because the marksman never missed.

"I hurt them," he drew up his knees and put his arms around them "I killed them. Carol had kids... Anders had kids... I made them semi-orphans," he talked to the dead people only he could see ,"There is nothing I can do to make it right. There is nothing I can do to fix my own family. I'm useless. A mindless killer. A hired gun without convictions," his hands shook. They did that often since he regained his own self after Loki lost control over him.

"I'm sorry," he told them, his ghosts, "I'm sorry,"

::::::::::::::

"Tony I want to see daddy, come on," she needed an adult to enter HQ and medical and Tony promised to accompany her.

It hurt, and he was sure she did it on purpose.

Normally Phil was dad and daddy was reserved for Clint "I can accompany you" he offered, hiding the hope from his voice.

"I want him to get better," she glared at him, "and not dead"

That stung badly and he wasn't sure how much longer he could do this. His lover forced him to divorce, his baby girl hated his guts and S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't trust him.

Hell, he didn't trust himself.

He raised his hands in defense, "Was just an offer," returned his attention back to his tea, without caffeine.

The shrink proscribed coffee, tea, alcohol, cola and energy drinks...

The list was endless and Clint hated it, he wanted to ignore most of them but that wouldn't help at all.

It would make his misery even more hellish.

Damn he was tired but he couldn't sleep, "I'm heading for the range." He put his cup away and fled the apartment.

The archer fired arrow after arrow but his agitation just grew with each fired arrow.

His hands shook so badly that, at the time he decided to stop, he couldn't aim at all.

"Time for a run," he put his bow away and collected his arrows before he left the building and began to run.

He ran and ran and ran.

Clint didn't know how long or far.

He just ran until his lungs burned and his legs gave out from the lack of oxygen.

There was a small park near his location and he forced himself to make the short way over to the park and find the next unoccupied bench.

His clothes were soaked in sweat and clung uncomfortably to his overheated skin.

His throat burned like fire but nothing compared to the pain in his chest, like he swallowed a handful of glass.

Clint tried to breath and needed a long time to regulate his breathing and heartbeat.

For one soothing moment the thought of dying crossed his mind but it wasn't like him to give up.

No matter how shitty his life was.

He closed his eyes for a moment and forced the bile back down.

"Do you need help?" an old woman observed him.

"No thank you," he gave her his best smile. "I just misjudged my performance."

"Are you sure?" she held his gaze.

Clint was sure she knew he was lying to her, "Yes, thank you again." He ordered his body to move and god it hurt, "Time for me to go home," he waved her goodbye.

The archer needed hours to reach Stark Tower, because he was too proud to take a cab.

"Where have you been?" Steve eyed him. "You look terrible."

"Went for a run. How is Phil?" he asked Tony.

"Better, his doc says he has to stay three more weeks before they even consider to let him go," he explained.

"I'm glad," he took a bottle of water out of the fridge. "Good night guys."

::::::::::::::::::

"Clint," it was Bruce's voice.

Clint hid his meds before he opened the door, "Yes?"

"JARVIS, informed us about your lack of sleep and I'm here to offer my help."

Barton chuckled, "I think I'm not the only one with lack of sleep, Dr.," it was the truth.

"No, but I think you sleep even less."

"Don't worry." Clint soothed, "I get enough sleep."

"Are you sure?" Bruce wasn't convinced, the archer looked tired.

"I'm sure. I never needed much sleep," he smiled, taking some of Bruce's worry away.

"Okay," the broad doctor played with his glasses, "but if you need us..."

"I know, I know," Clint interrupted cheerfully. "I will come to you."

"Good night."

"Good night Bruce," he closed the door, leaning against it for a few minutes.

Congratulating himself for such a good act.

He hated to sleep but it was time for his sleeping pills, his shrink said he should take one every evening but that was something Clint avoided.

What if a mission came up? Or they got attacked during the night?

Clint stared at his ceiling, waiting for sleep to come after him.

:::::::::::::::::::

"I made pancakes." Catrina smiled broadly.

Clint felt his heart constrict and hid his face behind his tea cup.

"Thank you," Steve gave her a gentle smile and Tony ruffled her hair.

She loved the Avengers except for Clint but that was alright her dad would take her home soon and then she could choose with whom she wanted to meet.

Captain America was the first on her list.

"Why do you drink tea?" Tony grimaced. "You hate it as much as I do."

"I don't hate tea," he didn't but he wasn't a fan either.

"You're a coffee guy just like I am." Tony wiggled a finger.

"True but I enjoy a good cup of tea once in a while," that wasn't a lie.

"Freak." Tony huffed and thanked Catrina for the pancakes she put on his plate.

Everyone got two pancakes but she didn't cook for Clint, "I must have miscalculated the ingredients," she canted.

"I'm not hungry," he wasn't, her hate was enough to make his stomach churn.

"Sorry," she shrugged, that's for making dad sad.

"Don't be," he did his best to act normal.

"We have a meeting today," Steve changed the topic. "We have to leave you for a while."

"Okay," Cat nodded. "I'm old enough."

"I know," Steve smiled.

::::::::::::::

She used the chance to snoop around a bit.

She wanted to know how her ex-father lived.

At first she wanted to know nothing about his new life but after two weeks she felt like she wanted to know at least a little about him.

So Cat sneaked into the empty room, she was surprised how empty it looked.

There were a few pictures on the desk and dresser.

All of them showed her older dad and her, there wasn't a single picture with all three of them or Clint in it.

His wedding band lay on the nightstand next to a book she remembered to be Phil's.

He'd looked around for it until he gave up and bought a new one.

"Thief," she hissed before she opened the nightstand to reveal a few orange bottles.

Aspirin and pills like that, she thought and closed the drawer.

There was nothing interesting in the room at all and nothing worth knowing.

She missed him, though.

He used to sing to her when she couldn't sleep.

He read to her, making funny noises to give each character its own soul.

