A/N: If you haven't read Regret and Remember already, do so before reading this.
Redemption
Tigress turned over in her bed. She didn't know why she was still trying to sleep after lying there for hours. It wasn't like she had to be rested; the gong wasn't going to sound for morning training.
Shifu's death had had an effect on the entire Valley. An overall feeling of mourning had fallen among the villagers. Things seemed gray and somber.
It had been four days already, but in Tigress' mind it had just happened seconds ago. She could still see it. Her heart ached terribly, and the thought of his broken and lifeless body lying at the bottom of that chasm caused the knot in her stomach to twist and turn constantly. It was nearly too much for her to take. Nothing—not even the revelation at the peach tree the night before that he had let go for her sake—had numbed the pain of his absence. If anything, it made it worse.
Tigress felt her eyes water. She knew she was being selfish. Closing herself off from the others when she knew they were hurting too. She was the leader of the Five and a mentor to Po. They were all looking to her now for some guidance; for what to do now. But Tigress wasn't that strong at this point. She couldn't help it; she couldn't get passed it. She had never felt more empty and alone then she had these past few days.
The tiger sat up suddenly and quickly brushed her hand across her eyes to rid them of the tears that now spilled out. She felt so overwhelmed by the burdens that were now hers she didn't know what to do.
"I'm suffocating in here," she said quietly, not wanting to wake the others. She didn't want to speak to anyone, not right now.
Taking in a shaken breath Tigress stood up and went to the window. The spring air always seemed sweeter at night, and this night was no exception. It had always been Shifu's favorite time of the year, when everything came alive again and you could almost taste the cherry and peach blossoms. It was true that Tigress had never heard him say so, but she had observed the subtle change of mood that would come over him whenever spring arrived. Even in the days when she was a cub and the memory of Tai Lung still haunted Shifu's mind, the first tree blossoms that emerged would lift the red panda's spirit just enough for a slight, half-hearted smile to briefly appear…but back then it was a smile only the trees would see.
Tigress shook her head. She kept seeing a shadow of him in the corner of her vision. She kept hearing an echo of his voice on the wind, and ever she thought she heard him say her name.
She couldn't stay inside any longer; she felt she'd go mad if she did. Using all of her natural stealth she silently and effortlessly climbed out of the window and walked off into the night unnoticed.
With the moon as her only companion Tigress found herself walking the silent, empty streets of the Valley. She used to do this every night when she was a cub. The solitude of the nighttime had always brought comfort and strength to her somehow.
She really had no destination in mind; she just wanted to clear her head. She knew she would have to come to terms with the fact that Shifu was dead, but the very thought made her feel like a helpless cub and filled her with a fierce dread.
Tigress suddenly felt like her legs were going to give out. She leaned her back against a wall of the nearby building and slowly slid to the ground, overcome and feeling defeated. Tears poured out and she started to tremble. Quickly she brought her hand up over her mouth to hold back the sobs. Her hand slid down to her heart and she slowly rocked back and forth and began to softly hum a melody that she had heard Shifu often play on his flute when she was younger. Several minutes went by, and as she sat in the silence and tried to calm herself she quickly became aware of another's presence. Tigress felt anger spring up in her chest. Which one of them had dared to follow her at this point? She gave a low hiss.
"Po," she growled, "if that's you go back to the palace, now."
Silence.
The tiger sighed in frustration before getting to her feet and turning towards the shadows. "Po," she said again, this time in a softer tone. "Please, I just need to be alone."
Silence.
Tigress opened her mouth again, ready to berate the panda for still being there when she abruptly stopped. She was alone. A single peach blossom petal appeared from the shadows. Floating lightly on the soft breeze it crossed her line of sight. She watched it gently spin in place for a moment before the wind brought it to her. It just barely brushed her cheek before circling around her once and continuing on. She continued to watch the petal until the breeze carried it out of sight, and still she stared off in the direction it had gone.
"Tigress…"
Tigress nearly gasped and her eyes went wide at the sound of the voice behind her. She turned slowly, hardly able to keep from shaking; afraid she might not see anything at all. She took in a sharp breath and her eyes filled with tears as she took in the sight, barley breathing the name of the one before her.
"Sh-Shifu?"
The red panda smiled at her and gave a slight nod.
