Chapter One

"All I want is nothing more, than to hear you knocking at my door."

2012

August 16th

Elena woke that morning feeling the same way she did every morning. She felt the dull, crushing sense of emptiness overcome her once again. She tried to lie there in the quiet, keeping her eyes closed for as long as possible. She knew that when she opened her eyes the other side of the bed would be cold and unslept in the way it had been for years now. Still, she let himself lie there for a few moments before the day began and she had to battle through the same way she always did. She just lay there, praying when she opened her eyes he would be there.

But he wasn't and he never would be again. It had taken months for her to accept the fact that he would never return to her and even longer before the thought stopped crippling her with pain. She shifted slightly, feeling the cold metal of the silver dog tag she always wore against her skin. Once again her eyes opened to an empty room and once again it took all her willpower to get up and face the day. She slid out of bed wearily and wandered lazily to the bathroom, splashing water on her face to wake her up before having a shower quickly. She pulled on her clothes and padded through the wooden floored hallways.

She crept into the dark bedroom and peeled back to dark blue and green checked duvet.

"I know you're awake." She told the wriggling mass of blankets.

A childlike giggle erupted from the bed as small hands peeled back the colorful cave surrounding the young child.

"Momma!" the child giggled. "How did you know?"

Elena laughed and grabbed the covers off her son and climbed into his bed with him. "You're always awake, Ben." She kissed her son's head. "Happy birthday, baby."

Ben grinned widely and hugged his mom fiercely. "Since it's my birthday you shouldn't make me go to school." He said, with all his five years worth of logic.

Elena chuckled and lifted Ben out of bed. "But you're all grown up now aren't you? So you go to school and when you get back you get all your presents. Deal?" she asked him, crouching down in front of him. "If you're lucky auntie Care will come round and take you to school."

Ben pouted. "Why can't uncle Ty take me?"

Elena rummaged around in his drawers for some clothes as she spoke. "Uncle Ty comes with auntie Care, silly." She chucked his clothes at him. "Catch!"

Ben laughing in all his childlike innocence didn't help the aching longing she felt when she looked at him. "Can I have ice cream for breakfast?" Ben asked suddenly, in the tone he used when he knew he was getting what he wanted.

Elena laughed and knelt down to pull his t-shirt over his head. "You can have anything breakfasty." She told him, tapping him on the head. "Go on, I'll be down in a minute."

Ben scrambled off downstairs and with him, her sense of wholeness disappeared. She wandered involuntarily back into her bedroom and glanced at the picture on the nightstand. She closed her eyes for a moment, reliving the day as if it was yesterday.

She opened her eyes again, snapping back to reality. The doorbell ringing shrilly and Ben's excited squeal had her grinning as she wandered into the hallway where Ben was bouncing up and down excitedly. "Mom! It's auntie Care!"

Elena laughed as she opened the door. Typically, the blonde ignored her completely and scooped her dark haired godson into her arms. "Happy birthday Benny!" she squealed, ruffling his jet-black hair. "What your momma get you, eh?"

Ben scowled as he unwound his small arms from Caroline's neck. "Momma didn't let me open anything yet! And she won't let me stay off school!" he moaned, pouting. "Boo!"

"Boo!" Caroline echoed, setting Ben down at her feet. "Don't worry, I'll talk to her for ya." Caroline winked and stepped over the small boy to embrace her friend who was making Ben's breakfast. "How are you?" she whispered quietly in her friend's ear. "I know it's still hard around his birthday."

Elena shrugged. "You ask me every day and every day I tell you: I'm dealing."

Tyler stomping clumsily through the house cut their conversation short. "Benny!" he yelled, lifting his up and tossing him in the air. "How you doing, kid?"

"Momma won't let me stay off school." Ben pouted.

Tyler shrugged and placed the young boy on his shoulders. "Just pull a sickie."

"Tyler!" Elena yelled half amused half annoyed. "Don't encourage him. He's done it twice already." She grumbled, setting a plate of toast on the kitchen counter.

"You gotta fake it at home too, Ben!" Tyler told him seriously, while Caroline chortled with laughter. He lifted him up and dumped him on a kitchen school. "Eat. I'm taking you to school today."

Ben cheered loudly through a mouthful of toast. "Can we get ice cream?"

"Course we can kiddo. You gotta be fast though." Tyler replied immediately. Much like Caroline, Tyler was quick to give in to his every demand.

Ben demolished his breakfast and charged upstairs to clean his teeth. He was back downstairs, bag ready, in record time.

"You finish your homework, baby?" Elena asked, kneeling down to wipe toothpaste off her son's mouth.

