Big thanks to my Beta Skeasel for helping with this story.

The mission on Feros was over, he knew he should feel relieved, glad or calm, but for Garrus it was the opposite. When he joined Shepard, he thought only of getting Saren, not the difficulties he'd face serving on a human ship or any ship that wasn't turian. Chasing a rogue Spectre was definitely the most tiring thing he'd ever done. Shepard was restless, more than he'd ever expected. Since they left the Citadel they had already visited Therum, followed by countless side missions and now Zhu's Hope. She was changing the ground team regularly giving everyone time to rest, but for him it wasn't enough.

The commander had sent him to check the tunnels for any geth they might've missed and Alenko to the tower while she talked with the colonists. He really didn't understand how she could keep going. They hadn't seen a civilized place for months; no shore leaves, just work. He understood the importance of their job and wasn't sorry he joined. Garrus had learned more from her than in the years spent with C-sec. He just hoped he wouldn't snap under the pressure.

It was easier for the rest of the crew. Life on turian ships was something completely different. The way the captain ran it, how they dealt with stress, the food… It didn't help that some humans still held a grudge over the Relay 314 Incident. He could feel their glares whenever he left his spot at the Mako. Tali sometimes came to talk to him and Wrex would bother him when he was bored, but other than them and the commander, no one had paid any attention to him. Kaidan and Liara preferred solitude and Ashley seemed to avoid non-human crewmembers. It didn't bother him much – to spend time alone, but sometimes he felt like an outcast.

If the stress and the lack of socializing were tolerable, the food was simply a torture. Turian field rations were packs of tasteless, textureless nutrient mixture that left him in a bad mood after every meal. But he was too proud to bother Shepard with his little problems. He was an adult turian after all, not some child who'd cry over every discomfort. He was alive and healthy and could do his job. The life on the Citadel had simply spoiled him.

He was on his way back, close to the stair when he remembered missing the collapsed skyway where they had killed varren. It was unlikely that there was anything dangerous left just like in the rest of the places Shepard and the team visited – they did their job well - but being sure never hurt. After everything the colonist had suffered she wanted to make sure they left the base in the best condition possible.

The first thing he noticed upon entering the space was the smell: death, burned flesh and blood from the killed animals. He searched the perimeter, checking any suspicious spots trying not think about the heavy air around him, but it was no use. He stopped at the dead alpha varren.

Part of him wanted to just leave and ignore the sudden craving he felt. The other reminded him how long it had been since his last decent meal and that he deserved a little break, that no one was there to see him. The turian diet consisted mostly of fresh, bloody, raw meat. It was hard to transport on the ships, but with the help of preservatives or freezing they always had some even on the longest missions. It didn't taste as good or as fresh, but anything was better than the alternative.

Garrus looked around, making sure he was alone. He was so tired, stressed, almost desperate for any kind of familiarity it didn't matter that the varren were based on levo amino acids, that it wouldn't taste half as good as anything dextro, that it wouldn't give him any nutrition or that if someone saw him, it could end really badly. Other species were suspicious of turian eating habits so it wasn't talked about. If a human saw what he was about to do it would make the gap between him and the crew too big. They'd look at him with fear, distrust or disgust, but no one was around.

He drew his knife from it's sheath and cut a piece of the varren's flesh. He tore a chunk with his teeth and almost moaned in comfort. It was still warm and juicy, tasting far better than he expected. He slowly enjoyed every bite, relishing the feeling of his teeth sinking into the softness of the muscle, the slightly metallic taste of blood, the texture. For the first time in his life he understood how a good meal could be compared to sex. Garrus chuckled at the thought as blood trickled down his fingers and chin.

His bliss was interrupted by footsteps behind him. He turned around and found Shepard walking toward him. She froze when noticed his look. Garrus swallowed the bite he still had in his mouth, let go of the piece he was holding and straightened up.

"I can explain," he said to her.

"I hope it will sound better than it looks," Shepard answered.

Was she angry? Terrified? Disgusted? Humans were so difficult to read.

"Raw meat is normal food for turians," Garrus said, embarrassed. "I just… I felt hungry after eating only field rations for this whole time and there was fresh meat… I apologize, it won't happen again, Commander."

"Clean up, I'll talk to you about this on the Normandy. We're done here," she said after looking at him for a while. Was there amusement in her voice?