Tigress could hardly believe it. There he stood, plain as the moon itself. She went forward, dropped to her knees and pulled him into a hug. At first she was terrified that her imagination had run away with her and that Shifu would disappear into thin air, but he didn't. This was no phantom or trick of the mind. She could feel him hugging her in return. It was really him!
As if reading her thoughts Shifu gave a somber chuckle. "Yes, I'm really here."
After a long moment Tigress' eyes opened and she slowly pulled away. She looked at her Master with a questioning stare. "I don't understand," she said quietly. "How did you survive?"
Shifu looked painfully into her eyes that were still damp from the tears. His heart broke at the thought of what he had to tell her. The red panda shook his head. "I didn't…"
Tigress could feel her heart, which just a moment ago had swelled with joy, rend and shatter. But he was here…in flesh and blood…how could he be here like this and not have lived?
"But…I don't see—"
Shifu held up a hand, cutting her off. "I know you don't. Truth be told, I'm not even sure exactly how, but it's not important. I can't stay long; Oogway said I would only have until morning." Seeing the look on Tigress' face he decided to quickly get her mind away from the topic. "Let's not think about it now. Come, let's walk. There's a lot to talk about."
Shifu began walking down the street. Tigress stared after him for several seconds before getting to her feet and joining him.
Even though Shifu had said there was a lot to talk about, for a long time the two of them said nothing to each other. They were content to walk in silence and enjoy one another's company for a while.
While they were still each with their own thoughts a painful question came into Tigress' mind. "So…you didn't survive?"
"I'm afraid not. I was given just these few hours to be here…to see you one more time."
Tigress thought she would choke asking the question that was haunting her. "Did…you didn't suffer…did you?"
"No," Shifu said quickly to reassure her and put her at ease, for she was clearly burdened by the thought. "I didn't even feel it. It was instant…"
Tigress gave an inward sigh of shear relief. She had feared this entire time that Shifu may have survived his fall and could've been rescued. It made her sick to think that he might have lain there in pain, dying slowly.
Shifu could feel her relief. Wanting to take her mind off of it the red panda Master suddenly spoke. "I didn't know you remembered that song…"
Tigress looked down at him. "What song?"
"The one you were humming. I would play it when I knew you were listening."
This statement surprised Tigress a little. She had never realized he knew she would sneak out of her room at night to listen to him play. Of course, she thought, I should've figured that he would've known.
Catching her surprised expression, Shifu smiled mischievously. "There's a lot I knew about."
Tigress returned his smile. Then playfully raising her brow she looked at him suspiciously. "Oh?" she said, trying to seem innocent.
The red panda chuckled. "Just because I wasn't always watching doesn't mean I didn't know about the antics you five sometimes pulled. I know for a fact that Po was not the first one to try and see how many bean buns he could fit into his mouth. I trust Monkey wasn't too disappointed that his record was beaten."
Tigress was a little embarrassed that her Master was aware of both bean bun incidences. Just how he knew of either of them she was sure would remain a mystery. "I suppose you knew I put both of them up to it…"
"No, but thank you for telling me."
"In my defense I was board on both occasions."
Both of them laughed. Neither of them had laughed in a long time, and neither one of them could remember having ever actually laughed together. It was a realization that hit both of them at the same time, and it was more than sobering.
They both continued on, silent once more.
"You know," Tigress said after a while. "I used to come out here every night when I was a child and walk the streets."
Shifu nodded. "Yes, I knew that too."
"You did?"
"Yes. I would follow you to make sure nothing happened."
The thought had never struck Tigress. She had known in her heart that Shifu did care about her, but, especially as a child, she'd never considered that Shifu had really ever worried about her safety.
"The truth is," Shifu said after Tigress gave no reply. "The first time you did it I was sick with anxiety. You looked lost; like you were thinking of running away. I…I couldn't bear the thought of losing another child. And yet I knew I would've had no right to try and stop you, not after being so cold to you." Shifu stopped walking but didn't look up. "I was so relieved when you started making your way back to the Jade Palace that I almost called out to you. But still in my own selfish pain I couldn't bring myself to show you that kind of affection. After that I followed you every night, just to make sure you were safe and you weren't running away…" here he finally looked up at Tigress. "I regret now never calling out to you…things might have been different."
"Shifu, I understood why you were the way you were. I never did blame you."
"You should've. You were everything to me. I kept a distance because I did love you, and I feared for you. I just couldn't look beyond myself to see the pain I was causing…I'm so sorry I never told you how much I loved you. I wronged you…I wronged you and I robbed you."
