Title: Empty

Summary: Antonio writes a letter to his vacant lover

Pairing: Spamano

Rating: T for mental illness and implied yaoi.

The idea hit me when I was watching a medical drama. I decided it would be interesting to Antonio from a different angle to his normal cheery self. Lovino is vacant due to reasons I'll let you decide.

Please enjoy

Tora xxx

Dear Lovino,

You won't be able to read this. You're not even here anymore.

You've been gone for so long now. Every waking moment I spend with you, I am spending with the shell that used to contain the man I loved. You are my first thought when I wake, last thought before I sleep and you are constantly on my mind.

You probably have no idea what I do every day, you're too far away to see. So I'll tell you.

In the morning I wake you up and get you out of bed. I undress you and shower you, cleaning you fully from you teeth to your toes. I dress you and sit you at the dining table to feed you your breakfast, though you rarely manage to eat much. I set you up in front of the television that you never watch while I attempt some work on my computer. Sometimes you will get up to move, to use the toilet usually, and I find myself jumping up to steady you as you stumble to the bathroom, leading you back to the sofa when you're finished so you can sit and not watch the moving pictures on the screen.

In the evening, when I have cooked dinner we sit at the table again. I attempt to feed you yet I know my attempts are futile. All the while I eat my meal and talk to you about my work, my day, my friends. Just like before it happened.

Before we go to bed I kiss you goodnight, and tell you I love you. I say a prayer that one day, you will get better, and I cry. Every night I cry, grieving the loss of you.

Because even though you're here, you're not.

I am not once acknowledged by you, your gaze remaining forward and blank, limbs and whole body limp, not a word leaving your lips.

It's as if I'm there, but I'm not.

Just like you.

Please review, I'd love to know what you thought. Also, I'm sorry for anyone who is annoyed by the fact I didn't have it signed by Antonio, I just thought it would have a more effective ending the way it is.

Tora xxx