He used to make her dad happy.

Phil wasn't happy anymore, he was in a good mood around her but there was something missing.

She could see it in his eyes and that made her so angry.

His daddy jeopardized everything for some fun.

He destroyed their family and that was unforgivable.

She left angrier than she was before.

::::::::::::::::::::

"Barton, I want to talk with you," Nick ordered.

"Yes, sir," he waited for his friends to leave. "I'm fine, don't send me back."

"Do I have a reason to?" Nick eyed his friend and didn't like what he saw.

"Give me some time to sort it out." Clint used his normal tone of voice, he knew Nick would send him back to medical the moment he showed his weakness.

"He calls out for you," Fury leaned against his desk.

"Who?" the answer was obvious.

Nick raised a brow, giving him a look that stated don't-play-games.

"It's meaningless," Clint shrugged.

"Is it?"

"I almost caused his death by showing up in his room, I don't think calling out my name is worth something," he deadpanned.

"I'm worried," Fury crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"You don't need to."

"I do," that was the problem. "He misses you."

"Time for him to move on," Barton stated so nonchalantly that Nick's expression slipped for a short moment.

"Clint?"

"We don't have a future, sir," Barton stated matter of factly. "I lost my husband and my child. Forever."

"You can fix it, I can help if you want me to..."

"Don't," Clint interrupted. "It's over, we're divorced, my daughter chose her side and it's time to leave the past behind."

"Okay." Fury took a deep breath, "I want you to meet with your shrink before you leave HQ."

"Yes, sir," Clint nodded and left, to seek out his shrink.

"Are you coming?" Steve and the others waited in front of the elevator.

"No," he straightened his back. "I have to supervise a new team for a few hours."

"That sucks." Tony knew how much Clint hated to do things like that.

"Yeah but with some luck I'm out of here by noon," he smiled frustrated.

"See you then," Steve squeezed his shoulder, "be careful."

"Always," he grinned.

::::::::::::::::::::

"Hawkeye take him out," Cap ordered but the shot never came. "HAWKEYE."

Clint jerked at the loud voice and tried to focus, forcing his hands to remain still, "Got him." He let his arrow fly and hit dead center.

"What was that?" Cap hissed through the mic.

"I couldn't aim correctly, had to find a better spot," that was a lie, but thankfully Cap was naive enough to believe him.

Barton was so busy to get a grip on himself, that he didn't notice the doombot behind him.

A noise startled him and he rolled to the side. He got punched into his side but thanks to his reflexes it was just his side and not his spine.

Barton rolled around, got to his knees and fired an explosive arrow.

He was too close not to get caught in the explosion and the little shockwave knocked him on his ass.

"Are you alright?" Tony hovered over him.

"I'm fine," he got up, his ribs weren't broken just bruised he noticed. "Let's give them hell."

"That's my boy," he heard the amusement in Tony's tinny voice.

::::::::::::::::::

"Damn." Tony slumped onto his couch, putting his feet on the table. "I hate the bots."

"So bad?" Cat looked up from her book.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Steve? How's your jaw?"

"Fine." Steve gave Tony a soda, "Will be gone by tomorrow."

"So fast?" her dad told her a lot about the Captain but she thought he was exaggerating.

"Yes." Cap smiled at her, "How was your day."

"Boring," she missed her dad so much, one more week, she thought.

"Poor kitty," Tony purred.

She gave him a glare, that was what her daddy called her sometimes when he wanted to tease her, "Where is Barton?"

"He went to his room." Steve frowned at the look in her eyes.

"A bot bruised his ribs, he was lucky that thing almost crushed his spine," Tony explained.

She paled visibly.

"Tony," Steve warned, "don't scare her."

"Sorry Cat." Tony didn't consider her age, "He's fine."

She huffed, hiding that she cared, "Doesn't matter, he could have died for all I care."

Clint couldn't suppress the little pitiful noise he made as he heard his baby girl say it,"Clint?" Steve got up. Catrina's eyes widened, daddy! Don't give me that look...

"Sit down," he forced a smile on his face, "just moved the wrong way. That hurts like a bitch." He cursed, feeling the crack in his heart deepen.

"Duck faster next time," she snapped, thank god you're alive.

"That's what you're telling your daddy, too?" he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

"That's different, it wasn't his fault. It was yours!" She got up and walked out of the room, it was hard to be around her father and be angry at him when he gave her his that-hurt-young-lady look, the last time you looked at me like that I yelled that you're not my real father, I miss you so much.

"Damn she hates you, man," Tony grimaced in sympathy.

"Can't blame her," he sat down on the second couch.

They watched a comedy movie for a while until Tony wanted to see the new action movie he missed to watch at the cinema.

After half an hour Clint bid his goodbye and rushed into his room.

The movie triggered flashbacks and he knew he would lose it in front of his friends if he didn't get out of there.

He felt Loki's staff against his chest, the cold, the icy grip on his heart.

He saw two of his co-workers fall, after he shot them.

Nick, he shot at him too.

His second best friend.

Natasha, he almost killed her, too. At least he tried to.

Clint thanked god or whoever that she was the best and able to kick his ass with ease.

She wasn't angry at him but she vanished shortly after Loki returned to Asgard.

He knew she never forgave him for cheating on Phil.

She chose Phil's side, too. Just like his little girl.

Only Nick remained by his side, but just because Nick felt like he knew the truth when he saw it.

It was nice to know that the older man believed in him.

Clint pressed the heel of his palms into his eyes and a agonizing scream escaped his lips. Luckily the room was sound proof.

Clint's cell phone flashed as a message arrived and Clint could see the bridge of the Helicarrier explode. People flying around like ragdolls.

Unconscious, dying, badly hurt, burned... dead.

It was him.

He took the shot and did that to them.

Clint got up like a flash and ran into the bathroom. Barely reaching the toilet in time.

