A/N: I didn't think this needed to be said, but now I'm forced to add this to all of my stories:
This work of fiction belongs to me, sociallyawkwardpenguin. The Rizzoli and Isles characters belong to TNT. However this story, and all original characters, belong to me. Absolutely no reposting of this story is permitted (including translations of this story) without my express written permission. If you see this story posted in any other forum besides Archive of our Own or FanFiction, please notify me via private message immediately.
The call from Barry Frost came down just as I was closing up shop for the night. It had been a long, tiresome day filled with a dead child, a possible chain of custody issue and three irksome calls from Doctor Pike, and I was really looking forward to just getting home. Children's autopsies always pressed my resolve, and I had been having a hard time keeping it together today. People think I am cold and clinical, but even I have my limits. I was torn between going home to cry it out alone and asking Jane to come home with me. I could use some of her strength tonight. I always looked to Jane for comfort, and wondered how I had gone for so long before meeting her.
I had finished my last autopsy about an hour earlier and was filing the last of the paperwork as my phone began to buzz.
"Doc, are you still in the building?" Barry Frost's tone was apologetic. He knew I wasn't usually here this late.
"I am Barry. What's wrong?"
"Can you come up and take a look at Jane? She had a perp hit her on the back of the head with a two by four, and she refused treatment. She won't let me take her to an ER and she's saying she's fine, but I can tell she's not fine."
I had already grabbed my purse and made it to the elevators by the time Barry had finished speaking. "I'm on my way up. Just keep her there, don't let her try to drive herself home."
"Thanks Doc."
I disconnected the call and was thankful that I didn't have to wait long for the elevator to arrive.
When I arrived upstairs, I could hear Jane yelling before the elevator door opened.
"I said I'm FINE, Frost! I don't need to go to a hospital. I don't need to be seen by a doctor! I'm FINE!" Jane stumbled a bit as she bent over to grab her jacket off the back of her chair, and her lack of coordination told me she was anything but fine.
"You're combative, uncoordinated and agitated." I said as I walked up to her. I didn't hesitate to grab her face with my right hand and pull her toward me to look in her eyes. "Your pupils are not evenly dilated and your eyes are glassy. You have a concussion and you need medical treatment."
Jane is usually pretty disagreeable on a good day, but when she's in pain, she lashes out like a wild animal. I was expecting the same yelling that she had been directing at Frost, but she surprised me when she spoke quietly, nearly relaxing into my touch. It took me a second to realize I still had her chin gripped in my hand and was forcing her to look right at me.
"Well, you're a doctor." She said, her speech somewhat garbled by the placement of my thumb and fingers on either side of her mouth. "Can't you just fix it?"
"I cannot, Jane. You need a CT scan to look for a skull fracture. You need an MRI to look for bleeding on the brain."
"I don't have bleeding on the brain!" There was the yelling again. "I SAID I'M FINE!"
"You know who else said she was fine?" I asked, wanting to raise my voice but holding on to control. "Natasha Richardson said she was fine, and she was dead a few hours later."
"Maura!" Jane's voice took on a whiny tone that I just didn't have the patience for tonight. The day had been too long, my nerves had already made me far too tense.
"Did you call her?" She pointed an accusing finger at Frost.
"I did, Jane. I figured if I couldn't talk any sense into you, Doctor Isles could." Barry shot me a sheepish grin before glaring at Jane.
"Oh, so now the two of you are in cahoots?"
"You know what, Jane? I'm tired, I'm stressed out, and I've already put up with more than enough tonight." I grabbed her suit jacket and my purse in one hand, and took her elbow with the other. "We're going to the emergency room, and I really, really don't want to hear you complain about it. Shut up and get in the car."
I didn't have time to watch Barry's jaw drop because I had already dragged Jane out of the room and back toward the bank of elevators. A uniformed officer was just getting off of one of the elevators when he saw us coming, and he held the door open as I shoved Jane in. If I hadn't been so aggravated by Jane's squealing, I would have laughed at the wide-eyed stare of the uniform as he jumped out of our way. I hit the door close button and the button for the lobby, and waited with my hand still firmly on Jane's elbow as we descended.
Jane became significantly more docile when we reached the lobby, because her screams of righteous indignation had reached the lobby before we did, and there was a crowd of people openly staring at the elevator doors when they opened. I pushed Jane forward, out the front door of the precinct and shoved her toward my car, which was parked (legally, unlike Jane's), in a spot a few yards away from the entrance.
"Get in the car, Jane."
My voice was quiet, but my tone was unmistakeable, which is why Jane didn't even argue. She threw herself into the passenger seat with a huff, and I opened the driver's side door, got into the car, and slammed the door shut. Both of us jumped at the force I'd used to close the door behind me.
The anger emanating off of me must have really gotten to Jane, because she nervously said "Wow, you must have gotten here pretty early this morning if you got a spot that close to the precinct."
I didn't bother telling her I had been at work since five o'clock that morning. It wouldn't make a difference to her anyway. Instead, I recognized her attempt to change the subject and lighten things up, but the longer it took us to get to the hospital, the more my anger built up. Jane throwing a temper tantrum was the last thing I needed today, and I didn't even realize that her tantrum was becoming contagious. Before I knew it, I had lost all control.
"That's right, Jane. I had a fourteen hour day today. Which puts me in no mood for this- this-" oh, fuck it, who would care if I cursed? "this bullshit with you tonight."
I heard Jane suck in her breath. I'm not sure that she had understood just how angry I was until I had cursed at her. And I realized just then just how hurt Jane was physically that she couldn't come up with a sarcastic remark about my word choice.
