I'm not part of the avengers, I never was, and probably never will be. I mean, I've been in the hellicarrier before and I know my way around some secret underground bases, but that's just because of my boyfriend – Patriot- you know- the son of Captain America and the Black Widow? He's amazing. We've loved each other since he saved me from Ultron's rule in Ultroncity.

...

"Hey Sugar." My hugged me. James had been out all day and had refused to tell me where.

"Hi James." I turned around to give him a kiss. His black and red uniform looked like it had been to hell and back.

"You're hurt! God, I told you! Take someone when you go out to beat up hopeless gang members. Or at least take me!" He laughed and went into the bathroom.

He was against discrimination of all sorts, and he really hated bullies.

"Want me to join you? I've missed you all day." I teased. The steam from the shower humidified the air.

James is as old-fashioned as his dad. We've been together for three years. I fastened my heels and stood up from my bureau.

"Haha, so funny. Get ready for the party." There was to be a big hoopla for the Next Avengers.. James and his adoptive sister and brothers are just awesome. Torunn is my best friend and I've been teaching her all the joys and pitfalls of bad reality TV. Pym and Azari are like my own brothers. Francis… is just Francis. He's like his dad, he's reclusive, and a lady killer, I wouldn't be surprised if he showed up at the party with two or three women… and spent the night with all of them.

"It's you I'm waiting for hot stuff." I went to clasp my necklace around my neck when James swooped in and did it for me, I pressed up against him in his suit.

"Pretty as a picture." He said in reference to our reflection.

"Mhmm," I picked up my clutch and walked with James to the mess hall.

"Heyyyyy lil' Cap." Clint Barton hollered from where he was standing with his wife, Bobbi. Francis was sitting his feet propped up on the table. Torunn ran over to me excitedly, as she hugged me hello she said,

"Best Friend Mattie! I have found a verily great example of a- what was that word again? Oh that is right a… Douche Bag." I laughed.

"Is that right? Who?" James shook his head and walked over to talk to Director Fury.

She looked around to see if anyone was listening in. "Francis." She whispered like it was a big secret.

"Wow, ok, what'd he do this time?" He's been head over heels for Torunn since the day he met her in Ultron city.

"He's acting like that man off of the documentary series… The Shore of New Jersey." I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, I'll go rough him up, Jwoww style." Pym bounced over to me, happy and bubbly.

"Miss Mattie, may I have this dance?" He used his powers to grow up to my size.

"Sure, Henry." His mom and dad laughed together and went to talk to Clint and Bobbi.

Francis launched a fork at James' head when he leaned in to kiss me after the last dance. I shot him a look that would curdle milk.

I walked over to him and threw the fork at his face as he grabbed it, his mom and dad backed away, I'd looked up Clint and he knows it's best to leave an angry woman alone.

"What's your problem, Barton?" he smirked at me.

"Why, whatever do you mean, Ms. LeBeau?" I took a deep breath.

"Why do you feel the need to interrupt James and I by being such a douche bag ?"

"Why do you think I care about you and Mr. Stars and Stripes?" He picked up the fork again, twirling it around his fingers. I took it back and stabbed it into the table to my pleasure, it stuck.

"Answer me, Francis." I spat. James came over to tell me not to make a scene. I walked away and back to our rooms.

James was asleep. I snuck out, I was really full of pent up anger… at nothing really. I was finally going to try it. I was going to start my training to see if that would make me feel better about not being super powered.

"Going somewhere, M?" James was leaning in his doorway, in his boxers. I cringed and turned around.

"If I say I'm going to get some tampons, will you let me leave?" He gave me this stupid, infuriating look that says 'I'm tired of this shit and you need to just stop, but I'm too nice to say it'.

"Mattie, where are you going? Fury and Hill told you after the last time, you aren't supposed to go out alone." He was referring to the incident in which I caused one of the computer stations to shut down and caused a massive blackout on three decks of the carrier.

"James, I love you." I sauntered over to him, trying to seduce him. I bit my lip, and twisted my fingers in his hair. I kissed him deeply. I reached around him and knotted my fingers in his hair.

"Stop, you know how I feel about that." I pushed him away from me.

"What's you problem?" I snapped. I slammed my door shut. I wouldn't go out tonight.

"I'm sorry." I slid the bacon and eggs onto the plate in front of James. "For last night, I don't know what was wrong with me." He picked up his fork and started eating.

"Where were you even planning on going?" He asked between bites.

"I just wanted to go… fight or shot stuff I guess." I shrugged and put the pan in the sink. Sitting down across from him sipping my orange juice… I waited for a reaction.

"Why? I can protect you, you're safe here." I wanted to be like his mother… well after she came to S.H.E.I.L.D. I wanted to kick ass and take names.

"It's not that, I just feel like… I'm trapped and I need to be able to stand on my own two feet and deal out some serious ass whoopings." He stopped eating and stood up.

"C'mon then," He scraped off his plate and put it in the sink.

"What?" I stood up.

"You want to fight then we'll go fight." He went in his room to get his shield projector.

...

"No, like this," he showed me the correct stance and I tried again to swipe him off his feet again. He blocked it and I fell to the ground.

"Shit! I can't get this James, can we just move on?" I said, infuriated. He stood over me with his hand outstretched to help me up. I took it and pulled him down on top of me. I was hot and sweating, but he was calm and not even breathing irregularly. I kissed him. Kissing me back, he put his hands on either side of my head and pushed me back down against the floor. An arrow whizzed right above us and landed solidly in the mat.

"Hey, Spangly, this is a training facility, not a bedroom, get up and finish your fight or get out and finish your business somewhere else." It was none other than the magnificent Francis. Something in his tone just really pissed me off. I got up and pulled the arrow out of the target and stomped over to him. I got up in his face and growled. James walked over and took the arrow out of my hand. Francis dropped his bow and grabbed my face and kissed me. James pulled him off of me and hit him as hard as he possibly could.

"James!" I screamed. They were both rolling around on the ground and hitting each other as hard as they possibly could, James had the upper hand. Azari and Pym ran in and pulled them apart. I ran to James and hugged him.

"Are you okay?" I whispered. I was about to cry- which was stupid he's been in worse fights before. He kissed my forehead.

"Are you?" I could see the fury in his eyes.

I took James' hand and went back to our quarters.

...

That night I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about the fight.

And the kiss.

Mostly the kiss, because I hated myself, I really hated myself because I liked it.

...

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