Tigress was silent. She wasn't sure how to respond to this. Ever since Oogway had told her about Tai Lung she had become accepting of Shifu and how he acted. It still hurt her, but she had accepted it. Until Shifu had died, she'd never thought about how much she longed to hear him say these things to her. Now that she was hearing them, she wasn't sure what to say. Knowing these things to be true was one thing, but actually hearing them was something else entirely.
"The first time I sneaked out," said Tigress, remorse in her voice. "I was planning on running away. But something held me back. It was like I just couldn't make myself do it. I think it was because of you…how sad you seemed. The next night, Master Oogway told me about Tai Lung and everything that happened. Until then, I had always thought there was something wrong with me; that I was making you unhappy. After I learned the truth, all I wanted to do was prove myself to you…to earn your love."
Shifu looked at her, mortified; his blue eyes betraying the pain he felt at her words. Tigress looked away, ashamed at what she had just admitted.
"That's why…" Shifu began, his eyes watering and his voice nearly choking. "That's why you pushed yourself so hard…why you nearly…" The red panda shook his head and turned away, blinking away the tears that were still forming as he began to walk.
"Nearly what?" Tigress asked, still standing in place.
Shifu stopped and turned back to her. "You don't remember?" When Tigress shook her head he gave a sigh. He walked over to a large rock and rested against it.
"I was by the Peach Tree the night you spoke with Oogway. I didn't hear all that was said; I had stopped listening when I heard him telling you about Tai Lung. After that I noticed every day you were pushing yourself harder and harder. I saw it, but I never stopped it. I let you push yourself, unaware of just how hard you were really working. It couldn't have been more than two weeks later, I could tell something was wrong. You weren't yourself that day. You couldn't focus and your eyes were dull. You collapsed…right in front of me. My heart stopped, I was so terrified I couldn't even think. You were burning with fever and almost completely lifeless. You were so ill we didn't think you'd live. That whole time I couldn't bring myself to leave your side."
Tigress was stunned. She remembered once being sick…but she didn't know she had been near death. She shook her head. "That can't be. I know I was sick, but by that night and I was fine. I remember I woke up thirsty and went to the kitchen for water. But I was alone; no one was with me when I awoke."
"No. You were asleep for four days. I stayed with you until your fever broke. When it finally did I was so overcome with relief that all I could do was sit by your bed and cry. I wanted so much in that moment just to be the father you needed and deserved, and I hated myself for not being able to do it." Shifu looked up at Tigress, who was doing her best to hold her tears back. "I was there when you woke up. I hadn't slept the entire time…when I knew you were going to be all right I let my exhaustion get the better of me. I sat down in the corner to rest my eyes, but I fell asleep. When I woke up again it was evening, and you weren't in your bed. I looked for you and found you sitting by yourself in the kitchen."
Tigress watched her Master as he sat. He looked as if the weight of his entire life had suddenly fallen on him at once. It tore into her heart like shards of glass.
"I never realized the reason you pushed yourself like," he said. His voice sounded so frail it was as if something was crushing his chest and he had to fight to get the words out. "Now I can see just how much was my fault. My pride…it blinded me to Tai Lung, but my pain blinded me to you." He looked at Tigress now, tears streaming down his face. "I almost killed my own daughter. Please; please tell me you can forgive me."
Shifu was shaking now; the knowledge of what his choices had almost caused attacked him mercilessly. Tigress walked to him, her steps nearly silent. She got to her knees to be eye level with him. They looked at each other; Shifu was almost desperate for her to say something. Tigress, seeing this in his eyes, placed her hand on his to comfort him.
"I already did," she said softly.
Shifu, released from his guilt by her words, hung his head. Father embraced daughter, grateful for the chance to do so. "Oh my little girl…I'm sorry I was so far away."
They stayed there in the solace of that moment for as long as they were able.
Later they continued their walk. They soon found themselves back at the Jade Palace, seated next to the peach tree. They sat across from each other, talking about nothing in particular. Happy things, serious things, things they had never confided to anyone else.
They watched the stars for a while. Shifu pointed out several of them and told stories of how he had learned to navigate by them.
"I used to bring Tai Lung out here all the time," he said fondly as the memory played through his mind. He pointed to the right at a blue-white star. "That one was his favorite."
