"Mr. Gilbert, thanks for coming to your performance review."
"No problem."
"So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?"
"Absolutely, I'm the Prussian!"
"Okay, so take us through a day in the life of 'the Prussian.'"
"Well the first thing I do is..."

Use awesome (like a Prussian)
Chill with my buddies (like a Prussian)
First prize for drinking (like a Prussian)
Remember old Fritz (like a Prussian)
Direct armies (like a Prussian)
My own basement (like a Prussian)
Be albino (like a Prussian)
Strange laugh (like a Prussian)
Make Canada my b*tch (like a Prussian)
Lose country status (like a Prussian)
Annoy Germany (like a Prussian)
Spew beer (like a Prussian)
Learn Hungary's gender (like a Prussian)
Refuse to cry (like a Prussian)
Demand money (like a Prussian)
Eat a scone (like a Prussian)
Survive poisoning (like a Prussian)
Crotch cloth (like a Prussian)
Go bar-hopping (like a Prussian)
P*ss on a tree trunk (like a Prussian)
Wave a sword (like a Prussian)
Take on Russia (like a Prussian)

Oh fuck man I can't fucking do it... Scheibe!

Run from the room (like a Prussian)
Puke on Canada's desk (like a Prussian)
Leap off the balcony (like a Prussian)
Speak German (like a Prussian)
Score a bird (like a Prussian) [Pyoo~!]
Wreck a tank (like a Prussian)
Survive (like a Prussian)
Eat some wurst (like a Prussian)
Chop my 5 meters off (like a Prussian)
Claim vital regions (like a Prussian)
Live in Prussia (like a Prussian)
Dance with India (like a Prussian)
Be pure awesome (like a Prussian)
Annoy Austria (like a Prussian)
Get p*wned by Hungary (like a Prussian)
Now I'm dead (like a Prussian)

"Uh huh. So that's an average day for you then?"
"No doubt."
"You survive poisoning but die?"
"Hell ja."
"And I think at one point there you said something about 5 meters?"
"Nope!"
"Actually I'm pretty sure you did."
"Nein, that ain't me."
"Okay, well this has been eye opening for me…"
"I'm the Prussian!"
"Yeah, I know I got that. You said it about four-hundred times."
"I'm the Prussian!"
"Yeah, yeah I got it!"
"I'm the Prussian!"
"No; I heard you, bye."

~LIKE A PRUSSIAN!~

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this – it was fun to write. Thanks for reading (like a Prussian)! /is shot/

Suggestions, comments? Review please~ (Flames shall be used to burn away writer's block.)