Title: Two Small Deaths
Genre: Romance, Angst
Rating: T
Summary: I remember hisses and the cold- the bone chilling cold that struck you to the very core of your being. And there were voices. Soft whispers, enticing, persuasive words, laced with deadly venom. Rated T, Spoilers for the end of Mark of Athena. ONE-SHOT.
AN: Short one-shot. Includes Mark of Athena spoilers. Please do not read if you do not want to be spoiled for the cliffhanger (literally) Rick Riordan (once again!) left us with.

I'm saving up all my strength

for when I finally fail

at keeping you safe

-Two Small Deaths, Wye Oak

The dark abyss, falling for what felt like eternity, and finally, finally, freezing, the fall stopping, my breath slowing, his hand clamped tightly in mine. "It'll be alright," Percy had whispered, and I'd nodded numbly, both of us knowing that it wasn't going to be alright. We were alone, in a realm deeper than the underworld, too far for the gods to protect us, too deep for us to be rescued. We were isolated, and completely alone.

I remember hisses and the cold- the bone chilling cold that struck you to the very core of your being. And there were voices. Soft whispers, enticing, persuasive words, laced with deadly venom. Come, child of Athena. Would it not be pleasing for it to end? For your heart to stop beating, for your godly blood to stop rushing through your veins, for your lungs to stop breathing? And I saw the appeal. The voices would stop, the tortured screams coming from nowhere, yet everywhere, would cease to make sound, and maybe, maybe there would be peace. And I knew if I wanted to, all I had to do was walk out. Walk out of Percy's protective arm that had been glued to my waist ever since we had fallen in. It would have been an easy escape. An escape from this pit of pure, unadulterated hell.

"Come on," Percy had whispered, pulling me up. Everything around us was dark. Percy had picked Riptide out of his pocket, and I watched it, as if in a trance, as it elongated, and my own hand had found it's way to the dagger clipped to my waist. I had looked around cautiously, taking in the dark surroundings. Out of the cave opening, I could see chaos. Tartarus was like a never ending war. A war lasting for thousands and thousands of years, from the dawn of humanity, with everything terrible and horrific about our world- both the mortal realm and the ancient world realm- laid out centre field. There were massive monsters, some that I had not even read about, or even heard about.

I remember Percy had muttered a curse under his breath, as we both had examined the field in front of us, the red hazy sky, the collapsing ruins, and the crackling orange fires burning with such a powerful intensity, I could feel it from the cave we had been in, even though it seemed to be miles away.

"Hey- it's gonna be okay. We're going to get out alive. A few monsters won't stop us from getting out, right?" he had said, tilting my chin up with his hand. I had nodded, giving him a smile.

It's been four years. Four years, and it keeps running through my mind, haunting my dreams, tainting my memories. The slight, hopeful expression that had graced his face as we crossed the bridge. We were almost out. Almost. I remember seeing Nico, his slight figure in the distance, racing towards us, his sword clasped firmly in his hand, slashing mindlessly at monsters as he ran. I know what it must have taken for him to come back, to even think of stepping back into this hell. "Hurry!" he had shouted, "We can't protect the entrance for too long!"

And so Percy and I had sped up, his hand clasped firmly in mine, and he was pulling me faster and faster, I hadn't ever run that fast, and I knew at this moment, this was what running for your life felt like. It was a rush of adrenaline, my senses had been hyperactive- more so than usual- and the pain in my chest from running was numbed down.

And then there was a flash of light, brightening up the darkness for a millisecond, and a monster appeared in front of us, something so dark, so menacing, that I still can't explain what it was. It was morphing and changing shapes every few seconds, back and forth between some of the most fearsome monsters I had ever laid eyes on.

Percy and I stopped dead in our tracks, and lifted our weapons. At first, I thought it would attack me, and he had pushed me behind him, but Percy's scent had been stronger as a son of the big three, and then it attacked. He'd raised his sword, fighting back, and I slipped behind the monster, attempting to attack the monster from behind, anything to distract it as much as possible. And then the monster's attention turned towards me, and I let out a sigh of relief. Just as I raised my knife to strike again, Percy had appeared, pushing me out of the way, yelling for me to run. I shook my head vehemently, before standing up next to him. And it happened in a blink of an eye. There was a flash as the monster struck down, and it's claws had sunk into Percy. His eyes seemed to widen in shock, before he fell to the hard rocky ground.

A choked sound had escaped my throat and I froze. Nico came closer, attacking the monster, and I sunk down next to him, clutching his hands in my own.

"No- n- no, Percy, Perc- please," I had said, as if my words could heal him. "Come on, if you can walk, we- we can- we can get you somewhere, I'm sure the gods will heal you," I had said, my voice breaking, trying to hold back the tears. He had smiled weakly, a far-away look in his eyes.

"Hey, Wise Girl- didn't get a chance to say this. But I love you too," he had said shallowly, fighting for a breath.