Tigress smiled as she followed his gaze to the star. When she was young she had always wanted Shifu to take her stargazing like this. When she turned back to him she found he was looking in the opposite direction at the moon. "Shifu?"
"I was just watching the moon…the night will be gone soon." They both knew what that meant, and neither of them wanted to dwell on the thought.
"Shifu?"
"Hm?"
"Why that song?"
"Why what song?"
"The one you said you used to play when you knew I was listening. Why did you play it for me?"
Shifu thought for a few seconds, as if he himself had to search for the answer. "I think it was the only way I could find to reach out to you. I played it hoping it might bring you some kind of comfort…the comfort I myself just couldn't manage to give you."
Tigress smiled slightly. "I always loved that song. I just thought it was coincidence that you played it while I listened." She sighed. "And believe it or not, it did comfort me…a great deal….Shifu?"
"Yes?"
"Why did you let go? I mean, I know why…but what made you decide not to try?"
Shifu looked at her before looking at the ground. He reached forward and took her hand in his and placed his other hand on top. "Because I had already taken so much away from you, I couldn't risk taking any more. I knew if I tried, neither of us would've lived."
Tigress nodded, eyes watering a little. "But I wanted you to…"
"I know…" he said, keeping hold of her hand. "And I know it doesn't seem possible now, but I promise it will get better with time. You'll smile again, you'll laugh again…and you won't have to think about doing it. You'll be able to continue your journey without me. The world moves on, and so will you."
Tigress shook her head. "That's not true. We still need you. I still need you…"
Shifu gave her a half smile. "Oh Tigress…I'll never be able to redeem myself for what I've done in my life. Letting go was the one thing I ever really did for you." He put a hand on her cheek. "I wish that weren't so, but it's the truth. I know you're afraid, but I let go of life, I never let go of you."
Suddenly Shifu's hand flew to his chest and he took in a short breath through clenched teeth.
"What's wrong?" Tigress asked, fear in her voice.
"Nothing…just a reminder that I don't have much time left." Shifu looked over and spotted his staff leaning against the trunk of the peach tree.
He stood and walked over to it. Taking it in his hands he looked it over with a fond smile as he recalled all the memories attached to it. The red panda sighed contently before looking over at Tigress, who was watching him closely. She moved her head to follow his movement as he came back to stand in front of her.
"This belongs to you now," he said, placing it in her hands.
Tigress was speechless as she looked at the staff in her hand. She hadn't thought of who would be the next Grand Master, it was the furthest thing from her mind. But a new Grand Master would have to take Shifu's place; she just never imagined he would give the role to her. It was an honor to be sure. But it did nothing to quell her fear at the thought.
"Shifu I-I can't do this."
"Of course you can," he replied softly, seeing the fear in her eyes. "You were meant for it."
"But I'm not ready…"
Shifu smiled. "No one ever really is. I wasn't when Oogway left. But I know you, Tigress. You'll rise above your fears, and you'll be stronger than anything that might hold you back."
Their attention was drawn suddenly by the lightening of the sky. The moon was descending as the sky slowly changed from the cold dark of night to the cool pale of dawn. On the horizon a thin streak of soft, off-white and yellow light could be seen with flecks of blush pink and pale orange. The shadow of the oncoming sun caused the lowest part of the sky to show wisps of faint gray.
It was going to be a beautiful morning, but Shifu and Tigress observed it in a solemn silence.
They turned back to each other. Shifu could feel it now. Some unseen force was trying to pull him away from this place, and he knew he couldn't resist its call much longer.
"Tigress…I'm…I'm afraid it's time." She said nothing. All she could do was look at him and fight back her tears. Shifu turned and took a step toward the pointed edge of the hill.
Tigress suddenly stirred, quickly reached out and caught his hand. "Wait Shifu," her voice shook with such desperation and sorrow that it broke the red panda's heart just to hear it. "Please, don't go! I can't do this on my own."
Shifu turned and looked at her with more warmth and tenderness than she had ever seen in his eyes before. He gave her a sad smile as he came back to her. Framing her face in his hands he looked into her eyes.
"You always have been, and always will be, the treasure of my heart. That will never change."
Tigress smiled and Shifu wiped away the tears that had escaped his daughter's eyes. He gave her a kiss on her forehead before pulling her into a hug. Tigress couldn't suppress the shudder as she began to cry. She held him tight.