"I am so tired of this, Jane. It's bad enough that I- that we- all worry about you constantly when you're on the job. And we all know that this worry is what comes with the job. But what I- I mean we- your family and I- should not have to do is worry about you when you're like this. You're HURT, Jane. You need MEDICAL ATTENTION, Jane, and all you can do is sit there like a petulant child and scream that you're FINE. You're NOT FINE, Jane! You're not fine and now you've worried Frost and you've worried me, and you're acting like we've caused you the ultimate indignity by forcing you to go to the emergency room to get checked out."
"Maura, I-"
I cut her off. I wasn't done yet. "I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear how you feel you have to be tough and strong because you're a woman in a male-dominated field. I don't want to hear how you're not hurt even though I can clearly see the signs of physical distress. I don't want to hear it, Jane. You think you're being all selfless and brave, but you're the most selfish person I know. You do this and you don't care about how much I worry-"
I had pulled up in front of the emergency room and burst into tears. And I think that is what scared Jane more than anything else was me sitting there weeping so openly. She gaped at me while I threw the car into park.
"I'm so tired, and you don't care! You don't care about what you put me through when you do this! You don't care!"
Somehow I had gotten out of the car and was still bawling when I opened up her car door.
"I don't understand why everything is a constant battle with you! Why? Why can't you just see how much this hurts me when you act like this? Why don't you care, Jane?"
I had pushed her toward the entrance to the emergency room and now it was my turn to have people openly staring at me when the automatic doors slid open.
A triage nurse approached us, along with the security guard. Before they could say anything about me calming down or being removed from the building, I pointed at Jane and said "this is Detective Jane Rizzoli of the Boston Police Department. She was forcefully hit on the back of the head by a suspect with a two by four. She is showing the signs and symptoms of concussion and may have a skull fracture. She needs a CT and an MRI."
The triage nurse took Jane by the elbow and walked away, and I added one final thing to the nurse before they got too far: "She has been combatant and agitated. She appears to be in an altered mental state, and is therefore not able to legally refuse medical treatment." The nurse nodded at me and Jane gave me a scathing look as they continued back to the triage area. Jane had been combatant and agitated, but she definitely wasn't in an altered mental state. This was actually Jane's typical mental state, but if lying kept Jane from being able to refuse medical treatment, I'd deal with the hives later.
I felt the security guard touch me gently on my elbow. Before he could escort me out, I turned to him and apologized.
"I'm sorry officer. It's been a long day. I'd like to take a few minutes to compose myself and then go back and sit with Detective Rizzoli in triage, if that's all right."
To his credit, the security guard relented, realizing I wasn't the threat to everyone's safety that he first took me to be. "I think that's a good idea, ma'am. There's a bathroom right over there. Take a few minutes to calm down, and then I'll bring you back there myself."
"Thank you."
I used the restroom, and then washed my hands and face. I brushed my hair and reapplied the eye makeup I had ruined while I was crying. There was nothing I could do about the red splotches that had started at the base of my neck. I would just have to deal with the itching. It was worth it if it meant getting Jane into the hospital and getting her the treatment she needed. I looked at myself in the mirror one last time. Despite my efforts, I still looked like a slightly unhinged version of my cool, reserved, professional self. Leave it to Jane to make me this way.
When I stepped outside a few minutes later, the security guard saw me and approached me. As we started walking toward the triage area, I wanted to apologize again, but he seemed to sense that and started speaking before I could.
"Sometimes when we love someone so much and they do something stupid, it's hard to keep our wits about us. She's lucky to have you."
I didn't really understand what he meant by that. Was he mistaking Jane and I for a couple? Or was he just saying that Jane was lucky to have a friend like me? His statement added to the confusion I already felt for Jane, and I was too tired and too upset to really ponder it very much.
He dropped me off inside of an empty triage cubicle, and asked me to wait there. A nurse would be with me shortly.
A few minutes later I was approached by the triage nurse that had met us at the front door, and I wondered suddenly if I was the one being triaged because of the way she looked at me. The nurse caught my expression and smiled. "This is Detective Rizzoli's triage room. She's been brought down to radiology, and won't be back for a little while." The nurse studied me closely. "You knew exactly what she needed when you brought her in. Are you a doctor?"
"I'm Doctor Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts." I said flatly.
"I thought I recognized you from the news. Detective Rizzoli is good to have someone like you to take care of her."
There it was again. What on earth were these people talking about? I looked up at the nurse wearily and tried to formulate some sort of response.
I guess the angle at which I was sitting and looking up at the nurse gave the nurse a full view of the now rampant hives on my neck. "Oh my, Dr. Isles! You knew what Detective Rizzoli needed, but what do YOU need?" She walked over to the entrance to the cubicle and put two gloves on, then returned and lifted my chin to study my neck. "Are you ill, doctor?"
"No, it's just a histamine response. A very mild allergic reaction." Yeah, an allergic reaction to lying. "If you have an adult dose of Benadryl, I would appreciate it."
The nurse looked worried and was about to protest that I too should be seen by a doctor. I cut her off before she could begin speaking. "I guarantee you that I am not about to go into anaphylactic shock. Two Benadryl will work fine."
The nurse shrugged and took off the gloves as she walked out. She knew that doctors made the worst patients, and I inwardly felt guilty for laying in to Jane for essentially doing what I just did.
The nurse came back with a small cup with two pills in it and a glass of water. I smiled at her gratefully as I took the two pills and then sat back down in the chair to wait for Jane to come back from radiology. Whether it was from the length of the day, the stress from the situation with Jane, or the Benadryl, I fell asleep in the chair while I waited. I woke up when I heard Jane protesting next to me.
