Sup' guys, hope you're doing well. Prepare yourself for a lemony ride! (And if you don't want to, please have the decency not to report. I have lost work before, and it really tears me up) I do not own any rights to Bleach, and I have nothing but respect for Tite Kubo and his team. This is a story produced merely for the enjoyment of others. Enjoy!

Rangiku lay on the strawberry shinigami's bed, chuckling to herself. The poor boy was so modest. Just slightly revealing her cleavage had made the soul reaper turn redder than his hair and wither into a stuttering mess. After Rukia took some time alone with him to convince him to let her stay at his house for at least the time being, he'd grudgingly agreed and said he'd sleep on the couch. Oh, so modest. She thought. She sat up and looked down at her uniform. This gigai was very responsive, and on top of that, it kept her figure looking very trim. The schoolgirl uniform was quite constricting, however. She groaned with boredom. She stood up and tramped down the stairs, finding Ichigo sitting in the dining room munching on a package of norii.

"Kurosaki-kun!" She called to him. He fell off his chair with a clatter, his snack flying from his hands. Jumping up, he looked at her with his face as red as a beet.

"What the hell are you doing down here?!" He said in an urgent whisper.

"Ichigooo" she whined, folding her arms to exaggerate her breasts (she enjoyed watching his reaction to this)

"Where do you keep your booze?" She said with a pout. "I'm bored."

"No! Not now! You don't understand!" He looked over his shoulder and said hurriedly,

"If my Dad sees you here, he'll think-" And right on cue, in through the door came Isshin Kurosaki.

"Hello, my son! I hope your school day went-" a horrified expression came over Ichigo's face as his fathers' eyes turned to Rangiku. She put her hand on her hip and waved, hoping this wouldn't actually get Ichigo into some sort of trouble.

Isshin stared at her for a full five seconds. Then, with a movement so fast that she deemed it impossible for any human, he tackled his son into a bear hug.

"OH! MY HONORABLE SON! YOU'VE BROUGHT HOME A BEAUTIFUL GIRL TO BED WITH! HOW YOU'VE GROWN, MY FANTASTIC CHILD!" Rangiku watched in disbelief and amusement as Ichigo grasped the back of a chair and kicked his father in the stomach with both feet.

"WHY DO YOU THINK THAT EVERY TIME A GIRL ENTERS THIS HOUSE THAT SHE'S SOME TYPE OF CONCUBINE?! SICKO!" Rangiku took a mental note that Ichigo's father was a bit eccentric. With tears of apparent... joy... streaming from his eyes, the paternal figure dragged himself onto a chair and blubbered,

"Oh, Misaki! Our son has finally come out of his shell! I never thought I would see the day!" Before Ichigo could strike him again, Isshin turned to Rangiku. He practically dove into a kneel and kissed her hand. She turned slightly red. Instinct told her the advance wasn't sexual, but still... was this man fully sane?

"Thank you, Woman". Isshin said with great emotion in his voice. "Only someone as lovely as yourself could bring out my son's inner spirit. Such a delicate flower..." Rangiku decided he was referring to her with the phrase, "delicate flower." Ichigo was about as delicate as an ironclad battleship. In fact, at the moment, he was gripping the head of his chair and practically foaming at the mouth. His skin was now even brighter than his hair. Isshin looked up with a twinkle in his eye.

"Wait a moment. I forgot to pick up groceries! Ichigo! Please watch Yuzu and Karin for me!" He said in a rush.

"They're not home. They're on an exchange trip to America for five days. Remember? That eastern school?" Ichigo said. Isshin brushed the statement aside, and proceeded.

"Oh, of course. I'm off!" He winked at Rangiku on his way out the door. Stopping right before slamming it, he swung around asked,

"Will you two be needing anything? Snacks? Soda? Condoms?"

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Ichigo cried, escorting his father out the door with a flying shoe. Rangiku was too dumbfounded by their altercation to laugh.