She turned around and went back to the ship leaving him wondering if he will be left at their next stop. He had no idea what more to tell her when they'd meet, how to ease her doubts about him being a danger to her crew. He cleaned the blood from his face and hands and started walking away. Salarians and asari had learned to trust turians hundreds of years ago and to not be bothered by what they ate. They knew his people wouldn't attack anyone for food even if they were starving, but humans were new to the Galaxy. Most were suspicious of anything the turians did. Garrus cursed his own weakness and foolishness of keeping it secret. It probably had cost him the place on Shepard's ship, mission and the list of people she trusted.

He returned to the Normandy and nothing felt different than usual. Joker was watching a vid waiting for an order to leave and not one of the crew so much as looked at him as he passed by. Shepard apparently hadn't said anything or warned them of a potentially dangerous, bloodthirsty turian returning. Garrus felt a little relieved, even hopeful that this situation could be resolved without him getting kicked out.

"Commander asked to tell you to go to her cabin as soon as possible. She wishes to speak with you before discussing the mission with the rest," Presley said when Garrus walked past him. He nodded and moved on without stopping.

He took a shower and changed into a clean set of armor as quickly as he could. He didn't want to leave Shepard and everyone else waiting, but when he finally was at her door, he needed a moment to gather his courage before knocking. He already had played out dozens of possible conversations with her in his mind. Every excuse, every defense was ready the moment she'd give him a chance. Leaving the Normandy was the last thing he wanted to do despite all it's inconveniences.

Garrus knocked on the door and entered after she gave permission. Her cabin was small. He noticed only a bed and desk before his eyes stopped at her. Her hair was still damp from the shower and she had changed her uniform.

"I didn't expect you so soon," Shepard said, sitting down at her workplace. "I have a few questions, if you don't mind."

"Of course not," he answered.

"So, what I saw today – that was normal for turians?" she asked, completely calm.

He took a deep breath, inhaling her unusual smell. "No, it wasn't. We eat raw meat, but in a more civil way, like every other species – on dishes with utensils. I just…" he could give her any excuse, but decided to say the truth; she deserved that much for giving him a chance. "It's hard being on a human ship, I didn't expect so many differences. The past few months were stressful and the food here is just awful. I guess I just wanted some sort of familiarity, to feel like a turian just for moment."

"Could you attack someone from the ship?" Shepard continued questioning.

Garrus knew she would ask this question and it was completely normal, but still he couldn't help feeling a little offended. "Of course not. I'm not an animal, that wasn't some instinct dictated action. If you found a fruit you like on some planet, wouldn't you pick and eat it?"

"Good metaphor," she noted, smiling.

"Turians don't attack and kill to feed. Animals for food are grown in special farms just like for any other species," he explained, feeling better. "I'm not proud of what I did and I'm sorry I didn't warn you before."

"It's not like you did anything wrong," she said. "I should apologize to you – it is my duty to take care of those working for me and make them feel comfortable, do the necessary research. I'm sorry for neglecting my duties."

Her posture had changed. She sat one leg over the other, her fingers playing with the edge of a datapad. Her expression was relaxed, but her eyes regarded him with an intensity he hadn't seen from her before. And the way the corners of her lips were raised up…

"So, I'm allowed to stay on the Normandy?" he asked, looking away.

"I'm not sending anyone away just because their choice of food is a bit unusual. I'll get you turian meals when next we dock so you don't have to go feed on dead varren," she answered, chuckling. "You're worrying too much, Garrus. I trust you." She stood up and patted his shoulder. "Let's go, I want to get debriefing over with as soon as possible. It's been a long day."

He couldn't agree more.

Two days later Shepard found herself nervous, restless and aroused, an unusual combination, even for her. She was sitting at her desk, finishing the last report, glancing at the clock after every few sentences. Another three sentences and her job for the day was done, but there were still a few minutes left before the end of Garrus' shift. She felt a little crazy as well, but that was normal. Though propositioning a member of a different species for sex was not. She opened the research materials she had gathered and went over them one more time. That was not a good idea, she was getting wet just from thinking about doing the things written there to Garrus and she needed a clear head for the first part of the evening.

When she checked the time again, it was already half an hour past. She turned off the terminal and took a quick look at herself in the mirror before exiting. She was lucky – Garrus was standing in the mess, taking a bottle of water out of the cooler.

"Garrus, are you busy?" she asked, coming to stand next to him.

"There are still some things I need finish at the Mako, but nothing urgent," he answered. "Do you need something?"

"I wanted to speak with you. About your condition," she told him. Shepard saw him tense up. He probably thought she had changed her mind and would send him off the Normandy.

