A/N: Began: 5/7/13 End: 5/20/13

I will say this; my BIGGEST musical inspiration for this story is indie rock. Nice Vega is a big one, so is the very talented Passion Pit. Biggest band though for the story is the lovely album Night Visions by Imagine Dragons. I adore Imagine Dragons and they better go pretty damn far in their career. You would think I would listen to late sixties/early seventies jams, but meh. I have no disrespect for that period; it just doesn't get the creative juices flowing. Well, the Beatles do. I listen to the Beatles when and if I am ever faced with a sex scene. I might do a full on one sometime, or maybe re-write the first part of… 19? I think it's 19. Whatever chapter the almost sex scene is on. Anyway, might rewrite that and make it more… unf.

How should I research for that part? Should I look at porn? I mean…. more porn than usual?

I tell you what isn't pornographic, my upcoming AU fiction involving everyone's favorite superhero group that isn't the Justice League, the Avengers! What happens when the individuals we know and love need to hide away from their oppressive government because of their abilities? What will come to play when they all meet? Look out for We Are Revolving, a new perspective on super heroes! It has Thor! It has the Science Bros! It has Nat and Clint! It has Captain Spangly Pants! HORRAY FOR CAPTAIN SPANGLY PANTS!

Remus didn't have proper shoes on. The hospital wing had given him some socks with rubber traction on the bottom, but that was the extent of his foot protection as he went running around in a shirt that was too big on him and some small pants. Yeah, he looked like a recently discharged patient, a mental patient maybe. It didn't help that he was running with a shaggy haired rebel in a tank top and a tie. It dawned on Remus… Sirius didn't even put his trousers back on! Scratch that, he was running with a shaggy haired rebel in a tank top, tie and not much else. Just maroon underwear.
If there was any doubt from his teachers and parents regarding his placement into St Mungos, this sight would erase any doubts and only get Remus sent there- fast. There were no teachers to confirm such insanity though, so Remus figured he was safe for now. He loosened his grip on Sirius' hand, only to have Sirius grab on tighter. There was no escape from the freak parade. Remus figured that it was better than the freak parade than no parade at all after a while, and reverted back to squeezing the hand.
Sirius stopped short, and Remus didn't have a clue where in the castle they were. All he saw was a door in front of them. Sirius turned around and grinned. "Ready?"
"For what?"
"This is… a place I never showed you even before your memory kind of… POOFED, I guess." Sirius stroked the door. "But I've been going here for a while. It's just an abandoned classroom. I don't even know how I found it."
"Is it like… a secret club or something? The one man club." Remus said. "So mysterious."
"Kind of, you'll see, it's kind of a second home." Sirius opened the door. "I call it the wolf den. Lame huh?"
Remus followed Sirius into the room, which turned out to be no more than just a small broom closet. "Well… it's a closet." Remus said. Sirius laughed and closed the door. The space went dark for a moment and Remus heard a small click and stood face to face with Sirius holding a lighter, the flame flickering and giving off a dramatic light that highlighted the features on the rebel's face. Remus could really see his cheek bones and the small bags under his eyes. He could really appreciate the dimple that formed every time Sirius smirked. Remus pushed any thoughts regarding Sirius' face away as soon as they came, stupid thoughts.
Sirius slid down the wall and sat down, Remus following suit. He looked around in the dim light and saw it was, get this, a broom closet. Sirius hummed lowly and stared up at the ceiling. "I like to go in here and think… and it's a good place to wank if the dorm has people in it." Remus jumped up in disgust and Sirius snorted. "Joking! I'm joking, sit back down! Oh Merlin, your face though!"
"Not funny, ass." Remus kicked Sirius shin and sat back down. Sirius winced a little and tilted is head back, laughing harder. Remus ran his fingers through his own hair. "So what do you think about it?"
"Future, any and all ghosts that haunt me, I think a variety of things." Sirius looked back up at the ceiling. "I guess this isn't much fun."
"No, it's… I like it. It's quiet. I like the quiet. This is a nice little space, Sirius Black." Remus said just as the lighter went out.