"Ow! What is that? What are you doing?" I could tell she was trying, unsuccessfully, to protest vehemently while not waking me up.
"Trust me, you're going to want this. It's for the headache." I heard the nurse respond.
I sat up slowly and watched as the nurse adjusted her position and tried once again to start an intravenous line in Jane's left arm.
"It would be a lot easier on you later if you put that in her right arm," I said quietly, startling them both. "Jane is left handed, which means that she'll likely pull the line out of her left arm several times before the night is over. She tends to fidget. A lot."
The nurse smiled at me gratefully and Jane looked at me curiously but didn't say anything. I could tell she was trying to gauge just how angry I still was. Truthfully most of my anger had abated, but it was still there, just under the surface.
"And you would make things like this easier on yourself if you would drink more water during the day. She can't find a vein because you're dehydrated, as usual."
Jane didn't say anything in response. She just sat still and let the nurse poke around on her right arm until the line went in.
"Detective Rizzoli has been down to radiology and had a CT scan and MRI. The radiologist is reviewing the films and the attending physician will be down to speak with you shortly about the results. For now the attending has approved an intravenous dose of Dilaudid to mitigate the headache."
The nurse stopped and looked at me. "Looks like the Benadryl is working. I can give you another dose in two hours if you need it."
I was stunned. Benadryl is a four hour medication. Had I really been asleep for two hours?
"How long was I asleep?" I asked.
"Well, there was a bit of a wait in radiology, so Detective Rizzoli was there for about two hours. She had been wheeled in here for about fifteen minutes before I came in to start the IV. I would say you were asleep for about two and a half hours. It's about 8:30pm now, Doctor Isles."
I was absolutely stunned. I was supposed to be worrying about Jane and I slept through her entire visit to the radiology department. I looked at Jane and wanted to apologize to her, but she wouldn't even know what I was apologizing for. And then I thought to myself that she wouldn't want me to apologize anyway. This is what she wanted- people to think of her as selfless and brave.
"Thank you, Nurse..." I said instead.
"Nurse Arnold. Tamara Arnold. The doctor will be with you both shortly."
After Nurse Arnold left the triage area, I finally thought to look over at Jane. "How do you feel?" I asked quietly.
It broke my heart when I saw the look on Jane's face. I think she was afraid to answer me. She was afraid to tell me she was in pain because she was afraid I would say I told her so, yet she was afraid to tell me she wasn't in pain because I would start on my tirade again. In venting my anger to Jane I had made her fearful of me, and that was the last thing that I wanted.
I got up and moved over to her bedside, taking her hand in my shaking hand. She noticed how it was shaking, but I didn't let her say anything.
"It's normal to have a headache. The Dilaudid will help with that. I'm guessing you have a concussion, Jane. They're probably going to want to keep you overnight."
"Oh." Jane replied. I could tell she wanted to ask me to take her home, to my place, so she could stay there and be observed instead of staying overnight in the hospital, but she was afraid to.
"Let's see what the doctor says when he comes in, okay? Maybe it's not that bad." I squeezed her hand and tried to show her I wasn't angry anymore, but Jane remained uncharacteristically quiet. I leaned over her and brushed her hair out of her face and that's when she saw the hives on my neck and down my cleavage.
"Oh Maur- what's wrong?" Now I had Jane worried.
"I had a reaction when I told the nurse you were in an altered mental state. I knew you weren't, but didn't know how to keep you from signing yourself out against medical advice. So I told them you weren't legally able to do that."
"So you... you gave yourself an itchy, burning, uncomfortable set of red, blotchy hives to help me?" Jane asked, her voice tinged with wonder.
"Yup, but it's going away now. I took two Benadryl while you were in radiology. I think that's what knocked me out."
"Plus you worked a fourteen hour day today." Jane said matter-of-factly.
"I did. And then I had to deal with a chain of custody issue, Doctor Pike, and a child autopsy."
"And a best friend that wouldn't come to the ER." Jane added, looking up at me. "I'm sorry, Maura. You should go home. You're exhausted. I'll call my Ma to come and get me when they release me."
"I'm here, Jane. I'm not going anywhere. You should know that by now. And I forgot to call your mother. Crap!"
"Are you sure you're okay, Maura? That's the second time tonight you've cursed."
"I was really upset earlier, and I'm sorry for the way I reacted."
"I had a while to think about what you said while I was down in radiology. I'm going to try and be better about stuff like this. And let's not call my mom until we know exactly what's going on."
I smiled at Jane weakly and squeezed her hand gently. Here she was trying to tell me she would be better about situations like this but she was still trying to hide the situation from her mother. Some things would never change.
There was a knock outside of the cubicle and a weary looking doctor walked in, grabbing gloves from the container near the door.
"Detective Rizzoli?"
"Yes" Jane said.
"I'm Doctor Staunton, the attending physician. Can you tell me your full name please?"
"Jane Rizzoli."
"Ahem." I interrupted and looked pointedly at Jane. "He asked you for your full name."
I watched Jane roll her eyes, confident that she was going to be just fine because she exhibited no pain when she did it.
"Jane Clementine Rizzoli." She responded, sneering on the "Clementine."
Dr. Staunton sniffed, disinterested and slightly annoyed. "Can you tell me what day it is?"
"It's Thursday." Jane replied.
"Do you know where you are?" He asked.
"Massachusetts General Hospital. Emergency room." Jane craned her neck to look at the sign above her bed. "Triage room eight."
