If you can stay one more hour…

Can you stay one more hour?

Julie rubs her wrists frantically, pacing back and forth, back and forth, inhale exhale inhale exhale.

She is going to have to tell him. She knows it and it hurts, hurts, hurts, and she rubs her wrists faster and bites her lower lip.

If she doesn't tell him now, she'll never get to tell him. And that hurts, hurts, hurts, too, and she rubs her wrists and bites her lips until she tastes blood. She's so scared of everything.

"Jules?"

Her eyes snap up and she lets out a shriek, a little squeak, and her hands start shaking and that makes it hard to inhale exhale inhale exhale.

"We've gotta go," he says, distracted, too distracted to notice that is shaking and her lip is bleeding, things he would always (should always) notice. That is how she knows he is serious about this. About the danger.

About leaving.

They'd had drills all the time, but evacuating…had never really seemed an option. She'd never thought they'd had to. Never thought Kane would really…

Hurts, hurts, hurts.

"…Can we stay?" Her voice is shaking.

Mike's head jerks up, and he sees her shaking, her shuddering, and misinterprets. That's how she knows he's nervous. "It's okay, Jules. Take the Burners out of Motorcity, but you can't take the Motorcity out of the Burner." He laughs. It's a strained, tight sound.

Julie just shakes her head. Inhale exhale inhale exhale. "Can you stay one more hour?"

Something about her tone makes him freeze, and then nod slowly. He brings up Chuck's face on the screen and tells them to keep on evacuating people and then get out, that he and Julie have something to finish. She sits on 9 Lives and stares up at the neon lights masquerading as stars in the closest thing they've got to a sky. And he closes the screen and walks over, hands fisted nervously in his pockets, and sits next to her.

"…Are you okay?" he asks slowly.

She almost laughs. Instead she just shakes her head, lips pressed together.

"Julie…we'll still be the Burners, even after we leave."

She shakes her head again. If she opens her mouth to speak she will start crying.

"Julie, what's wrong?"

I'm terrified that you'll hate me.

I'm terrified not to tell you

Because then I deserve to be hated.

Liar.

"I…I'm…it's nothing," she chokes out.

"You're lying," he said, raising his eyebrow. "You're way too upset over this. Something's bugging you? What?"

She shakes her head again. "Can we just…be happy? And pretend that the world isn't ending?" He probably just thinks she's being theatrical. If only.

Still, he nods, and they lie back on the hood of her car and stare at the counterfeit stars. They talk about nothings, little giggles and smiles that slow her breathing and calm his shaking. Sometimes she almost brings it up, almost says it. She gets so close. But then the subject changes and she has stalled one second too long and she puts it off just a little longer. It's so easy.

I'm terrified.

But eventually it ends. He glances at his watch and says, "Hour's almost up. You ready to go, Jules?" he asks gently. They don't have the time, and she knows it. Everyone has to be evacuated, and Motorcity will be destroyed. She can't let that happen. She can't. So she leans over and kisses him.

She pulls away too fast to be sure, a blush on her cheeks, but she thinks that maybe, just maybe, he returned it.

"…Huh?" he asks, smiling stupidly, and she almost laughs. Almost.

"Go…go on ahead. I need to grab some more things. I'll be out in five, okay?" He's too stunned to argue or question the catch in her voice, and he nods and walks away slowly. She thinks she sees him touch his lips for a quick minute.

She didn't tell him what she wanted to tell him, she realizes belatedly. Maybe this is better, after all. She opens up her communicator and sends the little message. The apology. The justification. By the time any of them notice it, it'll be too late anyway.

She turns around, gets in her car.

Inhale exhale inhale exhale.

And she goes up to Deluxe to die.

I know a way to save Motorcity. But it's insanely dangerous, and I couldn't ask any of you to do it because I know that whoever does it is going to end up dead.

I love you guys so much.

I'm so sorry.

-Julie.