Lying on the couch at home, he stared at his phone, while it was on speaker, in a mixture of confusion and giddiness. "Soo...you've been hiding in your room, in your own house this whole weekend, because of the kids."

"...not so much hiding as to avoiding."

He burst out laughing. "Zoro! You can't be serious? Why are you doing this? Ohmygod, that's so fucking funny. A grown ass man hiding from the guy he's totally interested in, because your scared of what you'll do? Shouldn't you be more concerned on what Sanji'll do?" He paused. "No, let him get all mad and worked up, the sex will be amazing."

"Damn it, Ace. This is all your damn fault anyway. Get Luffy outta my hands and look after him for once. He's really not all that happy that all your time is only for Smoker. All he ever talks about when it concerns you is how you've pretty much forgotten him."

Frowning, he watched Smoker walk from their room to the kitchen, probably hoping for his morning caffine fix. "Now that's just being mean, Zo-chan. Luffy knows I love him and that I'll gladly spend time with him."

"When was the last time just the two of you hung out?"

"Uh..."

"Exactly, it was probably before you guys got back together, when you were an emotional wreck too busy wallowing in self-induced misery."

"Hey, why are we talking about my problems when you called me to talk about yours? Hmm? Like how you've been reduced to cowering in your bedroom from one of your own students because you are clueless on how to handle a relationship?" He knew Zoro had called in a bad mood and was likely why he was being a dick, but that didn't give the man the right to chastise him on his brother. "Hou need to just lighten up and let things happen the way it's gonna him ravish you into oblivion and things will be good, right?"

Smoker paused as he was making his way to the chair next to him, brow raised in confusion. "Do I want to know what the hell you're talking about, Portgus?"

"Nothing much, just Zoro's being a wimp and not letting his guy fuck him like he wants to."

"SHUT THE HELL UP, MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU HAVE ME ON SPEAKER?! I'LL KICK YOUR SORRY ASS IN FRONT OF YOUR STUDENTS, I SWEAR TO-"

He snapped the phone closed, laughing to himself as the white haired stared down at him unamused. "You really shouldn't tease the man like that. I'm not going to stop him from the beating you deserve. Though I'm still not to comfortable about a teacher being infatuated with a student, no matter how young Zoro."

He pouted, tilting his hat up. "Probably all red and wide eyed. About the teacher/student thing in all seriousness...I think its okay as long as Zoro cools his jets until after Sanji graduates. But on that it'll probably be Sanji who starts anything." He paused, frowning suddenly. "Awww, you wouldn't protect me? I'd do it for you."

His lover rose his mug to his lips, taking a long sip of his coffee. "That's neither here nor there. I can pretty much guess Zoro was just asking for advice and you gave him dick answers. From what you've told me about his past relationship, it didn't end well for him. So maybe he truely doesn't know or understand how to handle this type and situation."

He sighed, flopping back down into the cushions. "I guess you're right. I'll call back later and try to be a little nicer. But I couldn't resist, Zoro's just so hilarious when he's riled up. It's a shame I couldn't see his face."

"Should I be concerned about my standing in your ranks? But on the other note, you can spend more time with your brother, you know. I'm not going to stop you." Smoker set the mug down on the table and stood, stepping over and leaning over him. Hands gripping the sofa on eitherside of his head. "I just got you back and I'm not planning on letting you go again. But I don't want to be the reason why you've neglected your family."

He smiled, raising his arms and draping them around his lovers neck. "You couldn't get rid of me if you wanted to. Not this time." He frowned, a slow motion of guilt coursing through him. "And I guess you, and Zoro, are right. I have been ignoring Luffy and he doesn't deserve that."

"So..."

He grinned. "I think I'm going to to take him for a little trip, just me and him." He tugged the man down until his love was draped over him. "You going to be okay without me for a few days?"

Smoker snorted, burrowing his face into his neck. "I think I'll manage. One thing though..."

He twirled a white strand between his fingers. "Hmm?"

"Why were you on the couch naked?"

"Why not be naked on the couch? You're the one that ruined my clothes from last night. I was just too lazy to pull out some new threads before my phone started ringing. You owe me a new suit, by the way. Was it worth the clatteral damage?"

Smoker chuckled, pushing himself up to his elbows and slowly rolled his hips down. "Definately."

oOoOoOoOoO

Glaring at his phone, he was tempted to throw the thing into the wall. "Damn it, Ace. One time I ask for advice and you're completely useless." He buried his face in his pillow.