He retched until his throat burned and his stomach cramped.

After his stomach relaxed a little and the nausea faded he leaned his back against the bathtub, closing his eyes.

Clint fell asleep on the cold tile floor.

::::::::::::::::::::

"Daddyyyy." Catrina flung herself at her father, "I missed you."

Phil frowned a little at her choice of endearment, he wasn't her daddy. He was her dad since the day she began to trust them enough to talk.

"How are you sweetheart?" he kissed the top of her head, wincing slightly as his movement pulled on his wound.

"Great," she beamed, "we're together again," she took his hand.

Phil looked up at his friends. "Thank you for taking care of her," the Agent smiled.

"It's the least we could do." Steve smiled back.

Phil's eyes fell on Clint who stood in the corner of the room. Arms crossed in front of his chest and gaze to the ground, trying desperately to make himself invisible.

"Agent Barton, nice you could make it." Phil had hoped Clint would visit him once in a while or spy on him through the vent but he stayed away after the nurse asked him to leave.

It never stopped his ex-lover before.

"Sir," he nodded curtly.

"Can we go home now?" Cat tucked on her father's hand.

"No, Cat. We have to live with Tony for a while," he explained, "just until I'm better."

It was cute to watch the stoic agent interact with his daughter.

"I don't want him around," she whined.

"Me neither but we have to." Phil caressed her cheek, "just for a while."

Clint felt his tremor return and the nausea hit him like a sledgehammer.

He slipped out of the room as silently as he could and headed for the next bathroom.

"Where is he?" Bruce interrupted their discussion about their Barton-phobia, like Tony called it.

"He will come back," Phil's agent poker face returned.

He felt sick at the thought that he was the cause that Clint fled the room.

He still loved the archer, with all his heart but he couldn't forgive him and Cat couldn't either.

But that might be his fault and it tore on Phil's heart to know that he took more than their relationship away from the archer, he took his daughter, too.

Phil had clouded her mind with all his cursing and nagging, laying the blame on Clint.

Not giving her the choice to continue loving her daddy.

"It's nice to have you back, sir." Steve sighed, he missed the man.

"I'm glad to live, too, Captain," he took his bag and left medical with his friends in tow.

::::::::::::::::::

Living with Coulson and Barton was not funny at all.

They were walking on eggshells around each other and avoided to interact as much as possible.

Clint left them alone for the sake of his family.

He didn't attend movie nights, excursions and dinner.

It was lonely but his daughter deserved to have fun.

Especially Phil deserved his fun after his brush with death.

It was hard to look at Phil and not see the video recording of his 'death', the pain his guilt caused was overwhelming.

"Barton." Phil knocked.

"Yes, sir," he replied, not moving from his spot on the bed.

"Your presence is required," he heard his ex-lover leave and got up.

Checking himself in the mirror before he left his room.

"What can I do for you, sir." Clint stood in front of Phil, back straight, eyes front.

He ignored his friends, who looked at him with confusion in their eyes.

"Fury informed me that he has a new mission for us and we have to make a plan," Phil stated, "and in addition to that I heard you're not at your best at the moment. Ignoring orders, letting down comrades, turning your back on them. Is that correct Agent?"

"That's not what we..." Phil interrupted Steve with a motion of his hand, his gaze still fixed on Clint.

The archer kept his voice strong "Yes, sir. That's correct."

"Clint?!" Steve's eyes widened.

"I will correct my mistakes and accept any kind of punishment you see fit, sir." Phil was surprised by Clint's behavior. He never acted like that not even after their divorce.

What happened? What changed? "Good, it will appear on your record"

"Yes, sir." Clint took the last empty chair and sat down next to Bruce.

He felt safe next to the kind Dr., he didn't trust Hulk much but therefore he trusted Bruce the more.

They spent the whole evening together until Phil decided to end their meeting.

"Barton, wait," he said and waited for the Avengers to leave.

"Yes, sir." Clint avoided his gaze.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, sir," he lied with ease.

"I don't believe you, agent." Phil crossed his arms in front of his chest, to stop himself from reaching out.

"That's nothing new, sir," Clint stated, cold without a hint of emotion, even though the pain was almost unbearable.

"I trust you to get the job done, agent. Am I wrong to put my trust in you during a job, too?"

It felt like a punch to the gut "No, sir. I get the job done."

"Good," he hated the expression on Clint's face.

Resigned and unsure. He knew everything about Clint.

Every tone of voice, every gesture, every look, and the man in front of him was not his Barton.

He wasn't the man he used to love.

He didn't know the man in front of him at all.

"What happened, Clint?" the question was honest and took the archer by surprise.

"I'm sure you read the reports, sir," Clint gritted out.

"I did. But I'm missing something here," he spread his arms to emphasize his words.

"When did she start to hate me that much," the question left Phil speechless.

The older Agent stared at his ex-husband and realized that his eyes glittered wetly and his voice carried a sadness he never heard before.

"She doesn't hate you," Phil said, he believed that she still loved him.

"She wants me dead, don't tell me she loves me." Clint swallowed hard and turned around, "Good night, sir."

"Clint," he heard himself call, not knowing why but it felt right.

But Barton didn't stop or turned around.

Phil gathered his papers together and headed for his room, he needed to talk with their daughter, urgently.

::::::::::::::::

Phil watched Barton during their missions and he wasn't happy with his performance at all.

Oh he was as good as always but his lack of attention and communication was dangerous for them all and today was especially bad.

"Are you high?" Steve grabbed Clint's collar and slammed him into the wall of their living room, "High on drugs during a mission? Hmm?"

Barton wasn't able to shoot his bow, his hands shook badly, his eyes were slow and unresponsive. "What did you take? Is that why you became unreliable?" Cap continued his lecture, "You could have gotten us killed"

Clint didn't response, his whole body shook by now, his hands clenched and unclenched

"Step away from him," Phil ordered, it hurt to see his ex that way.