"Sure, I'll just take the water down," he said, stepping past her.

"Great, I'll wait for you in my cabin," Shepard said and turned to watch him leave. When she heard the elevator door shut, she started walking towards her room, but Ashley's voice stopped her.

"Is Garrus sick?" she asked. Somehow Shepard had completely missed that she was in the room as well.

"It's nothing serious," she answered coming closer to her. "Having an early dinner?"

"I wanted to finish some things as well so I came up for some snacks," she explained.

"Don't overdo it," Shepard warned. "I need you in top shape. I heard some crewmen are playing cards on the storage floor after the shift, you should join them, have some fun." And get away from the walls of my quarters.

"What about you? I'm sure you could use some break too," Ashley suggested.

"Maybe another time," she smiled, desperately wishing to leave before Garrus arrived. "After I talk with Garrus, I'll probably go to sleep, I'm not feeling so well."

"I see."

"See you tomorrow," Shepard said, leaving. "And go, relax."

Garrus showed up a few minutes after she entered her room. He was more anxious than before and couldn't hide it. Shepard found it amusing how they both felt the same way but for completely different reasons.

"Sit down," she gestured at the chair, but he didn't take the seat, leaning against the desk instead. "And stop looking so worried, I haven't changed my mind about keeping you on my team."

He let out a deep sigh and his shoulders finally relaxed. "How can I help you then, Commander?"

"I'll get to it in a moment, but before that I wanted to tell you something. About myself," Shepard explained, standing at the other side of the bed. "I'm addicted to the adrenaline. It's not as bad as it sounds, I can control it most of time, but sometimes I get carried away. You probably have noticed it - during the missions I can get quite reckless." He nodded and she continued. "I'm doing my best to hold back when working so that I don't put others under unnecessary risk. It's also the reason why I'm a workaholic, how I missed that we haven't had a shore leave since leaving the Citadel until the incident with you. I forget that others are different. But I'm not trying to keep it under such a strict control in my personal life. Danger excites me, makes me feel more alive, adds to the pleasure. Normal and average bores me."

She just revealed one of her best kept secrets, something only few people knew about, but she felt it was the right thing to do especially if it was part of the reason why she wanted to sleep with him. Or maybe she did it, because she liked him and trusted him more than she was ready to admit even to herself.

It wasn't an easy life, she reconsidered every action she was about to take, every command before giving it many times to be sure it was the best way to do the job - that her condition wasn't clouding her judgment. Meditation was a good way to relax, but she had found out that getting a bit of excitement elsewhere helped her concentrate later. And sex was rather suitable option – in places she could get caught or with strangers, but never before with someone from a different species. However, that was because she hadn't gotten a chance until now, not because the thought hadn't crossed her mind. The moment Garrus joined her crew, she knew he was perfect for her kink and that this conversation would eventually happen. Seeing him with blood on his hands and face was the last push she needed.

"That explains your driving," he finally said, "but how is this linked to me and the events two days ago?"

"Garrus, put together what I just told you and what I saw before," she told him and watched with slight amusement how his expression changed as her intentions dawned on him.

"Oh," he said and stayed silent for a moment again, then asked: "So the chance of getting harmed during sex turns you on?"

"The thought, possibility, not actual pain," she answered, starting to feel insecure. He wouldn't be the first man to reject her because of that.

"That's rather…" he started to say, but Shepard interrupted.

"Sick? Crazy?" Better to learn his true opinion right away.

"I was going to say – unexpected from a human," he answered. "There are turians with similar taste, but I hadn't encountered a person from a different species like that."

She closed her eyes and sighed, relieved, and when she looked at him again there was a predatory smile on her face. "So, what do you say?"

"I'm sorry, Commander, I'm not interested in humans," he answered honestly. She could see the tension returning to his body, but she never gave up without a fight.

"Maybe I could change that," she offered coming to him and putting her hands on his waist, moving them up slowly. "I've done some research, why don't you give me a chance?"

"Commander, I respect you, but…" he said, nervously.

"It's not your respect I want right now, Garrus," she said, still smiling, her palms now on his armored chest.

"There are plenty of human males on this ship for this kind of thing," he removed her hands from his armor, holding her at bay by her wrists.

She pressed her body against him instead, kissing his neck. "I don't want any of them, I already told you the normal bores me" Shepard whispered against him. "I want the sexy, dangerous turian that caught my eye the first time I saw him. Don't look at me as a human or your Commander, just Shepard."