"Um. My bad." said Rangiku. Ichigo sat with his arms hanging limply at his sides, his head pressed into the table.

"The liquor cabinet is in the other room. Please go away now." he half-mumbled, half sobbed.

"Nah. You know what? I think I'm fine." Rangiku replied, feeling a bit too awkward to deprive his family of a commodity. She smiled at his turned head, and traipsed back up the stairs to his room.

Ichigo sat at the table feeling miserable. This was why he didn't want any of the shinigami staying at his home aside from Rukia. She was... a close friend, he guessed. He heard a clicking noise in the corner, and turned. There sat Kon on top of the television set, shaking his head.

"I always thought you should be more outgoing, but if you turn out like your dad... yeesh! Maybe it's a good thing you're so grumpy." Ichigo didn't have the motivation or the energy to smack the plush around.

"Shut up." He mumbled into the table. Kon folded his arms and pouted. Then, he did something that surprised Ichigo. He asked a serious question.

"Ichigo. Why can't people take me seriously?" Ichigo snapped back in a second.

"Because you're a talking doll that my sister named 'Bostov'." Kon rolled his eyes, which was a strange spectacle, considering the fact that he had no pupils or irises. "I know I'm in a plush doll's body, ok. But I have feelings, and thoughts, and goals, and pleasures, and fears, and dreams. I'm technically not alive, yes, but I'm somebody. Y'know?" Ichigo looked up at the mod soul. The guy was right. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a serious conversation with him.

"I'm not just comic relief, damn it... I just. I want to be looked at as a real person." Ichigo felt a pang of sympathy for him. Kon's position was not one he envied. He'd essentially been the sole survivor of a genocide; plucked up by some doddering shipper and now lived his days inside an inanimate object.

"Then I think-" Suddenly, Ichigo's badge began to howl.

"Shit! Kon? Can we talk later? I need to go." Ignoring the mod's protest, he forced the pill out of the doll and swallowed it, leaving him in his shinigami robes, and Kon gasping on the floor in Ichigo's body.

"Watch some TV or something, OK?" Ichigo said. "And hey. Chin up. You can be more." The shinigami vanished out the window to go cleanse the hollow. Kon stood up, and sighed. He lurched over to the couch and grabbed the remote to the television. "Something more" he thought to himself. "... nah."

Rangiku was bored, and regretting not getting any alcohol. Her captain often referred to her as having a drinking problem. She resented that. She believed it was more of a... hobby. Yes. A hobby. Sitting back on Ichigo's bed, she reflected on that statement. A hobby? Really? She drank often, it was true. Aging was a strange thing to comprehend when you lived in soul society, but she clung to youth. She always preferred to keep a sincere and youthful attitude in life, if not a little reckless. Often, after waking up in the bed of some foolish Seireitei man who was completely undeserving of her time and love, she would feel hopeless and utterly stupid. Just once. Just once she'd like to find somebody with whom she could share that special bond with and not regret it. It didn't even need to be a committed relationship. She just wanted to be able to look back at whoever that man was, and be able to say, "I'm glad we shared that passion." Pushing those concerns from her mind, she rolled off the bed and was about to walk downstairs again to risk watching some television, when she heard a door slam. Crap. Ichigo's father might be back. She didn't want to cause the poor boy any more trouble, so she was stuck up here for the time being.

"Rangiku-san! It's me! Don't worry about it, my dad isn't here". Ichigo's voice called, almost reading her mind.

"Hollow cleansing." He said, coming up the stairs. Rangiku was rather surprised when Ichigo barged into the room wearing nothing but a pair of school-issue khaki pants. He stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing her sitting on his bed.

"Oh. My bad." He muttered.

"I thought you were in the bathroom or something." Rangiku suddenly acknowledged the boy's well- toned frame and the incredibly sexy way his hair fell on his head, emphasizing his sharp features. She was always a sucker for a pretty face. Well, a smoking hot body didn't really hurt either.

"Do you need to change or something?" She asked.