"Please don't leave me, dad."
Shifu stroked her head. "I never will." Slowly he pulled back to look in her eyes once more, the sad smile still on his face. "You are my daughter, and I love you so much more then I could ever tell you. Remember these things, and I will never truly be far from you."
Shifu let her go and again started for the edge, and this time Tigress let him go. He stopped just shy of the rim as a wind came up from behind him. Tigress got to her feet and watch as Shifu turned around to face her. Hundreds of peach petals blew off the tree and started to swirl around the red panda. The wind started to blow them up toward the sky and Shifu almost seemed to be fading into them. He gave Tigress one last smile which she returned.
"Shifu!" Tigress cried as she rushed forward, her hand outstretched.
Shifu reached his hand out for her and their fingers just brushed before he was gone. Tigress stood motionless and watched the petals fly away and disappear with the last of the stars. Tears still fell from her eyes, but now there was also a smile on her face, along with an unmistakable calm in her heart. Now they could both truly be at peace.
"Goodbye…" she whispered.
Tigress walked up the stairs to the peach trees. The old one was in the last phase of its life, but the new one was thriving and beautiful.
Time had washed away most of the vibrant color of her fur, and her black markings were now gray with small flecks of white. Much had happened in the fifty years since Master Shifu had died.
Crane no longer lived in the Valley of Peace. He had gone back home to spend the rest of his years with family. Viper still helped to teach at the Jade Palace, but she now took up residence down in the valley among the villagers. Mantis and Monkey still lived and taught at the palace and Po…well, Po hadn't changed at all.
He, Monkey and Mantis were currently in the barrack's kitchen with the younger students having some kind of bean bun showdown and doing goodness knows what with the rice cakes.
It was all their racket that brought Tigress out here. She enjoyed watching the fun, but tonight she just felt like taking a walk. She suddenly heard muffled but still very audible cheers from the students. The Grand Master smiled and shook her head. "Kids."
Tigress looked down at the memorial stone that they had placed by the new peach tree in honor of Shifu many years ago.
"I bet you thought the same of us at times."
The tiger Master's green robe brushed the ground as she bent over to clean off some dirt that had made its way onto the smooth, reflective stone. There wasn't a day that went by when she didn't miss him, but that one last chance she had to speak with him had made living without him a little easier.
Tigress gave a content sigh. She felt tired tonight for some reason. Usually she had a little more stamina than this. "You forget you're not as young as you used to be," she told herself with a weary smile.
More cheering, in addition to laughing and a chanting of 'Po! Po!' had broken out in the kitchen. Tigress was certain she didn't want to know, but though she rolled her eyes the smile never left her.
"The things you've missed, Shifu…of course you're probably grateful." She added with a slight laugh.
It was such a lovely night. She deiced not to go in as she had planned. Instead she settled in under the branches of the old peach tree, leaning her back against it so she could look out at the distant mountains.
As Tigress sat, wrapped in the peaceful night, her eyes became heavy. She couldn't explain this sudden tired feeling, but she didn't fight it. She closed her eyes to rest them and fell asleep. Something roused her from her sleep a few moments later, but when she opened her eyes she was no longer under the peach tree. She found herself lying on nothing; a bright light and comforting warmth surrounded her on every side.
She heard the sound of someone playing a familiar melody on a flute. Slowly sitting up she looked over and saw Shifu, his back was to her.
"Shifu?" she called to him, slightly puzzled.
The red panda stopped playing and turned around. He looked so different…younger. He gave her a warm smile before coming to her. "Hello Tigress."
Tigress returned his smile. She understood now. She reached out and the two hugged in greeting.
"I've been waiting for you," Shifu said.
Tigress' smile broadened as she remained in her father's embrace. At long last she was home, and nothing would ever be able to separate daughter from father again...
The End
A/N: Well there it is. The last story of my trilogy. I honestly thought I'd never get it done, but I did. Yay! :D
I pretty much locked myself in my room for four days and listened to This Broken Soul by Rebecca Kneubuhl the whole time while writing this. XD I don't recommend trying to write something in four days though. It was...interesting. *faint* LOL!
Anyway thank you everyone for reading! I hope you've enjoyed it. :)
And thank you so much to my dear friend FyreDragon5 for all her encouragement and for the amazing cover artwork she has made for these stories! They are so AWESOME! Thank you Fyre!