Chapter 1 - First Snow of the Season
"Carter," Abby said entering the lounge. "Are you off now?"
He nodded as he removed his stethoscope from around his neck. "Yeah."
She nodded. "You want to get something to eat?"
He slammed the door shut. "I had a crappy day."
"Me too," she pleaded.
Carter looked at her. "Okay."
She smiled. He sat down at the table and tapped a low rhythm to the wood on the desk. She put on her winter attire and curled her hair behind her ears. Carter watched her do so. He didn't know why he was watching her. He mentally slapped his wrist and turned toward the window.
"What went wrong with your day, then?" she asked suddenly.
Carter edged back to reality, removing himself from his thoughts. She was still smoothing down her hair hopefully. She frowned at it and awaited his answer. He awoke, and answered her with a different voice. He hoped she wouldn't notice. "A mother came in. She fed her kids something. They all died. All four of them. All four of her kids." He looked down. "The police are questioning her. Poor woman, she's breaking down. It's not abuse, I could tell." He wasn't a cop. He couldn't tell anything. Ah, well.
"Sorry," she said. She smiled at him comfortingly. They caught one of their gazes, the kind that Carter looked like he enjoyed and disregarded at once. She turned to the mirror to fix her hair again. Since when did she care so much about her hair? Or was he just noticing it now?
"You look great," he said. Fine. Not great, fine. She did look great, but if he said that then she would think things. Things he didn't want her to think.
"Thanks," she said, wrinkling her nose. "So do you."
"Thanks," Carter said with a phony grin, quickly taking its place then vanishing from his face. "Since when do you care so much about your hair?"
"Since when do you care?" she fired, finally throwing her door shut. "And thanks."
He shrugged. "I'm just saying I've never seen you so critical."
"I've always been like that," she said. "You just never noticed. Let's go." She picked up her purse and started towards the door. Carter beat her there and opened the door for her. She was still looking through her purse for something as she walked out. "Thanks," she murmured. Carter rolled his eyes in disappointment.
They were out the ER doors when she reached for his hand. He didn't argue at her action, but felt obligated to question it. "What are you doing?"
"Hmm?" she asked, staring out into the wintry Chicago scenery. Her eyes glittered against the light sprinkle of snowflakes. It was the first snow of the season. He knew her attention would fly to that before it went to his previous inquiry.
"Oh, my God, it's snowing Carter!" Her face lit up with delight.
Ten points for me, Carter thought.
"Yeah," he said. He looked up at the sky. They were standing next to each other. Closely. Too close for Carter. He enjoyed it and everything, but it was close. Why did she always taunt him like this?
"Did you ever stick out your tongue to catch a snowflake when you were a kid?" Abby asked.
He looked at her oddly. She shrugged with a childish smile.
"No," he said. "That's disgusting. Do you know what's probably in them? That's the main cause of death." He smiled. "You know how many snowflake victims I've pronounced in all my years here?"
She giggled. He forgot about her hand holding his, but at all the same time kept it in his mind. Her fingers were wrapped tightly around his hand, squeezing it with excitement. The grip was enough to keep him happy. He didn't know whether to keep them there on the sidewalk forever or to initiate their trip to a restaurant. He decided to watch for her move.
She leaned in against his shoulder, still smiling up at the sky. What was she doing? Carter was almost shocked. Was this some kind of flirting? No, no. What was she doing? She was now fully against him, breathing with him. He didn't want to move, afraid of shaking her off. He instinctively gripped her hand tightly without noticing it, just to make her happy. He liked to see her smile. He knew how her pass had been. That's why it was always nice to see Abby smile. If she could, anyone could.
"What do you want to eat?" she asked, getting herself back onto the sidewalk. She was less then a foot away, still holding his hand. He wanted her near him. Nearer, he should say.
"You wanna get it to go, or order it or something?" He looked over his shoulder to avoid her eyes. He imagined them looking at his face, sparkling with the magic embers in her eyes. He wasn't asking her out. Technically, he was. He had to stop thinking so much. Even his brain was telling him to shut up and kiss her.
Kiss her? But why? He thought of it. Did he want to kiss her? No, because it's just Abby, the girl that you've been crazy about for how long. He didn't know he wanted to kiss her, though. Why was he even bringing it up? What was wrong with him?
She's your best friend, he told himself.
"Okay," she said.
And he still wasn't asking her out. "Cool. Get it to go or just head back to my place and eat it there?"
"Why not my place?" she asked.