"Because I can leave." Now, the flirtatious side of her mind decided to speak up. She found it rather irritating at times.

"Not that I would mind watching you..." she said with a grin.

Ichigo was at his drawer, turned away from her so that she couldn't see his facial expression.

"Um. Thanks. I suppose." He said. Rangiku decided to start a conversation. Her interactions with Ichigo so far hadn't exactly been the most positive in the world.

"So. I'm sorry if I sort of set off your dad." Ichigo shook his head and turned around.

"He's really always like this. Don't apologize." He pulled his shirt on (to Rangiku's slight disappointment) and sighed.

"Really, kurosaki-kun? Always? There must be some type of sanity reserved in the depths of his mind." Ichigo turned around again and walked to his closet without responding, making Rangiku feel a bit ignored. She hated forced conversation, and she especially hated the fact that she was initiating it. She decided to change the subject.

"How was the hollow? Any difficulty?" Ichigo turned toward her with clean sheets in his arms.

"No." He said as he walked over. "It was big, though. Kind of spider-like. I don't really like spiders."

"Oh god, they're so disgusting." She said. "But you know, I've never seen one in Seireitei."

"Really?" Ichigo said. "I guess there are some upsides to dying." Rangiku giggled.

Ichigo dumped the bedspread onto the mattress.

"You'll be sleeping on these tonight." He said in a businesslike manner. "You want some help making the bed?" Rangiku wished she could've just said, "Sure. Thanks!" But her flirtatious side decided it was time to speak up yet again.

"Sure. Can you also help me... undo them later?" She bit her lip and grinned slightly. Ichigo turned bright red and after about ten seconds of sputtering, said

"I'll help you with bed." Rangiku was smacking herself on the inside. Why did she have to torture the poor boy when they had just started a civilized conversation? And "help me undo them later"? That line could've been so much better. Rangiku stood up and grasped two corners of the sheet. Ichigo lifted the other two and they laid the cloth neatly across his mattress. Ichigo then grabbed the blanket and tossed it over the sheet in such a way that it fell perfectly in line with the bedding. Rangiku picked up her two pillows and tossed them onto the headboard.

"Thanks, Kurosaki-Kun." She smiled. Ichigo put a hand behind his head.

"Don't mention it." he said. Rangiku sat on the bed and patted the spot next to her.

"Sit! I wanna talk." To her great surprise, he actually obliged. She hadn't really planned anything to say, so now she was stuck in a predicament. Fortunately, Ichigo decided to speak first.

"You seem kind of giddy. You ok?" he asked. Rangiku was taken aback. She hadn't realized that he'd take her flirtatious comments as giddiness.

"Yeah. Of course! Why would giddiness seem like a bad thing anyhow?"

"Well, my Dad is giddy, for one thing..."

"This is true". Said Rangiku. Ichigo lay back, his lanky body stretching out to cover the lower portion of the bed. She found herself staring at the Boy's figure. He was really a respectable character. She couldn't really think of one quality about him that she found unattractive. (Except for that constant frown.) The way his muscles rippled under his shirt, the cinnamon- like scent that surrounded him, his slow breathing, and the way his fingers would feel if they slipped into her skirt and- No. Stop. Stop right there. He was an honest and innocent boy. She had no right to think those thoughts. She hated it when she got aroused like this; utter temptation becoming the only thing on her mind. She put her head in her hands and moaned.

"Hey. You sure you're alright?" Ichigo asked. Rangiku shook her head.

"Why am I such a slut?" she said. She looked over to Ichigo, who seemed somewhat shocked.

"Why would you say that?" he asked. Rangiku had not meant to ask that question out loud. All she could do now was to keep talking.

"I can't count the number of men I've slept with on my fingers anymore, kurosaki-kun. I feel-" Ichigo interrupted, and suddenly became stern. (Which wasn't really saying much)

"That doesn't make you a slut. That's not a fair statement. Who gives a crap? If you want to, you know..." Rangiku watched intently as he tried to find the courage to say the word.