"What's with him?" Cat entered the room, looking for the cause of the ruckus.

"I think you should go." Tony tried to shove her out of the room.

"No," she said vehement. "I'm not going," her gaze returned to her fathers, she was worried.

"What did you take?" Cap shook him, Clint's head connected with the wall behind him each time.

"Let go," Phil grabbed Steve's wrist and squeezed hard, "Let him go, Captain," but it was too late.

Clint started to hyperventilate and shoved Steve as hard as he could and knocked Cap down with one smooth motion.

Rushing to the sink, in the kitchen connected to the living room, to puke his guts out, afterwards.

He rinsed his mouth and wiped the water away with one shaky motion.

Clint paced a little up and down the room.

"Clint," Coulson approached him slowly."It's just me," he held up his hands.

Clint felt how the energy left his body and he leaned against the next wall, sliding down until he sat on the ground.

"It isn't drug induced," Tony frowned, he didn't know of drugs with an effect like that.

"Hush." Phil cupped Clint's cheeks gently in his hands, "Hush, calm down."

The agent was unusual gentle and intimate while he dealt with their drugged comrade and Steve's frown deepened and so did Bruce's worry.

Catrina was too stunned to do or say anything. She couldn't understand what happened to her daddy until a thought crossed her mind, "There are orange bottles in his dresser."

Tony gave Clint a hard glare before he rushed out of the room to retrieve the bottles.

"Let me go," Clint's eyes followed something, only he could see.

"No," he rocked back and forth. "No, leave me be. Why can't you leave me already. I told you I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he whispered again and again.

"It's okay." Phil felt like crying, "Everything will be fine."

Clint bit down on the inside of his lip and cheek to stop himself from crying out, he bit so hard that blood mixed with his spit gushed slowly out of his mouth from various incisions.

He coughed as blood dripped down his throat and a little more blood found its way down his chin.

"Stop that!" Phil panicked a little, trying his best to keep calm."Relax your jaw, come on you can do it. Stop," his hands ghosted over Clint's pale skin.

Trying desperately to offer some comfort and after an endless moment Clint's jaw relaxed under his hands.

"Daddy," Cat cried as her mind registered what was happening.

Her daddy sat on the ground, his eyes were glassy while he shivered; his own blood dripping from his mouth.

That was not alright, nothing he ever did was worth such pain. "Daddy," she flung herself at him, "Daddy," she rocked slightly back and forth. "Don't be sad, daddy. We are here." Mirroring all the words and gestures Clint used to make her feel better, after nightmares, bad days or to sooth the pain away after a scent or voice triggered long forgotten memories concerning her mother.

He was always there for her, 11 long years he did everything for her, and it was time to return the favor.

Phil couldn't suppress the tears and let them go. "It will be alright," he took Clint and Cat into his arms.

Steve and the others were speechless. They couldn't believe the girl cried over her daddy, not Phil but Clint.

The man she hated so much.

"Lexapro, sleeping pills and painkiller." Tony strolled back into the room, giving Cap a questioning look as he saw Cat and the blood.

"Later," Steve said a little shaky. "What is Lexapro?"

"Antidepressant," they heard Phil say. "Have you taken them at all?" he pulled away a little to look Clint in the eye.

"Make me sick," he whispered, it hurt to speak.

Phil kissed Clint's forehead. "It's okay," he pressed Clint's head against his chest. It felt good to have him close but the conditions were all wrong.

"Nick."

"What is with Nick?" Phil asked. "Do you want me to call him?" he felt Clint nod against his chest.

It didn't take long for Nick to show up.

"Hell kid, I warned you," he pushed Phil and his daughter out of the way. "Come on, what happened to, Phil has to move on, huh? He can't do that when you pull a stunt like that, can he?"

Clint snorted.

Phil's eyes went wide.

"Back to medical with you."

"Not too long," Clint looked up at the older man.

"I'm not letting you out of medical this time. You have to stay until the bitter end," he pulled Clint up. "Spit it out or you'll choke on it, I will not write extra reports because you decided to choke on your own blood," after a moment he dragged him out of the apartment and up to the roof where a jet was waiting for them, including his shrink.

:::::::::::::::::::::::

They sat around the kitchen table.

The orange bottles placed in the middle of the table.

"Depression," Tony said to no one in particular.

"What caused them?" Steve mused.

"You." Nick pointed at Phil, "partly," he came back to talk to them after he made sure Clint was in good hands.

It was time to fix the mess.

"What happened Phil?" Nick shook his head. "You were happy. 18 years and a child, Phil. What is the cause to throw all that away."

"He cheated on me," he stated. He could hear his friends gasp.

Nick huffed, "Absolutely not."

"I have pictures," Phil justified his decision.

"What pictures," Nick dared.

"In bed with a blond. And he had a redhead too, a brunette, another blond, and god knows how many else."

Fury's eyes widened for a moment and he grabbed his pad, "These?"

Phil clenched his jaw ,"Yes," he gritted out.

"Mission S-456-798. Classified. Security level 9. These pictures are fake. We staged the pictures to lure out a hit-man. We sent Barton out to meet the target and hire him. He was too careful to leave traces so we faked a blackmail case. Clint got these little pictures together with an order to pay a lot of money. And our target took the bait and got caught. Around two years ago, I think." Nick explained.

"Oh god," Phil paled. "He didn't say anything."

"Level 9, you're 8," Nick stated matter of factly.

"Where is he?" Catrina asked, her eyes were red and puffy.

"Classified."

"What?" Phil looked shocked.

"How can that be classified?" Steve frowned.

He was confused by the whole matter.

"I'm not letting one of you near him until he regained at least a bit of his sanity."

"Can you tell me about his symptoms? Make me understand what happened here, Nick, please?" Phil asked as a friend not as an Agent.

