James Vega was pissed. Shepard had left him behind to go run off with Kaidan and Garrus after that beam. He was left behind to defend the FOB. Then the fucking Savior of the Citadel had managed to barely survive a massive explosion. Yeah, the Reapers were gone, but damn it, it wasn't supposed to be like this.

Kaidan watched James pacing back and forth. "Vega, go get out of your armor and take a shower."

James stopped and turned to Kaidan. "With all due respect, Sir, I'm not going anywhere until someone tells me whether or not he's going to make it." He started pacing again.

Kaidan sighed and shook his head. "James." He stood up and planted himself in the marine's path. "They're doing everything they can. It's not going to help Caleb any if you make yourself sick here." He raised his hands pleadingly. "You have to take care of yourself too."

James clenched his jaw and curled his hands into fists. "Alenko, don't you dare tell me what to do."

Kaidan lowered his hands. "Do you honestly think you're the only one here who loves him?" He lowered his gaze, completely letting his guard down. "I'd give anything to be in your place right now, James."

That brought James up short. He stared at Kaidan for a long moment, then shook his head. "Wait. What?"

Kaidan looked up at James. "When I turned my back on him on Horizon, I lost him. I didn't know it then, but when I saw how he looked at you, I knew I'd completely lost him. He moved on. I didn't." He shook his head. "If I have to knock you out cold and get you out of your armor and into a shower, I will, soldier. Now, please, for Caleb's sake, take care of yourself right now."

James stood there, finally relaxing his hands, looking down at them. "He left me behind. I begged him not to, you know. I fucking begged. I wanted to be there, to have his back." His voice caught and he couldn't speak anymore.

Kaidan nodded. "I know. He told me." He rested a hand on James' shoulder. "Come on. I'll help."

James nodded, eyes shining with unshed tears. "Okay." He let Kaidan lead him away.

An hour later, James was back in the waiting area, clean and in his usual off duty clothes. He fingered the dog tags around his neck. He sat down and leaned back, letting his mind wander.

Admiral Hackett had been less than pleased at Caleb's private request. James had been standing there nearby and watching. He wasn't sure that Hackett was going to grant them the one thing they wanted most.

"Please, Admiral. Please." Caleb had resorted to near begging. James couldn't help the twitching upward of his lips. He'd seen Caleb this way before and it almost always worked. Almost.

Hackett crossed his arms and looked at Caleb, eyes cold and stony. "Commander, I don't need to remind you of regulations. This is very much against them."

James couldn't help but smirk as Caleb had bristled at that. "Admiral, I don't need to remind you that I'm a Spectre. Right?"

Hackett was silent for a moment before shaking his head. "Commander, one of these days you're not going to have a comeback and I'll get the last word in."

Caleb smiled then. "I very seriously doubt that, sir."

Hackett looked over at James, then back to Caleb. "All right, but I have to ask, why now?"

Caleb shrugged. "We just want to belong to each other."

Hackett rubbed his chin, then nodded. "I can certainly understand that feeling right now, but you don't need to be married to do that."

James moved over to stand behind Caleb, slipping his arms around Caleb's chest. "We might not be alive this time tomorrow, sir. We don't want to take the chance that we won't have another opportunity come around."

Hackett nodded again, then relented completely. "It'll have to be quick. We have a war to win."

James toyed with the ring on his finger, twisting it around. He was alone in the waiting area with his thoughts.

Caleb had pulled him aside. "I don't want you going with me, Jimmy."

"What?" James took in a sharp breath. "No fucking way. I'm going with you."

Caleb shook his head. "No, Jimmy. You're not. I can't risk you. Not this time. I know you're a damned good soldier, but please, I can't lose you." He caressed James' cheek, then took his dog tags off, placing them around James' neck. "Keep these safe for me, mi amor. I'll be back for them."

James clasped at the tags, closing his eyes and nodding. He felt something being placed on his left ring finger and looked down at the simple gold band. "Mi corazón, I'm so sorry." He whispered as he looked up at Caleb.

"You left it behind." Caleb smiled faintly. "I don't want you to forget who you belong to, Jimmy Vega-Shepard."

"Te amo, mi corazón." James whispered against Caleb's lips right before he kissed him.

And that kiss had been the last one he'd shared with Caleb before the bastard had gone and gotten himself nearly killed. He was starting to drift into another memory when Cortez showed up. "Hey, James." Steve sat down next to James and handed him a package. "Thought you might want this."

James took the package and opened it. The scent of Huevos Rancheros hit him. He smiled faintly at Cortez. "Gracias, Esteban." The smile didn't touch his eyes and the words were flat.

Steve put his arm around James' shoulders. "Hey, he's going to be fine. Okay? He's a tough bastard. He's been through worse and come out okay." He rubbed James' back.

James barely nodded. He put the food aside and just leaned in against Steve. He sighed as he felt Steve's other arm around him and closed his eyes as he was held by his friend. "It's just killing me, not knowing, you know?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah, I do." James shuddered, then drew in a shaky breath. Steve squeezed James lightly. "Shh, James. It's going to be okay. I'm here if you need me."

James opened his eyes, pulled back, and looked at Steve. "I never understood why he loved me. He could have had Kaidan..." He frowned, then wiped angrily at a tear that spilled over.

Steve frowned and shook his head. "Hey, James. Who wouldn't love you? You're charming, funny, witty, have a great sense of humor, and damn, totally hot." He allowed a small smile. "If Shepard hadn't snatched you up, I probably would have."

James just stared at Steve blankly. "You mean that, Esteban?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah, I do, but listen, Shepard is going to be fine. You're going to be with him soon." He touched the ring on James' finger. "And the two of you got married. Yesterday, I might add. He's made that pretty clear. He loves you. Not Kaidan. Not me. You."

James looked at the ring, then nodded. "I keep trying to tell myself that, but what if..."

Steve put his hand over James' mouth. "No what ifs. None."

James barely nodded. "Okay," he mumbles under Steve's hand.

Steve lowered his hand. "Eat something, James. If not what I brought, then something."

James frowned. "First Kaidan, now you?"

Steve frowned as well. "What?"

James shook his head. "Kaidan threatened to knock me out and change me out of my armor and dump me in the shower if I didn't go do it on my own. It seems like everyone is more worried about me than about Caleb." He swiped another renegade tear away.

Steve rubbed James' back. "We are worried about you, James. When Shepard pulls through this, he's going to need you to be there for him. You can't do that if you make yourself sick by not taking care of yourself now."

James grumbled. "Yeah, Kaidan used that same reasoning."

Steve nodded. "And it's good reasoning. Now, eat." He points to the food.

James sighed and gave in. It may not be his grandma's, but it did smell good. Wasn't too bad either.

After ten hours of waiting, with intermitten periods of threats of being knocked unconscious if he didn't sleep, James finally got word. The head physician came to talk to him in the waiting room. He got to the word 'awake' before he tore off down the hallway. He knew he was being chased, but he didn't care.

Shepard was the only patient in the makeshift clinic in London right now. They'd set this place up specifically to treat him. When James came in, face red and gasping for breath, Shepard blinked and flinched.

James looked at Shepard and truly smiled for the first time in ten hours. His world came crashing down with four words. "Do I know you?"