Carter shrugged. "Whatever. I just want the dinner, really."
She giggled and leaned into his shoulder again. He didn't know why she was doing this to him. He wanted to hug her back and scream at her for teasing him at the same time. Obviously, she didn't mean anything by it. Then what was it? Friends don't do that. Couples do that. People that are married do that. Parents do that, but not friends. Right?
"Carter," she said with a smile. "Cross the street. Do you want me to hold your hand?" she joked.
Go ahead, he thought.
They walked together across the street filled with vehicles. People were getting off work now. Everyone was going home. After dinner, he would have to go home with himself, all-alone. Technically, he had Gamma. And maids, butlers, cooks, and blah, blah, blah. But he was still alone. And he hated that.
He knew he was the kind of person who needed someone to depend on like that. Without that extra pillar, he could crumble. His friendship with Abby was stronger than almost any relationship he had ever had. Except for some of the ones with the sex, because Abby and Carter never had that.
Not that he regretted it, or anything. His friendship with Abby was the most important thing in the world to him, alongside Gamma. If it ever did turn into something more, well then that happened. He stuttered in his own head. He was too unsure to complete his thought.
"You can come in, you know," she said. They already had reached her apartment. It was clean, remarkably. He stepped inside. The entire room smelled like she did. Something like vanilla. But people don't smell like vanilla, he said to himself.
He put his coat on the chair, like he had grown accustomed to in a while. She threw hers on top of hers and walked to the bathroom.
"I'll be right back," she called, shutting the door.
Carter took this time to consider his thoughts. What was he doing? He was going for his best friend? He was attracted to her.
There he said it. But why did it have to be that way? He wanted to be with her now. He had to be. But he couldn't. It was kind of the way things were between them. The now or never thing. Still, they always found chances here and there. Today was his chance. That was a stupid line. He wouldn't go for her. Not now, not ever. It was stupid. Why would he? To ruin himself or to ruin their friendship?
"Carter," she cried from the bathroom. "Will you come here?"
He brought himself back to the vanilla of the room. Suck it up, Carter.
No, he replied to himself. Something was wrong with him. It couldn't be love though.
I know, it's a little stupid. Don't make fun of me, please! ;) I appreciate reviews. Be gentle, this is my first fic on ff.net. I promise that it won't be completely generic.
-me
"Carter," Abby said entering the lounge. "Are you off now?"
He nodded as he removed his stethoscope from around his neck. "Yeah."
She nodded. "You want to get something to eat?"
He slammed the door shut. "I had a crappy day."
"Me too," she pleaded.
Carter looked at her. "Okay."
She smiled. He sat down at the table and tapped a low rhythm to the wood on the desk. She put on her winter attire and curled her hair behind her ears. Carter watched her do so. He didn't know why he was watching her. He mentally slapped his wrist and turned toward the window.
"What went wrong with your day, then?" she asked suddenly.
Carter edged back to reality, removing himself from his thoughts. She was still smoothing down her hair hopefully. She frowned at it and awaited his answer. He awoke, and answered her with a different voice. He hoped she wouldn't notice. "A mother came in. She fed her kids something. They all died. All four of them. All four of her kids." He looked down. "The police are questioning her. Poor woman, she's breaking down. It's not abuse, I could tell." He wasn't a cop. He couldn't tell anything. Ah, well.
"Sorry," she said. She smiled at him comfortingly. They caught one of their gazes, the kind that Carter looked like he enjoyed and disregarded at once. She turned to the mirror to fix her hair again. Since when did she care so much about her hair? Or was he just noticing it now?
"You look great," he said. Fine. Not great, fine. She did look great, but if he said that then she would think things. Things he didn't want her to think.
"Thanks," she said, wrinkling her nose. "So do you."
"Thanks," Carter said with a phony grin, quickly taking its place then vanishing from his face. "Since when do you care so much about your hair?"
"Since when do you care?" she fired, finally throwing her door shut. "And thanks."
He shrugged. "I'm just saying I've never seen you so critical."
"I've always been like that," she said. "You just never noticed. Let's go." She picked up her purse and started towards the door. Carter beat her there and opened the door for her. She was still looking through her purse for something as she walked out. "Thanks," she murmured. Carter rolled his eyes in disappointment.
They were out the ER doors when she reached for his hand. He didn't argue at her action, but felt obligated to question it. "What are you doing?"
"Hmm?" she asked, staring out into the wintry Chicago scenery. Her eyes glittered against the light sprinkle of snowflakes. It was the first snow of the season. He knew her attention would fly to that before it went to his previous inquiry.