"Well... have sex with multiple people, then why is that something to be ashamed of?" He finished. Rangiku didn't respond. She felt ashamed for exposing her guilt to a boy that she also happened to find immensely attractive. She stared at the wall, but turned when she heard Ichigo's voice again.

"A guy can sleep around and be looked at like a friggin' hero because of it. You don't need to feel like you committed some heinous crime." Rangiku snorted. That double standard.

"A key that opens many locks is a treasure, but a lock that can be opened by any key is worthless." She mumbled. Ichigo turned toward her.

"Yeah" he said. Rangiku sighed. She thought he would agree with that.

"Yup. That'd be a great metaphor if vaginas were fucking locks." Rangiku looked into Ichigo's brown eyes. She'd never heard a man state something so just and yet so comforting so bluntly. And then, for some reason, she lost all her composition. She was on top of him, her feet on the headboard and her lips crushing into his. She tried to enjoy this moment as much as possible, because she knew he would probably reject this soon enough- but to her surprise he actually stopped flailing and resisting after about five seconds. She licked his lips and moaned, begging for entrance, and he obliged quite quickly. Their tongues battled for dominance, but she became victorious. She lifted her head up, breathing heavily, her eyes wide open.

"I'm not a slut?" she asked. She waited with baited breath for his answer. Ichigo put his hand on her cheek, and said

"If I thought you were, I don't think I'd have done that..." She smiled, and bent down for another kiss. Rangiku was delirious right now. Of all the people that she'd had relations with, she knew not one who she fully respected as a person. Feeling a bit guilty, she realized that she found Ichigo so attractive that it probably wouldn't really matter if he was a total douchebag. But that didn't matter right now. What mattered was that he wasn't one, and that he was gorgeous, and that he was underneath her right now feeling very aroused. She snaked a hand up to his collar and tugged on it to signal that she wanted his shirt off. Ichigo did his best to keep their lips connected while he took off the piece of clothing. Rangiku had to stifle her laugh at his desperation. But Ichigo succeeded, and now that his chiseled chest was exposed to her, she rose up to stare.

"My god kid..." she panted." It's like you're photoshopped". Ichigo raised an eyebrow and said,

"How do you even know what that is?"

"I get around." She said curtly. She began to roughly massage his chest, and ran her other through his hair. She squeaked as she felt the boy's' fingers begin to unbutton her shirt.

"Not so shy anymore, hm?" she murmured into his mouth. Ichigo growled animalistically, and tore her shirt open with single sweep. The buttons flew, and Rangiku pouted. "That was school-issue. Now I have to pay for it."

"Shame." Ichigo breathed passively as he began to taste the nape of her neck. Rangiku was surprised at Ichigo's aggressiveness. Judging by his previous behavior, Rangiku had actually been questioning whether or not he played for the other team... Ichigo grasped Rangiku around the waist and cornered her against the wall. He reached around to her back and began to fumble with her bra, not gaining much ground. Rangiku giggled and reached back to undo the irritating garment herself. She threw it to the ground, and Ichigo knelt back to stare. And stare. And stare. After about seven seconds, Ichigo looked up to her face.

"First time?" she inquired.
"Maybe." he said. The topless pair then proceeded to begin kissing again. Ichigo was awfully good at this, considering he had never even seen a woman's chest before. (Well, maybe) He reached up with one hand to fondle her right breast, and the other began to stroke the inside of her thigh. Oh, god, that was not fair. Rangiku had become tired of stroking Ichigo's stomach, and this was the final straw. She broke their kiss and nibbled his ear. All their movements stopped momentarily.

