Chapter 1: Again, why?

Author's note: It's getting hard to write a full-blown story these days. I'm sorry the story is too short. It's all I could come up with. I wanted to try my hand at writing a BatFlash fan fic again. Here we are. It takes place after "Wild Cards." Update: Chapters one and two condensed. Tell me if I need to correct any errors. Thanks for reading!

"Thanks for teaching me how to disarm a bomb, Bats. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you."

"Don't mention it. Next time I won't be able to save you. When that day comes, you must rely on yourself." Batman sulked off to the distance leaving Flash behind.

"Hey, hold up!" Flash called out.

The Dark Knight twisted around on his feet. "Yes, Wally?"

"I was wondering if we could hang out tonight." The speedster scratched the back of his neck, appearing nervous to the stoic billionaire. "Just as friends?"

The air fell silent around them, Wally grew more uncomfortable by the minute as he waited for Bruce to reply….to answer.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the metaphorical fog around them lifted.

"I'd like that." He returned.

The Flash clasped his hands together. "Great! I promise you'll have the best day of your life. We could go to the movies, or that diner I've been dying to visit for the past week….or…" His voice trailed off as Batman stared him down.

"Why don't we keep this short and simple. This isn't a date, Wallace."

The speedster's cheeks flushed bright red. "Right, uh, wanna chill at my place and watch football?"

"Be there at 7 'O clock sharp. I expect you to be there when I arrive."

"Sure thing! I gotta go, looks like Central needs me…."

Flash attempted to make his grand escape, but stopped short upon hearing Batman ordering him to come back.

"Flash, you're not leaving."

"And why not?"

"You have watch duty with me in t-minus three minutes."

The speedster groaned. "But…."

"No excuses."

"I need time to get ready to prepare my apartment for a certain house guest!"

Batman rolled his eyes. "It's 9am. You can do that after you're done keeping watch on the monitors."

"When does that end?"

"Around 4pm. J'onn and Shayera will cover Central City, you're staying with me until we're both finished with our shift."

Wally sped to the nearest chair. "Why do you have to be such a killjoy?"

"Who said I was fun?" He bitterly replied. "Focus. We've got areas to monitor."

Chapter 2: This Is It

Half an hour passed by as the duo continued watching the screen for any criminal activity. Batman, completely ignoring Flash's attempt at conversation, set his eyes on one of the screens to the far left focusing on Metropolis. Seeing as Superman had everything handled with his latest battle with Luthor, he shifted his gaze towards the other screens.

Absolutely nothing worth calling attention to when the rest of the League had the situations under control.

"Bats…." The obviously disinterested speedster groaned loudly. "Can I take a break? Nothing has happened for the past half hour. I'm sure the world can wait."

"Go ahead." Batman gave Wally one last glare. "If you don't return, I will find you."

"What makes you….Never mind. Be back in a flash!"

Flash dispersed faster than it took the average human to blink.

"This is going to be a long day." Batman activated his com-link. "J'onn?"

The green Martian immediately answered. "What is it that you inquire?"

"How much of this do I have to take?"

"You have until the end of your shift, Batman. My advice would be for you to actually talk to Flash instead of brooding in your seat." Batman's slits narrowed. "I'm not brooding."

The dark knight could not see the Martian smile, yet he deduced from the alien's tone that J'onn was highly amused by his friend trapped with Wally on watch duty. "Of course you're not. I have to go."

Batman shut off the com-link when he heard the papers rustle beside him. "I'm sure you heard the entire conversation?"

The Flash casually rested his arm on the surface next to Batman. "Like he said, the day will go by much faster if you actually talk."

"What in the hell do you want me to say?"

A frown cast upon Wally's face. "If you're going to be that way, you can say nothing at all. Unless you change your attitude, we can play twenty questions."

Batman tapped away at the keyboard. "Wally, I don-"

"Too bad; I'm bored, you're bored. Let's do something to pass the time. I'll start."

"Oh joy."

"C'mon, Bats. Ask me a personal question, an embarrassing one. I'm sure you might enjoy making me look like a fool."

"You do a good job at doing that yourself." Batman returned with a quip remark.

"You do a good job at being a jerk."

"Touché."

"Enough chit chat, I'll go first." Wally racked his mind for a suitable question. "Have you been set up on a blind date before? Were they not what you expected them to be?"

"Here we go…."

"That's not an answer. I got all day."

"And I got a taser."

Flash rolled his eyes. "Whatever. You will not hurt me. Just give me an answer and you can ask me anything."

The speedster gently leaned back casually in his chair. "And by anything, I mean ask me my darkest secret. The answer could surprise you." Wally waggled his eyebrows at Batman.

Bruce ignored it. "I have been on one. Remember Poison Ivy?"

Wally gasped. "What? No. Yes I remember her, the one that's obsessed with plant life?"

Batman nodded. "Back then she was known as Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley. It was a few years back in Gotham City and Alfred convinced me to take the fiery red-haired woman on a date. Since I went as myself, I thought nothing of her background as would Batman would have immediately noticed the 'red' flags."