"Shit, there goes our light source…"
"It's dark in here… I don't have my wand on me."
"Wish we brought some food…. or a pack of smokes. Remus, I'm in love with you."
"I'm aware of that."
It was silent for a long time before Sirius asked, "Am I wasting my time, then?"
"…I don't know. Define wasting your time."
"Trying to get you back."
"I… I don't know. It's fucking me over too, you know. Knowing you loved someone at one point, and they're unrecognizable."
"I guess when you put that way; we're both in the same boat."
"I'm… unrecognizable too?"
"Well, you aren't the Remus I knew."
"…Oh."
"…Hi."
"Hello, Sirius Black."
"I love you."
Remus sighed and shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm aware of that." He felt a hand brush his forehead and clamp on to his shoulder. "Sirius what—" he felt another hand find his other should and heard slight shuffling and then felt a foreign pair of lips on his. Before he knew what he was doing, Remus kissed back.
This is nice, he thought.
This must be what it used to be, he thought.
This needs to stop, he thought. Remus pushed Sirius away and pressed himself against the closet wall. "Stop, no… I don't even know you, I don't even… this can't happen."
"Why can't it, it's already happening. Dammit, Remus!" Sirius stood, found the door and opened it. Remus flinched from the newfound light seeping in through the crack. "It's just… not fair." Sirius choked out before leaving. The door slammed behind him and in spite of it all, Remus pounded his fist on the ground with a loud "FUCK!"
He got scared. As usual, he got scared. Am I a Gryffindor or not! He thought through angry tears. He got up and walked out of the closet, chasing down Sirius. "Sirius Black! Please stop walking!" he caught up to the hunched over figure and spun him around, grabbing his hands.
"Please go away, Remus. I can't deal with this right now." Sirius struggled to turn back around, struggling to get his hands away from the werewolf's iron grip.
"Sirius Black… you must be a damn good wizard," And Remus kissed him. Sirius took a few steps back, blinking. Remus broke away. "You put a spell on me."
"Remus…
"Remus… what do you want Remus? Stop staring at me, let me go!" Sirius tugged at his hands until the grip finally loosened. He crossed his arms. "Snap out of it!"
"I—I… Sirius Black, I apologize." Remus said stiffly, wondering what his brain was doing. What a crazy… thought... Sirius huffed. "No really, I do. I wish I could… I could love you to the extent that… you do. Oh my, I'm sorry." The werewolf rubbed his head. "I'm a little… dazed for some reason."
"You pissed me off today, Remus. Please just leave me alone now."
"I can't! I mean… I wish I could do that, Sirius Black. But now you've just confused me even more and I need to…" Remus groaned.
"Just say what's on your mind, Remmy…" Sirius' voice softened a little. "I can't help you until you speak."
"I need my memories back. I need to understand…" Remus looked at the ground. "I need to figure this out."
"You will… you will…" Sirius watched his beloved crumple and rubbed his back as Remus leaned against Sirius' chest. "We can figure this out…"
OoOoOo
Dumbledore's study was always interesting to look at. To Remus, it was like seeing it all over again. He only wished he remembered the phoenix and all the portraits… he couldn't stop fidgeting as he turned his head all around to fully take in the sensory overload that was Professor Dumbledore's office. He should have been paying more attention to the matter at hand; he was sitting in front of Dumbledore's desk alongside Sirius.
"So you see sir, we want to use any pensieve the school has, and maybe help give Remus back some memories using that. It'll be like, a second-hand memory." Sirius tapped his forehead. "And they're all in here; I just need to show him."
"Mr. Black, I'm not sure that would work out too nicely in Mr. Lupin's recovery. He's supposed to regain them himself." Dumbledore had his hands folded on his desk, looking ever-so-mysterious and majestic in his robes, his blue eyes studied the rebel long and hard.
"Sir, I don't have the patience for that, and I think Remus here will have the same response." Sirius said. "If we just get the chance… it's not fair that he doesn't get to see how amazing he was. He should be able to see."
"You really want to do this, Mr. Lupin?" Dumbledore turned to the clearly distracted Remus. Remus turned and blinked a little, trying to remember the part of the conversation where he checked out. He decided to just not think about it and answer.
"Um, yes sir." He mumbled.