And I'm acting like a 13 year old girl complaining about the boy she likes to her friend. I've officially hit rock bottom.

Numerious times both Sanji and Luffy have knocked on his door, only to be ignored. He didn't feel like talking to the blond, still pissed at being reduced to a fucking slut by the teen. Though all things considering, he didn't really help the opinion the way he responded to Sanji's advances two nights ago. But still...it infuriated him.

He wasn't going to admit that it hurt as well. "Fuck, I've really become pathetic." He pushed himself up on his elbows. This fucking ends now, damn it. I will not continue to be a fucking coward and let some bratty teenager reduce me any lower.

Just as he stood up from his bed, the familiar sound on impending footsteps approaching his door, before the banging followed. "Shithead, if you don't open this door this fucking instant, I will kick it down. You know I can and you know I will."

Maybe I should just go back to bed...The wood splinted under Sanji's boot as it collided with the door, shards of wood flying across the room, some hitting him before dropping to the floor. Sanji stood there, foot raised, face twisted in anger. There went that plan.

"What is with you and breaking my shit? Seriously, how many times are you going to kick my doors in?" The blond remained silent as he stomped forward, his glare darkening the closer he got. "Why're you in here, anyway? I'm not gonna put out for you just because I like you. No matter what you think of me and/or my regrettable actions a few nights previous, I am not so easy as to spread my legs over a few kisses. Now, get the hell outta my room."

Sanji stood before him, breathing heavily as he continued to glare at him. He finally took notice of the blonds state; hair was a messy, dark circles ran under his eyes, his clothes were wrinkled.

"What the hell happened to you?"

"You insufferable-"

"Hey-"

"-egotistical, moronic-"

"What the fuck is y-"

Sanji was now shaking in rage, fist clenched tightly at his sides. Is he seriously thinking about using his hands? "-cowardly, shithead swordsman! I've been trying to fucking apologize."

He snorted, rubbing his ear at the blonds shirl voice. "Not like you could hurt my feelings, curlybrow." He lied, hoping the guy would just run out of steam and just drop the subject.

Sanji shuffled on his feet, his glare shifting to the floor, looking like a child who knew they've done something bad. "Damn it, just stop...acting like an adult for a damn minute and hit me or something."

He frowned. "Now why the hell would I do that?"

"Because I know I fucking hurt you, saying what I said. It wasn't right and a fucking feel bad for it and I hate you for making me feel like that and..." His frown deepened when he noticed Sanji's visible eye welling up in frustration. "Fuuuck, why the hell do I feel like this? I've never felt like this with any of the girls I've been with, so why the hell am I acting like this with you?"

He stared, remaining silent while the teen had his breakdown, trying to think of the best way to handle the situation. He thought back to when Chopper was younger when he had it out with his adoptive mother and came here to hide. Not much in anger or fear, but in shame.

Tentively, he reached over and placed a hand on Sanji's head, causing the other to freeze. His thick fingers corded through the blond strands before gently patting Sanji's scalp. He pulled his hand back as the other stared up at him with wide eyes. He got right in Sanji's face and poked his forehead with a finger. "Nice speech. But like I said, it takes a lot more than that to hurt my feelings."

Sanji glared. "Then why haven't you been out of your room for the past two days? You know how much I detest someone going hungry."

He pointed over his shoulder, a deadpan look on his face. "I have to hide shit whenever I even think Luffy's coming over."

"You're seriously hording your food?"

"Mostly sake, but yeah. Oh, and before I forget..." He shot his leg forward and kicked Sanji's knee, bringing the other to the ground.

"What the hell was that for, you shithead?!"

He stepped over the blonds body, grinning down at the others pain. "Just because I said my feelings weren't hurt doesn't mean that I wasn't pissed off. Oh and by the way-" He crouched down just as Sanji sat up, still cursing in pain. "Just so we're clear on something."

"What, you going to try and punch me now too? Just know that I will hit back this time."

"Nope." Was all he said before leaning over and placing a chaste kiss on the others lips, pulling back quickly to enjoy Sanji's surprised expression. "By prepared, since you seem able to handle this thing between us, I will be trying a bit harder to win your favor. Now-" He stood, stretching his arms over his head. "-I am going to do some training. If you need me, I will be in the dojo. And what's for dinner. I'd love to have something that isn't full of carbohydrates."

And he made his way out of his room, leaving behind Sanji, who was still stunned on the floor.