"What happened?"

"Let's just say she poisoned my drink, almost getting away with killing me had I not had an antidote in my pocket. As soon as the cure took effect, she disappeared. I managed to place a tracer on her before she infected me with an extract from her plants."

"Did you get her back? ….As Batman, not Bruce Wayne."

Bruce smirked. "Of course I did. She almost got me a second time at a different location, but I managed to win and turned her in to the authorities."

"I'm impressed. You go on a date with Ivy and she ends up in shackles. Perfect love story if you ask me." Wally playfully jabbed Batman in the shoulder. He sent the speedster a quick glare to which the Flash knew had no meaning behind it. Bruce then proceeded to search his mind for the most humiliating question to ask the Scarlet Speedster. After a few seconds, the Dark Knight turned to Wally whom gave Bruce a questionable expression. "Well?" He inquired. "Gonna ask me a question or what?"

"Why ask when I have the answer?"

Flash frowned. "You're Batman, you have all the answers. But wouldn't it be fun finding out, verifying the question?"

"You have a point." Batman got out of his chair and stalked towards the door. "Unfortunately, its break time, and I don't want to play this game."

"Wait, Bats! You're gonna leave me here alone?" Wally zoomed towards the Dark Knight. "We could finish this at my place."

Batman raised an eyebrow.

Wally instantly retracted his words. "No, no, no! Not like that. I just wanna go back home already and get ready for us to hang out. We can find out about our past and such in a more neutral environment."

"Fair enough, I'll radio J'onn to have Superman and Hawkgirl take our shifts over."

"They're finished with their mission?"

"Yes. Go ahead and transport back home. I'll meet you at the allotted time."

"That's almost six hours from now!"

Bruce turned to his side, facing Wally's general direction. "Do want us to meet sooner?"

Wally self-consciously rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh...yea, I do."

"Go home then. I'll meet you soon."

Wally took off in a flash before returning briefly. "How soon is 'soon'?"

"Go before I change my mind."

"Why did I invite him over here?" Wally paced around the spacious living room in his apartment, running circles around the both the TV and the couch. 'How am I supposed to keep Bruce entertained? Better yet, how am I supposed to keep a freaking billionaire from succumbing to boredom?' he thought.

The scarlet speedster's recent frustration was driving him to the point of insanity. During the monitor shift, Wally contemplated on escaping Bruce entirely. But no, his big mouth had to invite him over to his one bedroom apartment.

'Why can't I figure out a way to shut up?' He quickly organized the living room before crashing on the sofa. 'Bats, you're going to despise me. Will he stay long enough before dying of boredom?' The speedster sighed. 'At least it's as friends.'

And so he would like to think…

Several hours later, Wally prepared snacks on the table consisting of your regular foods consumed when watching a football game. Nachos, two liters of Pibb and a plate full of cheese sticks. All would have been set had he not consumed the food in a flat three seconds. Deciding to scrap (note: eat all) the snacks on the table and opting for something a little fancier than previously thought out, Wally brought out a bottle of wine. Granted that it was cheap, white wine and not a bottle of 1978 Montrachet, anything with alcohol proved worthy for his upcoming hang out with Batman.

Let's face it: Bruce can make anyone nervous. Specifically, he makes Flash quiver like no tomorrow.

When the clock struck four, Wally donned his red Flash-centric pajamas and a matching t-shirt before heading to the door. Flash opened it to make sure Bruce didn't try to intrude without knocking first. Almost turning back, a black shadow tackled him, pinning him to the wall.

"Get o-" He attempted to scream as a rag smelling of chloroform covered his nostrils and mouth. Mere seconds past as his metabolism sped up the process, causing him to fall in a deep slumber. Everything faded to black thereafter. Before his body gave in, he got one last glimpse of his captor.

Joker.

"How ya feeling' little Flashybird, does it hurt?"

"Uhh."

"Wakey wakey, Mista J gonna spanky…."

The last thing Central City's hero recalled was preparing to answer the door to check if Bruce decided to make his standard sneak-up-on-you-to-deter-you entrance. Instead, the Joker landed a swift punch to the left side of his face…and an added dose of fear gas. Thankfully, his hyper-accelerated metabolism got rid of the poison out of his system when he woke up just in time to find Joker preparing to hit him with a crow bar.

"Wait!" Wally screamed.

"Oh and why should I?" Joker sent a pressing glare to the speedster, causing him to flinch slightly.

"Any minute now, the Justice League is going to kick your butt."

"What makes you think they'll rescue a civilian? Oh, wait…." He clasped his hands together. "You're no ordinary person."

Wally gave him a questionable stare. "I'm not?"

The Joker's mischievous grin increased. "Nope, sources say you're no other than the Flash himself."

Flash's eyes widened in shock before returning to his original poker face, he didn't want the enemy knowing the astonished emotion further proved the answer is correct. "That's a lie."

"We'll see about that. In the meantime, I'm going to resume my plan on beating you with this crow bar."