Ben rolled his eyes. "Yep." He hugged his mother's neck fiercely. "Bye momma."

Elena kissed his cheek. "Bye Ben. I better not get another letter home from school this week!" she called as the two boys ran out of the house to Tyler's car.

"Letters from school?" Caroline asked smirking.

Elena sighed. "Couldn't have been more condescending. Apparently our Benny is quite the little ladies man."

"Well he would be." Caroline said laughing. "What's wrong with that?"

"He's five Car'." Elena pointed out reasonably.

"He's just like Damon was." Caroline said softly, staring at the picture of him on his first day of school.

Elena smiled sadly. "You know what he told me yesterday? That he wants to be a soldier when he grows up." Caroline's gaze softened. "And I keep telling myself it's because of all the stories my Dad tells him but…"

"But you know it's not." Caroline finished for her.

"Right before his birthday too. That's when I got the letter. Just before I went into labour."

Caroline wrapped her arms tightly around her best friend. "You'll be okay. It's hard; it'll always be hard. But you're dealing and that's all that matters."

Elena hugged Caroline fiercely. "He keeps asking me questions about who his Daddy is. All his friends go into school on Monday and tell him all about their weekends. They play football, they go to the cinema." Elena blinked away tears that were threatening. "I hate it, Care." She snapped violently, pulling away from the blonde. "I hate that he can't just have a Daddy."

"It's not your fault 'Lena. It's not Ben's fault and it certainly wasn't Damon's." Caroline said soothingly. Every year without fail, on Ben's birthday, was the one-day Elena allowed herself to break down and really miss Damon. After all, that was the day she got the answers she had been begging for for nine months.

2007

August 16th

Elena stretched and sat up, her heavily pregnant belly straining against her t-shirt.

"I hate being fat." She grumbled to Caroline, who had loyally spent the majority of the last year in Elena's house.

"You're pregnant, 'Lena, Go back to sleep." Caroline said sleepily.

Elena shook her head although Caroline couldn't see her. "I'm awake now." She told her sleepy friend. "And I've got to check the post." She waddled out of the bedroom and made her way cautiously down the stairs the way she did every morning,

Caroline sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes blearily, feeling a jolt of pain for her best friend. Damon had been deployed into the heart of battle only weeks before Elena found out she was pregnant, and with the circumstances of his tour, she had no way of letting him know the news. She rolled out of bed and wandered sleepily into the hallway.

Elena silently held out a sealed enveloped. Caroline took it, slowly flipping it over to see the sender.

United States Military.

Her breath caught in her throat as she handed the envelope back.

"Why didn't you open it?" she asked quietly. "It might be his vacation schedule."

Elena smiled weakly and she stared at the envelope in her hands. "I'm scared."

Caroline sat down in the hallway floor next to Elena in silence. "I can do it if you like."

Elena shook her head, turning the envelope over in her hands and running her finger under the seal.

Time seemed to slow down as Caroline watched, terrified of what that innocent sheet of paper might hold. As Elena unfolded it and her eyes scanned over the first few lines, Caroline thought she might crack and rip the letter from her hands.

Elena dropped the letter to the floor and stood up shakily, tears trailing silently down her face and she held tightly onto the cold metal tags hung permanently around her neck. Caroline slowly lifted the letter from the floor and didn't need to read more that the first sentence. Tears too leaked down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around her best friend who was growing more and more hysterical as the seconds slid by.

"Damon." She choked out, sobbing into her best friends arms. "No. No!" she sobbed.

Caroline rocked the brunette in her arms, muttering soothing words as her tears soaking Elena's hair. "Shh." She soothed. "It's okay. It's gonna be okay." She kept repeating into nothingness.

But it wasn't okay. It wasn't going to be okay.

Caroline extracted herself from Elena as she called Tyler, interrupting his work for the first time since they met.

"Care?" he asked, his voice muffled. "What's wrong?"

Caroline took a deep breath and closed her eyes to relay the news. "I need your help," was all she managed to say.

"Caroline, I can't-"

"It's Damon, Ty. Please." She told him. That's all she needed to say.

The next few hours flew by. Somewhere between the news they had received in the morning and before the turn of the day, something beautiful and life changing happened.

During all the sadness and pain that surrounded his family, Ben Lewis Salvatore was born. The letter still lay, untouched on the hall floor.

Dear resident,

It is with our deepest regrets that we inform you that Captain Damon Salvatore of UNIT 51B8 was declared deceased on the morning of August 9th 2007.

Sincerely,

Lieutenant John H. Miller

United States Military

A/N: I know, I'm awful. Reviews would would be appreciated a lot on this one!

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