He released her, moved his hands up to her arms like he had finally agreed, but didn't relax, remaining stiff and tense. She sighed and moved back a few steps, realizing she once again had gotten carried away. Shepard didn't want to force him in to sleeping with her, but Garrus was her subordinate and could misinterpret her actions. She might have lost all his respect in the past few minutes. It was embarrassing that she hadn't thought of it sooner.

"Look, I don't want you to do this because I'm your boss and you think it's your duty," she said, suddenly serious. "It's supposed to be a way to relax, relieve some stress and have fun. If you're not willing to at least try, you can leave and we can pretend this never happened."

"I just need to think this over," he explained.

"Of course. Take as much time as you need," she said with a half-hearted smile, trying to hide her disappointment.

He nodded and left the captain's cabin. She sat down on the bed looking at the floor. It didn't go as planned, but there was still hope, she tried to comfort herself. But the more rational part of her knew he was just buying time to find the best way to reject her without hurting her pride. Shepard had been rather sure he'd agree – she knew he liked her as a person and sex between crew members was a normal thing on a turian ship. He had said himself that he longed for something familiar and Shepard thought those were reasons good enough for him to forget she was a human.

She stayed like that trying to come up with a plan on how to speak to him again without it being too awkward when the door opened and he returned looking even more nervous than before.

"Garrus?" she stood up and looked at him, puzzled.

"Alright, this is completely crazy," he started to explain, pacing in the free space at the edge of her bed. "If we do this and it doesn't work out, I might regret it. If we don't at all, I'll definitely regret it." He closed the distance between them and put his hands on her waist shyly. "I want to try this with you, Shepard," he said. "I just don't have any idea what to do."

"Good," the smile reappeared on her face. "I've been pleasuring myself thinking about you for the past two days. And before as well," she resumed kissing him. "It would be nice if I could get the real thing. Do you like this?"

"It feels strange, but not in a bad way," he answered, his voice huskier than before.

She remembered her research on the diagrams, focusing her effort on his neck under the fringe, massaging there lightly with her fingertips while licking his mandible slowly. He inhaled sharply and tightened his grip.

"Where should I …" his question turned into a gasp as she swirled her tongue around the tip of his mandible, adding more pressure on his neck while her other hand tried to find the seals to remove his armor unsuccessfully and gave up.

She stepped back and took his hands in hers and put them on her neck: "Here," she led them lower, stopping at her breast, pressing his palms harder against them: "Here. You can also use your tongue." Garrus leaned in and licked her neck from her collarbone to ear then back down and repeated it on the other side while their linked hands stroked her breasts. She almost forgot what they were doing before. Shepard pulled his hand down to the sides of her waist. "Here," she said, barely louder than a whisper as he was still working on her neck and continued the movement to her ass: "Here as well." She led his right hand to her front and between her legs. "Especially here," she said and he squeezed her bottom with one hand while rubbing the fingers of the other against her folds through the cloth of her pants. She couldn't stop herself from moaning, she was turned on by his touch and the thought of how dangerous he is, more than anyone else before. She wondered if the wetness had soaked through the fabric and he could feel it.

Shepard let go of his hands and continued her so far unsuccessful attempts of getting him out of his armor. Before she became frustrated, Garrus let go of her and suggested: "Why don't we take care of it ourselves? I don't have confidence I'd do better with your clothes."

She undressed quickly and stood before him naked, looking at him as he removed his armor. He always wore it, she hadn't seen a single spot of his skin or plates under it. She knew how turians looked naked in general, but his body excited her unlike the others'. She wanted to see it, touch it, taste it…

When he was finally done, she stepped closer to him. Shepard put a finger on the seam in the middle of his pelvic plate and stroked it – she knew he was sensitive there.

"Second lesson," she said pulling his face closer to hers with the other hand and pressed her lips against his mouth opening it easily with her tongue. Shepard spent a moment tracing his sharp teeth and felt a new wave of excitement wash over her. She turned her attention to his tongue, stroking it with hers and memorizing his taste. He answered her effort by pushing his into her mouth, exploring it.

"Humans like to use tongue, I see," he concluded when they pulled apart.

"You have no idea," she answered with mischievous grin, licking a wet trail down his neck to the chest. She nibbled the edges of his plates slightly with her teeth, her tongue teasing the flesh between them. One of his hands stroked her breast, the other her head, his fingers moving through her hair as she proceeded lower. He was enjoying it, if the sounds he made were any indication.