"Mostly self inflicted sleep deprivation, depression, PTSD, I can't even remember all the things his doc said. He developed depression after your divorce, Loki's games caused PTSD in addition to his depression. It seemed the meds didn't help enough, so he avoided to sleep to escape the nightmares but his sleep deprivation caused hallucinations.

He's seeing things for a while now.

And it becomes more difficult for him to keep his hands from shaking.

You know,... he spent a week in medical after Loki was gone. Strapped to a bed, high on antidepressants. The day he visited you, was the day he talked the doctor into releasing him, I don't know how he did that, his doc almost killed me when I suggested to release him.

You crushed his heart even more by sending him away."

"It's not a reason to go insane." Cat pouted, it wasn't their fault was it?

"He lost everything. His husband. His daughter. His life. He killed allies and friends. He helped Loki and helped getting Phil 'killed'. He was so damaged that he couldn't even keep his friends safe anymore. He lied to us, he lied to himself and now he reached a point where he can't even save himself. How would you feel without your fathers, without friends, without a future? Haunted by flashbacks and the ghosts of your past..." Nick added to his speech.

"I want to see my daddy," she played with her hands.

"You have to wait, he's very far away right now..." Nick's pager went off.

"How long?" Phil yelled after him but didn't get an answer.

::::::::::::::::::

"I can't believe you're married," Tony shook his head. "How could you do that, kid?"

"I was angry," she said quietly.

"Have you any idea how he must have felt? We thought you hated him. What do you think he felt?"

"Tony let it be," Steve interfered. "She's a child."

"But not small enough not to know what she was doing." Tony glared at her, observing every move she made, "Clint is a good guy. He doesn't deserve it."

"I'm sorry," she lowered her gaze, thinking of all those time she made her daddy sad.

"18 years is a long time," Bruce cleaned his glasses.

"We met shortly after he was recruited and we married one year after," Phil remembered their little wedding. The happiness on Clint's face when Phil said his yes.

"How did you get her?" Tony tilted his head in Cat's direction.

"At Clint's old orphanage," Phil said.

"Daddy was an orphan?" that was knew.

"He lived in the same orphanage when he was a child so we decided to look there first, and there you were. Alone, crying. Clint picked you up because he can't stand to be around sad children and you stopped crying. You looked at him and a huge smile appeared on your tiny face. He gave me his can-I-? look, and how could I deny him to keep you? You looked so perfect in his arms," regret was written all over the agent's face.

"I didn't mean what I said," she sobbed, leaning against her father. "He wasn't meant to hear what I said. I never meant it when I said I wished he died... I didn't mean it."

Phil couldn't deny that she fucked up but he was not a whit better, "The last time I was so scared was when he got shot," the older man palmed his face.

"He got shot?" they tried to keep everything away from her.

"Five years ago," Phil didn't look at her. He couldn't bear to see the look in her eyes that surely mirrored his own, "A arms dealer shot him in the head."

"Oh god." Steve almost crushed his mug in his hands.

"He made it. I have no idea how the hell he made it but he did. Without lasting effects.

The bullet missed everything." Phil swallowed hard, ignoring Tony's shocked gasp.

"Is that why he missed my birthday?" she remembered how angry she was that her daddy missed her birthday, while her dad came for her and stayed for the day until he had to leave again.

"He was in a coma. He couldn't come, or call. It was so hard to leave his side that day," the memory was anchored deep down in his brain. He still could see him when he closed his eyes, he remembered every tube, every scar, every sound the machines made.

He was so stupid to let the man go so easily.

He promised him to stay, no matter what.

Paralyzed, brain damaged, crippled, broken...

He'd promised him for better or worse.

Till death do them part.

He broke every single promise he ever made.

"Oh," she chewed on her bottom lip.

"I think it's time for you to go to bed," Phil got up and shooed his daughter out of the room.

He was too proud to fall apart in front of his co-workers.

The sooner he tucked her in, the sooner he could hide in Clint's room for the night.

The Avengers remained in the kitchen for a very long time.

::::::::::::::::::

Seven month.

That was the timeframe they had to wait.

Natasha was nervous, she wasn't there when Clint needed her.

Would he blame her? Did he hate her?

"Clint," Steve said cheerful, it wasn't easy to sound this way.

"Steve," Clint nodded briefly. "Nat?"

"How could you..." she muttered before she pulled him into her arms. "Forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive," he rubbed her back. "We're okay."

She nodded against his neck, "I missed you."

"Missed you, too," he placed a kiss against the side of her head.

"Daddy?" they heard a shy voice call out, weak and insecure.

"Hey, kitty," he braced himself for the impact of her next words.

"I missed you," she cried silently.

He tilted his head a little in surprise. "Missed you, too," he opened his arms.

She ran into his open arms, clinging to him for dear life, "I'm sorry, daddy. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," he soothed, it wasn't her fault he screwed up.

"It's not," Phil finally found the courage to say something. "Nothing is okay, but we can make it alright."

"How?" Clint raised his brows waiting for an explanation.

"Come back home," Phil never felt that nervous before.

"I can't go home."

"Why?" Phil felt his heart stutter for a painful moment.

"I don't have a home I can return to," the archer said simply.

Phil clenched his jaw, it was the only thing preventing him from crying. "You have a home.

A nice one family house, big garden, white fences, husband and daughter."

"We aren't married," Clint denied.

"We are." Phil loved Nick for that, "Nick arranged that our divorce was never processed by lawyers and judges. That means we are still married and the divorce never happened."

Clint wasn't sure what to say. One part of him wanted to drag his lover to the next court to get divorced and the other part of him thanked Nick for interfering.

"Come home, please," she pressed her face closer into Clint's chest.

"Just for a while," he couldn't say yes, that would sound like a promise, like hope...

"Come." Phil held out his hand, waiting for Clint to take it.

Natasha and the others held their breaths for a moment.

Clint didn't take the hand into his own, he tucked on the sleeve of Phil's suit instead. "Come," he echoed silently.