"Ichigo..." she whispered as huskily as she could. "Touch me." She slowly reached down, and with movements torturously slow, she removed her panties. She watched the man on top of her decide how to approach this development with amusement. So innocent... her opinion quickly changed when he slammed her against the wall again and forced two fingers inside of her. The movement was so sudden that she cried out. He began to toy with her breast, and added his thumb to the wonderful mixture of sensations that was occurring in her nether regions. She threw her arms around his neck and began to kiss him, snaking her tongue between his lips. She groaned with pleasure as Ichigo's thumb began to swirl in a circular motion across her clitoris, and his sheer sex appeal was beginning to send her closer to her climax much earlier than she expected. She had to admit, he wasn't bad at all.

"You going to... you going to cum on me, sweetheart?" The strawberry shinigami growled. Rangiku nodded.

"Don't you dare stop." she gasped through clenched teeth. She squeaked as Ichigo turned his attention toward her neck again. A familiar tight feeling was blossoming in her abdomen. She had never been with a man that could send her over the edge so quickly.

"Faster." she moaned. "Faster." But he went a step further, sliding a third finger inside her to Rangiku's great pleasure. She closed her eyes and felt her climax coming. She tried to count his thrusts, but she was seeing stars. And then, explosion. Her muscles spasmed and she cried out with each wave of ecstasy that raced through her. She opened her eyes to see him looking at her with intent, nearly asking what to do next. Rangiku delicately placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him down so he was flat on his back again. She enjoyed being dominant and being dominated during sex equally; it depended on her mood. And right now, she wanted to be the boss. Ichigo spoke.

"So you're the cat, and I'm the mouse?" Rangiku had to roll her eyes at that crack. She leaned in to kiss him, but when he motioned to reciprocate, she put her finger in front of his lips.

"Well then. Do you want me to eat you?" She felt Ichigo shiver underneath her. She began to plant kisses on his neck, and slowly worked her way down his collarbone. She wanted him to know what was coming. She ran her tongue down across his abdomen, enjoying the sharp taste of skin and the shudders that ran through his body. She reached his belt, and she could see his length pressed against the cloth of his pants. Ever so slowly, she undid the belt while flashing Ichigo her naughtiest grin. She unzipped his khakis and revealed his member. Rangiku gave a mental nod of approval. Just slightly above average, with quite a sizable width. Looking at Ichigo's face, she licked his shaft from base to tip. He hissed with pleasure, and gripped the bed sheets. "More?" She asked, teasing him.

"God yes." He managed to strain out. Rangiku licked his tip with a swirling motion. She actually had only performed fellatio a couple times before. The taste usually discouraged her, but she cherished Ichigo's reactions too much to stop. On that note, he actually tasted rather sweet. Like strawberries. Huh. She slowed the rhythm of her tongues movements, and then with a sudden but smooth motion, took him into her throat. He grasped the back of her head and let out a shaky "Haaa..." due to his inexperience, it was great fun to toy with him. If she could grin in this position, she would've. She bobbed her head up and down, running her hands along Ichigo's thighs to control his thrusting. His moaning was even making her aroused. She could feel his hand tightening in her hair, and she knew she needed to slow down or else this lightweight might climax too early.

"Rangiku-san... I'm..." he tried to say. Rangiku didn't respond. Removing him from her mouth, she grabbed the base of his length and squeezed. She smiled up at him.

"Don't worry. I got you." She smirked. She crept up to kiss him, and he obliged. Apparently he didn't mind his own taste. The couple kicked off their remaining clothes, pressing their mouths together passionately. Rangiku broke their lip lock. They lay together for a moment, clothes discarded, staring into each others eyes. Maybe this was what she was looking for.

"Ichigo..." she murmured, brushing his lips. "I'm ready if you are" He frowned.

"No protection..?" He asked. Rangiku smiled and nuzzled his nose against hers.

"Ichigo... you're so cute... thinking that gigai can get pregnant" Ichigo turned red.

"That's convenient, I suppose." Rangiku giggled and straddled Ichigo's crotch. Rangiku looked at Ichigo's face for approval, and he nodded. Rangiku lowered her body, and he slid inside of her. Matsumoto hissed, but Ichigo was almost paralyzed. He made a noise like a mouse being trodden on, and put on a face of absolute bewilderment. Rangiku grinned. She had never taken someone's virginity before. it was a precious and sweet action.

