I don't own Supernatural.

It started off innocent. Nothing major. A nuzzle here a sniff there, but it soon escalated into something more. Castiel had been heartbroken, but also overjoyed when Dean found him crouched by the river in purgatory. He had left to protect Dean, but he missed the human more than he thought. The awkward hug that he received set in motion feelings that would not subside. Every night Benny would leave the camp for an hour to check the surrounding perimeter, while Dean slept and Castiel watched over him. Dean was having serious trouble sleeping so Castiel often touched his forehead to force Dean into the much needed sleep. The first few nights Castiel was content to just sit across from Dean and just watch him sleep. A few nights after that he started sitting right next to him, then he would lie beside him to help keep him warm. Eventually he could not help himself. He would run his fingers through Dean's soft brown hair. He would nuzzle his neck and take in Dean's rugged musky scent. He realized it was getting out of control when Dean moaned in his sleep after Castiel had snaked his hand under Dean's shirt and was caressing his chest. Castiel jerked back afraid he would be caught, but he soon realized that the simple touch he gave to Dean's forehead every night gave him one hour of an unconscious un-wakeable Dean.

Castiel struggled everyday with these feelings. He knew it was wrong to touch someone against their will, but he felt empty and cold when he wasn't in physical contact with Dean. He was able to resist for two nights, but the emptiness prevented him from staying away. That's when things escalated. He did not fully understand his desire to be with Dean. All he knew was that when he was with him he felt so happy. He started kissing Dean full on the lips; his hands would travel under Dean's shirt trying to feel every centimeter of his large muscular chest. He wanted to know Dean's entire body. He simply just wanted to be with him. He was careful not to leave marks on Dean for he was afraid Dean would be sickened by the angel's nightly advances. When he kissed Dean's lips or chest he made sure to have a handle on his strength so he wouldn't leave bruises or any sight of tenderness. He was an angel of the Lord so reigning in his strength when he was feeling such passion was very difficult. One night he finally worked up the courage to unzip Dean's pants. He slipped a hand down Dean's chest and into his boxer and was elated when Dean started to moan with pleasure. He could feel Dean harden in his hand, and he felt a similar pressure rise in his own pants. Straddling the human Castiel began to slowly grind against Dean's hardness. He felt confined by the fabrics that separated them, Dean's boxers and his own pants. He slipped Dean free from the confines of his boxers and slowly began to pump up and down on his member. Dean began to writhe with pleasure underneath him. He kept pumping until Dean let out a final moan and came in Castiel's hand. Quickly Cas cleaned up any evidence of what had happened and redressed Dean. He panicked for a second because he did not know how to take care of his own throbbing member. Finally he began to pump himself, breathing out Dean's name until cum coated his hand.

Castiel did not know what to feel. He felt dirty for what he just did, but at the same time the look on Dean's face during ecstasy was enough to turn Castiel so hard he could do it all over again. This same regime continued night after night. He was almost caught by Benny once when Benny came back from his round a few minutes early. Castiel considered stopping, but the next night he found himself once again straddling Dean rubbing so hard against the human Castiel thought he would burst. Even with these wonderful feelings of ecstasy, guilt was always lingering in Castiel's mind. He was taking advantage of his best friend and using his body against his will. He was afraid Dean had found out because the human started putting a distance between them during the day, and Castiel often felt Dean staring at him when he thought Castiel wasn't watching. At that moment he realized he would not leave purgatory when they found the portal. If he left purgatory with Dean he would be unable to face him every day without being able to touch him every night. Castiel was a fallen angel and did not deserve to touch someone so pure. A few days before they would find the portal Castiel returned to just nuzzling and softly caressing. He wanted to tell Dean how he felt, but he knew the human would be disgusted and horrified. Dean had just forgiven him for breaking Sam's head; Dean would never be able to forgive him for violating him every night. When they found the portal Castiel ran and fought off the leviathans with Dean, but he knew that he could not go with him. As he held onto Dean for the last time he thought about going with him. He loved Dean and could not stand the thought of being separated from him, but he shook off the thought as he shook off Dean's hand and yelled, "Go!"