Some of Phil's tension eased a little. "See you on Monday," he told Cap with a little smile before he left together with his family.

:::::::::::::::::::

"We made your favorite for dinner," Cat ushered Clint into the kitchen, "and I made the pudding you like."

"Thank you," it was nice to have his daughter around.

"Sit down," Phil ordered gently.

Clint knew that Nick told Phil about the mission and his time in the asylum.

Phil stood behind Clint for a moment and argued with himself before he put his arms around Clint and pulled him a little backwards, closer into his embrace.

It felt good to feel Clint against him, the warmth of his body, the scent of his hair. "I missed you," he whispered into the archer's ear.

"Missed you too," that was the truth. Life without Phil was hell.

"I'm sorry."

He got no reply.

"Daddy, here," she placed the plate in front of him.

"Thank you Cat," he smiled, without happiness.

Phil let go of his husband to give him enough space to eat.

The doctors had made it clear that he had to eat regularly, he had to sleep and he had to take his medication, and of course he had to visit his shrink.

"Do you want more?" her eyes gleamed with hope.

"No thank you," he had to crush her hope, he wasn't hungry, "but your pudding would be nice?"

"Sure," the light returned to her eyes as she jumped up from her chair to get his dessert.

"Can we talk tonight?" Phil whispered while Cat was busy.

Clint nodded.

:::::::::::::::

Phil settled down on the couch after they tucked Catrina in.

"Come here please, you're making me nervous," Phil asked, Clint was pacing.

The archer looked at him for a moment before he sat down on the other side of the couch.

The older agent wasn't sure if the timing was alright or totally out of place but he couldn't wait any longer.

Their fight stood between them like a double edged sword and that for over a year.

He couldn't take it anymore. "Why didn't you say anything?" he said finally. "You let me yell, and curse and hurt you without a word of protest."

"You didn't let me," Clint looked away.

"You could have tried, it's not like you to give up that easily. So tell me, please. Why?"

"You don't trust me, and what is a relationship worth without trust?" Clint stated simply, returning his gaze to Phil.

There was so much pain in the archer's eyes that Phil wanted to hit himself for causing it "What makes you think that?"

"You never asked for my side of the story, you never gave me a chance to defend myself. You just jumped to the conclusion that I cheated on you. He's a whore. He did it. Only option. Period"

A shiver ran down Phil's spine while he listened.

"I-... I felt hurt and betrayed. You have to confess that the pictures are good."

"The thought, that they could be fake never crossed your mind," Clint replied, it had hurt back then and it still does.

Phil frowned, there was nothing he could say to make it alright. Clint was right.

"I hoped you'd come around... but you didn't," the blond took a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry." Phil reached out to touch Clint's hand, he took it as a good sign that the younger man didn't pull away, "I'm sorry"

"I'm sorry, too. For anything but I can't undo them. I can't give Mrs. Anders her husband back. I can't give Carol's man his wife back. I can't give their children their family back. I can't undo all the deaths I caused. I can't take your scar away," he reached out to place a hand above Phil's heart. "I can't take away the pain I caused."

"We can rebuild what we had," Phil offered.

"And then?" Clint sounded thoughtful.

"Then we will be happy again," he hoped.

"I can't take away my sins and neither can you."

"Let me try," Phil was desperate. "I was ready to take you back without knowing the truth. That has to count."

"Pity," Clint remembered only bits and pieces about the evening.

"It wasn't pity," Phil almost yelled. "It was love."

Clint winced at the word, he wanted so much to believe him, "Funny way to show it."

"Please, try to understand my side, too. I was hurt, just looking at you tore my heart apart. The thought that you might have touched women, made me sick. I asked myself if I wasn't enough to make you happy. If I became unattractive over the years, or boring."

"You are many things Phil Coulson but never unattractive or boring." Clint loved the older man and would continue to love him even when he was old and pruney.

"You never told me so, there was a time you did, though. But one day you stopped."

"I thought you knew." Clint's fingers traced over the thin fabric of Phil's shirt. He could feel the scar underneath.

"No, not anymore and then these pictures came and..." he couldn't speak anymore.

It was too much to bear.

Clint watched his husband for a while and thought about their last few years together.

Phil had a point.

Clint took more solo missions, he was often away.

Not because he disliked being home but because he wanted to spare Phil these missions.

He took every dangerous mission that was originally meant for Phil but he stopped reminding Phil of how important he was.

Clint suspected that the real reason behind all his extra missions was one more secret Nick told Phil about.

"I'm sorry," he pulled the older man closer. "I'm sorry for making you feel like you aren't loved enough."

Phil chuckled sadly against Clint's chest, "I'm the one who hurt you, silly."

"I brought it upon myself."

"No," Phil said vehemently. "Don't you dare adding my insecurities to your list of failures. It was my fault. Like you said I believed them even though I should have known better. I should have known they were a lie. I know you inside out. I would have known if you had someone else beside me," he could kick himself for realizing it far too late.

A car passed their house and the headlights illuminated their almost dark living room, putting an end to their first step of rebuilding their lost relationship.

Clint winced violently and his hands shook, while his ghosts flashed in front of his eyes.

But this time it was alright because Phil was there with his arms around him, holding him close. "It will get better, believe me. S.H.I.E.L.D has the right methods to cure his Agents enough for field work," Phil soothed.

"I'm not going without you into the field ever again," the older man was surprised by Clint's statement.

"I'm not leaving again," he sighed against Phil's chest.

"I hope so." Phil readjusted on the sofa and forced Clint to lay down with his head in his lap.

"We should go to bed, sir," it wasn't good for his lover's health.

"Soon. You have to calm down first," Phil ordered, "besides I'm cleared for duty. I will not break because I sit on the couch for a while."

"Your back aches," the archer whispered.

"What?" he leaned forward to catch his lover's words.

"Your back aches," he repeated.