"Matsumoto..." he said "I don't think I can really-" she cut him off by placing a finger on his lips. "Don't worry." She whispered. "This is your first time. Just last as long as you can, ok?" He nodded. She raised her hips a few inches, and then dropped them down again, making the pair gasp in pleasure. She performed the motion again, shifting her body up and down at a steady pace. She began moaning with each movement, and Ichigo began to push into her.

"Take me. Faster. Please." She managed to spit out. Ichigo increased the tempo of his thrusts. Rangiku stopped bouncing and quelled his movements by grinding her hips on him in a slow circle, causing him to arch his back and cry out. He placed his hands on her hips and drove into her. Rangiku gasped in shock; he filled her completely! She shivered, and then grinned down at him. She tightened her muscles around him, laughing at his squirming reaction.

"I'm sorry. Was I not squeezing tight enough?" She said. She began to grind her hips again, Ichigo driving himself deeper into her with hands on her hips. Rangiku was forgetting everything; nothing was important but the boy underneath her. He felt so amazing; their touch caused her more pleasure than anything else in the world. Nothing else existed except for him and her and the beautiful bliss they were sharing. She might consider this a one-time thing, but then again, she hadn't experienced anyone like this before. Regardless, what she did know was that this was a decision she wouldn't have to regret. Ichigo sat up and began to nibble her neck again, and in turn she began nibbling his ear.

"Kurosaki..." she murmured.

"Matsumoto. I think I'm going to..."

"Ok." she whispered. "Ok." Ichigo began to thrust underneath her again, and with a cry he let himself release. Rangiku moaned as his warm seed filled her caverns. She hadn't reached climax, but she had no complaints. She arched backward and felt Ichigo empty his essence into her, feeling his frame twitch underneath her with each and every wave of his orgasm. When his body stopped convulsing, he lay back and sighed as if he was melting into the bed. Rangiku lowered herself down on top of him, and brushed his lips with her own.

"Am I a slut, Ichigo?" she asked him again.

"No. but you'd be good at it if you were." Rangiku punched him in the arm.

"Asshole." She giggled. Ichigo kissed her neck and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"that was awesome, Rangiku." She grinned.

"I try." She said playfully. Ichigo's eyes suddenly widened.

"Oh shit!" he said. Rangiku suddenly knew what he was worried about.

"I'm sorry, Matsumoto, just, my Dad-" he started.

"Oh, god, don't be. Get the hell out, quick!" she laughed. The coupled hurriedly threw on their clothes. Rangiku sat on the bed, feeling very satisfied. She turned to see Ichigo heading out the door with their used sheets in his hands.

"Hey." she called. Ichigo turned.

"Don't you dare think I'm done with you." The shinigami turned red as a strawberry, and said,

"Shut up." he shut the door and stormed down the hallway. Rangiku giggled and lay back on the mattress for a well-deserved nap. Back to square one.

Kon shut the door and stormed down the hallway. When he reached the stairs, he sat down on the first step, and screamed a cry of sheer joy into the sheets he held. He was lucky Ichigo was taking so long with his hollow. He knew that when Ichigo or Rangiku found out about this, he was going to be killed, but he would die happy. It didn't matter. He, humble, bullied, little Kon, had just bedded Rangiku Matsumoto! He saw that she wasn't a slut. It wasn't fair to call her that. All that he knew was that this day was probably the happiest day of his entire life. He worked his jaw a little bit. Staying in Ichigo's frowning character had taken some serious effort, but now, he could smile all he wanted. And he certainly had a lot to smile about.

Thank you, all my lovely readers! I hope you all liked that little surprise at the end. :) I think the poor guy deserves more than to be smacked around constantly. Maybe he wouldn't be such a perv if found a lady to tame him. This is meant to be a one shot, but I may continue. Well, probably not, but still... there's a sliver of hope. Please review, and muchas gracias!