She exchanged her finger on his plated hips for her tongue, caressing the seam with its soft, wet pressure. That finally drew a true moan out of him. She continued licking him until she felt the plates starting to shift and then stood up. There was something else she wanted to try and he was in a perfect state for that.

Shepard went to her bed and climbed into it on knees and hands, the rest of her legs over the side of the bed. She spread her thighs and looked over her shoulder.

"Come," she said and he understood what she wanted. Of course he did, that was a turian thing. He came to stand between her legs, pressing his plates against her ass and folds and she started to move her hips up and down. This was a way turians teased each other's plates open, the friction of rubbing sensitive parts against each other sped the process, but Shepard hoped the action would translate with her as well. And it did – she could feel them open against her.

Once there was big enough gap and the tip of his cock had emerged, Garrus grabbed her hips and held them, not letting her move anymore. He pushed it inside her and drew back. He repeated the action, every time a little more of it had come out and filled her a little deeper. When he had finally fully emerged, his grip became looser and she resumed moving against him, her speed twice his previous, but he adapted to her rhythm quickly, fucking her hard and making her moan in pleasure. He felt better than she had dared to hope.

He bent over her to nuzzle her neck, his breath hot against her skin and she used the chance to take his hand once again and lead his finger to her clit, barely balancing on one hand as he thrust his cock in her.

"There," she said, panting. "Stroke it slightly."

He did as she asked, caressing it without slowing down his effort to fuck her good. It took just a few quick strokes to make her come, every muscle in her body tensing up as she called his name. Shepard heard him moan as her inner muscles tightened around his member, but he didn't finish. Instead he pulled out when she relaxed and turned her over on her back. He effortlessly lifted her further up the bed, sat down between her legs and watched her as she slowly regained her posture.

"That was interesting," he said, stroking her thigh. "That tightening – turian women don't do that. I want to feel it again."

"I'm glad you're enjoying this," she said, smiling. "I don't want to be the only one who gets to feel good. I just need a few more minutes – that orgasm just now was… wow."

Garrus chuckled: "Sure, but I remember you saying something about the danger and it turning you on."

He moved his left arm next to her shoulder to support his weight as leaned over her. He put his right hand at the base of her neck. He stroked it a few times, then lifted his hand until only his sharp talons were touching her skin. He moved them lower, tracing between her breasts, leaving white lines that disappeared almost instantly. Shepard shivered. He had understood it right. The touch was light, teasing, but she could feel the edge on them – it wouldn't take much effort to pierce her skin if he wanted to. He wouldn't, she was sure, but the thought was enough for her to feel the heat of arousal between her legs again.

When he reached her lower waist, Garrus stroked back up, but this time over her neck and cheek as well. He caressed her lips with one talon and pressed his mouth against hers. His talons traveled down again, over her nipple and she jerked against him at the feeling, moaning while they were still kissing. She didn't need any more time to recover, she was ready to go again, but he wasn't done. He moved to her chest, positioned his teeth around her breast and circled her nipple with his tongue.

Her breathing heavy, Shepard put her hands on his hips and tried to pull them down, to get his member back inside her, but he didn't give in. She needed it so badly, he was driving her crazy and she even considered begging for it. But Garrus spared her that, moving his mouth to nip slightly at her shoulder and neck and pushing his cock in her opening. She hooked her legs around his waist and moved her hands to his shoulders.

He picked up the pace faster this time, his teeth barely touching the skin of her neck. Shepard moved against him in time with his thrusts, tightening her inner muscles, letting him enjoy the feeling. Soon he was panting with effort to hold back his orgasm. His hand found a way between their bodies and her sensitive spot again, stroking it. She came again, but this time he did as well, almost in time with her.

They stayed like that, breathing heavy, their bodies still pressed tight together. Garrus rolled off her when his cock started to recede.

Shepard smiled. Everything had worked out better than expected and she wondered why she hadn't asked him sooner. For her it was important that he had enjoyed it as well and she was now sure he had. Garrus was exactly what she wanted from a lover, especially when he took control because sometimes she longed to just let go. If things would go just as well outside bedroom... It could get complicated, but then again taking risks was in her nature. After all she had already liked him before sex.

"Told you I'd change your mind about humans," she said when she was able to speak again.

"That was the last time I doubt you," he answered, his mandibles moving to form a turian grin.

"I set the course to the Citadel yesterday," she told him, after a moment of silence. "Would you like to have a dinner with me?"

"I know a great steak house," he answered.