2D sat in the hospital waiting room with his face buried in his hands. He was barely aware of noodles hand on his shoulder or russles nervous pacing. none of the hustle and bustle of the hospital around him mattered. All he could see behind his closed eyes was the image of murdocs body shaking. Why? Why would he..? did he really feel that miserable? That alone? The singer feels the older mans occasional twitching and whimpers as he holds murdocs head in his lap on the way to the hospital. The bassist could hardly argue with the fact that he was even touching him at the moment. Just his luck that the closest 2D had evergott

"What the hell is going on in there? The damn doctors should have told us something by now."

"We just have to patient russel-san. They will speak to us as just soon as they can."

Every few seconds murdocs lips would move trying to speak but failing to form the right words. 2D attempts a reassuring smile and brushed the older mans bangs off his sweaty forehead. "It's a'right luv we almost there." His voice cracking near the end of the sentence betraying the worry he feels.

"Bullshit we been for an hour! Nurse wont even tell me what room he's in!"

"And yelling will not help that! Russel-san please sit down."

He leaned his head toward the window as he felt the bassist squeeze his hand, trying to see if the hospital was anywere in the distance. Looking back down at his best mate as the man gaspes , and taking him by surprise as murdoc rolls on to his side and gags. Like he was trying to throw up, but nothing would come out…..

"Fine, fine sorry… hows D doing?

"I am not sure. He still will not speak."

He feels murdoc start to tremble and soon the bassists body was shaking again. "No no no." he mutters, trying to hold murdoc down, stop him from hurting himself. The older mans head jerks up and the cut around Muds neck starts bleeding again, staining the hand towel he had been holding there to stop it after they found him. "Russ I cant 'old 'im!" "its ok calm down 'D im pulling in, we here." Russels voice is calm but he can tell. Russ is just as shocked as the rest of them. Shocked that murdoc would ever...could ever….

2D didn't relize he was crying until he felt noodle reach over and brush away the tears on his cheeks. he looked over at her as she gave him a sad smile that failed to make him feel any better. All he could see was murdocs eyes when 2D found him.

Bloodshot. Distant. Like they were gazeing into his own little world. And almost….happy.

He focused on noodles face and, his voice cracking as he said it, asked "why?"

Noodle leaned back in the her chair and gave a tired sigh. "I do not think any of us can claim to understand how murdoc-sans mind works." She said after a moment, and the tone of her voice made 2D realize just how tired the little girl was. "But if I know him at all, I believe that if he did intend to..take his o-own life, it was for a good reason."

They were all silent for awhile and 2D looked around at the other people in the waiting area. The other lives on pause, waiting, worrying. Some wanting information and some just wanting to see their loved ones faces. And some, like him, wanted both.

"Excuse me, you three are here for Mr. Niccals, yes?"

While his bandmates immediately bombarded the poor nurse with questions, 2D stayed silent, his gaze caught on the man sitting on the other side of the room.

Dark brown hair,green eyes so bright they were almost neon, and a little black stud on the right side of his nose. Couldn't have been more than twenty-five. And as 2D stared the man caught his gaze and raised an eyebrow at him. Horrified that he had been caught and blushing like a bitch, the singer quickly dropped his head and hunched his shoulders in a hopeless attempt to make his six foot stature smaller and hide. Unable to resist for long though, 2D lifted his head slightly and peeked through his hair at the other side of the room. oh my god hes still looking at me, he thought and the blush on his face grew (along with something a little more below the belt) as the man gave him a crooked half-smile.

"Toochie? Are you ready?"

2D jumped at the sound of her voice and turned to face the smaller Japanese girl. "Wot?"

"We are allowed to see murdoc-san now." She said looking up at him with a bit of concern. "Are you ready or do you need a little more time?"

"Oh..oh n-no im ok." And as they walked down the bright white hallway, he felt the guilt settle into the pit of his stomach. What the hell was he doing? Here he was flirting while just down the hall murdoc was probably hooked up to a life support or something. This was the man he loved and he was practically betraying him.

Except he doesn't love you.

And try as he might he couldn't stop the depressing thought from tumbling around his mind over and over as they trudged down the hall to find out the fate of their friend