The old wizard sighed and stood, brandishing his wand and opening a cabinet with it. He walked over to the cabinet and Sirius saw it held a pensieve. Remus stared too, standing up and walking slowly to it.
"So, I just put my memories in that thing, and then somehow, Remus can see them?" Sirius asked. He took out his wand and joined Remus. He had just learned in charms the spell to do this, and was half eager to just try it out.
"That's exactly it, Mr. Black. Are you really sure about this, you two? It's better to let his memory heal naturally…"
"Professor… let me do this." Remus said. He puffed air through his cheeks and looked into the pensieve, watching all the swirls in the smoke-like fluid that swam in it. Sirius put his wand to his head, closed his eyes, and pulled his wand back along with a silvery substance. He dropped it into the pensive and looked at Remus.
"I think that's all of them I want you to see… ready?" he smiled and held out his hand. Remus smiled back, taking the hand with great hesitation.
"I guess…" Remus stirred the memory in and suddenly felt him being sucked into it. His hand slipped away from Sirius' grip and he grabbed back on, squeezing. There was no way he was doing this without Sirius. They fell onto the floors of King's Cross station. This looked familiar….
"King's Cross, first year." Sirius stood up and brushed his robes off. "We first met here, we were eleven. And I…" a short boy with shaggy hair ran his cart into a taller boy's with scars. "Well, I did that." Sirius laughed.
"Oh my god, what is going on with my hair? Did I really look that stupid?" Remus gawked at his little-self. "Can they see us?"
"Nope, they're figments of my memory, they aren't really here, but they really did happen. Crazy stuff, magic, huh?" Sirius put his hands in his pockets.
Remus snorted. "Yeah, crazy. So we met in first year, and you nearly ran me over with your cart. That's… a cute start to the story."
"It's not a story though, it happened."
"I'm treating as a story until I can fully wrap my head around this… memory stuff." Remus looked up. "This place has a high ceiling." He watched the building disintegrate around him into what looked like the school grounds, in front of the greenhouses. He watched as a ** off second year, marched away from another second year boy, who looked just as peeved.
"This was the start of a really weird fight that I never quite understood. I kept talking to you about some bird, and you got pretty jealous. Thinking back, it was kind of adorable. Twelve years old for the both of us."
"I threw things at you, oh Merlin I'm so sorry!" Remus laughed. "Say… did a plant have to do with this…?"
"…Yeah, how do you…"
"I just feel like there was a plant in this story… I dunno." Remus said.
The scene faded away and they were in a corridor. Remus witnessed his third year self pull Sirius forward and kiss him. He swore he felt the feeling of his lips, or was it just his imagination? His head started to have a dull ache. "First kiss?" he whispered. Sirius nodded. "What exactly… happened afterwards?"
"You ran away, I talked to a painting, and then we met up again, only for a little bit of a date… and we snuck out during the closing feast. And we talked about our own little realization of feelings. And I started talking about that one stupid sentiment about-."
"Eyes," Remus finished. "It was about eyes… and how they weren't windows to the soul, but doors, right?" Remus' brain was spinning. "They were locked doors and you need the right person to unlock them, because only a few people should see a soul."
"That's… that's right, Remus. How much more can you remember? Speak up, Remmy!"
"I… not much, but it's there, I can feel it. What's the next memory?" just as Remus said that, the corridor faded away into a forest. Remus watched as another Remus leaned against a tree, Sirius on the other side. Their mouths moved, but Remus couldn't hear them. He felt the real Sirius grabbing on tight to his hand, brushing his thumb against it lightly. Memory Remus turned to hug the tree, and Memory Sirius did the same. They were looking at each other, and as Remus watched the scene unfold, his heart thumped against his chest. He breathed out the words he simply knew were coming next.
"I think I love you." Remus felt Sirius moved closer, his mouth to Remus' ear.
"I think I love you too." Sirius whispered.
"Good."
"Good?"
Remus turned his head and looked Sirius up and down. "Yeah." It was quite good indeed. Remus leaned forward, tilting his head, lips pouted. Sirius mirrored his actions…
And then they were falling.
They were quite literally falling.
Remus screamed and grabbed onto and also-screaming Sirius. The dropped onto the floor of their dorm, another memory. Remus was shaking.
"What the hell was that?" He got up. "fucking… fuck, the shit as that for!?"
"The Pensieve has something against my love life." Sirius rubbed his head. He looked at his bed and saw him tangled in the sheets with Sirius. "OH GOD, LOOK AWAY, REMUS!" he shielded his eyes.
"It's us, idiot. I mean… I think that's what my hair looks like from behind." Remus watched with an odd amount of interest. "So we've had sex?"
"Only one time, but yeah, we've had sex." Sirius shifted and wrung his hands together. "Sorry I never told you…"
"I'm not a virgin? Well that's… I mean, I did it with you, so I guess that's okay." He heard moaning from the bed and turned red. "How do you change the freaking memory?"
"I hope Dumbledore isn't somehow watching this. Oh Merlin, I'm mortified enough."
Slowly, the memory faded along with the others, and Remus struggled to remember exactly how that day went down. He remembered being angry before they went at it. Such strange circumstances for love making… He was in a corridor again, and the scene gave him shivers up and down his spine. Sirius let out a shaky breath. He wrapped his arm around Remus' waist, and action which made Remus alert of the lack of distance between them. He was starting to not mind at all, starting to remember bits and pieces of something pretty special. But why did this corridor feel so… somber?
Remus looked down to see his own body crumpled on the floor. He saw James and Sirius running toward it, Sirius picking it up and yelling at it. He saw James running off to the hospital ward. He saw Sirius crying.
Oh.
Oh, so that's what happened after he lost his memory.
Oh, so that's how Sirius reacted to it.
Oh, so that's the reason why he was stuck with only bits and pieces. Remus understood a little, now. But it hurt to understand, and he started to really appreciate the phrase "ignorance is bliss."
He shivered again and lean against Sirius. "Is that… it that all of them?" He asked.
"Yeah, that's all of them." Sirius said. They felt themselves being pulled out of the pensieve and onto the floor of the headmaster's office. Professor Dumbledore sat at his desk, looking at them.
"Found what you were looking for, boys?" he asked.
Remus nodded. "I think so, thanks professor." Sirius got up and extracted the memory from the pensive, then the two left the office.

A/N: AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA THISISSOLATESHITFUCK.

Beta'd by the lovely qwerty124

Sorry for the lateness, I has STAR testing and end of the school year shit. Funnnnnnn... bleh.