He poked his head back around the door to see the bewildered teen on the carpet before stating. "Oh, and if this back-an'-forthing shit is a little bit about your overseas study thing, that was the reason why I wasn't going to make any advances. Now thats something we both got to think on before taking anything further. When you are ready to talk about this like an adult, I'll be ready."

oOoOoOoOoO

He was being unneccessariy loud as he prepared dinner, still furious by what Zoro had said before locking himself in the weight room, hiding once again.

Carbs, my ass! I can't believe he knew about my scholarships and didn't say anything! He paused, making a face. Wait, he'd have access to student files wouldn't he...

He smacked his forehead with a pan, embarrassed. "I can't believe I didn't realized this shit sooner."

"Sanji's being stupid."

His head whipped around and glared over at his grinning straw hatted friend, wishing that Chopper hadn't come and visit so he could kill him and hide the body. No one would be the wiser; just have to cut him up and-

Chopper pouted. "My guess is both. But Luffy said you were trying to eat Zoro. Should I request a doctor to examine you psyche? I haven't gotten that far into my studies." He started sniffling, tears welling into his eyes. "Please, don't eat Zoro. He's my best friend."

I will piss on Luffy's grave.

He groaned, running his hand through his hair. "I wasn't trying to eat Zoro. Luffy's an idiot, so don't listen to what he says. Zoro's fine, he's in his cave trying to work himself into a coma."

The little doctor sighed, gripping his hat. "Oh, he's going to hurt himself one day."

Luffy snickered, patting the top of Choppers hat. "He's fine. You worry too much." He paused. "That reminds me...I need to tell him some girl called him."

Clink.

He glanced around. "Girl?"

"Uh-huh. She sounded like she reeeeally wanted to talk to him. But I just told her he was hiding and then she started yelling at me. So I just hung up."

Clink.

"Why would a girl be calling Zoro. What girl would really want to converse with him?"

Luffy pointed at him, frowning. "You're starting to be an asshole again. Zoro's awesome. And since you're wanting to have sex with him, then you can't be saying stuff like that. It's mean."

"Luffy!" Face burning, he turned to glare over his shoulder, knife in hand. "I can say whatever the hell I want about him."

Chopper gasped, clapping his hands together. "You guys are together? That's awesome." The little guy started doing his normal little dance. "I'm so happy. Zoro's been lonely and now he can be happy to."

He was being tag teamed. Both Luffy and Chopper were glowing and dancing around each other like he'd just said that he and Zoro were engaged or something. What the hell do I do now? Damn it, Marimo! Leaving me with this shit.

Luffy grinned, crouching down to Chopper's height. "Let's go get Zoro and congradulate him! This is so awesome!"

He was honestly confused. "Why're you so surprised?"

"Cause you're acting just like Smokey! He gets all jealous and stuff over Ace. And he says whatever he wants about him, but is always super nice when he feels like it." The teen snickered. "You're a big marshmellow."

Chopper giggled. "Sanji's a marshmellow~"

Luffy's eyes started to sparkle. "That means you guys are gonna get married!"

Chopper squealed, covering his mouth. "Married?!" They both turned, yelling for Zoro as the two made their way to the weight room.

Left alone in the kitchen, he honestly wondered what the hell just happened.

"D-Did I just get their blessing?"

...

"Is there a reason why we are supposedly married and somehow have three children, all with green hair and swirly eyebrows? Did I miss something interesting?"

He didn't look at the man from his spot on the couch, cigarette hanging lazily between his lips. "We got the brats blessing. So now we are legally married. Where we going for the honeymoon? I want my roses and champagne now, my oh so loving husband. When're you going to wine and dine me?" He plucked the cig from his lips. "Just so you know, you're the wife."

"I really must've missed something good. The sex better be worth marrying your ass."

"Oh yeah, had ya screaming my name."

"If you say so." Zoro paused. "I need a beer if we're continuing this conversation seriously."

"Make that two."

"You aren't old enough to drink, swirly."

"Fuck, was hoping you'd lighten up after the wedding."

"Must've not have did a good enough job in the sack."

He glared over his shoulder, before doubling over in hysterics. "Holy shit, I can't believe we just did this."

Zoro shrugged, lifting the bottle to his mouth. "I thought it was pretty funny." The man started laughing as well, leaning against the back of the couch. "We've been hanging around Luffy too much. We're losing our mind."

"And by the way..." He started, reaching over and gripping the back of Zoro's head, making the man face him. "The sex was amazing."

oOoOoOoOoO

Luffy and Chopper stared down at their friends, doubled over the couch, dying in laughter. "What happened?"

"I dunno."