The doctor stepped over and shined a pen light in Jane's eyes, making her flinch. "Please, Detective, hold still." The doctor sounded whiny, like he couldn't wait to be finished in here. I caught a whiff of the doctor's breath when he leaned in to look into Jane's eyes, and grimaced. Poor Jane. If Dr. Staunton's breath was that bad from where I was standing, I can't imagine how she must have been feeling.
The doctor stepped away and I could see Jane let out the breath she had been holding. When the doctor turned around to pick up Jane's medical chart, Jane waved her hand in front of her face to indicate just how bad it was. I had to stop myself from laughing.
"Well Jane, it looks like you have a concussion, and a possible hairline fracture on the back of your skull. It was a little unclear because of the swelling, so there might not be a fracture at all. There's not much we can do for the fracture if there is one. It's minor, and it's not a depressed fracture, so the usual course of treatment is to monitor it and let it heal on it's own."
"You mean you're not going to put my head in a cast?" Leave it to Jane to find sarcasm in a moment like this.
Dr. Staunton wasn't impressed. "No, Detective. We generally don't put heads in casts. I'm keeping you overnight here in the ER for observation, and should you be just as cognizant and chatty-" he emphasized the word chatty "- in the morning, we can send you home. You'll need follow up care for the next three to six weeks. And I'm afraid that in your line of work, you're going to need to do desk duty until we're sure the fracture is healed."
"Oh c'mon! I'M FINE!" Jane bellowed, and I shot her a glare. This was what we had fought about and when Jane saw the look on my face, she reeled in her indignation a bit.
"Dr. Staunton, couldn't I go stay with Doctor Isles tonight? She can observe me and I'd be much more comfortable at her house than here in the hospital."
Jane's gumption never ceased to surprise me. After everything she pulled tonight, she still thought it was going to be all right to come stay with me. But when I thought about it, I knew I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't trust anyone else to care for her, and if I really thought about it, I knew I would be jealous of anyone else that she chose to let care for her.
Dr. Staunton interrupted my thoughts. "I would prefer that you stay here tonight, so we can do another CT in the morning. Tomorrow, if you're doing this well, I will release you into the care of Dr. Isles."
I was relieved with the finality of Dr. Staunton's tone, but Jane just got more agitated. "I don't wanna stay here, Maura."
"I'll stay with you, Jane."
I could tell that was not the answer that Jane wanted to hear, but she opted for brave and selfless again instead of arguing to go home. Maybe she was going to work on getting better about these things.
"No, you need to go home and rest. You're tired, Maura. I can see it."
"I'll stay here, Jane. And I'll call your mother and convince her to stay home. We'll be out of here first thing in the morning."
"Oh crap, I forgot about Ma. Let's not call her at all. You know she's gonna come down here no matter what you say."
"I'll see what I can do, Jane. And watch your language." I smiled at her as I pulled out my cell phone and started walking to the door of the emergency room.
"Hey!" I heard her yell behind me. "How come you got to curse twice tonight?"
I knew Jane was going to be just fine.
I called Angela and told her about what happened to Jane. I stressed that the situation was minor (though the idea of her possibly having a skull fracture was worrisome) and emphasized that the situation was under control. I told her that I was monitoring Jane right along with the doctors and nurses, and that Jane was sleeping. Jane wouldn't even know if Angela didn't come by tonight, and tomorrow morning we would be home bright and early and Angela could see her then.
Angela protested loudly into the mouthpiece of the phone, and I was silently thankful for the Benadryl I'd taken earlier because it seemed to be preventing the hives from getting any worse.
As a scientist, I don't believe in miracles, but I somehow managed to convince Angela to stay home. She ended the conversation with "My Janie is lucky to have someone like you, Maura."
That was the third time tonight I had heard some variation of that phrase. Someone needed to explain to me just what, exactly that meant.
I put the phone back in my purse and walked back in to see Jane.
"Your mother is worried, but is staying home. She sends her love."
Jane looked relieved. "You should go home too, Maura. You're not going to get much sleep in that chair tonight."
"I promised your mother I would stay here and keep an eye on you. I'll sleep when we get home in the morning."
I walked over to where Jane was lying and pushed her gently back so she was lying on the bed instead of sitting up. "You, on the other hand, need to get as much rest as you can. I am sure that Dilaudid is hitting you and you're fighting to stay awake."
I rubbed Jane's back for a little while until I felt her breath even out and I was sure she had dozed off. I walked back to the chair and pulled Jane's suit jacket out of the bag labeled "Patient's Belongings" and wrapped it around myself. If I couldn't be curled up with her on that bed, wrapping myself up in her jacket was the next best thing. I wondered why I wished I could curl up with her at all, but was too tired to dissect the thought.
"Maur?" Jane mumbled.
"What do you need, baby?" I asked, surprised that she was still awake and by my choice of words.
"If that doctor guy comes back, could you give him a breath mint?"
I laughed, hard, and heard Jane giggle from the bed.
"I can do that, yes."
"Maur?" Jane mumbled again, her voice clouded by sleep.
"Yes, Jane?"
"I love you."
"It's the Dilauded, Jane. But I love you too."
"No, it's not the Dilauded. I love you. I really, really love you. And I want you to know that."
"I do know it, Jane. And I really, really love you too. But you need to get some sleep. Close your eyes."
"H'okay... I'm really lucky to have you." Jane mumbled and she drifted off to sleep.