Phil had to smile, "A few more minutes, okay?" he felt Clint nod.

:::::::::::::::::::::

That night after their talk was the first night of many that their daughter slipped into their bed.

She hadn't done that since she was six.

"I had a nightmare," she stood in front of their bed with tears in her eyes.

Clint looked at her for a while.

Phil wasn't sure what his husband was thinking and it worried him greatly.

After a long moment the archer raised his blanket, giving her the signal that she was welcome.

She lay down in the middle of the bed between her daddies, clinging to her teddy.

Clint chewed on his lower lip, that broke the spell between them and she put her arms around his middle. "Don't do that," she couldn't bear to see him do that.

The blood on her daddy's lip was still fresh in her mind, even after months apart.

Clint hesitated for a moment but then he put one arm around his child's shoulder, rubbing soothing circles over her back.

Phil sighed in relieve before he put his arm around both his treasures, rubbing his thumb over his lover's upper arm.

::::::::::::::::

"Hawkeye," Phil ordered to get a report.

"Target not in sight," Clint replied.

"How are you," the older agent whispered, not wanting his neewbies to overhear him.

"It's okay."

Phil nodded to himself. "Radio silence," and the line went dead.

It wasn't the first mission since Clint was cleared for duty a month ago but Phil couldn't help it, it was his lover after all.

It was his job to worry.

"Contact in 30 seconds," Clint's voice interrupted his musing.

"Take them out," he confirmed.

"Copy that," Clint waited a few more seconds and took them out, deadly efficient.

"Good work," Phil felt relieved.

One more day without a breakdown.

He could only hope that his lover's mood was just as good as his work performance.

It wasn't always love, peace and harmony but they had a real chance to rebuild what they lost.

"I treat you to dinner," Phil said after they left the locker room.

"But Cat..."

"Nat takes care of her tonight," Phil smiled. "It's just you and me."

"Okay," Clint smiled briefly but it was one of the rare times that his smile reached his eyes.

"I reserved a table at your favorite Italian restaurant."

"Thank you," it was nice to know Phil did that for him.

"Come," the older Agent took Clint's hand, ignoring the stares of fellow Agents.

Clint was his and he wanted the world to know that.

Their dinner was relaxing and they spoke more than they did the last few months taken together.

It was great to feel loved. "I never stopped loving you," Clint said after a while.

They finished their food and enjoyed the wine.

"I know that," Phil bumped his leg against Clint's, "I learned my lesson well."

"Can I offer more pastries?" the waitress showed up again, her eyes glued to Clint.

"No thank you we just want to finish our wine." Phil smiled at her, combined with a glare.

"Okay, call if I can help you," she winked at Clint.

"I swear I didn't," the archer panicked as his mind caught up with her behavior during the evening.

"It's okay." Phil took his lover's hand and gave it a squeeze, "I know."

Clint nodded, not sure if he did something wrong or not.

"Look at me," Phil ordered. "You didn't flirt with her and if... doesn't matter it's our job to act. I'm not angry."

"Really?"

The question hurt. "Yes, really," he gulped the rest of his wine down and paid for the meal before they strolled out of the restaurant, hand in hand.

:::::::::::

The shrink prescribed new meds and Clint seemed alright at first but Phil new better.

His lover was constantly tired, his vision seemed affected and his stomach could barely hold any food down.

"I'm home." Phil switched on the table lamp in the living room, the light was gentle. "Hey," he greeted.

Clint lay on the couch, watching a movie. "How was your day?"

Phil loosened his tie. "Busy," something in his lover's voice was not right, "How was yours?"

"Boring."

The older Agent threw his jacket on a chair and walked around the couch to get a look at his lover.

His skin was clammy and his sweat soaked hair stuck to his head. "You're sick," Phil sat down in front of the couch and caressed Clint's warm face.

"I think I can't tolerate the meds. I tried. I thought it would get better."

"I give your shrink a call in the morning and we'll get you something else, okay?" Phil's hand remained on Clint's cheek.

"I don't feel so hot, sir."

Phil chuckled without any humor, "Your skin is hot as hell, agent."

"Didn't mean that," Clint frowned.

"I know," Phil smiled at him.

"Bugger."

"The one and only," Phil was worried about Clint's slow thinking.

Phil's finger traced down his lover's arm. "Where did you get these?" three unshapely lines on his arm caught Phil's attention.

"One of my own explosive arrowheads practically exploded in front of my face. I fell and grazed my skin."

"Grazed? That must have been one hell of an abrasion." Phil leaned forward to kiss each scar "It's not in your file," then he kissed each of Clint's wrist.

The marks of the cuffs were still visible and would probably never leave completely.

Nick showed security videos to him, Phil suspected it was Nick's kind of punishment for him. Clint spent a very long time strapped to a bed.

Screaming, crying, begging... until therapy released him from his ghosts and their stranglehold on his soul.

"Never reported it, I just did as if," Clint confessed, "Almost lost my life up there. Only the split of a second stood between me and a crushed backbone."

Phil's hand wandered to Clint's spine, tracing over every vertebra as he remembered that Cat said something about almost getting hurt badly, "You have to stop that."

"Don't like medical," Clint reached out to rest his palm against Phil's cheek.

"You have to stop getting hurt," Clint could see the desperation in Phil's eyes.

"I was... I wasn't focused. Didn't see him coming."

"It's not your fault. You weren't ready to go back into the field," Nick still felt guilty for not acting sooner.

"I couldn't stop. I had to go back."

"Making amends and getting yourself killed?" Phil lowered his gaze for a moment.

"I don't want to die," Clint shook his head, his thumb caressed Phil's cheekbone.

Coulson let out the breath he didn't know he was holding, "I'm glad to hear that."

"I made a promise a long time ago."

Phil remembered that Clint vowed to never get himself deliberately killed, no matter how shitty his life got.

