I have no idea. I honestly have no freaking idea. This drabble wrote itself, I swear. I don't even know where it came from…

I don't own.

Slightly AU-post movie, a bit larger than a drabble but not quite a oneshot, …and very, very odd. Not for the Aadams' though...:)

If the causal mention of murder, body mangling, and/or anything of this nature offends you, you should not read this drabble. Nor should you be in this section of fanfiction.

You have been warned.

Permission to Kill

Joel sat, slightly disgruntled, as Wednesday said goodbye to her boyfriend. She walked over to his table and sat down.

"He's not a good guy," he mumbled.

"I know."

"Do I have permission to kill him if he hurts you?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head.

His shoulders slumped.

She continued with a sigh, "I'm afraid Uncle Fester has already 'called dibs' on murdering Charlie. Father is planning on torturing him first however. Mother and Granmama have curses ready should he act up. And Pugsley has claim on the mutilation of limbs. You may mangle whatever is left though…"

If Joel hadn't been friends with Wednesday Addams for almost three years, a constant guest among her odd family, and secretly in love with her, a statement like this one might've frightened him. Indeed, once upon a time, it would have. Instead, however, he grinned.

"He has no idea what he's getting into does he?"

Wednesday smiled thinly. "No he doesn't."

I still have no clue…where the hell this came from. The AU bit is, obviously, the whole boyfriend (who isn't Joel) thing. Also, if your name is Charlie, I sincerely apologize. I bear no grudge against the Charlie's of the world.

Review…or not.