I stayed awake and pondered just how lucky I was to have Jane in my life. I traveled the world, experienced things half the population would never experience first hand, but I don't think I ever truly lived until I met Jane. I couldn't imagine my life without her, and because of that, I felt guilty for how I treated her earlier today. After all, Jane was just being Jane, and I never wanted to change her. So why then, did I get so caught up in her not caring about my feelings? And what were my feelings, exactly? I had just readily responded to her that I loved her too. Was that why it upset me so much that she didn't appear to care when I worried about her? Jane wasn't a cruel person. She was tough and sometimes she was brash, but I truly believed it was her love of her family and her need to protect the people she cared for that drove her into law enforcement. It was not in her nature to be cruel.
Nurse Arnold came back in to the room a few hours later and pressed another dose of Dilauded into Jane's IV. She also left a small, kidney-shaped bowl on the table next to us.
"Has she complained of nausea?" she asked.
"No, and she's been sleeping pretty soundly."
"That's good. But between the concussion and the side effects of the painkillers, she may experience some nausea and vomiting. I'll leave this here for any emergencies, but don't hesitate to call one of the nurses if she needs anything."
"Thanks." I said, looking at the small bowl and wondering how it was possible for patients to vomit so neatly into them when they were in the hospital. I couldn't do that at home when I was stomach sick no matter how hard I tried.
"How about you?" Nurse Arnold asked. "Are you all right? Do you need another dose of Benadryl?"
I felt my neck and realized that at some point the hives had gone away. "No, thank you. I'm fine. I have histamine reactions when I'm especially stressed. I'm calmer now so I shouldn't be needing any more Benadryl. But thank you."
Satisfied, Nurse Arnold turned back to check Jane's vitals. She woke Jane gently, to make sure she hadn't slipped into a coma. Jane's biting reply to her questions told us Jane was just fine, and Nurse Arnold updated the chart.
"I think that we probably won't need to wake her again tonight. She seems stable. I'm going off duty in about an hour. When Nurse Tuckerman arrives, I'll update her on the situation. She'll be here for the rest of the night and will make sure Detective Rizzoli has her second CT scan in the morning."
"Thank you, Nurse Arnold. Have a good night."
"You too, Doctor Isles. Take care."
When Nurse Tuckerman arrived, she greeted me with a warm smile. "You still awake, Doctor? You should get some rest." She took note of Jane's suit jacket wrapped over the front of me like a blanket. "I bet you're cold. I'll ask one of the aides to bring up a blanket and pillow for you. How's our patient?"
I didn't bother to tell her that I had Jane's jacket on me because it smelled like Jane, and having something of Jane's near me all the time was calming. I wasn't sure she would understand. Instead I chose to update her on Jane.
"She's been sleeping soundly since Nurse Arnold was last here. When Nurse Arnold woke her earlier she was a bit rude, but that's typical of Jane when she is abruptly awakened from a deep sleep."
"Sounds like my husband." Nurse Tuckerman replied with a smile. "How about you, Doctor? Tamara said you had an allergic reaction earlier and you might need some more Benadryl."
This is why I loved nurses so much. They are part of an often underpaid, often misunderstood profession. In what other profession would you find a stressed, harried professional in charge of maintaining the very lives of other people and have them stop to ask about your wellbeing too, even if you weren't their concern? The only other profession that came to mind in that instant was law enforcement. Jane would scoff at the idea of it, but she wasn't all that different from the two nurses I encountered tonight.
"Oh, I'm fine Nurse Tuckerman. Thank you."
"All right then. I'll be back in a little bit to check on our patient. Please try to get some rest, Doctor."
A few minutes later she was back with a pillow and a blanket in her hand and a small pitcher of ice water with a few glasses.
"I really brought the water for you, but if she wakes up and wants some, there's no reason she can't have any."
"Thank you, that's really kind of you."
I eagerly took the pillow and blanket from her and tried to find a comfortable position on the guest chair after she left. I put the blanket over Jane's jacket, unwilling to remove it despite the appearance of a warm, comfortable blanket. Soon I had drifted into a light sleep.
"Maura?" I was confused. Why was Jane in my bedroom? I reached over to snuggle her, but she wasn't there.
"Maur?" She sounded a little desperate. I opened my eyes and looked around, scared initially at the unfamiliar surroundings.
"Maur, are you awake?"
I looked over at Jane and realized where we were and why we were there.
"I'm sorry Jane, are you all right?" I jumped up from the chair.
"I feel stomach sick, and my head is pounding."
I pressed the nurse call button and sat Jane up, grabbing the kidney shaped bowl that Nurse Arnold had thoughtfully left earlier. I held it out, near Jane's mouth, and Nurse Tuckerman came in just as Jane emptied the remaining contents of her stomach into the bowl.
"All right Detective. All right." Nurse Tuckerman grabbed a pair of gloves and gingerly took the bowl from my hands. "Are you going to be okay long enough for me to get a new bowl, detective?" She asked quietly.
"Yeah. I think so. I have to go to the bathroom though."
Nurse Tuckerman looked at me and then at the bowl. "Would you mind walking her over to the bathroom? It's just at the end of the triage cubicles. I will get this cleaned up and ready for her by the time you get back. The IV pole has wheels, but don't let her lean on it for support."
I knew the nurse would never ask an ordinary layperson to do this, and it felt good to know she trusted me with her patient.
"Sure. Come on Jane. Can you stand up?"
"Yeah." Jane got up and stood on shaky legs. She put her arm across my shoulders and I wrapped an arm around her back. I grabbed my purse with my free hand and we hobbled to the bathroom, with Jane holding the IV pole in her other hand.
I walked her in and shut the door behind me. Jane just stood there.
"You're not going to stay in here with me, are you?"
"I have to, Jane. You could get dizzy and fall off the toilet, causing another injury."
Jane looked torn between her need to use the bathroom and her need for privacy.