Phil insisted that Clint had to keep his promise, even in case Phil was robbed of his life.

"I'm so damn proud of you, Clint," taking one of Clint's hands into his own. "I'm proud."

Clint squeezed his eyes shut and clung to his lover's hand.

:::::::::::::::

"Daddy?" Catrina still felt uncomfortable around her father.

Guilt was a nasty companion.

"Yes, Sweety?" he dried the dishes.

"I'd like to go to the amusement park. Just you and me and dad," she wanted her old life back.

"How does Saturday sound?" Clint replied.

"What's on Saturday?" Phil came into the kitchen, he was tired and his neck hurt.

"We go to the amusement park," she cheered.

"Great, two kids I have to take care of," he huffed and tilted his head back.

He sat straight as he realized how his words sounded, "I didn't." Phil looked at Clint with wide eyes.

The archer grinned. "I remember that you use to say it every time we visit a fun place," he approached his husband and put his hands on Phil's shoulder to give him a massage.

"Damn you're good," the older agent sighed deeply and began to relax.

"I had 18 years to learn how to do it right," it wasn't meant to hurt but Phil tensed under his hands.

They lost one year because of Phil's stupidity. "We lost a year," he mumbled.

"Don't think about it." Clint continued to massage his lover's sore muscles.

Phil remained silent but the knowledge hurt nonetheless.

::::::::::::::

"Hey Clint," Bruce was happy to see his friend.

"Hey big guy," Clint smiled.

"How are you?"

"Better," it wasn't possible to lie to Bruce without one hell of remorse.

"I'm relieved to hear that," he took off his glasses.

"How are you?"

"I'm good, I'm dating Natasha," he confessed, his ears turned red.

"Good to hear, man. She has a crush on you since you joined the team." Clint was happy for her, but sadly their friendship wasn't back to normal.

But they were on their best way.

"How is your relationship developing?" Natasha forced him to ask but he would have done that anyway.

"It's nice to be home. It's difficult at times but we are fine. I love him, he loves me, my daughter doesn't hate me after all. She was just angry at me and felt like she had to hate me for leaving. I'm ... I think I'm happy," he lowered his gaze for a moment.

"Does he know that, too?" Coulson needed to know that.

"I don't know," maybe it was time for a second talk. "Thank you big guy."

"Do you want to help me with my new project?"

"I'd love to," Clint beamed with joy.

:::::::::::::

"Dad, daddy, I want to ride the rollercoaster," she let go of Clint's hand and jumped up and down in front of him, like a kid high from sugar.

She was too happy to have her two fathers back to give a damn about her age.

Fun was fun, no matter how old you were.

Clint eyed the rollercoaster before his gaze wandered to Phil. "Okay," he forced a smile on his face.

Phil hated roller coasters. "You don't have to," Phil whispered in his ear

"I do," he gave Phil a gentle smile. "Come on kitty cat," she ran after him with a huge smile on her face.

Phil observed the switchback and hoped that Clint was okay.

He loved these things but with his meds and after all that happened...

"I hope he's fine," Phil mumbled to himself.

Everything could trigger flashbacks.

Phil had seen Clint flinch two times already but the archer did his best to cope and that made Phil even more proud.

His husband was strong and would never give in, especially not where his mind was concerned.

After a long time his two most important persons came back to him, in one piece and without a break down, "How was it?"

"Great," she took Phil's hand again, holding both her parents hands.

"How are you?" Phil mouthed.

"Felt better," Clint confessed, he felt a little nauseous and nervous but it was okay.

"Let me take one for the team next time okay?" Phil whispered close to his lover's ear.

"Dad you're crushing me," she nagged.

"Sorry, sweety," he backed down again.

Clint chuckled at his daughter's attitude and Phil's reaction.

His embarrassment colored his cheek slightly pink and his ears beet red.

"What's so funny Agent." Phil used his Agent voice.

"You, sir," the archer replied amused.

"Why is that?"

"You're blushing like a virgin, sir." Clint pressed his lips together, doing his best not to laugh out loud.

Their daughter groaned. "I'm going in there, alone," she pointed at the swing-boat and both men were thankful for that.

"Not taking one for the team, sir?" Clint smirked.

"She said, she wants to go alone," Phil said smug, his skin was a little more flushed from the virgin comment.

"Uh-hu," he raised a brow and Phil had to laugh at that.

"Okayyy, I can't stand the swing-boat. I have to puke afterwards. Happy?"

"Actually, yeah. I feel the same way," he shuddered at the thought of being trapped in that infernal machine.

"Good to know I'm not alone." Phil took his husband's hand while they watched their daughter in line.

"I talked with Bruce yesterday and he made me aware of the fact that I should tell you more often how I feel," the alarm bells inside Phil's mind rang, uncontrollably.

Did he feel trapped? Forced into a relationship he no longer desired? Did he stay for Catrina's sake?

"Stop that," he heard Clint order. "I can hear you think and I don't like the path your mind is going."

Phil's only answer was to tighten his grip around Clint's hand.

He clung to the archer's hand as if it was his lifeline.

Maybe it was.

Clint pulled the older man closer. "I just want you to know that I'm happy," he whispered.

Phil tensed for a moment before he relaxed in Clint's arms, letting go of his worries and fears. "It means a lot to me," he whispered back. "It means everything to me," he clarified before he kissed Clint with passion and love.

They heard their girl whoop from afar, telling the surprised people around her, "My daddies are back together!"

That was the moment Phil had waited for.

They were a family again.

Clint was happy to share his life with Phil again.

Catrina learned to let go of her negative feelings.

It was almost how it used to be.

And Phil knew not so far in the future, his family would be stronger than before.

Nothing could tear them apart ever again.

They learned their lesson and they passed the test life threw at them.

Phil remembered a quote his mother taught him after his father died and had to smile lovingly at the happiness in his lover's eyes.

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.
by Ernest Hemingway

The End