"Oh, my God, it's snowing Carter!" Her face lit up with delight.
Ten points for me, Carter thought.
"Yeah," he said. He looked up at the sky. They were standing next to each other. Closely. Too close for Carter. He enjoyed it and everything, but it was close. Why did she always taunt him like this?
"Did you ever stick out your tongue to catch a snowflake when you were a kid?" Abby asked.
He looked at her oddly. She shrugged with a childish smile.
"No," he said. "That's disgusting. Do you know what's probably in them? That's the main cause of death." He smiled. "You know how many snowflake victims I've pronounced in all my years here?"
She giggled. He forgot about her hand holding his, but at all the same time kept it in his mind. Her fingers were wrapped tightly around his hand, squeezing it with excitement. The grip was enough to keep him happy. He didn't know whether to keep them there on the sidewalk forever or to initiate their trip to a restaurant. He decided to watch for her move.
She leaned in against his shoulder, still smiling up at the sky. What was she doing? Carter was almost shocked. Was this some kind of flirting? No, no. What was she doing? She was now fully against him, breathing with him. He didn't want to move, afraid of shaking her off. He instinctively gripped her hand tightly without noticing it, just to make her happy. He liked to see her smile. He knew how her pass had been. That's why it was always nice to see Abby smile. If she could, anyone could.
"What do you want to eat?" she asked, getting herself back onto the sidewalk. She was less then a foot away, still holding his hand. He wanted her near him. Nearer, he should say.
"You wanna get it to go, or order it or something?" He looked over his shoulder to avoid her eyes. He imagined them looking at his face, sparkling with the magic embers in her eyes. He wasn't asking her out. Technically, he was. He had to stop thinking so much. Even his brain was telling him to shut up and kiss her.
Kiss her? But why? He thought of it. Did he want to kiss her? No, because it's just Abby, the girl that you've been crazy about for how long. He didn't know he wanted to kiss her, though. Why was he even bringing it up? What was wrong with him?
She's your best friend, he told himself.
"Okay," she said.
And he still wasn't asking her out. "Cool. Get it to go or just head back to my place and eat it there?"
"Why not my place?" she asked.
Carter shrugged. "Whatever. I just want the dinner, really."
She giggled and leaned into his shoulder again. He didn't know why she was doing this to him. He wanted to hug her back and scream at her for teasing him at the same time. Obviously, she didn't mean anything by it. Then what was it? Friends don't do that. Couples do that. People that are married do that. Parents do that, but not friends. Right?
"Carter," she said with a smile. "Cross the street. Do you want me to hold your hand?" she joked.
Go ahead, he thought.
They walked together across the street filled with vehicles. People were getting off work now. Everyone was going home. After dinner, he would have to go home with himself, all-alone. Technically, he had Gamma. And maids, butlers, cooks, and blah, blah, blah. But he was still alone. And he hated that.
He knew he was the kind of person who needed someone to depend on like that. Without that extra pillar, he could crumble. His friendship with Abby was stronger than almost any relationship he had ever had. Except for some of the ones with the sex, because Abby and Carter never had that.
Not that he regretted it, or anything. His friendship with Abby was the most important thing in the world to him, alongside Gamma. If it ever did turn into something more, well then that happened. He stuttered in his own head. He was too unsure to complete his thought.
"You can come in, you know," she said. They already had reached her apartment. It was clean, remarkably. He stepped inside. The entire room smelled like she did. Something like vanilla. But people don't smell like vanilla, he said to himself.
He put his coat on the chair, like he had grown accustomed to in a while. She threw hers on top of hers and walked to the bathroom.
"I'll be right back," she called, shutting the door.
Carter took this time to consider his thoughts. What was he doing? He was going for his best friend? He was attracted to her.
There he said it. But why did it have to be that way? He wanted to be with her now. He had to be. But he couldn't. It was kind of the way things were between them. The now or never thing. Still, they always found chances here and there. Today was his chance. That was a stupid line. He wouldn't go for her. Not now, not ever. It was stupid. Why would he? To ruin himself or to ruin their friendship?
"Carter," she cried from the bathroom. "Will you come here?"
He brought himself back to the vanilla of the room. Suck it up, Carter.
No, he replied to himself. Something was wrong with him. It couldn't be love though.
I know, it's a little stupid. Don't make fun of me, please! ;) I appreciate reviews. Be gentle, this is my first fic on ff.net. I promise that it won't be completely generic.
-me