"Sounds a little cliché, doesn- Hey, watch it!" The red-haired man received a blow to the left leg. Moreover, another causing Wally to howl, feeling the blow barely cracking the bones underneath his kneecap. "Is that all you got? C'mon, take your best shot!"

Unsurprisingly, the mad man did not stop there. Not one, two, but three strikes toward Flash's abdomen and one uppercut to the jaw proved enough for the Joker to halt his heinous crimes for a few moments for the Charlatan to gloat. "That's not all I can do."

"Give me your best shot, in a matter of minutes, Bats will rescue me, and you'll be back in Arkham."

"Oh really, 'one who rides the lightning'…trust me, I won't be back anytime soon. Looking to buy time?" he said, raising the weapon. "We got plenty of time. Get ready for your close up."

Wally gulped. 'Where's Bats when you need him?'

"Alfred I can drive myself."

"Master Bruce, with all due respect, I'd rather do the driving than have you sneak up on your date with Master Wallace."

Bruce rolled his eyes. "It's not a date."

Alfred continued driving down the street leading to Wally's apartment in Central City. "Call it what you want, sir. If I say so myself, Master Wallace would not go through all this trouble to get you to come to his house as 'friends'. I say it's more of an affair than a play date."

Bruce watched the local bar fade as they made a swift right turn. "Alfred," he warned. "He merely invited me over and I accepted. End of story."

"Sorry Master Bruce. I find it odd that you, a brooding bat, actually considered stepping out of his comfort zone just to pay a colleague a visit."

"I did it to be nice." He answered. Alfred grinned in return. "Out of pure kindness, I see." The butler pulled the car closer to the curb before coming to an abrupt halt. "We're here Master Bruce."

Alfred turned around, sighing at the empty presence. "Gone without a trace, you're always one to blend in with the shadows." He shrugged as he put the car back into gear, beginning the journey to return the airport nearby if he needed to return quickly in case of an emergency.

Bruce climbed in via Wally's open window in his one bedroom apartment close to the kitchen. Finding that all the lights currently shut off, Batman took the steps toward Wally's bedroom in stride, pacing to the next available area when the familiar redhead was not there.

"Empty." He growled. Immediately, he took off his suite, revealing the Batman costume underneath. He slipped the cowl on and found the nearest switch to illuminate the living room region. A single broken bottle of wine that appeared to be the same type you would purchase in your typical liquor store, a couch flipped upside down, and bloodstains on the carpet.

"Flas-….Wally!" He yelled.

Complete silence.

…Until he heard a subtle click and the Dark Knight was suddenly on alert. No explosions, only the TV which now projected a familiar playing card instead of a blank screen, a recognizable card in which he saw before heading out to disarm a specific enemy's bombs.

It was of a…Joker. Batman narrowed his eyes at the broadcast. 'I thought Ace finished him.'

More on cue than coincidence, no other than Gotham's most insane criminal popped up in front of the background with his infamous wide-grin. The camera panned and zoomed out showing a bruised and beaten Wally suspended in chains and shackles constraining him. "Hello Bat-guano. Did you miss me, or did you miss him?"

Batman bared his teeth, "What do you want?"

The pale-faced clown howled. "What else do you think I want, Batsy? I want to make you fight with a reason. And this time, I hit the jackpot."

Wally stirred about; raising his head from the shackles Joker confined him. He blinked once, twice, as he registered the scenario around him. What appeared to be was the set Joker was in during the time they disarmed the bombs in Vegas. At first glance, Flash did not believe it to be the same location, but now it may just be in the City of Sin. On the other hand, his second hunch about it being not far from home and a carbon copy of the set could be spot on. Would the Joker actually be this determined to travel thousands of miles away from Central to tell Bruce he has his frie-comrade?

Wally did not feel like spending countless seconds thinking about it. He had to escape, and escape fast.

Ahead of the speedster, he saw Batman's image projected on the main screen. "Bats?"

The Joker turned around, facing the battered hero. "You do know each other! How delightful, makes this much easier than introducing each other."

"Yea, what of it?" he replied back. "What's the worst you can do? Reveal both our identities?"

"I assumed the crowbar would have shut you up." the clown grimaced, heading to the main control room displaying the various cameras around….Gotham.

'Wait, why Gotham?'

Wally's eyes followed the criminal. Inside the fastest man alive tried to catch up to Joker's plan and what stunt he might play next. However, on the outside, he kept calm. He didn't want the murderous psychopath catching him figuring it out. Unfortunately, Joker caught him staring.

"Wondering what I'm up to, lightning man?" Joker rushed back to Wally closing the distance between them bringing a dagger close to Flash' throat. "Keep on guessing and I'll slit your throat."

"You're bluffing." he spat.

Joker flinched, bringing the knife to the redhead's throat drawing a sliver of blood out. "Try me."

Wally forced a smile. "If you kill me now, Bats won't hesitate and you'll be resting in a shallow grave. By all means, go ahead. It's your funeral."