Title: Whisper in your ear

Summary: Alfred decides to try and woo Arthur by singing him the most 'romantic' song of all time. USUK songfic/crack.

Pairing: America x England

Warnings: Minor sexual references and complete crack.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, or the song 'Whisper' by 'Ying Yang Twins' if you don't know this song then I highly suggest looking it up because its hilarious.

Arthur stood in the kitchen, attempting to make lunch for himself and his lover when he felt a strong pair of arms wrap around his waist; Alfred. "Oh, hello love." He smiled as he continued to cook.

"Hey how you doin lil mama? lemme whisper in your ear." Alfred whispered softly into the brit's ear, making sure to lightly tickle the other man's neck.

The Brit froze, not at all expecting that to come out of Alfred's mouth. "Excuse you?"

"Tell you something that you might like to hear, you got a sexy ass body and your ass look soft." The American smirked from behind Arthur as he lightly nipped at the other's skin.

Arthur moved away from Alfred's hold. "What on earth are you doing?"

The American ignored Arthur's complaint, "Mind if i touch it? and see if its soft?" He raised his eyebrows and without warning, groped the brit's bum.

He scowled, "This is not appropriate behavior for right before lunch!" He shook his head at Alfred, annoyed, disgusted and intrigued at the same time.

"Hey I'm known to be a real nasty man!" He winked and started to grind up against Arthur's backside, trapping the other male against the wall without realizing. "And they say a closed mouth dont get fed, so I don't mind asking for head."

The Brit sighed. This ghastly song made little to no sense to him, and he was becoming slightly furious. "Alfred." He gritted his teeth. The younger male had overdone it.

"You heard what I said, we need to make our way to the bed~" Alfred lightly kissed Arthur's neck, right in the spot he knew would make the brit melt.

Arthur rolled his eyes, "For the love of-" He was cut off as Alfred cupped a warm hand over his crotch. "Just STOP."

"And you can start using your head. You like to fuck, have your legs open all in da butt." The American grinned widely as he sang, thinking that his idea was working perfectly.

"W-What..." Arthur blushed at the crude and vulgar words that were escaping Alfred's lips. He wasn't sure what to think anymore.

"Do it up slappin ass cuz the sex gets rough." He slapped his hand against Arthur's butt and held it there for a moment. "Switch the positions and ready to get down to business."

Arthur growled lowly. "Can you please get away from me? This isn't pleasant at all..." He felt as if he was being molested by some white trash thug.

"So you can see what you've been missing." Alfred hummed, continuing to grind against Arthur's butt, this time moving faster.

The brit then managed to turn around so that he was facing Alfred. Now all he had to do was get the American imbecile away from him. "Please! Just stop!" He was slowly reaching his breaking point.

"You might had some but you never had none like this..." Alfred's face broke out into a smirk that was obviously trying to conceal laughter. "Just wait til you see my dick."

"No." Arthur narrowed his eyes, watching in horror as Alfred started to grind him from the front, rubbing his vital regions over Arthur's own. "Stop. Alfred. now." He shoved Alfred, but the man hardly budged. It was as if his feet were stuck to the ground. "Bloody hell..."

"Ay bitch! wait til you see my dick!" He did the famous crotch-grabbing dance move that had nothing to do with the song. "Wait til you see my dick!"

Arthur was done. He was disgusted and pissed off now. "Al... Please just-"

"BEAT DA PUSSY UP!" Alfred literally yelled, ending his soft speaking volume. His expression changed from mock seriousness to one of joy.

*SMACK*

AN: This is what happens when I start daydreaming during PE.. This song goes awesomely with USUK if you ask me.

I have no idea why I felt the need to write this, but I really hope you enjoyed it otherwise.

Reviews and feedback are loved.