"No- no, you don't get to say that. You don't need to. You're- you'll be all right. I-I can do something," I had said, tears streaking down my face. But I hadn't been able to do anything. I had pulled squares of ambrosia and the last remaining of our canteen of nectar out of my backpack, attempting to pour some of the nectar into his mouth. I cupped his face in my hands, pouring the last bit of nectar into his mouth. It hadn't helped.

"We had a good run, eh?" he said, a grim half smile on his face.

"No, no please. Please, Percy, Percy- don't. Don't do this to me," I had said, my voice breaking with tears.

"I'm sorry," he said, just before his eyes had slowly drifted shut, and I had pressed my head down to his chest, listening for a faint heartbeat. But there was nothing. I sat there for what felt like an eternity, not even noticing Nico had gotten rid of the monster, and was now crouched next to me, his face just as stricken as mine.

"Come on, we've got to go," Nico had told me. I stood up numbly, and between the two of us, we carried him out.

After his death - the unforseeable death. How could anyone have thought the son of Poseidon, the one who saved all of Olympus and the world, the one who survived the River of Styx, for the gods' sake, could die? - there had been hurricanes and tsunamis raging across the planet, which none of the mortals could explain. I remember visiting Olympus right after I had escaped Tartarus, Percy's lifeless body held between Nico and I, and we laid him down in the centre. Poseidon had looked angry - so, so angry. There'd been a storm brewing in his eyes, eyes so green that they reminded me of Percy's own. His trident was gripped so tightly in his hands that I could see the whites of his knuckles.

Hades had assured me that he would be granted a fast track to Elysium, and even Zeus had looked solemn, despite his lack of care for Percy. Athena had looked at me, almost pityingly. I couldn't bear to meet her stormy grey eyes.

And then I saw her. I saw Hera, sitting on her throne next to Zeus, her face void of emotion, and a look of boredom in her eyes, and a storm of fury brewed inside me. My vision clouded over with angry tears, my throat closed up. "This," I had whispered, "this is your fault," I said, my voice shaking with anger. Hera had raised her eyebrows, and stood up, a bright glow emanating from her figure before Zeus had gently pushed her back into her throne. I had walked out of the throne room and the Empire State Building in a quiet fury, a throbbing pain in my chest.

If it hadn't been for her- her ridiculous, childish, ploy- Percy would have still been here. If she hadn't switched Jason and Percy, this would have never happened. We would have been back at camp, training. Spending days by the beach, and maybe we'd have gone underwater in his protective air bubble. I used to hate them, but now? Now I would give anything to have one peaceful and quiet moment that his underwater bubbles had provided us. It'd have just been the two of us. Laughing, talking, kissing, just being together. I hadn't realised it, but we'd unintentionally began planning our lives around each other. I'd begun looking at colleges in New York- maybe Columbia. I'd seen a few newspaper clip outs he had of apartments for rent thrown haphazardly onto his messy desk in his mom's apartment when we had gone to visit Sally over the weekend in the summer one day.

I remember telling Sally. I remember seating her down on the couch, telling her that her son was dead. I remember her stricken face, the way Paul's face had slackened, and the way her voice had shook with a tremor when she asked how. I remembered having to explain to his mother how he had died. And I remember the way she had pulled me in with a hug, her body shaking with quiet sobs.

I have the same nightmare every night, and I wake up with sweat beading my forehead in my empty apartment, and for a second, I think that maybe if I turn around, I'll see Percy lying in bed next to me, sleeping, with his dark hair aggravatingly messy as usual, and his limbs sprawled around, hogging the entire blanket. Maybe, just maybe, if I shut my eyes tightly enough, so tightly that tears leak out the edges, so that I see bright flashes of colour, that maybe he'll materialize with that same stupid smile, with his bright green eyes sparkling with his constant, infectious excitement. But he's not there. And he never will be. I think that's the part that kills me the most. I had lost the one person I had let in, had loved, and had trusted entirely with my heart, and now he was gone. I wouldn't get to spend another day with him at the beach, or walking around New York. I wouldn't get to spend another weekend with him back at Sally's apartment, spending the day baking and lazing around. I couldn't ever have any of that ever again, because he was gone.

When I started this one-shot, it wasn't my intention for Percy to die... but I felt like writing angst? I guess. Hah.

Anyways, please please review with your thoughts! I don't care if it's one word or one thousand words :) Seeing a little [New Review] in my email always brightens up my day :)

-Amy

EDIT: I've gotten a couple questions asking as to whether Annabeth dies as well, because of the title of this fan fic. I didn't really think of that aspect, I mean... obviously she will die at some point? But the title is just Two Small Deaths because this is the song I had on constant repeat while writing this :) Plus the little lyrics excerpt bit in the beginning. Because I do think if Percy died, Annabeth would, to some extent, blame herself for failing to protect him, as Percy would if the situation was reversed.