"We all have the need to evacuate urine, Jane. It's not like I haven't done it myself before."
Jane blushed and pulled up the hospital gown, dismayed that she wasn't wearing underwear.
"Where are my underwear, Maura?!"
"In with your other clothes Jane."
"But-"
"But what, Jane? I didn't take them from you! Could you please just go to the bathroom already?"
Jane flounced down onto the toilet and I turned my back slightly. I was at enough of an angle to give her a semblance of privacy while still being close enough to catch her if she fell off the toilet seat. She finished up and I helped her to the sink to wash her hands. She was steadier on her feet now, but I didn't take my arm from around her waist.
I handed her some paper towels and watched her dry her hands.
"Are you still nauseous?" I asked.
"Not really, no. Well, a little, but not as bad as before. My head hurts though."
"Would you like to brush your teeth?" I asked.
"No, I wanna track down that Staunton guy and breathe on him first. Payback for his breath earlier. God, that was some horrific breath. You better check the hospital morgue, Maura. I think he may have been feasting on dead people." Jane retorted.
I laughed as I fished around in my purse, finding my toothbrush and a travel-size tube of toothpaste and handing it over to her.
"This is your toothbrush." Jane said.
"After this it will become your toothbrush." I replied.
"Yes but you've used it before." Jane tried to hand it back to me.
"Jane Clementine Rizzoli. I have slept on the same bed as you. I've held my bare hands over a gaping abdominal wound that spewed your blood all over me. I've forced you into a police uniform from a state of undress to get you to an awards ceremony. I've sat with you while you chatted seductively with your Internet Soldier Boyfriend on Skype in nothing more than a robe and a bra. Tonight alone I held your hair back and held an oddly-shaped bowl for you to vomit into, and I just stood here and watched you pee. I think you're going to be all right if you have to use my toothbrush just this once."
Jane grimaced, but took the tube of toothpaste and placed some onto the toothbrush. She didn't hesitate after that to brush her teeth.
"There. Doesn't that feel better now?" I asked sweetly, taking the toothbrush and the toothpaste back from her and washing my own hands.
"It does. I'm sorry, Maura."
"The only thing you have to be sorry about is that you're too hard-headed and prudish for your own good sometimes, Jane."
"I'm not a prude!" Jane stomped her foot and it must have sent a shockwave up into her head, because she reached for the back of her head before moaning. "Oh. Ow. My head really hurts. I don't think it's as hard as you think it is, Maura."
I dried my hands off quickly and wrapped my arm around her back. Instead of putting her arm over my shoulder for me to guide her out, she twisted and pulled me into a tight hug.
"I'm sorry about everything tonight. I'm sorry I made you cry. I'm sorry you're stuck here with me. I'm sorry you had to watch me puke and then watch me pee. I'm sorry I ruined your toothbrush."
I hugged her back tightly. "You don't have to be sorry, Jane. You're the only one in the world I would do all of this for. I'm lucky to have you in my life, so you'll need to forgive me if I get a little overprotective of you."
"No, I'm the lucky one, Maura."
I gave Jane another squeeze and then pulled away from her. "Let's get you back to bed, and the nurse can give you something for the nausea and the headache."
When we returned to the triage cubicle that was Jane's bedroom for the night, an aide was finishing up changing the linens.
"Oh god, did I puke all over the bed?" Jane asked, mortified.
"No, not at all, ma'am. I was just asked to change the linens because a patient had been sick, but I've seen way bigger messes." The aide replied as he finished up. "The nurse will be with you shortly" he said and exited.
Jane looked over to me pitifully. "I was very impressed, Jane. I don't know how you got it all into that tiny little bowl."
I walked over to her and placed her back into the bed, tucking the fresh sheet and blanket around her. She looked up at me and smiled weakly. She raised a hand up to cup my cheek. "You're so tired, Maura. You should go home and go to bed."
"I'm staying right here. In the morning I'll drive us both home and we can sleep all day if we want to."
"It must go against every fiber of your being to say the words "sleep all day", doesn't it Maura?" Jane grinned.
"In this case I can make an exception." I replied. Jane hadn't moved her hand from my cheek and the feelings she was stirring up inside of me surprised me.
I leaned over and kissed the top of her head, careful not to make her headache any worse.
"Lie down, Jane. The nurse will be here soon."
Jane sighed but curled up on the bed. I waited next to her until I heard Nurse Tuckerman come back in.
The doctor is going to up the dosage on your Dilauded and give you an antiemetic, Jane. That should take the pain away and stop the vomiting.
"Okay." Jane said after she looked at me and I nodded. It warmed my heart that she looked to me for confirmation of these things.
The nurse injected the two drugs into Jane's IV and I went back to the chair after I felt Jane drift off. I curled back up under Jane's jacket and the blanket, and fell into a deeper sleep than before.
At about 4:30am I heard someone in the cubicle with us and opened my eyes.
"It's just me, Doctor, and our patient is just fine. I'm updating her vitals, that's all. They'll send someone down from radiology in about an hour to take her up for another CT scan. They're going to do this one with contrast so I'm going to wake her soon and give her the contrast solution. Do you know if she's had any adverse reactions to contrast in the past?"
"No, she has had several contrast MRIs and CT scans in the past without incident."
"All right, good. I am going to try and get her up there before things get busy today. We'll try to get her out of here early this morning so you can both go home and rest."
"Thanks Nurse Tuckerman."
A little while later the nurse was back and she woke Jane up gently. Jane was not a happy camper.
"Jane, just drink the fluid and get it over with." I was tired too, and was having a hard time keeping the exasperation out of my voice.
"It's gross, Maura. You drink it."
