Disclaimer: I don't own Kyou kara Maou, or make any money from this fanfic.

Author's Note: This one is really silly, even by my standards. I hope you can enjoy it anyway.

Wolfram's Trip to the Megamall

Currently, Yuuri, Murata, Wolfram, Gwendal and Conrad were stuffed into the back of José's car.

They had left Günter back in Shin Makoku to tearfully compose a series of epic poems entitled His Royal Majesty King Yuuri Shibuya Shines like the Sun Even when he leaves His Most Faithful Servant Behind Once Again. The maids took bets as to how long it would take before Lord Wolfram burned the entire project to a crisp.

José had picked them up from the airport and was driving to a meeting with Bob when it happened: Miko spotted a sign for a Megamall.

"Oh, it's been so long since I've been to a mall," Miko squealed, "Let's stop and go shopping!"

José glanced at the clock. "I'm not sure if we have enough time."

Wolfram sat up in his seat. "Mall?" he asked. "What is this 'mall'?"

"It's a building with a lot of shops inside," Conrad tried to explain. "Like the market in Shin Makoku, but inside a big building."

"And they have gorgeous dresses, and you can run around from store to store and they have all kinds of food," Miko said while her eyes seemed to sparkle.

"And it's a good place to take a date," Murata said with an evil smirk.

Wolfram turned to Yuuri, "As your fiancé I demand that you take me to this 'mall'."

Yuuri shrank away, "Ahhh hahah, maybe some other time, Wolfram," he said. Murata sniggered and Yuuri started trying to elbow him in the ribs.

"Don't be such a spoilsport, Yuu-chan," Miko scolded. "Boys are so boring. They usually don't like to go to the mall and go shopping with their mothers."

"I'd like to go shopping with you, Mrs. Shibuya," Murata said.

"Gee, thanks a lot Murata," Yuuri muttered under his breath.

"Well, I guess maybe we could stop there just to take a look," José said.

"You're so much fun, Dr. Rodriguez!" Miko said while reaching over to give José an enthusiastic hug.

The car swerved as José struggled to keep his hands on the wheel.

-o0o-

Wolfram felt overwhelmed as he walked into the large building. He focused on trying to identify small things.

"Yuuri, what is this?" Wolfram asked while pointing at a contraption directly in front of him. It had a container of brightly colored spheres behind glass, and a maze of tubes down below.

"That's a gumball machine," Yuuri answered.

"Gumball ma-?" Wolfram tried.

"Here, let me show you how it works."

Yuuri placed a quarter in one of the slots. Lights flashed and one of the balls rolled down a spirally tunnel before landing out of sight. Yuuri picked the gumball up triumphantly and placed it in Wolfram's hand.

Wolfram looked at the gumball suspiciously.

"It's a type of candy," Yuuri explained. "You chew it."

Wolfram put the gumball in his mouth and started chewing.

"Looks like you finally found a way to keep Lord von Bliefeld's mouth busy, Shibuya," Murata quipped. "At least for now."

Gwendal frowned.

"What?" Yuuri asked and scratched his head. Then it dawned on him. "Eww! Stop being such a pervert, Murata!"

Murata winked. "You're the one with your mind in the gutter, Shibuya."

"And whose fault is that?" Yuuri muttered to himself.

"Well, I'm off to buy some anime." José gave them all a wave and a huge grin. "Make sure you all meet me back here at the front entrance of the mall in an hour, we don't have much time."

Conrad smiled. "We should find a store that sells spices. I'm sure they have plenty of thyme."

Several bystanders who had been unfortunate enough to hear the pun passed out and fell with a clunk onto the tiled flooring.

"Hey, that's a good one," said José before walking away.

Yuuri face palmed. "Conrad…"

"Weller!" Wolfram roared, then coughed on his gum and spit it out onto his hand. "Yuuri, what kind of candy is this? It's very difficult to eat, I still haven't been able to finish it," he said, waving the gum in front of Yuuri's face.

"You're not supposed to eat it, you're supposed to …-GAH!" Yuuri exclaimed as Wolfram brushed his fingers up against Yuuri's hair.

"Yuu-chan, stop fooling around," Miko scolded.

"But mom, Wolfram stuck his gum in my hair," Yuuri whined.

Wolfram pulled his hand back. "Wimp," he raged, "Why did you give me this sticky candy?"

"You're supposed to keep it in your mouth, not stick it all over people!" Yuuri said as he tried to pry Wolfram's sticky bubble-gum covered fingers from his hair. He winced as a few hairs were pulled out.

"You're really stuck with him now," Conrad said.

-o0o-

After Murata had found some peanut butter and they had gotten untangled, Miko ran off with Murata and Gwendal to do some shopping.

"Boy, this trip has really gotten off to a good start," Yuuri said sarcastically.

Wolfram frowned at Yuuri. "Yuuri, aren't you supposed to buy me things?" he asked dangerously. "Isn't that what the Great Sage said you go to a mall with your fiancé for?"

"Eh? I think you have that confused," Yuuri paused, seeing the dark glare that Wolfram was sending his way. "But of course I could buy you things anyway!" Let's see…hmm… you like sweets, right?"

"Yes," Wolfram replied slowly, "But I did not like those…gumballs."

"Ahahahaha." Yuuri scratched the back of his head. "Nothing you can make a mess with then."

He glanced around until he noticed a coffee shop. Yuuri brightened up. "You like coffee, right, Wolfram?"

Wolfram folded his arms. "Hmmph! You'd know the answer to that question if you paid attention last time you bought me one," he said, but looked pleased.

Yuuri ran over to buy a sugary drink from a nearby coffee shop, and brought Wolfram a double mocha latte with whipped cream and sprinkles on top.

Wolfram accepted the drink happily.

Conrad's eyes sparkled. "Now Wolfram knows how to get into a latte trouble."

Yuuri groaned. "Conrad…wait, do you want something?"

"I'm fine, your Majesty."

"My name is Yuuri!"

"…Yuuri."

Wolfram finished his sugar-coffee. "Wimp, buy me another," he royally ordered.

"I'm not a wimp, either! Geez, you'd think one of you guys would know my name by now."

"Yuuri, buy me another coffee," Wolfram amended.

"What's the magic word?"

Wolfram scowled. "Do it now."

"Hahaha, I guess that works too." Yuuri took Wolfram's cup and ran off to get a re-fill.

After his second cup of coffee Wolfram shoved his empty cup into Yuuri's hands. "Yuuri I want another one."

Yuuri had a ten second flashback to a mini-Miko explaining the dangers of coffee on a growing body. (Yuu-chan, coffee is for grown-ups and stressed-out college students. A growing boy should drink his milk. You want to grow big and strong, don't you, Yuu-chan? But then again if you stay tiny for the rest of your life maybe your angel wings will always fit," mini-Miko mused with a sigh. Children grow up much too quickly…) Emboldened by the advice of mini-Miko, Yuuri decided to impart some sage words of wisdom. "Wolfram, too much caffeine will stunt your growth."

Wolfram narrowed his eyes. "Yuuri, are you saying I'm short?"

"No, haha, of course not." Yuuri laughed nervously. "I was just thinking that after so much coffee maybe you would be done for the day."

Wolfram was not impressed, but his caffeine-sugar high was starting to kick in, and he found it hard to stay angry. "After you get me another coffee, get one for yourself, and Conrad," Wolfram said, since he was feeling generous.

To be Continued…