"It tastes like cream soda, Jane. I don't know why you're not chugging it down."
"Because it's gross. If they had a beer flavored one I wouldn't be as grossed out by it."
"Well they don't, Jane. So drink it and get it over with. The sooner they get you up to radiology, the sooner we can go home."
Jane looked from me to the bottle of contrast solution and back to me again. Then she held her nose and started swallowing the liquid.
"That's very mature, Jane."
"Have you ever had this stuff before, Maura? It's GROSS."
"So you've said, Jane."
I watched as she drank the last of it and noted the time. The contrast needed at least 30 minutes to make its way through her system. When Nurse Tuckerman came back I let her know when Jane had finished the drink and she called up to radiology.
After the attendant took Jane up for her CT scan, I walked back down to the bathroom and freshened up. I looked like I hadn't slept in weeks (and felt nearly as tired), but at least I wasn't covered in hives anymore. I pulled my toothbrush and toothpaste out of my purse, as well as the travel size Listerine I kept in there. I splashed some of the mouthwash onto the toothbrush and then ran it under hot water. It wasn't the best method for sanitizing the toothbrush but it would have to do. I then brushed my teeth and combed my hair.
I walked back to the cubicle I had shared with Jane all night and gathered up our things. I folded the blanket and placed it on the chair and put the pillow on top of it. I picked up the bag of Jane's clothes and pulled them out, trying to straighten out some of the wrinkles. She wouldn't be in them very long, because I planned to put her to bed as soon as we got back to my house. I myself couldn't wait to get some sleep, and I hoped that either Jane would just sleep the day away or Angela would be around to help out while I tried to rest.
A little while later the attendant wheeled Jane back into the cubicle and let us know the doctor was reviewing the results of the CT scan and would be with us shortly.
I think Jane was silently thankful that Dr. Staunton wasn't on duty. The doctor that currently was on duty didn't bother to introduce himself. He came in, looked over Jane's chart, asked her for the level of her pain on a scale of one to ten, and said the CT came back clear and she was free to be discharged.
I looked over the chart myself, unwilling to take the word of someone so brusque, but it turned out that the second CT had found no evidence of a skull fracture and that Jane's concussion was rather minor. Relieved, I helped Jane get dressed and when I eased her suit jacket back around her shoulders she sniffed it.
"My jacket smells like you." Jane said quietly. "I like it."
"I wrapped it around me last night. I was worried about you, and it was... calming, having something of yours to wrap myself up in." I blushed as I said this, knowing it must sound strange.
Jane didn't think it sounded strange at all. "It's nice having this to wrap around me, then." She hugged it to herself and I couldn't help it. I got up and hugged her. "But see, having the real thing is much better."
I grinned at her and waited with her while she filled out her discharge paperwork.
When we were back in the car I used my hands free headset to call Lieutenant Cavanaugh. Barry Frost had updated him last night, and I was calling to tell him that Jane didn't have medical clearance to come back to work for another few days. I was taking her home and planned to stay home until Jane got her medical clearance back. He wished her well, and I hung up to Jane's doleful sigh.
"Jane, it could be worse. At this point without a skull fracture you'll be back at work by the end of next week. You won't be on desk duty for six weeks."
"Yeah but I still have to miss work. You know I hate that. We have cases that need solving."
"And you have Korsak and Frost to help with that while you're out."
Jane pouted next to me.
"Is it really so bad that you're going to spend the next week with me?" I asked.
"With you? Maura you have to work too."
"No I don't. I have more personal time and vacation time banked than just about anyone at the precinct. Except maybe for you." I grinned.
"Don't waste your vacation time on me, Maura."
"I'm not wasting it. And I can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend it with."
When Jane didn't respond, I looked over at her and she was smiling at me. "Thanks."
I squeezed her hand and we were mostly silent until we pulled up in my driveway. Angela must have been waiting for us in the house, because my front door flew open and she came running out.
"Oh my poor baby! What did they do to you? Are you all right?" She paused just long enough to look at me. "Is she all right, Maura?"
"She's fine, Angela. A mild concussion. No skull fracture like they initially thought. She needs lots of rest and peace and quiet." I said pointedly.
"Skull fracture? If I had known about that I would have come down there right away! How could you not tell me that there was a skull fracture, Maura?"
"Well, they suspected there was one but there wasn't. Her CT scan came back clear this morning. I know you're worried about Jane but she needs rest, and so do I. It's been a very long twenty-four hours."
Angela helped me walk Jane into my bedroom and put Jane into the yoga pants and t-shirt I had found for her. Jane objected, saying she could dress herself, but Angela wasn't having it. I gave Jane two of the painkillers the doctor had given us before we left the hospital, and eased Jane into the bed.
"I can sleep in the guest room, Maura."
"I have to watch you and make sure you're safe,Jane. I'd rather do that from the comfort of my own bed, so I can get some rest too."
"I really am okay, Maura." Jane said this gently, careful not to use the word "fine".
"I know you're okay. I just feel better doing it this way, all right?"
"All right." Jane said.
I tucked Jane in and walked Angela to the back door. "We just need some rest, Angela. I haven't gotten more than a few hours sleep in the last day. Jane needs rest too. We're going to sleep for a little while. I'll call you when we're both up and maybe we can order something in for dinner tonight.
"I'll take care of dinner. It'll give me something to do. Take care of my Janie, Maura."
"I will."
Angela hugged me and walked back over to the guest house.
I walked back into my bedroom and Jane was still awake.
"You should sleep, Jane. Knowing your mother this peace and quiet will be short-lived."
Jane smiled at me. "I'll sleep when you sleep."
"I need a shower first. I'll come to bed soon."
"I need a shower too. I smell like a hospital." Jane complained.
I sighed, knowing this wasn't going to be an argument I was going to win, so I didn't bother to start it. "All right, you can shower in my bathroom. But if you pass out, I'm going to have to see you naked."
"It's still better than watching me puke. Or pee." Jane responded.
I laughed and put a towel out for her in the bathroom. I don't think I relaxed at all until I heard her turn the water off and come back out in the yoga pants and t-shirt she wore going in.
I helped her back into bed and ran in to take a quick shower myself. It felt good to get the hospital smell off of me.
When I came back into the room in a simple pair of pajamas, I was surprised to see Jane was still awake.
"What's wrong, Jane? Do you have pain?"
"No, no I'm fine. Those painkillers work pretty well. I was just waiting for you."
"You shouldn't have. You need your sleep."
"So do you, but you waited up with me all night in the emergency room. I could wait for you to finish your shower."
I smiled at her as I got into the bed. I rolled over so I could face her. "That's what we do for each other Jane. I care about you. I would never leave you in the hospital by yourself."
"I know you care about me. But I think you don't realize that I care about you, too. Yesterday in the car..."
Jane started tearing up and I wiped her cheeks with my thumbs. "Jane, I'm sorry about what I said. I was overtired, I was upset by work, and I was really worried about you. I wasn't thinking clearly and I should have never called you selfish or uncaring."
"No, I need to apologize. I am an awful patient. And you're right, I always feel like I have to prove myself. I was selfish yesterday because I was being an ass and didn't think of how that might have affected you. I really do care about you, Maura."
"I know, Jane."
"I really am so lucky to have you in my life. I love you."
"I know. You told me last night when the Dilauded kicked in. Actually, you said you 'really, really love' me." I said with a grin.
Jane eyes looked downcast. "It wasn't the Dilauded. I meant what I said. I love you. I don't know what I would do without you. It wasn't the drugs talking. That came from the heart."
I didn't know what to say, and I think Jane sensed that, so she continued speaking for me. "This is the part where you tell me that you really, really love me too, Maura. Unless you don't, and I would't want you to get another batch of hives because of me again."
I smiled at her. "I really, really love you too, Jane, and I am so lucky to have you in my life." I pulled my t-shirt down slightly so she could see that I wasn't breaking out in hives, and Jane laughed.
Jane put her arm over my waist and moved a little closer, then whispered conspiratorially. "I used your toothbrush again. The one in your bathroom this time."
"Okay." I said, puzzled by the confession.
"I wanted to brush my teeth again because I didn't want to smell like Dr. Staunton when I did this."
"Did wha-" That's all I got out before Jane pulled me in and kissed me chastely on the lips. I didn't hesitate to kiss her back. The kiss was simple and sweet, but had undertones of so much more. I opened my mouth to say something to Jane when we stopped, but nothing came out.
"Before you think it's the painkillers talking, I just want you to know that it isn't. I am fully coherent. I am not in an 'altered mental state'." Jane's use of air quotes as she said "altered mental state" made me laugh.
"Well I'm glad you're not, though this does all feel like a dream to me."
"It's not. I think we've been circling around this for a long time, Maura. I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to be just your best friend anymore."
"What would you like to be?" I asked curiously.
"Hmm... I think the term love of your life would be good." She grinned at me.
I laughed and closed the gap between us again, kissing her before I responded. "I like that. I think that's the perfect title for you."
"You do?"
"I do. I can't imagine myself with anyone else."
"Is that why you referred to Casey as my Internet Soldier Boyfriend?"
I blushed. "Uh, yes. It's not that I don't like him. It's just that I don't like him kissing you. Or touching you. Or thinking he has a future with you in any capacity beyond a friend."
"Jealous much, Maura?"
"Moreso than I care to admit."
"So do you want to be my Real Life Medical Examiner Girlfriend?" Jane asked, her expression belying the facetiousness of her question.
"I would like that very much, though if you're going to be the love of my life, can't I be yours too?"
"I like that better, yes. Because even though I'd like to start slowly and work our way through this new phase in our relationship, you are already so much more than just a girlfriend to me."
I blushed again and wrapped my arms around Jane, marveling at how easy it was, and how right it felt.
"You're right Jane, we've been circling around this for a while. I'm sorry it took a blow to your head to make us see it."
"Me too. That really hurt!" Jane whined but smiled at me.
"I think we should both rest. I am so tired Jane. And now I'm afraid I'm going to wake up and none of this will be real."
"Then I'll remind you of it when you wake up. I'll remind you of it every day, Maura."
I kissed her lips again, and felt a tingle race through me when she touched me.
"I can't wait to feel better." Jane said. "I have so many things I want to do with you."
"I guess your head injury is going to force us to take things slowly, so it's good we'll be together all week. But we can start tonight by telling your mother. She's already making us dinner and you know we won't be able to keep a secret from her."
Jane groaned. "Now my head really hurts."
"I don't think she'll be surprised at all. And I don't think she'll be upset, either."
"You don't?" Jane asked.
"She already considers me part of the family, and last night on the phone, she said you were lucky to have me. She was the third person to say that to me yesterday. It must be true if people say that to us so often."
"I'm lucky to have you, Maura. And you're probably right about my mother. Just be prepared for all sorts of inappropriate questions about which one of us is going to have her grand babies."
I laughed and curled up against Jane, pulling her as close to me as I could.
"I really, really love you, Maura."
"I love you too, Jane. I'm lucky to have you."
And we drifted off to sleep, content to be in each other's arms.